


Thread of the Fates

by Hyperionova



Series: PRODIGIALIS [2]
Category: EXO, EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Mutants, F/F, Fantasy, Lovehate, M/M, Multi, Mutant Powers, Mutants, School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-07-22 01:14:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 43
Words: 107,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7412686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyperionova/pseuds/Hyperionova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for leaving comments and kudos, guys :')</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. Foreword

Poster courtesy of Asphyxy on AFF

In spite of living a decent Flairer's exquisitely and ironically mundane life, Kai has his own inner demons to reign over. Howbeit, it's virtually impossible. Freshly turned 18, Kai has gobs and a shedload of unwanted troubles on his plate. He hides behind the mask of belligerence and insubordination in order to fit in, and he yields to absolutely nobody. He makes his own rules and often his reckless behaviour comes with a string of inconvenient consequences. This is his journey, this is his story. Of course, the bloody annoying Sehun just has to tag along in his story to make his life miserable. So it's his story, but he's bound to share it with his lovesick roommate slash family friend slash bully victim, Sehun.

Kai doesn't foresee the dire consequences of his curiosity when he unleashes the most powerful Flairer that has been locked away for decades. A Flairer who hunts down Flairers and feeds on the Flairs, steals them. A Flairer who wants to hunt down all of Recherchés one by one. And he is Grace and Gwenna's much feared father—the oldest living Recherché. With no option but to join hands with his most hated/most loved person in this world, Kai has to share his story with Sehun now. Because Sehun is Kai's destiny as much as Kai is Sehun's.

* * *

**CAST**

 

_ **Kai** _

FLAC's most infamous bad boy who cares for no one, for nothing. Constantly seeking for adventures, which lands him in a web of problems and is entirely beguiling. There's a dark side of him which attracts almost everyone who crosses path with him which he misinterprets to be the reason for his roommate's sudden interest in him. It doesn't matter what made Sehun follow him around like an obsessive lovesick pup, what matters is that Kai is deeply affected by it. Little does he know about the history he and Sehun share—or perhaps the history they would have shared if Sehun hadn't altered their destinies. Although he hates the fact that his roommate is continuously testing his patience, he isn't going to humour Sehun one bit.

 

 

 

_ **Sehun** _

He is in love with the Kai he met in a life that he can no longer claim. He is hopelessly in love with the memory of that man. What he isn't in love with is a total wannabe, a snobbish douchebag and a complete asshole. All what Kai is right now at this age. Sehun doesn't have the strength to start all over and no matter how hard he tries, he just couldn't see the same Kai he loves in the jerk he rooms with and goes to Christmas dinners with. There's so much about the young Kai that Sehun indisputably hates, but he only needs one reason to love him. He's Kai.

 

 

 

_ **Shixun** _

Sehun's sassy, cocky twin brother who mostly cares about his own business. Until his brother needs him. Although he loves picking on Sehun or completely ignoring his existence, he will always be there for his brother. Through thick or thin. Completely in love with the man of his dreams and has serious sharing problems. Overly possessive, extremely obsessive when it comes to his boyfriend. Which is why he hates Byun Baekhyun's guts.

 

 

 

_ **Kris** _

Sex, make out, cuddle, petty arguments, expensive gifts, fancy dinners, he can handle it all anytime, any place, except his long term boyfriend's possessiveness and unreasonable jealousy. It kills him to keep convincing Shixun that he isn't off sleeping with everyone on campus. While he loves failing almost every term at FLAC, Shixun is the smartest student in the academy. Things get tricky when his boyfriend's twin brother starts showing an interest in Kris' own brother, Kai.

 

 

 

_ **Chanyeol** _

The only person crazy enough to believe Sehun's crazy stories.

 

 

 

**_Baekhyun_ **

Has a secret crush on Chanyeol, but is far too stubborn to admit it.

 

 

 

**Additional Characters:**

Xiomara

Amber

Mark

Jungkook

Yixing

Donghae

Gwenna

Grace

Faiion

Dillan

Allis

Daehun

Dezmond

Jaehan

 


	2. PROLOGUE

There is thirst. A brutal thirst that is waiting to be quenched. There is hunger. A hunger that is waiting to be satisfied. There is darkness. An endless darkness. He runs through it. He runs in all directions. He is out of breath. There is just no end. There is no finish line in this labyrinth. He just has to keep running. Darkness has seeped into every wall of the labyrinth. He runs as fast as his feet could carry him, trying to escape the darkness. That is the problem. He _is_ the darkness. He is already consumed by the darkness. He cannot run from it. He can only nurture it. He tries to outrun the darkness come what may. He isn’t going to let it engulf him alive. It chases after him relentlessly, extending its dark claws to clutch Kai. His biggest fear, worst terror is his strongest ally, his most powerful strength.

Kai has only one fear. It is the darkness within himself which he can never outrun.

He jolts upright and his eyes fly open as he pants, sobbing for air. Sweat beads roll down his temples and collect at his chin. His shirt is soaked and as usual, there is a patch of wetness on his pillow. He squirms and covers his eyes with his forearm when the sunlight pours into his room without a warning. “Mom!” he groans, realizing it is his mother who is humming a familiar tune as she shoves the thick maroon drapes aside, letting the cruel sun gush its rays into the room.

“What are you, a Vampire?” she scoffs as Kai lowers his arm and glowers at his mother. She is collecting the worn clothes which are scattered all over the room. “How many times should I tell you to bring your dirty underwear down for laundry?!”

“Mom, stop!” he grunts, jumping off the bed and hurries to pick up his boxers from the floor. “You don’t have to treat me like a child, anymore!”

“Oh?” she arches an eyebrow. “A grown man would know how to keep his room clean.”

“Why are you nagging me so early in the morning?” he sinks back into the bed. His mother walks over to him and yanks his shorts’ waistband “Mom!” he swats his mother’s hand off.

“How many days have you been wearing that same underwear for?!”

Kai tries to not show his embarrassment in his face. He’s still very bothered by his constant nightmare. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be, seriously?”

“I do,” she smiles a victorious smirk. She might be the headmistress of the best Flairer school in this world, but she’s just a typical mother doting on her son. Kai wishes she would just focus more Kris instead, but everybody knows Kai is the one who needs special attention because apparently, he’s a _recalcitrant menace._ “And so do you. Weekend’s over. Back to school.” She flicks Kai’s forehead.

“Ouch!” Kai slaps his mother’s hand off his forehead before rubbing it.

“You’re going back, Kai. No arguing.”

“I’m not even arguing,” he collapses back in the bed and tucks himself under the duvet. “I’m just saying there’s no point. I’m better than any kid there.”

“Well, if you were, you’d be as good as Shixun.”

“He’s an arrogant little snob.” Kai honestly doesn’t know what Kris sees in Shixun that he has been enduring him for years now.

He hears his mother sigh exasperatedly. “It’s your last year as a junior Flairer. You’ll be joining the higher institute soon. You can’t slack off now, Kai. At least try to pass it, okay? Now, chop-chop.”

Kai groans into the pillow as his mother shuts the door. He sits up and runs a hand through his hair, grimacing at his huge, extravagant room.

 

~*~

 

Kai has always had it easy. This is his life. He isn’t meant for great things. But this is his life and he writes his own story.

“Make sure you show up at class tomorrow,” his mother orders in a grim tone with a serious expression etched to her face. Kai gives her a curt nod and proceeds to the feast hall as his mother turns towards her office.

“Hey, Kai!” one of the students who walks by him exclaim, offering Kai a high-five. Kai has enough friends. And he has enough enemies. Plunging his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, he enters the hall for a quick bite of lunch. Kris should be in here at this hour. No one really leaves FLAC except for holidays. Not even Kris, but Kai goes home every weekend (at every chance he gets to be honest) because he simply can’t stand to spend two entire days in a room with bloody Sehun Asherton son of bloody Faiion Asherton.

He finds Kris at their usual table, but his eyebrows furrow into a scowl when he spots Shixun beside Kris, sticking to his boyfriend like a barnacle. Shixun has his lips and tongue all over Kris’ face and Kai just wants to puke at the sight. The worst thing is that Shixun looks exactly like his annoying roommate, so the show is basically like Kris making out with Kai’s most hated person in this world. That isn’t even that bad. Kai has to endure watching Kris and Shixun eat each other’s faces off at almost every family reunion. He doesn’t have anything against Shixun, if he’s being honest. It’s just Shixun’s face that annoys him. Even so, Shixun is slightly more tolerable than his twin brother. You see, Shixun is sometimes a badass and actually isn’t a goody two shoes, although he’s such a nerd when it comes to studies. But his brother, Kai’ll be damned, is just insufferable.

“Vacate the premises, Asherton,” Kai spits when he reaches the table. Kris looks up at his brother and groans.

“Oh, you’re back.” Kris mumbles.

“Nice to see you, too, brother.” He claps a hand on Kris’ shoulder and cocks an eyebrow at Shixun who rises to his feet.

“You don’t own this spot,” Shixun says, smirking a little. “I can sit on this.”

“By _this spot_ , do you mean Kris’ dick? Yeah, I don’t own that. You can suck his face off later. Now, scoot.” He shoves Shixun back and takes his seat on the bench. As he helps himself to the garlic bread, Kris pulls Shixun for one last, _very tongue-ey_ kiss before he lets Shixun walk away.

“You don’t have to be such a prick, you know,” Kris sighs, handing Kai a plate.

“Yeah? We made a pact to destroy the Asherton brothers together when we were young. You’re the one who broke it and went drilling junior Kris into Asherton number one and I’m the prick?”

“You’re disgusting. We’re eating,” someone says from the table next to theirs. Kai turns and sees Baekhyun scowling at him.

“Oh, really? You’re eating? Well, then should we talk about how Kris likes _eating_ ass.” That earns him a slap on the back of his head and Kris jolts up to his feet. Baekhyun grimaces and turns his face away.

“At least I’ve got an ass to eat. You’re gonna die alone. Without any ass!” With that, Kris exits the hall. Shrugging, Kai takes a bite of the buttery bread and grabs the sausages from Kris’ plate. He’s planning on being sloppy today since it’s Sunday. But tomorrow, he’d have to be on top of the food chain again.

When he’s done, he sucks the grease off his thumb and raises his head when a laughter echoes into the hall. His heart drops to his stomach when his eyes land on Sehun and Chanyeol who stride into the hall. Kai doesn’t stop staring at them. In fact, he leans back against the table and props his elbows on its edge, crossing his legs rudely. The blonde-haired boy looks in his way as he walks in. That’s Sehun. The only guy Kai has hated since he was probably an infant. That’s how much he loathes Sehun. Does he have reasons for disliking Sehun? Yes. Are they good reasons? Sure. How many reasons does he need? None. He just hates Sehun’s guts.

Sehun’s smile disappears completely as he walks past Kai. His gentle smile is replaced by a haughty black scowl. Did Kai mention Sehun hates him just as hard in return? Sehun takes his seat at a table with Chanyeol and ignores Kai’s existence.

Kai loves FLAC. He loves the fact that he has the freedom to do whatever he wants in FLAC. He loves being the king of the academy. He loves the fact that he is untouchable when he’s in school. The school isn’t his problem. Shixun hanging out with Kris isn't his problem. The classes aren't his problem. The school _just_ isn't his problem. The fact that he’s been hopelessly in love with his impossibly egotistical, high-handed, pompous roommate for years is his problem.

 


	3. Soulmates

_“Do you believe in soulmates, Sehun?”_

_“Soulmates? I… never really thought about it. Why—do you?”_

_“No, not really. But I want to believe in it now.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because it’s less hurtful that way… and I would still have something to hope for. Soulmates will always find their way to one another no matter which reality they’re in, no matter which universe, world. I know this sounds like bullshit and trust me, I feel like a moron for saying this. But maybe it isn’t so moronic. Something to hope for…”_

_“You’re saying that we’ll find our way to each other? Because we’re… soulmates? I never pegged you for a man who believes in that kind of paradoxes, Master Kai.”_

_“Yeah, well. I never pegged myself to be the man who’d sleep with a teenage boy and endorse all sorts of taboos.”_

_“Shut up.”_

_“You sure are cocky now, you know.”_

_“Only because you let me do that. All right… Something to hope for. If we’re soulmates, we’ll find our way.”_

He rouses to the chime of the bell’s toll. His eyes fly open and he wakes up with the same heartache. He probably should have become immune to the pain his soul cries in, but he could not. It’s always the same dream. It’s always the same torture. _“If we’re soulmates, we’ll find our way.”_

Sehun sits up and glances around the room, hoping that Kai isn’t there. He isn’t. He never is. He comes to the room usually when Sehun is asleep and he leaves before Sehun even wakes up. And Sehun definitely isn’t complaining. He’d like to see as little of Kai as possible.

The most painful torment in this world has to be seeing the man they love have no idea he was in love with them or that he had taken so much away from them that they cannot continue with their lives as everyone else can. Sehun has to see Kai’s face every single day and convince himself that he isn’t the man he loves or the man who had loved him back.

Sucking in a deep breath, Sehun gets off the bed and pushes the windows open. It’s a summer day—full of warm zest and amazing freshness. The sunrays dance on Sehun’s face, leaving it warm and fuzzy. Sehun smiles to himself and retreats to the bathroom.

A couple of months ago, he came back to this very dorm as a totally different person. He is still him, but he is now living the life of another person’s. This isn’t _his_ life. Although he had only intended to alter Grace, his mother’s destiny, he had altered all of their fates. But maybe not their destinies. Gwenna says he hasn’t meddled with anyone else’s destiny. She says her has always been to help her family, to help _him_. And she says she has done that. That begs the question, what is Sehun’s destiny? And what is Kai’s?

He tries to never think about Kai, but he somehow ends up only thinking about him. Not his tyrannous, cocky bastard of a roommate Kai, but the Kai who’s lost from Sehun’s destiny, who’s lost in another dimension of the world. Sehun likes to believe that Kai still lives in some other dimension of the universe, but he knows he’s just fooling himself.

Maybe Sehun should cut Kai some slack. This new, young, stupid Kai. God, but he just can’t. Everything about _this_ Kai just enrages him. At one point, Sehun just wanted to drop a huge rock on his head while he’s sleeping and kill him. But there’s something even scarier than that. What if this _is_ Kai? What if this is how Kai is supposed to be when he is younger? Well, Sehun sure as hell never would have fallen for the younger, crazy bastard, then.

Kai, in the beginning, was an even more of a jerk. By _in the beginning_ , Sehun means when he first found the younger Kai in the dorm. But Sehun had been stupid enough to believe that he could make this Kai like him just as how the other Kai had loved him. He couldn’t have been more wrong. This Kai is twice as headstrong and twice as stubborn.

Thinking about everything that Sehun had done the first two months makes him want to drive a dagger through his own heart. He had followed Kai around like a pathetic lovesick pup, almost like an insane stalker and that was when Kai began to become wary of Sehun and he gradually started to avoid Sehun.

Sehun still hadn’t given up on him. He chased Kai around embarrassingly and did everything that could possibly make Kai happy. He bought him nice gifts, brought him food he likes and all that Kai did was give him a disdainful look before he’d throw them all in the trash. Slowly, little by little, Sehun succumbed to his heartbreak and let himself be broken completely. He was done being nice to Kai and he was done believing Kai is still the same man he loves.

No matter how much Sehun tried to be friends with Kai, Kai never let him even an inch closer. He never lets Sehun in. He never gives Sehun a chance. He’s a cruel, heartless asshole.

Sehun soon came to a decision that he had never been in love with this Kai and that he didn’t care even if this is the actual Kai, he can never love such a person. Kai is nothing but a bully who rides on his parents’ coattails and uses his Flair to do all the untoward deeds. Sehun began to completely loathe him when he saw Kai tyrannizing students in the corridors. He’d make them jump like frogs. He’d make the girls kiss each other. He’d pick on everyone, big and small. He’d just fist-fight anyone who challenges him right there and then, and no one is strong enough to beat him. That is something Sehun already know. Kai has that perfect set of fighting skills even at this young age.

Eventually, Sehun gave up.

He stands before the mirror as he zips up the red hoodie over the white t-shirt and buckles the belt around his faded blue jeans. He combs his fingers through his blonde hair. He had sworn to never let anyone mess with his hair, but after he had decided to give up on Kai, he also let his hair grow longer and had it dyed it blonde. Shixun had called him gay for that, but Sehun wasn’t bothered. He needed to just change himself.

After grabbing his backpack, he heads out the dorm.

“For Christ’s sake, you can’t seriously think that. Of course, they’ll explode.” Sehun hears Chanyeol’s voice when he reaches down the stairs of the tower. He finds Chanyeol and Baekhyun perched on the railing of the corridor as usual.

“That’s so creepy,” Baekhyun gasps.

Also, Sehun has learnt how to block his mind from Chanyeol and other mind-readers. That isn’t the only perk of living this new life. He has full control of both of his powers and apparently, no one but Gwenna knows about his sub-Flairs. Yes, sub-Flairs. Plural. He’s been concatenated with Shixun for years now and it allows him full control of his powers, just Shixun has full control over his.

“Hey,” Sehun greets when he walks over to his friends. He has a strong feeling that Chanyeol’s destiny has something to do with him because even in this life, Chanyeol has found his way back to Sehun and vice versa. If only things were this easy with Kai.

“Oh, my God! Chanyeol just told me something,” Baekhyun exclaims, sliding closer to Chanyeol to make space for Sehun to sit. It’s kind of obvious how much Baekhyun likes Chanyeol. For some odd reason, Chanyeol pretends like he’s the only one in this world who doesn’t see it. Maybe it has something to do with Kris being Baekhyun’s ex-boyfriend. They dated for like two months or something and it isn’t even a big deal. No one even remembers it because Shixun and Kris have apparently been together for way longer and is sort of the power couple of FLAC. No one remembers it, but Shixun does a pretty good job of reminding everyone of it whenever he sees Baekhyun.

“Who’d explode?” Sehun goes straight to the point.

“Oh, you heard?” Chanyeol asks. “Bluggers. If way too many Flairs are injected into them, they’d explode.”

“Oh,” Sehun tries to look shocked, but the information doesn’t surprise him. “That’s crazy.” Sehun has also learnt that he is supposed to be a total snob and he is one of the most feared Flairers in FLAC. Can you believe it? Sehun. Snob. Most feared.

“I know.” Chanyeol shifts his gaze to the men fixing poles of lanterns in the yard.

“It’s the Ghost Moon tonight,” Baekhyun says as if he had read Sehun’s mind.

“Oh, it’s tonight?” Chanyeol rasps.

“What’s the Ghost Moon?” Sehun inquires and this information surprises him.

Both Baekhyun and Chanyeol look at him funny. “What do you mean it’s the Ghost Moon?” Chanyeol asks.

Sehun shrugs, looking genuinely confused. “What is it?”

Chanyeol rolls his eyes and jumps to his feet. “We’ll be late for class. Come on.”

Sehun doesn’t push the topic any further. He’ll find out what it is later in the assembly, he supposes.

He follows Chanyeol and Baekhyun through the corridor. Some of the students smile in Sehun’s way and Sehun smiles back. He spots Shixun and Kris making out outside a classroom. It’s a common sight these days and Sehun still couldn’t get used to it. Kris has his hands all over Shixun’s hips and ass while Shixun clings onto Kris’ letterman jacket. He also couldn’t get used to the fact of having a twin brother.

Kris is a good guy, at least. He is definitely preferable compared to Kai. And he should be applauded for sticking with Shixun all these years. You see, Shixun doesn’t exactly have one of the most amicable or admirable personalities. It must kill to be his boyfriend for years. Sehun has heard Chanyeol say that people have bets going around here every semester to see if they’ll break up that semester.

Sehun tears his gaze from Kris and Shixun when he hears the string of giggles and sudden whispers. He looks ahead in the corridor and his heart drops to his stomach. The worst and most torturous of all is that Kai still has the same smile. That is the only thing that keeps reminding Sehun that he loves Kai.

Kai is walking past the crowd that’s reeling over him. He has an impeccable sense of style, Sehun must give him that. In spite of the piercing, Kai still pulls off that corporate powerhouse style. He usually sports a blazer, a pair of pants of the same colour and a white shirt. He likes showing off that he’s the richest and most influential kid here. Sometimes, he just dons a leather jacket and a pair of ripped jeans with t-shirts, and he still looks like he can knock people for six.

Today, he’s clad in a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and jeans. His wrist is adorned by a watch, his hair is neatly styled and he’s sporting a pair of black sunglasses. He’s practically a celebrity in FLAC and Sehun now knows why Kai was such an arrogant ass when he grew older. It sends a pang to Sehun’s heart because he just misses that arrogant ass a lot.

Kai turns a blind eye to everyone as he surges past them like they’re nothing but shadows. You’d think these people would take a goddamn hint. Sehun looks away as he brushes past Kai. He notices when Kai lowers his shades just a little to sneer at Sehun in that cocky way which Sehun just hates so much.

* * *

 

 

Kai never tries too hard. But when he does try at all, he makes sure heads will turn and jaws will drop. That’s what people both love and hate the most about him. When he enters the classroom, Miss Titty Pip glares in his way as all eyes move to rake Kai. The girls start to do their giggle-whisper thing. Kai spots Sehun in his usual spot at a desk with Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

“You’re fifteen minutes late, Kai,” Miss Pip says. If there’s a teacher Kai can never take seriously of, it’s her.

He salutes her with two fingers and proceeds to his seat. On his way, he deliberately knocks Sehun’s juice box over and it almost makes a mess, but Sehun saves it from toppling all over his books and papers. Kai shoots him a victorious smirk as he takes his seat. Sehun is scowling with all his might, but he doesn’t retaliate as usual, and Kai fights the urge to walk over and slam his head to the desk before grabbing his hair and kissing all over his mouth. Yeah, Kai does want to hit and kiss Sehun a lot.

Kai doesn’t always acknowledge his obsessive feelings for Sehun and in fact, he was starting to get immune to it, but a couple of months ago, Sehun started to pay Kai the sort of attention he had never given Kai before and that’s when it started again. All this fucked up things Kai is feeling for Sehun. Being with him in a room is like locking yourself in a lion’s den.


	4. Good-For-Nothing Jackass

Kai used to love the attention he gets on a daily basis. He used to love the adoration he gets when he walks into the room as though his presence itself is quite a spectacle. He loved the attention mostly because it used to irritate the hell out Sehun. But nowadays, he’s lucky if he even gets a scowl or a mocking sneer from Sehun when he shows up. It almost feels like the provocative, competitive, snobbish Sehun has completely shut down.

Kai wouldn’t say he misses the attention he used to get from Sehun, but he is just so confused about what and where it had gone wrong. For some odd reason, Kai finds Sehun’s new odd behaviour even more intriguing. You could tell he’s a little obsessed with Sehun.

“It really sucks we can’t attend the Halloween ball,” Kris says and groans tiredly. Kai pins his brother with a sidelong glance as they weave their way to the assembly hall. “Who the hell decided on these dumb family traditions, I swear to God.”

“What have you got to complain about?” Kai takes his shades off and cocks a brow at Kris. “Your sweetheart’s going to be there anyway.”

Kris rolls his eyes. “It’s not always about Shixun, okay?”

“Oh?” Kai scoffs. “Since when is it not always about Shixun?”

The hall is already packed with students and teachers. Kai puts the sunglasses back on. It’s the Ghost Moon tonight—the one night when Snatchers are allowed to roam as they wish in the darkness of the moonless night. Several years ago, they used to kidnap students from FLAC, but these days, there’s a tight curfew for all the students on the Ghost Moon night, just as safety measures.

“Hey, Kai,” a girl coos with a lewd smirk plastered to her pretty face when Kai walks past her. A couple of months ago, he would have smirked back especially if Sehun’s looking. But now, he pretends as though he didn’t hear her.

“I’m just saying, it’s not always about Shixun,” Kris starts again in a low voice, probably to be careful in case Shixun is around the corner. “I know it seems like we’re inseparable.”

“Inseparable? It’s practically blasphemy to see you without him. You’re like an old married couple.”

That spreads a blush on Kris’ cheeks. Kai wonders if he’s ever thought about _marrying_ Shixun. Of course, it would have crossed his mind, right? The idea sends a jolt down Kai’s spine and he shudders. The last thing he needs right now is to become properly related to Sehun.

They take their seat at the front row and Suho joins them. “Hiya,” he says, settling in the chair beside Kris. “I just love the Ghost Moon nights. All the evening classes are cancelled.”

Kai tunes them out as Kris and Suho start a random conversation. He casually scans the hall and spots Sehun in the crowd, chattering and laughing with those two losers—Chanyeol and Kris’ ex-boyfriend, Baekhyun. Kris has a horrible taste in boyfriends. Well, at least Shixun looks good. Kai turns his attention the podium when the Headmistress, his mother clears her throat before the microphone.

“Dear students of FLAC, my fellow Flairers,” she starts and shoots a brief glance to Kai who lifts his sunglasses over his head and smiles at his mother. “As all of you should have been informed, it is the Ghost Moon tonight. Therefore, it is essentially important that you all strictly keep to your curfew and no one shall exit their dorms after the ninth bell.”

As she goes on with the regulations about the Ghost Moon, Kai drapes an arm over Kris’ shoulders and slumps back against the chair. Kris is staring elsewhere. Kai follows his gaze. He’s grinning at that short boy from second year, who’s seated at the end of the row. The boy has a sheepish grin on his lips too, but his gaze keeps flitting from the Headmistress to Kris and vice versa. Kai knows the smug look on Kris’ face all too well.

“Ow!” Kris hisses under his breath when Kai brutally slaps the back of his head. “What the hell was that for?”

“Cheat on your boyfriend and I will chop junior Kris off, understand?” Kai mutters in a low voice, gripping the back of Kris’ neck and firmly massages it.

Kris’ eyes widen and he keeps mum for a moment before he scowls and looks away. “It’s not what you think it is. Luhan is in my PTM class.”

“I don’t care whether he’s Luhan or whether he’s in your PTM class. Never betray the person who loves you the most. Don’t even _look_ at him. So stop eye-fucking him.” Kai slaps Kris’ head again before retrieving his arm and stands up. His mother isn’t interrupted as he saunters out of the hall. If he’s going to be locked in a room with Sehun for the rest of evening, he might as well take a shower and slip into bed before Sehun shows up.

He comes to a halt on his way to the tower when he notices Shixun perched on the railings with a book splayed open in his lap. He is gnawing on his fingernails, swinging his legs as he sternly reads. Shixun is always hanging with either books or Kris.

Kai plans on walking past him without bothering him. He never picks on Shixun. It’s Sehun who has always been his victim. That might be because even as kids, Sehun was the one who had always irritated the shit out of Kai. He even bit Kai’s arm once when they were young. That little piece of…

“Nerd,” Kai spits when he crosses Shixun.

Shixun doesn’t raise his head and keeps his eyes on the book as if he didn’t even hear Kai. “Dick,” he mutters after a beat and Kai smirks to himself as he proceeds to the stairs.

Upon reaching the room, he takes his shirt off and rummages through his wardrobe for a t-shirt. He stops for a moment and crouches to the floor. He drags the small trunk at the bottom of the wardrobe out and opens it. A faint smile takes form on his face when he inspects the trunk’s content.

It was weird. So weird when Sehun started giving him things. Not frogs in a box or sprigs of poison ivy as he used to, but actual nice things. It scared the wits out of Kai and for weeks, Kai had thought something had possessed Sehun or Sehun was plotting Kai’s destruction and being nice was part of his evil plot. Honestly, Sehun was creeping him out with all the sudden detailed niceties and politeness. And then one day, it all just stopped. Sehun just stopped acknowledging Kai’s existence.

He pulls out the muffler Sehun got him one day and smiles at it. Of course, Kai had tossed it into the trash to annoy Sehun. Kai has a serious problem, ask anyone.

He sighs and fishes out the dry daisies. Kai woke up with daisies on his bedside table one day and he thought Sehun had did some voodoo shit with the flowers, so he threw them away. That was the first time he had ever seen Sehun frown so miserably. Kai retrieved the daisies from the trash when Sehun was asleep that night.

All that Kai had given him was a powder brush to insult him.

He surveys the mixtape Sehun gave him and lets out a heavy breath before locking the trunk and stashes it in the wardrobe again. He should really take a quick shower and sleep because watching Sehun sleep is the most torturous thing in this world next to seeing Sehun step out of the bathroom after a bath and without a shirt.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The ninth bell tolls and Kai is still sitting on the bed like a monkey waiting for a treat. He feels ridiculous, staring endlessly at the door. He should sleep, but he couldn’t. Sehun still isn’t back. Kai licks his lips and glances out the window. The sky has already blackened outside.

“God, what do I care?” he mutters to himself and collapses onto the bed. He clenches his eyes shut only to crack them open again. He jolts upright and ferociously groans as he hurries off the bed.

Pulling a pair of jeans over the boxers, he storms out of the room barefooted. He marches straight to Kris’ room and slams his fist onto the door.

“Jesus Christ, who the hell—” Kris snaps when the door springs open. He looks so exhausted and unbelievably angry. “What?” he spits.

Kai spots Shixun in the room as well. His face is red and he’s also sporting a murderous scowl. They must have been fighting again. They fight as much as they suck each other’s faces off. “Shixun, did you see your brother?”

“No,” he says grimly. “Why?”

Kai shakes his head and scans Kris from top to bottom. “No, nothing.” With a pat on Kris’ chest, he leaves them alone. Sehun might be in Chanyeol’s room or maybe Baekhyun’s, but he’s supposed to be back in his own room before the ninth bell. God, he’s a total pain in the ass.

Kai hurtles down the stairs without his shoes and stops at the second floor. He tries working on an excuse in case Sehun is with Chanyeol or Baekhyun. _“Hey, neighbour. Was wondering if I could have a cup of sugar.”_

Kai rolls his eyes at himself. He sucks in a deep breath and knocks on the door. He thinks this is Chanyeol’s room. Baekhyun’s must be on the opposite end.

Chanyeol opens the door. “Kai?” he gasps with full, round eyes. His hair is damp and he’s not wearing any shirt. It’s really frustrating because Kai always has to block his mind whenever he’s around Chanyeol or Gwenna. He rooms with Kyungsoo and the boy is silently reading on his bed. “Whoa, what are you doing here?”

“Is Se… Sehun here?” Kai asks.

Chanyeol looks confused as he shakes his head. “No, why?”

That’s when Kai notices Baekhyun perched on the other bed with a platter of grapes in his hands. “Do you,” Kai returns his gaze to Chanyeol as his heart starts to hammer against his chest. “Know where he is?”

“No. He isn’t in your room? We all came back to the dorm together hours ago.”

Kai doesn’t even bother to reply or waste another second as he bursts into a sprint towards the stairs. He slurs out a string of curses as he leaps down the steps with his bare feet and races across the corridor when he reaches the ground. He runs as fast as his feet can take him and his lungs sobs for air. His Superhuman Agility Flair allows him a stunning stamina and speed.

He looks for the warden, but the man is nowhere to be seen. He sprints towards his mother’s office, hoping she’s still in school, but the chances are very slim.

He comes to an abrupt halt when he hears the subtle cacophony of chuckles. Panting for air, his chest heaves and he runs in the direction of the laughter. He slows down when he spots the group of the seniors of the Higher Institution of FLAC and amid them is Sehun, wearing a belligerent glower and a ‘ _be patient’_ expression as he is pressed against a wall.

“Why not you run to your mommy and tell her that we’re picking on her precious little blonde boy,” one of the seniors says and a thundering laughter follows. Kai starts towards them in slow strides. “While you’re at it, why not you she sucks your daddy’s cock?”

That does it.

Sehun’s hand flies up. A bitter, knifing wind surrounds them out of the blue. “How about _you_ tell _your_ mommy that you got your ass kicked by this precious little blonde boy?” Sehun spits and the wind turns so cold that it begins to blister Kai’s skin.

The senior knuckles turn blue before the fist turns into grey marble. He raises his transformed hand to Sehun’s neck and that’s when Kai steps in. No one bullies Sehun except him.

He catches the senior’s wrist and begins to twist it. “Kai,” the senior grunts out in shock and Kai slams his head into the senior’s face, sending him staggering back before he drops to the ground. Blood starts to ooze from the senior’s nose and the man looks like he might pass out.

“What the hell are you doing?! Stop!” Sehun shouts, grabbing Kai’s shoulder from behind and he shoves Kai back. “You seriously think I need _your_ help, you good-for-nothing jackass?!” he yells as the seniors scurry away. “You’re a deranged bastard!” he shoves Kai back again by the chest and picks up his backpack from the ground before he starts jogging towards their dorm.

“Well, you’re welcome!” Kai calls after him and Sehun sticks up his middle finger without looking back.


	5. So close... So dumb...

“All these bloody projects,” Chanyeol groans as he plates some potato gratin. Sehun grabs himself a knob of boiled carrot and some shrimps. “I’m not sure how they’re supposed to help us become better Flairers.”

“It’s supposed to help you become a better human being,” Baekhyun says, dribbling some gravy over his fish fillet. “So that we don’t turn out to be dumbass Flairers with zero IQ.”

Sehun looks to his taller friend and smiles at Chanyeol’s perturbed expression. He says he never reads Baekhyun’s mind on purpose, but Sehun is sure Chanyeol does it way more often than he likes to admit. And Sehun kind of has an idea of what Baekhyun thinks whenever Chanyeol is around.

After grabbing their dinner, they wend their way to the tables. It was hard in the beginning to hang around with Chanyeol without reminiscing all the good _and_ bad moments he had shared with him. But Sehun understood his destiny included being friends with Chanyeol and that’s why they’re friends even now. But this time, Sehun plans on not screwing things up with Chanyeol, which is why he sometimes tries to give Chanyeol a little nudge towards Baekhyun. Baekhyun is also apparently too stubborn to ask Chanyeol out.

It’s their business and Sehun tries his best to not to interfere. These days, he never interferes with anything. Sehun has seen far too much to be bothered by such trivial matters.

He spots Shixun sitting alone at a table with his books spread all over the table. Arching an eyebrow, Sehun scans the hall for Kris and locates him at his usual table, casually laughing and chattering with his clique. That’s shocking. Sehun walks over to Shixun and takes his seat on the bench. Shixun doesn’t acknowledge Sehun’s presence. Chanyeol takes his seat beside Sehun, but Baekhyun settles at the table nearby, which is probably a good idea considering how much Shixun hates Baekhyun’s guts.

“Hey, Shixun,” Chanyeol says with a dopey smile on his face.

Shixun glances up. His eyes are swollen and there are dark circles around them. Sehun wonders if he’s been studying all night or crying all night. “Hey, Chanyeol,” Shixun mutters and drops his attention back to the book he’s reading.

Sehun notices how Chanyeol’s face wilts. He must know what’s up with Shixun. “Kris and you fighting again, huh?” Chanyeol says, spooning the gratin as Sehun digs in. Oh, so that’s what’s going on.

“It’s really none of your business,” Shixun keeps his voice and eyes low. Chanyeol shrugs at Sehun. Then letting out a sigh, Shixun brings his head up. “Sorry. I’m not in the mood.”

“I know.”

“Don’t read my mind,” Shixun sighs again.

“I’m not. I don’t have to,” Chanyeol smirks. “Well, I hope things work out for the better.”

Shixun’s eyes flits to Kris for a very brief moment and his face tiredly falls sullen again. Sehun wants to get closer to Shixun, but it seems like they’ve always had a strained relationship that Shixun is just too distant from him. “What happened?” Sehun decides to ask anyway.

Shixun faces his brother and looks a little surprised. Just a little. “Do you care?” he scoffs.

“I do,” Chanyeol replies with a gentle smile. “Tell me if you need jaw broken.”

Shixun cocks a brow as an amused smile finally forms on his face. “Really? You’d break his jaw for me?”

“Well… no. But I know some people who _would_ if I pay them a handsome amount of money.”

That surprises a laugh out of Shixun. “That’s generous of you to offer.”

“So, what happened?”

“Nothing,” he lowers his head. “Oh, yeah, Sehun. Dad called. He said he’ll pick us up at seven on Friday.”

Sehun blinks vacantly, masticating the shrimps in his mouth. “What? Why?”

Shixun pins him a ridiculous look. “What do you mean why?”

“Are we going home this weekend?”

“Don’t tell me you forgot about our mother’s birthday.”

Sehun swallows hard. “Oh… No, of course I didn’t forget…”

“It’s Grace’s birthday?” Chanyeol asks.

“Yeah,” Sehun likes the way Shixun is smiling at Chanyeol. Hell, he likes seeing Shixun smile at someone other than Kris or the teachers. “You could come if you can get your parents’ permission.”

“Nah, it’s too much hassle,” Chanyeol hands Shixun the juice box he had gotten for himself. Shixun accepts it with a grateful smile before he pokes the straw into it and starts sipping. “So is she celebrating with Gwen?”

“Yes, it’s gonna be a huge party at the family mansion.”

“Family mansion?” Sehun blurts out. He doesn’t know what the family mansion is. He has only been to his parents’ country house. “Would… everyone be there?”

Shixun looks like he doesn’t understand Sehun’s question. “Yes, Sehun. Everyone will be there. Why are you asking me questions you already know the answers to?”

Sehun falls silent. Kai will be there, then. It’s been torture enough trying to avoid him all week after what had happened earlier this week when Kai bludgeoned the face of that senior. His hatred for him grew even more after that. For a pretty solid reason, Kai likes showing off. He wasn’t trying to save Sehun’s butt from the seniors or anything because he knows he doesn’t need to. Sehun is capable of saving his own butt. He just didn’t do anything because he would be caught for being out of the dorm after the ninth bell. He had fallen asleep in the library and got held back by the seniors. It was totally unnecessary for Kai to show Sehun that he’s the big kahuna here. Kai is just a disturbed, psychotic lunatic.

They have been trying to dodge each other ever since and Sehun stays away from the dorm as much as he could, although he couldn’t escape Kai during the classes or assemblies.

“So, Shixun,” Chanyeol calls after wiping his plate clean. “Will you… be going to the Halloween ball?”

“Isn’t that like in four months or something?”

“Yeah, but… if you’re going, would you want to… go with me?” Chanyeol keeps the tone and the mood incredibly light like it doesn’t even mean a thing. Sehun almost chokes on the carrot. “Only if you’re still fighting with Kris.”

Shixun laughs. “Very funny. My family celebrates Halloween in its own weird way, so I won’t be here.”

“Ah, dang it,” Chanyeol shrugs coolly and Sehun couldn’t take his ballooned eyes off him.

“Shixun,” Kris’ voice booms at the table out of the sudden. “Hey,” he grabs hold of Shixun’s arm. Shixun’s eyebrows furrow into a furious scowl as he rips his arm free from Kris’ grip. “Hey, come on,” Kris sighs as Shixun slams his books close and picks them up. “Can we just talk?”

“No,” Shixun spits and jolts up to his feet, hugging his books to his chest.

“Baby, come on. You can’t keep ignoring me forever.” Kris is frowning, but not in the gravely serious way, but in the nonchalant, helpless way.

“Watch me,” he shoves past Kris and storms out of the feast hall.

“For _fuck’s_ sake,” Kris hisses and runs after him. Chanyeol grabs the juice box Shixun was drinking from and takes a long sip of the mango juice.

 

~*~

 

Sehun pushes the door open as quiet as he can. It’s past midnight, Kai should have fallen asleep if he’s back. He hasn’t seen Kai all day, not even in the classes. He finds Kai in the darkness, settled in his bed and snoring softly. It’s nice to hear his heavy pace of breathing at nights. Sometimes, it lulls Sehun to sleep. If only Kai isn’t such a huge asshole, Sehun might actually find it appealing.

He tosses his backpack onto the desk and grabs his boxer shorts along with a t-shirt before he steps into the bathroom. When he steps out after taking a quiet, brief shower, he slips into the bed and turns his back to Kai. He looks out the opened window and shudders when the cold wind blows in. He waves his hand at it and the window shuts with the help of the wind’s force.

Letting out a heavy breath, Sehun pulls the blanket over his body and clenches his eyes tight. He’s pretty bushed. The CDA class has been horrible today, but definitely it’s a nicer class without Kai as its master. A thousand memories come surging into Sehun’s mind and he helplessly smiles, reminiscing every single one of them. Like that one time when Kai hurled him into the mud puddle and Sehun rubbed the mud all over Kai. Or the time when Kai kissed him for the first time.

He lets the unconsciousness take him.

And that’s when he hears the vicious whimper and his eyes fly open. Sehun jolts up to a sitting position and glances to Kai in horror. Sometimes, Kai has nightmares and he slurs, moans and gasps. But tonight, it sounds like he’s almost crying or screaming.

“Urghh,” Kai grunts out, twitching in his bed. Sehun grits his teeth as he watches him. He wonders what he’s dreaming about. Kai groans as though he’s in pain. Sehun has never heard him make so much noise before, although he has nightmares quite often. “Nnn… No.” he whimpers again. He tosses and cries for minutes.

Sehun, finally unable to take it, gets off his bed and crosses the narrow gap between their beds. “Hey?” he whispers.

Even in the darkness, Sehun can see the thick coat of sweat sheening on Kai’s shirtless body. It’s another torture Sehun has to go through. Kai often likes to sleep in nothing but his tight boxers. Kai is clenching his jaw so powerfully that he might hurt it and his eyebrows are knitted into a scowl. His fists are clutching the sheets and a sweat bead trickles down his temple.

“Jesus Christ,” Sehun breathes out and brings a knee up to the edge of the bed before he leans forward. He notices the small prints of tattoos on the insides of Kai’s wrists, near the hilts of his palms. On the right wrist, the tattoo reads, ‘धरण ध’ and on the left, ‘जैत्र’. Sehun wonders if it’s Sanskrit. “Hey,” he calls again, raising a hesitant hand to Kai’s shoulder. It’s damp and cold under Sehun’s palm. Sehun gives it a good squeeze and shakes it. “Hey! Wake up!”

That instant, when Kai’s eyes fling open, Sehun almost jumps with a start, but he couldn’t when Kai’s hand flies up and brutally catches Sehun’s wrist. Sehun hisses at the painful grip, it feels like Kai is crushing his bones there. Then with a murderous tug of the wrist, Kai yanks Sehun forward and Sehun falls against his sweat-slicked, heaving chest. Sehun lets out a struggled moan as Kai pants heavily.

They freeze for a moment. Kai’s grip is still firm and painful around Sehun’s wrist as he catches his breath. Sehun lets him regain his sanity and consciousness as he remains still on top of Kai’s bare, hot chest. He stares into Kai’s terrified, angry eyes and holds his gaze while Kai’s breathing softly calms down. Sehun finds himself in Kai’s eyes and he melts on Kai. His gaze turns languid and exhausted when he realizes he recognizes the eyes and the gaze. Kai’s lips are parted and his hair is soaked with sweat.

Sehun shivers and chokes back on a whimper when he feels Kai’s free hand slither into his shirt and caress his back. That is when Sehun pulls his wrist free and the back of his hand slams into the side of Kai’s face. He shoots up from the bed and scowls at Kai. “What are you doing?” he snaps.

Kai rubs his cheek, grimacing as he groans and sits up. “What the hell?” he blinks his eyes vigorously and passes Sehun a glower. “What am I doing? What are _you_ doing?”

Sehun’s face heats and he feels the blood fill his cheeks. “I… I wasn’t… doing anything. You were making so much noise. Were you having a nightmare?”

The corner of Kai’s lips lifts and he smugly smiles. “Oh, Asherton. If you want to share the bed, all you have to do is ask nice.”

Sehun wants to hurl the lamp on the desk at Kai’s head. “Forget about it,” he spits under his breath and returns to his bed. Kai lets out a loud breath and scrubs his face with his palms as Sehun sits up on the edge of his bed. “You have a lot of nightmares.”

“Yeah. No one said rooming with you is a delight.”

Sehun grinds his teeth. “Why do I even bother?” he lies down.

Kai slides out of his bed and walks over to the wardrobe. Sehun bites his tongue, trying to keep his eyes to himself. Kai is a shameless bastard. He pulls a pair of sweatpants over his skin-tight boxers.

“What do the tattoos on your wrists mean?” Sehun asks because his head will explode if he doesn’t find out what Kai’s interests are. God, Sehun should learn to shut his mouth. But Kai doesn’t seem so mean tonight.

He cards his fingers through his hair and Sehun watches his back muscles flex. He then turns around and faces Sehun, briefly glancing to his right wrist. “This one means I eat,” he lifts his left wrist. “This one means big pussies.”

Sehun stares at him.

Kai smirks and pulls a hoodie on before he storms out of the room.

* * *

 

 

 

 

He wants to slam his head into a wall. What had he almost done? Kai descends down the stairs with his heart pounding in his chest. Sehun was close to him. So close. Does Sehun even realize what Kai would have done to him if he hadn’t slapped him back to reality? Does Sehun realize that Kai wanted to flop him onto the bed and rip his clothes off right there and then? Does Sehun even fucking realize that Kai would have kissed him if he hadn’t pulled away?

Kai hopes to heaven that Sehun doesn’t.

He stops at the bottom of the stairs of the tower and flumps on a step. The nightmare had been the worst one thus far. He couldn’t escape the darkness no matter how much he ran.

Kai buries his face in his palms and rubs it before exhaling a huge sigh. He looks at the tattoos on his wrists which he rarely notices because he always wears a watch on one wrist and a leather wristband on the other. It’s a stupid thing that he had done on his sixteenth birthday. Oh, how much he’d love to erase them off.

‘धरण ध’ is Sanskrit for ‘World’ and ‘Virtue’ or ‘Merit’.

‘जैत्र’ is Sanskrit for ‘Victory’.

He was dumb.

So dumb.

He had the meaning of Sehun’s name tattooed on one wrist and the meaning of his own name tattooed on the other. He’s a complete fool, whom Sehun will never think of for even a second, let alone let him into his heart.

Kai leans his head against the wall and tries to avert his attention to the birthday party this weekend. He should get Grace and Gwenna something nice. He likes them, although he isn’t too fond of their husbands or their children.


	6. Reasons. Lots of Them.

The entire journey to the mansion has been extremely frustrating. Sehun tries to keep a subtle tone whenever he is forced to speak. He doesn’t really know anything about this family mansion before Shixun had mentioned it and he has been avoiding everyone except Gwenna for the past two months. Gwenna visited him once at FLAC to explain some stuff about their family now, and all that Sehun understood was that he needs to be careful. Especially his mother, Grace shouldn’t know anything about this. It’s been really difficult trying to avoid his mother since she talks to Shixun on a weekly basis on the school’s student telephone. For some odd reason, Sehun couldn’t quite sit with the fact that he has a proper family now. He has to accept these people. He has to pretend like he has been living with them his whole life. Well, he practically has been living with them his whole life. Gwenna says the body is still the same. Sehun is still Sehun. It is his mind, his soul. He just needs to seek a little deeper to unlock the memories stored in his brain, but Sehun hasn’t exactly been focusing too much on that ever since he got back to FLAC.

Faiion whistles a cheery tune as he drives the car around and up a hill. Accepting Faiion as his father has been the toughest. The man is intimidating, strong, buff and definitely powerful. But Faiion has always been benign to his family, Sehun supposes. He doesn’t look like the man who’d destroy someone’s livelihood out of vexation. He’s a good man, a wonderful father and Sehun can tell he’s been a great husband. What Sehun is more curious about is how Faiion and Grace ended up together instead of Faiion and Gwenna since they had been childhood lovers in Grace’s other destiny. That is the only reason Sehun and Shixun are still existing.

The mansion sitting at the top of the mountain is monumental and could probably fit half of the human population in it.

“So,” his father mutters out of the sudden and Sehun turns his head to face the man. “When did you colour your hair?” he smirks.

He runs his hand reflexively through his hair. “Uh… Some weeks ago.”

Faiion’s smirk widens into a full-fledged smile. “It’s nice.”

Sehun smiles back. “Thanks… Dad.”

“Why don’t you colour yours blonde too, Shixun?” Faiion asks, glancing at Shixun, who’s sitting at the backseat, through the rear view mirror. Shixun doesn’t answer as he keeps his sombre gaze out the window. He looks miserable and Sehun lets out a soft sigh, hoping that whatever this squabble he’s having with Kris is about will end soon. “Shixun?”

Shixun tears his gaze from the window and looks to Sehun. “Huh? What?” he asks in a raspy whisper.

Their father’s eyes narrow as he notices Shixun’s bloodshot eyes in the mirror. “Are you okay, son? You’ve been awfully quiet all the way.”

Shixun slowly shakes his head and returns his eyes to the window. “I’m fine.”

Faiion tosses Sehun a sidelong glance. Sehun shrugs and looks back at his brother again. So this is how people feel when they have a trivial fight with their boyfriend? Sehun doesn’t recall ever feeling this miserable whenever he had a row with Kai. And they had even worse dissensions. But then again, they had just started when everything ended. Shixun and Kris have had each other since they were so young.

When Faiion pulls over, Sehun gapes at the mansion before them. It looks like it’s been here forever. He wonders how old the mansion is. “All right,” Faiion grunts and exits the car. Sehun follows suit. He didn’t know if he’s supposed to bring along his stuff, so he had lightly packed a couple of shirts and his toothbrush, but Shixun only brought his books along.

Sehun grabs his backpack as Shixun silently walks into the mansion without waiting for them.

“Sehun,” his father calls with a gentle hand on Sehun’s shoulder as Sehun starts towards the door.

“Yeah, Dad?”

“What’s wrong with your brother?” Faiion looks concerned, if not bothered.

“Uh… He’s… I think he and Kris are not talking to each other.”

Faiion almost rolls his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh. He claps his hand on Sehun’s back as he ushers his son into the house. “That’s a relief. Lovers’ quarrel. Is that all?”

“Insofar, yes. They’ve been fighting over something for a week now,” Sehun says and trails off when he enters the foyer. Everything is made of dark wood with drapes and carpets adorning the hallway. It has the interior of a Victorian house. It’s lavish and every wall screams wealth and power. “Wow,” he breathes out, gawking at the house. Now he understands why it’s called the family mansion. It must have been here for ages, but nothing looks old per se.

“Talk to him, will you?” his father says, squeezing Sehun’s shoulder. “You know how he is.”

Sehun doesn’t. But he nods his head. He doubts Shixun wants to even talk about it to him. “I will.”

“Great. Go wash up and come down for dinner. And please, get Shixun down as well. I don’t care if he’s moping over his good-for-nothing boyfriend, but he isn’t gonna starve himself as long as he’s living under my roof,” he tosses his keys onto the sideboard in the hallway and jogs up the stairs.

Sehun exhales a heavy breath and looks around for a moment. He definitely didn’t know his family is this well-heeled. It seems like Faiion and the others are pretty loaded. Well, Dillan does own an entire school. Grace and Faiion are high representatives at the ministry, but it seems like they already have enough money to feed ten generations. Sehun isn’t too sure about what Allis does—he doesn’t really know anything about Allis. He’s only met her once.

“Sehun!” a voice booms into the hallway and Sehun spins around to see Grace hurtle down the stairs with a Cheshire grin etched on her face.

“Mom,” Sehun smiles and walks over to her.

“Jesus Christ, you’ve gone thin,” she gasps as she pulls him into an embrace. Sehun curls his arms around her slender waist and presses his face on her shoulder, into her auburn hair. It smells flowery. “Why do you never call, Sehun?” she is scowling now as Sehun pulls back from the hug.

“Uh… I’ve been busy, Mom.”

“Since when did you become busier than Shixun?” she cocks an eyebrow as though she can see right through Sehun. “No matter. Have you eaten?” she clasps her hands to the sides of Sehun’s face.

“I have, Mom. I’m fine. Really.”

“Where’s Shixun?” she glances past Sehun’s shoulder and blinks.

“Sehun,” he hears Gwenna’s voice as she descends down the stairs in a more poise manner than Grace. It seems as though Grace is just so much wilder and adventurous than Gwenna. She’s also a little jumpy and chatty. Gwenna gives Sehun a much gentler hug and pulls away with a smile. “How have you been?”

“Great,” Sehun beams.

“And Shixun?”

“I think he’s already gone to his room,” Grace says excitedly. “Have you been washing your clothes, Sehun?” she hooks an arm around Sehun and hauls him towards the stairs.

“Yes, I have.”

“And Shixun?”

“I think he has, too. Where’s everyone?”

“Oh, only Xiomara’s here. Dillan will show up with her family later and hopefully Allis can make it here by tomorrow. Why not you go clean up and I’ll get you and your brother something to eat?”

Sehun nods his head. “That’ll be great, thanks, Mom.”

Grace’s eyes widen a little and she chuckles. “Since when do you thank me?” she doesn’t wait for a reply as she hurries away.

Licking his lips, Sehun turns to Gwenna. “Can you… show me where my room is?”

Gwenna smirks and leads the way up the staircase. “How has things been really, Sehun?”

Sehun knows she doesn’t need to ask him since she can just read his mind or at least, she practically just knows about everything about everyone. “It hasn’t been that great, actually,” he admits.

“You know, sometimes when you stop trying so hard, things you want do happen.”

Sehun stares at her when they reach the top of the stairs. There’s at least four floors in the mansion when he looks up the stairwell. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says as he follows her through the hallway.

“Oh, I think you do,” she sneers elegantly. “All I’m saying is don’t try too hard. You are blessed with this life and trust me, you will have all the happiness you deserve.”

That makes Sehun laugh. “Well, what if I don’t deserve any happiness?”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see that for ourselves.” She stops before a door. “There will be a big party tomorrow evening. A lot of people you’re _supposed_ to know will be here, so I suggest you stick by me as much as you can.”

Sehun rubs the back of his neck. “Thanks, Aunt Gwenna.”

When he enters the room, he finds Shixun curled into a ball on one of the king-sized beds with earphones on. Sehun takes a moment to swallow the sight before him. The room looks like some kind of a royal chamber and Sehun gulps, walking over to the vacant bed. There is blanket made of velvet and the maroon sheets are made of silk. Sehun wonders if his great-great-great grandfather actually owned all of this place.

He chucks his backpack on the bed and looks in Shixun’s way. “Hey, Shixun?” Sehun calls and Shixun opens his eyes before he sits up and pulls his earphones off.

“What?” he leans back against the headboard and trades the iPod for a book.

“You okay?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” he snaps, glaring at Sehun.

Sehun perches on the bed. “Well, because you look like your dog died.”

Shixun’s scowl deepens. “First of all, I don’t like dogs. Secondly, why are you even pretending like you care?”

“I _do_ care.”

“Since when?” he scoffs and rolls his eyes.

Sehun keeps his gaze on his brother for a moment before heaving a sigh. “All right. I care now. If you need to talk or anything, I’m always there for you.”

Shixun wordlessly stares at Sehun with pure scepticism sheening his eyes. Then he pulls his knees closer to his chest and hugs them. “Did something happen to you?”

“What?” Sehun tries to keep his expression neutral. “Why would you think so?”

Shixun shrugs. “I don’t know. You just seem… different nowadays. More reserved and definitely quieter. Did you… make some resolution to be less of an ass this year?”

Sehun chuckles. “Well, yeah. Something like that. So help me out here. I wanna be a nicer person. What’s up with you and Kris?”

Shixun throws his head back against the headrest and lets out an audible, loud sigh. “I’m not sure, to be completely honest. I think he’s… breaking up with me.”

“Why would he?”

“I don’t know,” he mutters. “I mean, if you were with one person for so long, you tend to get bored of them, right?”

Sehun blinks. “I certainly don’t believe so.”

“Well, guys like Kris do.”

“You don’t really know that, Shixun.”

“I know that, Sehun. I know Kris. I know him like no one else does. And right now, I know that he’s bored of me.”

Sehun rises to his feet and crosses the wide space between them. He takes his seat at the foot of Shixun’s bed. “Did you… tell him that?”

“I did. I asked him what he wants, too. And he said he wants me to stop ‘clinging’ onto him like a parasite.”

Sehun’s eyes bulge out. “Did he really say that?”

“I mean, we were pretty irritated. And he was just as mad as I was. He says it’s totally normal for him to look at other people because it’s not really considered _cheating_ ,” Shixun’s eyes brims with tears as he speaks. “I just… I don’t know what I’ll do if he breaks up with me. It feels like I’ve been with him all my life.”

Sehun scoots a little closer and cups Shixun’s knee. “Hey, I’m sure he just said all those things out of anger. No one says completely sane stuff when they’re mad.”

Shixun frowns. “I guess, but… he made it pretty clear that he doesn’t care about how I feel when he says those kinds of stuff.”

Sehun wishes he knew what to say. He really doesn’t know how to console his brother because after all, Sehun has been a total failure in this sort of matter himself. “Shixun,” he lets out after a moment. “Do you believe in soulmates?”

Shixun snorts and sniggers. “What? You’re gonna tell me about fairies and pixie dust next?”

“No. All that I’m saying is that if you’re both meant to be, you will be. So… don’t try too hard,” the words roll off his tongue unconsciously and Sehun falls silent with the words echoing in his own head. Does he believe that himself?

Shixun looks away, his arms tightening around his legs. “He’s gonna be here.”

“Yeah and so will his prick of a brother,” Sehun shoots up to his feet and searches the room for the bathroom.

“What’s with you and Kai nowadays anyway?” Shixun is grinning again. “There used to be so much fire between you two. Like bulls with locked horns. You guys are boring now.”

Sehun opens door and inspects it. It’s not a bathroom. It’s a huge closet, filled to the brim with clothes and shoes. “I guess I got tired,” he says and grabs himself a white shirt, black slacks and a pair of boxers. They must be his or Shixun’s. “Can I use the bathroom first?” he opens the other door in the corner, which happens to be the bathroom.

“Sure,” Shixun smiles smugly.

* * *

 

 

 

“You said what?!” Kai rasps under his breath as he falls behind his parents and Mark. Kris locks the car’s door and slings his bag over his shoulder. He faces Kai with a miserable expression of guilt.

“I know. I was stupid.”

Kai wants to slam his brother’s face with a door. “Stupid? You’re a colossal jerk, brother,” he says, shaking his head.

“Stop, Kai,” Kris frowns. “I already feel like shit. You have no idea how hard he bit my lip when I tried to calm him down. He said he’ll make me drown in a flipping Tsunami if I ever touched him again.”

Kai automatically looks to the healed cut on Kris’ lower lip. “Oh, so that’s where that’s from.”

Kai normally doesn’t give half a damn about Kris and Shixun’s relationship, but this time, it seems pretty serious. Mostly because Kai knows Kris has his eyes wandering everywhere when there’s a cute boy around. It’s not like he pities Shixun or anything. But even seeing Kris without Shixun or anything related to him is odd and uncomfortable. Truth be told, Kris has always been closer to Shixun than he ever was with his own brothers. So it’ll be a little weird if they’re suddenly separated.

“You’re an idiot, man,” Kai whispers when they walk up to Mark, who’s still standing in the doorway after their parents had entered. Mark looks to Kris with a dubious expression.

“Why is he an idiot?” he asks.

“Oh, he called Shixun a parasite that’s clinging onto him and a leech that’s sucking his blood. So now it’s gonna be awkward for them to be in the same house.”

 Kris passes Kai a grim scowl and faces their older brother who is scowling at Kris in horror. “What the hell happened for you to say such foul things about that boy?” Mark growls, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I don’t know, okay?! I don’t know. He was making a fuss over nothing and I flipped!” Kris yawps. Kai already hear giggles and chatters inside.

Mark shakes his head in disappointment and saunters into the mansion. “Dramatic kids,” he hisses.

“He’s talking to you, Kris.” Kai scoffs at Kris and walks in. He comes to a halt before the mirror and runs his fingers through his hair, flipping it back and neatening it. He takes his shades off and straightens his navy blue shirt before tucking it neatly into his faded blue jeans. Hopefully, Sehun will look sloppier than him. The mansion is three times bigger than his own home and for some odd reason, Kai hates coming here. And of course, all the fucking celebrations have to be held here. The mansion is as old as it looks from the outside. It belonged to some governor centuries ago and Grace and Gwenna’s grandfather had purchased it from the governor. It was passed down to Faiion when he married Grace since Grace’s father had disappeared many decades ago. Although it belongs to Faiion and his family, this is sort of like the home for the Recherchés.

In short, this place is overrated and ancient.

Kai stops in the hallway when he sees his mother and father cheerily greeting Grace, Faiion, Gwenna and her husband, Dezmond. Kai doesn’t like that guy. If there’s anyone who hates him more than Faiion, it’s Dezmond. Mostly because he thinks his daughter has a major crush on Kai.

Well, he has nothing to worry about because Kai can vouch that Xiomara isn’t his… type.

“Ah, there’s Kris!” Grace chimes and hurries forward. “And Kai,” she greets him with a gentle smile.

“Hey, Grace,” Kai and Kris mutter as she gives them both a hug.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you two. Kris, at least you should come around often.” Of course, because she already thinks of Kris as her son-in-law.

Kai bows his head and tries to smile at Gwenna who is staring at him. That’s when a sudden weight pounces on his back and Kai lurches forward. “Kai!” Xiomara screams into his ear, jumping on his back and wraps her arms and legs around him.

“Jesus Christ!” Kai grunts out, grabbing onto her thighs to hold her up. He notices Dezmond’s eyes narrow into a glower.

Xiomara gets down and throws herself onto Kai to hug him. “I missed you!”

“Me too, kiddo,” Kai pulls back and flashes her a toothy grin. Xiomara is probably the most spoiled child in the family as she is the only girl. And Kai loves spoiling her the most. He knows she’s just a couple of years younger than him, but still, she’s just so much smaller than him that he couldn’t help but see her as a child.

Xiomara is the reason Kai hates Sehun so much. Well, she’s the reason why they started to dislike each other.

“Do you guys want to wash up or shall we all eat first?” Gwenna asks.

“Let’s all eat,” Kai’s father says. “I’m famished.”

“Xi, can you go get Sehun and Shixun down for dinner?” Gwenna turns to Xiomara who groans in return.

“Why me?”

“Actually, why don’t I do it?” Kai offers. “I want to change into something more comfortable first anyway.”

Gwenna stares at him again and then smiles. “Sure.”

Sighing loudly, Kris starts to follow the others towards the dining hall. “I’m hungry as hell.”

Kai catches his arm. “You’re coming with me,” he hisses in a whisper and Kris frowns at him before Kai starts to haul him up the stairs.

“Kai—”

“You’re gonna apologize and then make up with him, get it?”

“For fuck’s sake, why should I always be the one to apologize?!”

“Because _you_ bloody called him a parasite and a leech!” Kai snaps at him, tightening his grip around Kris’ elbow.

“Why? Why do you suddenly care so much about us?!”

“I don’t. I just don’t want to hear you whine about it all the damn time. It’s annoying.”

Kai might know how Shixun must feel. He has an idea of it at least. Kai has never experienced a break-up of any sorts. Hell, he hasn’t even kissed anyone in his life. So he can’t speak for Shixun. But he sure as fuck knows how it feels to fail in love. And honestly, Shixun is the best thing that will ever happen to Kris.

He stops before the twins’ room and knocks on the door. “Kai,” Kris mumbles with a pained look.

Kai releases Kris’ arm when the door springs open. Sehun’s eyes pop out as his lips part. Kai wants to let out a breath in awe and just stare at Sehun all night long. He’s wearing a white shirt with black pants and has his wet hair swept all the way back. Yeah, he isn’t sloppy. Darn it.

Without saying a word and wearing a scowl, Kai aggressively grabs Sehun’s arm and yanks him out. “Fucking sort it out,” he shoves Kris into the room and slams the door shut.

“What the heck are you doing?” Sehun yelps furiously and pulls his arm free from Kai’s grip.

“Nice to see you, too,” Kai briefly flashes a smirk. “You were summoned down for dinner, Your Highness.”

“God, I can’t believe I have to see you here, too.” He makes a low guttural noise and dramatically glances away, folding his arms over his chest.

“The feelings are quite mutual, Asherton,” Kai scoffs and starts towards the staircase. Kai isn’t generally a dick. He’s a dick to Sehun. Well, mostly to Sehun. He stops at the top of the stairs and stares at the door in the end of the hallway for a moment. A shudder surges through his body as his nightmares flash before his eyes. The door has always been locked and Kai has tried several times to open it, but to no avail. All that he knows is that whatever that’s behind that door oozes a macabre darkness that Kai is often haunted by.

“Are you okay?” Sehun’s voice snaps him back to reality and he turns his head to meet Sehun’s half concerned gaze. Kai’s sure he’s just mocking him. Oh, but how he wishes for that concern for him to be real. “Kai?”

“You’ve got something on your face.”

“What?” Sehun blinks blankly and brings his fingers to his cheeks. “What is it?”

“Stupidity. You can’t wipe that away.” Kai lets out a laugh and starts down the stairs.

Kai has reasons. Lots of them.

Why Kai hates Sehun?

Sehun’s an arrogant, annoying little bitch.

How Kai started to hate him?

He was 8 and Sehun was 7 when Sehun proudly walked over to Kai and told him that baby Xiomara loves him more. Of course, Kai argued back and told him Xiomara loved _him_ more. The argument dragged on and in the end, Sehun bit Kai’s arm to win the argument before he ran away. Kai cried and embarrassed himself, obviously. It was painful.

When did Kai start to like him?

When Sehun turned 15 and turned irresistibly beautiful.

Why Kai has never been kissed before?

Kissing Sehun happens to be his only nice dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for leaving comments and kudos, guys :')


	7. Humpin’ Like Rabbits

 

Perhaps he has completely accepted the fact that this Kai is and never will be the Kai he loves. He does wonder if Kai would turn out to be the man he fell in love with, but the chances are very slim. Kai had become wrecked and everything about his was shaped because of losing Ren. Ren had been a pivotal factor of his life and now that Ren does not have any place in it, Kai will not turn out to be the man Sehun still loves and is unable to let go. Many things had happened in Kai’s life that will not happen to him in this fate. That’s a truth Sehun needs to shoulder and live with now. It would be pointless to even try to get closer to Kai when he is no longer the same. Sehun doesn’t even think he can love Kai. Not this Kai.

Somehow, Sehun ends up being the only one who has lost every ounce of his happiness. It feels as though he’s living like a walking corpse. He tries to not to _feel_ too much. He has a family, he has most of the people he wanted safe with him now. And yet, he doesn’t fit in. He is nothing but a Freak again. This is his family. But he doesn’t belong in this family. He isn’t important in this family. He understands that he was mostly invisible at the dining table while all the hype has been about Kai, Kris, Mark, Shixun and Xiomara, even though Kris and Shixun wasn’t even present at the table.

The part that breaks his heart the most is when he saw Xiomara clinging onto Kai and laughing, bantering, making fun of Kai, just as she used to with Sehun. Sehun hadn’t been selfish and he had been ready to face whatever the consequences of altering Grace’s destiny were. But now, it all just seems too much to take in. He is Faiion and Grace’s son. He couldn’t accept them as his father and mother. He is Shixun’s twin brother. He couldn’t make his brother like him even a little. It’s a life that he has to live every single day without having a clue of who he’s supposed to be. And the worst of all is that…

He’s lonely.

And to come to think of it, he actually thought he’d somehow have a happy ending.

“Would some chocolate covered strawberries turn that frown upside down?” Grace’s voice snaps him back to reality and Sehun faces her while wiping the inside of the wineglass with a towel. He settles the glass on the counter and meets his mother’s benign smile. She’s holding a tray full of frozen chocolate covered strawberries and brings one to Sehun’s mouth. Sehun takes a bite of it and picks up another wineglass. “So, what is it?” she asks and Sehun stares at her. Grace grins, placing the tray on the kitchen counter. “You’re helping me with house chores. You haven’t really been yourself lately.”

Sehun quickly shakes his head. “It’s nothing like that, Mom.”

“Really?” she cups a side of his face and forces him to meet her eyes. “Why do your eyes tell otherwise?”

Her brown eyes are keen and Sehun wonders about how much Grace loves him. Probably a lot, right? Probably as much as Sehun foster mother in the other fate, right? Maybe more? Does she love Shixun just the same? Sehun wishes he would just know all the answers.

“What’s wrong, Sehun?” Grace asks with a frown, brushing her thumb over his cheekbone.

“Nothing, Mom,” he mutters, lowering his gaze. “I’m fine.”

“Did something happen in school?” her hand drops from Sehun’s face to his chest as her frown deepens.

“It’s just… schoolwork stress, I guess,” he shrugs.

Grace smirks and leans against the kitchen counter, crossing her arms over her chest. “Is a boy that’s causing all this _schoolwork stress_?”

Sehun grips the wineglass so hard that it almost shatters. He looks to his mother with wide eyes. “No! No, Mom. No boys. Never.”

A soft chuckle escapes her lips and she claps a hand to Sehun’s arm. “I wish it was, though. How long do you plan on being single?”

“Forever, Mom.” And he means it. He puts the wineglass down and reaches for another one. The backdoor swings open and a plump, short woman hurtles in, cradling a wood in her arms. Sehun chokes on his spit when he recognizes her. “Mrs Gump!” he blurts out and tosses the towel to the counter before he lurches forward.

Mrs Gump grunts when he pounces on her, hugging her tight. “Has he been possessed?!” she rasps angrily and Sehun pulls back with a wide grin plastered to his face. He retreats silently when he sees the dubious look on Grace’s face, wiping the sheepish grin off his lips.

“Why don’t you go sleep? I can do the rest,” Grace says and Sehun nods his head. “Good night, sweetheart.” She pecks on Sehun’s forehead and Sehun smiles to himself as he wends his way to his room. He needed that. He needed that comfort. Maybe he should at least try a little to fit in.

He stops before the tall Victorian grandfather clock and sighs at the time. It’s almost twenty past midnight. He has spent the entire night in the kitchen doing dishes after dinner just to avoid the rest of the family. It was vexatious to hear everyone talk about stuff that he has no idea of. But he had learnt Kai and Mark have a great relationship. Xiomara is probably best friends with Kai. Kai’s father is a kind man who passed Sehun the salt. Dillan and Grace are best friends. Gwenna is the silent type. Her husband is quite chatty. Though he belittled Kai at every chance he got.

Sehun doesn’t go straight to his room. The entire mansion is asleep with only dim yellow lights flickering in the dark hallways. He wanders a little in those hallways, scanning the portraits of people he doesn’t even know. He wants to inspect the content behind every door he passes, but there are just too many rooms. So he saves that adventure for another day. He brings up a finger and twists the air into a snowflake. One of the tricks he picked up on recently. He flicks the snowflake to the floor and turns towards the stairs when he reaches the end of the hallway.

He stops before the door of his room and freezes as his blood run cold. For a moment there, his cheeks start to burn and his hands clench into fists. Thank God, he hadn’t barged in without knocking. He turns around and walks away from his room with his heart pounding in his throat, completely embarrassed and flushed. The back of his neck is hot and sweaty as he heads in the opposite direction of the stairs, wandering into another new hallway. He lifts a hand a little to cool the air around him so that he’d stop heating up.

* * *

 

 

It calls to him. The darkness. It speaks with him. Its sharp whisper prickles all over Kai’s skin and devours his soul a little. The darkness entraps him and chokes him until he is begging for mercy. Its breath cuts his skin as it says, ‘ _You are me. I am you. You can run and run and run, but you can’t hide.’_ There isn’t any air to breathe in. There isn’t any light to see. There isn’t any life to live. That is how the darkness feels. Kai cries for help, but no one hears him. And then, with its claws digging into his neck, it whispers, _‘Come find me, Kai.’_ There is a sudden flash of the locked door.

Kai jolts awake and shoves the duvet before he falls off the bed and drops on the floor. Completely out of breath, he sobs for air, leaning his back against the bedside table, clasping his hands to his face. He wants to scream, but he doesn’t have the energy. His night clothes and hair are drenched with his sweat. Gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw hard, Kai tries to calm his breath, convincing himself that it was just another nightmare. It’s always a nightmare. He rarely has a good dream and when he does it’s always about Sehun. He is _literally_ the boy of his dreams.

Kai takes a moment to relax and then rises to his feet. Kris isn’t in his bed. Kai glances to the door and lets out a heavy breath, running his fingers through his damp hair. He pulls his wet t-shirt off and pulls on a black hoodie without a shirt before throwing a pair of sweatpants over his boxers. He zips the hoodie halfway to his bare chest and hurries out of the room after grabbing his phone.

That is the first time he has ever dreamt of the door.

He jogs down the stairs to get to the floor below. Just when he turns into the hallway, he almost bumps into something white. His heart almost jumps out of him and he almost knocks the vase off the sideboard. The _something white_ is wearing a _white_ shirt and is bloody Sehun, who gasps

“Jesus Christ!” Kai hisses, holding a hand to his heaving chest. “You scared the fucking shit out of me!”

“Same here, oh, my God.” Sehun rasps breathlessly, grabbing the vase that Kai almost knocked down. He places the vase back on the sideboard and scowls at Kai.

“What the hell are you doing walking around at this hour?” Kai growls, annoyed as he calms down.

Sehun’s scowl turns into an embarrassed frown. “W-well… I could ask the same about you.”

Kai stares at him with irritated, narrowed eyes. “Is Kris still with Shixun?”

Sehun goes completely red and he couldn’t meet Kai’s eyes. That surprises a furious laughter out of Kai. “Shut up,” Sehun murmurs.

“Oh, my God. They’re humpin’ like rabbits, aren’t they? Did you walk in on them while they were—”

“No! I swear, I did not!” Sehun snaps, flushing hard.

Kai laughs, wondering why Sehun looks so flustered and ashamed about something that thousands of people already know about. “Why are you blushing like a virgin, Asherton?” he brushes past Sehun and struts towards the end of the hallway where the locked door is. “Wait… You’re not a virgin, are you?” Kai keeps the tone light as if to mock him, but his heart starts hammering a little.

Sehun is quiet for a moment before he replies, “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

“Ouch,” Kai scoffs. He stops before the door and licks his lips. He doesn’t care. He’s going to have this door opened tonight. He has asked Grace and Gwenna many times if he could go in there, and they had constantly ignored him.

“What are _you_ doing?” Sehun asks in a whisper when Kai wraps his hand around the doorknob and turns it.

“Do you know where the key for this door is?” Kai asks casually, not making it a big deal. He turns and faces Sehun, who looks confused. He then shakes his head.

“I don’t.”

“Oh, come on, Asherton. Help me out a little here.”

“I really don’t know,” Sehun glares at him. “And even if I _did_ , why would I tell _you_?’

“You wouldn’t,” Kai sighs and furiously twists the doorknob again. He could break the doorknob and get in. But he knows he’ll in trouble for that.

“Why… what’s in there?” Sehun asks, wearing a curious and serious expression.

“My grandma’s golden penis,” Kai says.

“What?”

“Yeah. I need it.” he twists the doorknob futilely again and kicks the door out of frustration.

“Why do you have to be such a dick all the goddamn time?”

Kai turns around and cocks his brow at Sehun. “Try asking yourself that question sometimes.”

Sehun lets out a breath of laughter. “ _I’m_ a dick? Since when?”

“You tried to prank me with those shit that you gave me, acting all nice just some months ago!”

“What are you talking about?!” he steps closer. “I _was_ being nice to you!”

“Do you expect me to believe that shit? When have you _ever_ been nice, Sehun?!” he hisses in a violent whisper.

Sehun stops right there and he stares at Kai with his mouth hanging open. He then licks his lips, glancing away. God, how much Kai wants to shove Sehun up a wall and kiss the shit out of him…

He turns to the door and fists the doorknob. With a single tug, he rips the doorknob and the door creaks open. Kai glances back at Sehun to see if the guy would yell at him for doing that. Surprisingly, Sehun looks stunned as he gapes in confusion. “What are you—” he stops himself when the light in the hallway is turned off. Kai hears a quiet whistle coming from the staircase.

“Shit,” he exhales and shoves the door open. Grabbing Sehun’s arm, he hauls him in and shuts the door. The room is pitch black. Kai’s vision fails him as the darkness blinds him. They don’t move an inch as Sehun practically has his chest pressed against his. Kai stops breathing.

There are footsteps. Sehun’s attention is on the door as he focuses on the passing person. The whistling is loud now and Kai hopes whoever that is, they won’t notice the broken doorknob. Then slowly, Kai starts to pant quietly with Sehun pressed so close to his body. Does Sehun even realize how dangerously close he is? Sehun brings a hand to the door, keeping his eyes on it with his concentration on the whistling. Kai licks his lips, staring down at Sehun’s plush, full lips. His hands tremble and he balls them into fists to stop the shaking. He takes all of Sehun’s heat and scent in as he involuntarily lowers his head, leaning in, making those pink lips his target. He wants Sehun. He wants him so badly. He wants Sehun so much that he would trade his soul for him. But would Sehun ever want him back?

 The tip of his nose almost brushes Sehun’s cheek when Sehun turns his face to meet Kai. “I think they’re gone,” he whispers in the dark and Kai pulls away with a jerk as though he’s been burned.

Rubbing the back of his hot neck, Kai sucks in a shaky breath. “Great. You can leave.” He pulls the doorknob when Sehun clasps his hand over his own. Kai freezes again. Thank heavens it’s dark. Otherwise, Sehun would probably see how hot and bothered Kai is right now, unbelievably worked up.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, this isn’t your business either.”

“You tell me or I’ll tell everyone that you’re here.”

Kai clenches his teeth. “Why do you have to be such a fucking prat?!”

Even in the dark, Kai can see Sehun’s smirk. Groaning, Kai withdraws his hand from the doorknob and turns around. He pulls his phone out and flashes the light at the wooden spiral staircase that leads down. He blinks at it and leans over the railings. There is only a long ass staircase that descends into darkness in the room. Everything is caked with dust and cobwebs. Kai takes a slow step on the old stairs.

“What is this place?” Sehun coughs.

“Keep your mouth shut if you want to tag along.” Kai snaps at him, starting downstairs.


	8. Peeping Tom

“Can you be quiet?” Kai hisses, louring back to Sehun who could barely see the steps he’s taking. He constantly keeps his hand on the jagged, dusty wall

“I didn’t even say anything,” he whispers, scowling back at Kai.

“You’re breathing too loud.”

Sehun fights the urge to smack the back of Kai’s head and shove him down the stairs. He carefully treads on Kai’s footsteps with the light emitting from his phone illuminating their way. Sehun knows Kai is up to something, but for some odd reason, he also knows Kai doesn’t really know what he’s up to. He had found Kai staring at the door earlier today and a moment ago, Kai was all but keen to break into this room. By the looks of it, Kai hadn’t anticipated _this_ either.

It’s not a room. It’s almost like a stairway to the basement. Only that this basement is way too deep. The stairs keep stretching downwards in a spiral, attached to the wall. Sehun also spots some burned torchwoods.

“What are we doing in here?” he asks. Kai replies with a low guttural noise.

“What part of _‘be quiet’_ don’t you get?”

“I’m just curious. Did you know this room exist?”

“Jesus, Asherton,” he spits and spins around, glaring into Sehun’s eyes. “Shut. Up. Or I’ll shut you up.” He turns around and descends further downstairs.

Sehun lets out a sigh and follows him. His heart slowly begins to hammer against his chest as they aimlessly venture deeper. He couldn’t help but wonder why nothing has been done about this room and how many other rooms like this one are forsaken in the mansion. It really looks like it’s been abandoned and locked for ages.

He gasps when his foot slips and he lurches forward. He grips onto Kai’s shoulders who stands still and firm. “Seriously, don’t ever think I’m going to let you come on me from behind, Asherton,” Kai sniggers and Sehun retrieves his hands at once, straightening up. Blood rushes to his cheeks as he blushes.

“You’re disgusting,” Sehun murmurs and Kai tosses him a glance along with a smirk.

“You need to learn how to take a joke lightly.” He proceeds downstairs.

“Do you even joke? I thought you only insult people.”

“Oh… You’re right.” he shrugs.

They stay silent for a moment, taking careful steps. When the moment has passed, Sehun swallows and asks, “When… did we… become like this?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know. Corrivals. Hostile parties. Opposing sides. I mean, our brothers are _dating_ each other and we both can’t even talk to each other without slurring out some kind of snub.”

“Oh,” he says. “I don’t know. We’ve always been like this?”

It is a little odd having this conversation with Kai. “Have we… ever been friends?”

“I think I liked you a little when you were still sucking your binky. But _friends_ is a heavy word.”

Sehun smiles to himself and is thankful that Kai doesn’t see the smile. “You liked me as a baby, then?”

“Yeah. You were quieter.”

“How would you know? You’re like a year older than me.”

“I am mighty. I could skip and climb walls while you and Shixun were shitting in diapers and dragging your itchy poopy butts all over the carpet. You were both chubby ass babies, God. It’s like you deliberately _love_ to attract attention just by putting a fat finger in your drooling mouth and instantly, you’re the family’s MVP.” He groans.

Sehun doesn’t know why the thought of him growing up with Kai amuses him. Kai must have been that annoying little brat that went around poking Sehun’s baby cheeks and pinching his nose when no one’s looking. But then again, Kai must have been surrounded by a lot of babies at that time with Shixun, Sehun and Kris as well. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a total cocky bastard?”

“That is my middle name.”

“So you’ve loathed me because I was a cuter baby than you.”

Kai is silent for a beat. “No. You loathed me first.”

“Not true.”

“Is, too.”

Sehun pauses as his eyebrows furrow into a frown. This argument is childish and Kai is the most childish thing Sehun has ever seen. “I’m sure if you were a good guy, I never would have hated you.”

Kai stops in his tracks and turns around to face Sehun. He stares into Sehun’s eyes and grips his breath. “I’m not a good guy. But then again, who is?” his voice is low. Sehun emptily blinks at him in confusion. “But if I suddenly turned into the _good guy_ you like, would you stop hating me, then?”

“You can’t just suddenly turn into a good person.” Sehun says.

Kai nods his head. “Figured you’d say that,” he sighs and turns around. Sehun stands still, completely baffled. _What was that about_ , he wonders. He hasn’t seen Kai speak to him with such seriousness.

“I don’t think you’re a bad person, though. You just have some... attitude problem.”

“Sure, Asherton,” he spits when he steps onto a flat ground. He stops for a second and flashes the light around him. There are walls and a narrow pathway. He freezes again, staring into the dark pathway. He blankly stares at it with a tight fist at his side.

“Kai?” Sehun calls. The name burns on his tongue. He hates calling Kai by his name because it hurts so badly. Kai doesn’t even flinch. “Hey,” he says and shakes Kai’s shoulder. Kai snaps out of it and darts a glare in Sehun’s way. He swats Sehun’s hand off his shoulder and enters the pathway. Exhaling a heavy breath, Sehun proceeds after him.

It mostly looks like a basement. Only ten times creepier. Sehun doesn’t know what Kai is doing here, but it couldn’t be that serious or incredibly secretive if he’s allowing him to tag along.

Sehun jumps and clings onto Kai’s arm when a rat scoots past him with a ferocious squeak. “There are rats,” he gasps, looking in the way the rat had gone. He feels Kai’s bicep flex in his grip and he hastily withdraws his hands. “Sorry.”

Kai doesn’t reply as he silently leads the way. There’s just one way, but it almost looks like Kai is following something. “You’re scared of rats?”

“Who isn’t?”

Kai smirks. “You probably shouldn’t have let me know about that.”

“I swear to God, if you ever do anything—”

“What? You’ll blow me?” he pauses and Sehun gapes at him, opening his mouth to say something. “Away with a storm?”

Sehun glowers at him as he turns on his heel and walks away. “How long do you plan on being such a dick to me?”

Kai comes to a stop when he reaches another room. There isn’t any door and it’s just as dark. Sehun peers over Kai’s shoulder and his eyes bulge out. Kai curses under his breath as he walks in.

There is a gargantuan tombstone lying on the ground. It’s covered in chains and padlocks, caked with dust, grime and cobwebs. Sehun’s blood pounds in his ears, wondering if the tombstone harbours anything and why his family is keeping it here.

“What are you doing?” Sehun whispers when Kai crouches to the ground. He drags his fingers along the carvings on the side of the tombstone, keenly studying them.

“Here, hold this,” he hands his phone to Sehun who accepts it immediately. “Most families hide heirlooms and jewels, meanwhile _your_ family hides freaky tombstones.”

“Why are you groping it?!” Sehun hisses under his breath when Kai draws his hands over the rusty chains.

Kai glances to him with a lour. “You can leave if you want.”

Sehun blinks. “Oh, my God. Are you going to—”

“Yes, I am.” He stands up. Sehun gawks at him walk around the tombstone. “Do you think there’s something in here?”

“Like your grandmother’s golden penis?” Sehun snorts.

“They’re probably keeping some sort of treasure.” He bends low and clutches the chain.

“Kai, Gwenna probably knows that you’re here.” Sehun says in a concerned voice.

“She’s sleeping. I don’t think she’s too conscious when she’s sleeping.”

“So what the hell is your plan?!”

“Will you calm your tits? Let’s just find out what’s in here. If you’re too much of a wimp, get out.”

Sehun gulps and falls silent. Kai gives the chain a tug, but it doesn’t give in. He grabs the padlock instead and furiously yanks it until the chain snaps. He grips another padlock and hauls it as well. Another set of chain snaps. The noise reverberates in the almost empty room.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I need to know what’s in here. Whatever that’s in here has been causing a lot of shit when I’m sleeping,” he says, violently ripping the chains off.

“The nightmares you have?”

Kai pants a little and catches his breath, kicking the chains to the ground. He then briefly looks to Sehun before drops on one knee. Holding onto the edge of the tombstone, he groans and lifts the top a little. His face crumples in struggle as he tries to push the lid off.

“Do you… need help?” Sehun offers, but Kai shakes his head, clenching his jaw.

“God!” he grunts and thrusts the top of the tombstone off.

That’s when a gust of cold, dusty wind jets into the room, hitting Sehun’s back hard. Both Kai and Sehun turn their attention to the mouth of the room. Then with all abruptness, the wind dies, leaving nothing but stagnant air again.

With the fine hairs on the back of his neck risen, Sehun faces Kai, who has a baffled look etched on his face. He turns his gaze into the tombstone and Sehun looks into it as well. There is nothing. Only cobwebs, sooty grimes and dust. Kai blinks, staring endlessly into the tombstone.

“That’s it?” he breathes out with a disappointed edge in his voice. “Oh, fuck me,” he spits and rises to his feet. Rubbing his temples, he groans viciously and gives the tombstone a kick.

Sehun swallows and turns around, gaping into the dark pathway. How did that strong of a wind gush in _here_?

“This is stupid,” Kai spits and shoves past Sehun after snatching his phone back.

“Wait,” Sehun rasps and hurries after Kai.

Kai doesn’t wait for him as he jogs up the stairs, angrily clenching his fists.

They don’t stop until they are out of the room and back in the hallway. Sehun doesn’t understand why Kai seems so mad, but back in the brightness, Kai heaves a sigh and shakes his head. Sehun licks his lips.

“Right,” he mutters, walking past Kai. “Good night.”

He stops before his room and slouches forward tiredly. He is exhausted and is desperate for some sleep. There isn’t any obscene noise when he presses his ear to the door. Even so, he knocks on the door. There isn’t a response. Sighing, Sehun twists the doorknob and perks a head into the room.

His eyes squeeze out when he sees the mess in the room. It’s dark in there, but the moonlight pouring in through the windows allows him to discern everything clearly. The lamp is knocked down, the flowers and the vase are scattered on the floor. There are books and other knickknacks all over the floor. And in the bed, Kris has his arms wrapped around Shixun’s body and his head buried in Shixun’s chest as they are both tucked under the duvet, fast asleep.

“Wow,” he feels Kai’s breath on his nape before he hears his voice. “ _How_ rough did they actually do it?”

“What are you doing?!” Sehun hisses quietly, turning around and shutting the door behind him.

Kai is all smug and smirk-y again. “Hey, you’re the peeping tom here.”

“I wasn’t peeping!”

“You so totally were gawking, Asherton,” he chuckles. “Come on.” He starts to walk away.

“Huh? Where?”

“Well, _that_ is why we became roommates in the first place, remember?”

Sehun sighs as his shoulders sag and he follows Kai to his room.


	9. A Fun Night

Kai isn’t sure Sehun has ever been to his room in the mansion. It’s a surprise that Sehun has even come to his room when Kai asked him to come. Not just that, it also perplexes him to think why Sehun hasn’t sold him out or anything for breaking into that basement. So many things about Sehun leave Kai baffled these days. It’s almost like Sehun’s been possessed.

He looks exhausted when Kai glances back to him, pushing the door open. “Come in,” he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck while holding the door open for Sehun to enter.

Sehun scans the room with an arched brow. “It’s clean.”

“Well, we come here once in a blue moon. You’ve never seen my room back home,” he scoffs, shutting the door. Sehun stares at him for a beat and heaves a heavy breath.

“I’m bushed.” He really does look like it. Kai decides to not to pick on him tonight as he is tired as well. Perhaps he was expecting to find something in that tombstone. Perhaps he thought whatever that was in that tombstone would have answers to his ceaseless nightmares. But all that he found was an empty tombstone and of course, it made him mad.

He looks to his bed and then to Kris on the furthest end of the room. “You can sleep on… Kris’ bed,” he says, pointing to his own bed instead of Kris’. He entertains the idea of having Sehun in his bed and it makes him smile. At least Sehun’s scent and skin will touch all over the bed.

Sehun walks to Kai’s bed and climbs into it. Kai grins to himself, proceeding to Kris’ untouched bed. “What were you doing down there, Kai?” Sehun asks after tucking himself under the duvet—Kai’s duvet. Kai bites his lip, settling in Kris’ bed.

“I… I don’t know,” he shrugs, watching Sehun sleepily lie down. “It doesn’t matter. We didn’t find anything.”

“But we did,” he mutters in the dark, nestling his head into Kai’s pillow. “Isn’t it odd that they’re keeping a tombstone locked away?”

Kai tries to avert his attention from Sehun who is lying recumbent in his bed. God, if he could just slip into the bed with Sehun now, he’d die happily. “What do you think—” he stops himself when he hears Sehun’s heavy, steady breathing. “Asherton?” he whispers and there’s no reply. Sighing, Kai falls back on the bed and stares at Sehun, who’s fast asleep. “You arrogant piece of shit,” he murmurs under his breath, pressing the duvet to his lips to muffle his voice. “I love you.”

* * *

 

 

“Shixun, no! You _cannot_ wear a yellow watch with a white shirt and black pants!” Grace yelps, rushing to the other side of the room to snatch the wristwatch from Shixun.

“Oh, that’s the only thing that’s wrong with this outfit?!” Shixun groans, turning to face the full-length mirror. “Mom, I’m wearing a bowtie!”

Sehun smirks at his brother as he straightens his own bowtie, standing before the other full-length mirror in the closet. He sort of digs this look. White shirt tucked into the black pants with sleek black shoes, black suspenders and a black bowtie. It looks good, if not absolutely sharp.

“It’s my birthday, so I get to dress you up,” Grace says, tightening the bowtie around Shixun’s neck as Shixun rolls his eyes.

“You do realize Sehun and I are gonna look like Tweedledum and Tweedledee, right?”

The only difference is their hair colours and Sehun wears his hair slightly longer than Shixun’s, which is cropped at the sides and back. “I like this look,” Sehun says, turning around to face them.

“See,” Grace grins excitedly. “Gosh, you two look so handsome. When did you both grow so darn tall?” she cups Shixun’s face and kisses his forehead. When Sehun came back to his room early in the morning after Kris showed up at Kai and his room, he had found Shixun all showered and inspecting the clothes that were delivered to them to be worn at the party this evening. Shixun seems to be in a cheery mood all day and he had Sehun holed up in the room except to grab lunch.

“You should go get ready, Mom,” Sehun says when his mother turns to adjust his bowtie.

“Right,” she jumps and pecks on Sehun’s cheek. “Goodie. You boys behave, all right?” she storms out of the room and Shixun lets out an exasperated grunt.

“We look like fools.”

Sehun chuckles. “Nah. You look fine. Let’s ask your little boyfie, shall we?”

Shixun goes red immediately as he scowls at Sehun. “He’s not my little boyfie. When did you even start saying such a thing?”

“Well, when you guys shamelessly did the _do_ in the room you share with me. I had to freaking sleep in Kai’s room!”

“Oh… Sorry about that,” he shrugs and flumps on his bed.

“Hey, what… did you get for Mom and Gwenna?”

Shixun blinks his eyes at Sehun. “What do you mean? For their birthday?”

“Yeah.”

“Charms, as we always do?”

Sehun arches a brow. “Charms?”

“Dad said he’ll pick it up from the jeweller this afternoon, so he probably should have.”

Sehun doesn’t know what’s the supposed to mean, but he doesn’t drill Shixun for anything else. Taking his seat on his bed, Sehun picks on his cuticles, recalling last night. Kai had gone looking for the tombstone, but why? Hasn’t anyone in the house figured the door was broken into?

There’s a sudden knock on the door and it springs open before Sehun or Shixun could respond. Kris saunters in, clad in a maroon shirt and a pair of black jeans. “Sup, Sehun,” he cocks his eyebrows and Sehun flashes a brief smile in return. He whistles in awe, glancing to Shixun and scoops Shixun up to his feet in his arms. “Hey, beautiful,” he purrs, brushing his lips all over Shixun’s cheeks and pulls Shixun into a kiss. Grinning into the kiss, Shixun wraps his arms around Kris’ neck and Sehun looks away. He stands up and exits the room. They really have the knack to make people uncomfortable.

Sehun proceeds to the stairs. He hears a faint cacophony of laughter downstairs. Guests must have arrived. He comes to halt at the top of the staircase and glances to the door Kai had broken into last night. His eyes widen and his jaw falls slacking when he notices the fixed doorknob. It’s locked again like it was never broken in the first place.

He snaps out of it and staggers forward when the suspenders slam against his back after being yanked back. “Ow!” he cries and jumps around to see Kai flashing a toothy, excited grin. “What the hell?!” Sehun stretches his arms back, trying to reach his stinging back. “Ouch, ah…”

“That was fun,” Kai laughs and grabs Sehun’s suspenders at the front, and before Sehun could retaliate, Kai releases the suspenders.

“Fuck!” Sehun yelps and shoves Kai back by the chest.

Letting out a hearty laugh, Kai says, “Oh, I’m going to have lots of fun tonight!”

“Don’t you dare!” Sehun rubs the left side of his chest with his face cringing in the subtle pain. “You’re such an ass.”

“I’ve been told I am.” Kai shrugs. Sehun scowling as hard as he can, he scans Kai from top to toe. He’s sporting a white V-neck t-shirt with light khaki pants and a dark denim jacket with the sleeves folded up to his elbows. There’s a chain with dog tags around his neck. “Yoo-hoo?” he waves his hand before Sehun’s face.

Sehun blinks his eyes and glances away, clenching his jaw. “Did you fix the door?”

“What door?” he cocks an eyebrow.

“That door,” he points to the door. Kai looks over Sehun’s shoulder and his eyes bulge out.

“What the…” he shoves past Sehun and wends his way to the door. He twists the doorknob a couple of times. It _is_ locked. “Fuck.”

“You’re screwed,” Sehun smirks.

“Ha-ha. You were with me, remember? Partner in crime.”

“I’ll deny.”

“Kris saw you in our room. I have a witness,” he scoffs and Sehun glowers at him.

“Who do you think fixed it?”

Kai doesn’t reply as he heads downstairs. Sehun heaves a sigh and follows him.

“Ah, there they are!” a woman cries when they walk into the living hall. There are long tables of buffet around the hall and the crystal chandeliers are scintillating like big clusters of stars. “Wait, Shixun or Sehun?” Allis asks. “You dyed your hair.”

“Sehun,” he informs her and bows his head, smiling faintly.

“Ah. And Kai, how have you been?”

“Good, Aunt Allis,” he says, giving her a hug.

There are quite a number of people gathered in the hall. Most of them Sehun doesn’t recognize. Donghae and Yixing are here, too. Sehun automatically grins when he spots them in the corner with Mark, helping themselves to the fruit punch.

“Where’s Shixun?” a man asks, walking up to them and drapes his arm over Allis’ shoulders. Must be her husband. “Haven’t seen that boy in forever.”

“He’s upstairs,” Sehun says. “He’ll be down shortly. Will… more people arrive?”

Kai looks at him ridiculously.

“Of course,” Allis says. “I heard the Minister is coming. Vaughn.”

Sehun almost chokes on his own spit. “Vaughn?” he rasps. “Philip Vaughn?!”

Allis blinks. “Yes, why? Do you know him?”

Jule’s father. Yes, Sehun knows that goose. But he’s more thrilled about Jule. “Is his family coming?”

“I would think so,” she mutters, looking to her tall husband.

Sehun helplessly smiles. This is wondrous.

“Excuse me,” Kai pulls himself away and walks over to Mark, Yixing and Donghae, who let out a cheery wail when he shows up.

“How’s school, Sehun?” Allis inquires.

“Great, actually. Where’s Jungkook, Aunt Allis?”

“He went out with Xi to fetch some drinks.” He spots Dillan and her husband entertaining the other guests.

Sehun keeps his eyes on Kai who’s taking a swig of the fruit punch, grinning at something Yixing has said. If only Sehun could express how much he misses Kai.

“Dillan,” Faiion’s voice booms into the hall when he bursts in.

“Faiion, what is it?” Dillan asks when he rushes to her side with a flustered expression. Sehun’s eyebrows furrow together when Allis and her husband hurry over to them. Faiion mutters something under his breath as Dillan and Allis look baffled. Without dilly-dallying, they start out of the hall at once.

“Dad,” Sehun calls, jogging up to his father.

“Not now, Sehun.”

“No, wait. What happened?” he asks, grabbing hold of his father’s arm.

Sighing heavily, Faiion whispers, “Your Aunt Gwenna’s gone missing.”

“What?” Sehun hisses. “What do you mean _missing_?”

“She’s been gone all morning. We thought maybe she went out. But I can’t locate her anywhere. Can you and the others take care of the guests for a while? Invite them in and offer them food and drinks? Your Mom will be down as soon as she can. I’m going to go look for Gwen with Dezmond.”

“Dad—” his father dashes away with the others and Sehun stands there for a moment, gaping at nothing.


	10. Done For Good

“What’s going on?”

Sehun spins around only to see Kai, Mark, Donghae and Yixing looming over him. Kai has his arms folded over his chest and a frown etched to his eyebrows. “Nothing,” Sehun mutters when he discerns the guests’ eyes on him. “Absolutely nothing. They’ll be right back. Mom will be down soon.”

Kai and the others don’t buy it, but Sehun flashes a brief smile and brushes past them. He can only hope that nothing has happened to Gwenna because right now, she’s the only link Sehun has left to his original life, the only reminder that he had indeed lived another fate. Without her, Sehun worries he might lose his mind. But most of all, he wants her to be safe. This probably nothing. Maybe she went out for a walk. However, the sharp pain in his chest alarms him.

As more guests begin to swarm the hall, Sehun recoils further into the corner, hoping that no one would notice his existence. Kai is good with everyone who walks through that door. He’s smiling, bowing, engaging conversations. That is something even Kai from the other fate was good at. No matter how much of a prick he is, he’s still good at everything that he does. When Shixun and Kris finally join them, the guests quickly warm up to Kris, although Shixun is quite obviously trying to avoid them.

Sehun stares at Jungkook who walks over to the table to grab some food. He’s back, so Xiomara must be here, too. He throws a ‘hey’ in Sehun’s way and minds his own business. “Why are you standing so awkwardly alone?” Shixun asks when he walks up to Sehun.

Sehun shakes his head and sighs. “Something’s happened,” he mutters and Jungkook’s attention is suddenly averted to them. Shixun cocks an eyebrow. “Aunt Gwenna’s missing.”

“What?” both Jungkook and Shixun exclaim in unison.

“Shh. Don’t tell anyone.”

“Where is she?” Jungkook yelps with his eyes bulging out.

Shixun rolls his eyes and faces the shorter boy. “He just said she’s _missing_ , you bimbo.”

“Dad and the others are looking for her,” Sehun tells them. “They’ll find her.” He frowns, unable to convince himself.

“Couldn’t Dad locate her?”

“He said he couldn’t.”

That surprises Shixun. “That’s impossible. Unless Aunt Gwenna’s blocking Dad’s mind out.”

Sehun licks his lips.

“Oh, look. They’re here,” Jungkook rasps, jerking his chin in the direction of the entrance.

Sehun’s eyes almost fall out of their sockets when he sees Amber sauntering into the hall, all clad in a blue shirt and black slacks. At her side is a tall, big-built man with thick grey moustache and beard. “Oh, my God. Amber?” he breathes out.

Shixun scoffs. “Since when are you on first name basis with her?”

Sehun blinks at his brother, his gaze constantly bouncing back to Amber and the tough-looking man. “Since when are Snatchers allowed in here?”

Both Shixun and Jungkook pin him with a ridiculous look. “Since the accord?” Jungkook says.

“Accord,” Sehun echoes in a whisper. There’s been an accord? So what, Snatchers and they are on good terms now? Is that why there was this Ghost Moon night which allowed the Snatchers to roam freely? Sehun scans the hall for Xiomara and spots her talking to someone in the corner. “Who’s that beside her?”

Shixun looks back at Amber and the man. “The Rogue?”

“Her father?”

That instant, Sehun knows he should shut up. Shixun is glaring at him. “Why the hell are you acting so weird?”

Sehun’s hands shake. He wants to talk to Amber. He wants to know if Amber and Xiomara are a thing. Probably not because they’re not even acknowledging each other. “Sehun, Shixun,” an unfamiliar voice diverts his attention.

Sehun turns around to meet a stubby old man grinning at him. He doesn’t know who he is, so he looks to Shixun. Shixun smiles back at the short man and shakes hands with him. “Mr Yun.”

“Excuse me,” Sehun mutters and slips away from them. Maybe he should go see if his mother’s ready. His family fits in all of this. Sehun doesn’t. It feels like he’s also just a clueless guest here. When he scoots past Amber, she passes him an unreadable look. She then glances back to the man she was talking to and Sehun proceeds to the door. He comes to a halt in the hallway when he hears a faint cacophony of chattering. There’s a small crowd and amidst is a very familiar face. Jule.

“Ah!” the Minister chimes when he spots Sehun and he shoves past the crowd. “Dear lord. Shixun or… Sehun?”

“Sehun,” he says, shaking Philip’s hand.

“Yes, yes. Done something with you hair?”

Sehun reflexively ruffles his hair and smiles. He looks to Jule who walks up to him with a beautiful smile on her red lips. “How are you, Sehun?” she asks.

“G-great. And you, Jule?”

“Marvellous.” God, she has to be the only one who still seems to be the exact same and that somewhat comforts Sehun.

“Where’s Mommy, then?” Philip inquires.

“I’m just about to go look for her,” Sehun says.

“Splendid.” The Minister pats him on the shoulder before he brushes past him. Jule offers Sehun another smile as she follows her father into the hall. Sehun definitely needs to speak with her.

But for now, he hurries up the stairs. He doesn’t really know where his parents’ room is, so he blindly walks around the floor, looking into every unlocked doors.

He comes to a jerky stop when he hears a vague whisper. His eyes narrow and his throat goes dry. It’s a whispery raucousness that baffles Sehun for a moment. He looks around, trying to secure the source of the din. He turns on his heel and starts walking in the direction of the noise.

It’s coming from upstairs, the floor above. Sehun swallows and jogs up. He comes to a dark, unlit hallway and struts along it. He passes Kai and Kris’ room, and the whispers louden. “M… Mom?” he calls out, but his voice only reverberates in the hallway.

There is a door at the end of the hallway. A huge one. And as Sehun draws near to it, the whispers grow stronger. His heart begins hammer against his chest. He stops before the door and latches his hand to the handle. The instant he pushes the door open, the whispers die abruptly. Sehun blinks as the lights flicker on.

It’s a library.

He lets out a breath and stares at the tall shelves. There are two floors in the library, all filled to the brim with books. “Mom?”

There is no response. Did he really hear those whispers or were they his imagination? Rather fazed, Sehun enters the library. Only the dim yellow light of the bulbs provide any brightness to the huge room. He stops in a narrow lane between the mountainous bookshelves and drops to the floor. He sits down and lets out an exasperated breath, hugging his knees to his chest, leaning his back against the shelf. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t want to go back down. Clenching his eyes close, he rests his head back on the bookshelf. He misses his parents. His foster parents. He misses Xi, way too much. He even misses the grumpy old Donghae. He just misses everyone. And they’re all here. Except Dee. Gwenna said there had to be some sort of compensation to pay, but she ascertained him that Dee lives somewhere, with another fate.

He heaves a sigh. This is the only world that exists now. So why does he want to believe that the world from his other fate still exists? Why couldn’t he convince himself otherwise?

“Never knew this was your secret hideout.”

Sehun’s head flies up in horror and he’s startled when he sees Kai towering above him. “Shit, you… What are you doing here?” he grimly spits and scowls at him.

“Looking for Grace and I saw the library’s open,” he smirks and lowers to settle on the ground across Sehun. He leans back upon the bookshelf on the opposite and Sehun continues to glower at him. “Is it reflect-upon-your-worthlessness hour?” he brings a knee up and rests an elbow on it.

Should Sehun tell him that he heard voices? Probably not. Kai would only make fun of him. “You should be downstairs entertaining the guests.”

“They’re not mine to entertain. So, what’s happening?”

Sehun glances away for a beat, clenching his jaw. “Everyone’s gone out to look for Gwenna and I suppose Grace is, too.”

“Why? What happened to Gwenna?”

“She’s been missing since morning.” He faces Kai again and winces when he discerns the nightmarish expression on Kai’s face.

“And no one bothered to tell me?” he snaps.

“I don’t really think you’re the big man of the house,” Sehun snorts.

“And you think who is? Your father?”

“It seems so.”

Kai jolts up to his feet and starts pacing the floor, walking back and fro. “Is she really missing? Couldn’t your father locate her with his stupid Flair?”

Sehun shakes his head. “No.”

“How is that possible?”

“I guess that’s why he was worried.” He rises to his feet as Kai rubs his jaw. “You think Gwenna’s blocking him out?”

“That has to be the most reasonable explanation. But why?”

Sehun shrugs. “I’m no Sherlock Holmes.”

Kai makes a funny face, mocking Sehun. “You’re not even qualified to be Sherlock’s pug.”

“Why do you have to keep picking on me when I have done absolutely nothing to—” he stops himself when he catches a sharp whisper emitting from the end of the lane. “Did you hear that?” he hisses under his breath.

“I did.”

Sehun looks to Kai in surprise. Kai is gaping at the end of the lane as well. “You heard it.” Sehun gasps. “Then I’m not going mad.”

Kai blinks blankly. “Well, I wouldn’t vouch for that, but fuck, I did hear that.” He starts walking to the end of the bookshelves. Sehun stares at him for a moment before hurrying after him.

Kai climbs up the ladder when he reaches the end and Sehun follows. When they reach the top floor, Kai wends his way towards another bookshelf. “I heard it a while ago, too.”

“What I’m more curious about is why you called your own mother Grace.”

Sehun freezes in his tracks and gawks at Kai who only glances back once. “What?”

“Never heard you say that. It’s always Mom or Mommy. Just as I’ve never heard you say _‘you screwed up’_. Screwed? I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I ever heard the word come out of your mouth.”

Sehun swallows. “I just… I was… confused. I don’t know what I was saying. And I do say _screw_ a lot. Maybe you didn’t pay enough attention.”

Kai smirks and walks away. “Seems to me like you’re kind of losing your mind, Asherton. And I always pay enough attention to you.”

“No, you don’t,” Sehun laughs nervously.

Kai doesn’t reply as he comes to a stop. “Have you seen this book?” he points to the glass case. There’s a thick, brown book in there.

Sehun shakes his head.

“It’s the Flairers’ Logbook.” He lifts the glass case and settles it on the floor.

“That’s the book?” Sehun rasps in a breath. “And do you have respect whatsoever for anything? What are you doing?”

“Relax. It’s just a book. I’ve done this a couple of times, although it landed me in a lot of trouble with Gwenna. You know how harsh she is with punishments. But now that she’s not here.”

“If you’re not supposed to—”

“God, you sound like my mother.” He flips the book open. “They are always so secretive about this book. Which is why they keep the library locked all the time. We found a tombstone in the basement. Let’s see what we can find in here.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be some sort of register for all the Flairers in the world?”

“Are you kidding me? They keep those kinds of records at the Ministry. This might be like an old log for the Flairers before the Ministry was established.”

Sehun peers over Kai’s shoulder. The book does seem ancient. He clearly recalls that time when he snuck into the library with Xiomara and Kai, looking for the logbook, but it was nowhere to be found.

Kai flinches when Sehun’s arm brushes against his shoulder. Sehun steps away. “Look. There’s your Mom and Gwenna,” he points to a page. Sehun’s eyes rake the tattered pictures on the page. They are pictures of two identical girls with their names handwritten at the bottom. _Gwendolyn Prescott_ and _Gracelyn Prescott._ Beneath the names are the description of their Flairs.

“They were young. How could they possibly have known all the sub-Flairs?” Sehun asks.

“Beats me,” he shrugs and turns the page. There’s a black and white picture of a woman. “Their mother,” Kai breathes out. “I’ve never even seen a picture of Grace and Gwenna’s parents. Look at her main Flair. Universal Predicting.”

Sehun points to the page beside and the old picture of a handsome man. “Grevan Asherton. Faiion’s father? That’s amazing.”

“And the fact that you called your Dad by his name is too.” Kai smiles.

“I… I didn’t. I mean—”

“Yeah, I know about Grevan and most of Faiion’s family. Allis’, too. It’s your Mom’s that nobody has any idea of.” He flips the pages. “Oh! It’s my grandma,” he points to a picture and laughs. “She makes the world’s best Pineapple Upside-Down Cake, I swear. And her eggnog is the bomb.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! You’ve never met her, have you? Maybe you have, I don’t know. You should come spend the Christmas with us. It’ll be fun.” He chuckles, but Sehun stares at him, unable to understand Kai’s real motive. Kai falls silent. “I’m… I didn’t meant that. You don’t have to come. I mean, you can’t come. You’ll ruin Christmas.” He furiously turns the pages. Sehun studies Kai’s side profile. He’s very handsome, Sehun must give him that. Young or old. Kai just has this fire that can light anyone up. If only he isn’t such a dickhead. “I think this is like the log for the old Recherchés. Most of them are dead and we’re not in here.”

Sehun returns his gaze to the book. “We should probably go back down.”

Kai pauses at a page. There is no picture, but there’s a description at the bottom. It has to be the only page that doesn’t have a picture. _Arthur Prescott._ Sehun’s eyes widen. “Is he… related to…”

“I think so,” Kai mutters. “Fuck,” he breathes out, dragging his fingertip along the description.

“What?”

“His Flair. Dark Astral Projection.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s like OBE.”

“What’s OBE?”

Kai shoots him a disgusted look. “Out-of-body-experience,” he says as if Sehun is supposed to know what that means. He continues to silently read the description. “It says here he’s not only able to experience it himself, but also make other people’s souls leave their bodies and get lost in the darkness.” There is a sudden strained look on Kai’s face. It almost seems like he’s in pain. “Their souls travel blindly, looking for an entity to house them. This is why dead, soulless bodies, which become nothing but empty vessels of darkness, are often possessed by these roaming souls that cannot find their way back to their original bodies. Their soulless, original bodies will be alive for some time, but a soulless existence can only live on this side of the world for long before it decays.” He raises his head and gapes into nothing.

“Kai?” Sehun whispers when he notices that Kai has spaced out. “Hey?” he curls a hand around Kai’s arm and shakes him.

Kai turns his head and faces Sehun. “That must be horrible.”

“It must be,” Sehun mutters with Kai’s biceps flexing under his grip. “Souls being lost.”

“In the dark,” Kai exhales. “He’s obviously related to Gwenna and Grace. But he’s no longer around. Must be their father. Ever heard about your grandpa?”

Sehun slowly shakes his head.

“Feeds on the souls he steals,” Kai reads further. “What the fuck? He’s must have been on some kind of acid.”

“Does it bother you because of your own Darkness Dimension Flair?” that must be why Kai feels so perturbed about souls being lost in the darkness.

That snaps Kai. His head shoots up and he faces Sehun with a horrified expression. Sehun releases Kai’s arm and takes a step back as Kai’s eyes pop out with terror. “What did you say?”

“I mean,” Sehun licks his lips. “Is it because of the Flair? Darkness Dimension. You obviously feel bothered.”

Kai is gawking at him in an indescribable shock. “How the hell do you know about that? Nobody knows, but me.”

Sehun blinks, swallowing hard. _Shit_.

“Kai!” an echo of a cry booms into the library. “Kai! Where are you?!” It’s Kris.

Kai rips his eyes off Sehun and breaks into a sprint toward the ladder.


	11. Hurts So Bad

 

“Kai, wait,” Sehun rasps and hurries after Kai. “Wait.” He grabs Kai’s arm to stop him, but Kai spins around, aggressively ripping his arm free from Sehun’s grip.

“You’re a bloody freak!” His roar startles Sehun. Kai looks viciously aggravated as though Sehun had put his nose out of joint. Kai has always been irritating, childish and unbelievably vexing, but right now, he looks like a merciless monster. Sehun wants to back away, but he couldn’t move. He messed up big time and now he doesn’t know how he could rectify it. Why should he even bother to rectify?

“I can explain,” he says and his body shudders when Kai grabs him by his shirt collar.

“You think you know everything, don’t you, you fucking smartass? If you’re keeping some sort of tab on me, I swear to God I will hurt you so bad you won’t be able to look at your stupid face in the mirror again. Do you understand, you creep?” he releases Sehun’s shirt and shoves him back.

Sehun gapes at him with all blood drained from his face. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Fucking stay away from me,” Kai snarls and turns on his heel before he jogs to the entrance. Sehun gasps in a sharp breath and leans himself against the bookshelf for a moment. His heart clenches and he struggles to swallow a sob that rises in his throat. He had botched things up badly and although he had sworn to never let anything about Kai bother him, seeing Kai burst out like that a moment ago makes his head spin in bafflement. Freak. Of all the things Kai could have called him, he called him a Freak. Right now, that is precisely what Sehun is. Kai has become nobody to him and yet, hearing him say such things _does_ hurt and there’s nothing Sehun could do about it.

Sehun wants to sink into the ground, but he gathers himself up again and wends his way out of the library. He finds Kris and Kai in the hallway and joins them.

“I don’t know, Kai,” Kris blurts out, glancing to Sehun. “What were you two doing in there anyway?”

“But they haven’t found her?” Kai asks, ignoring his brother’s question.

“No. Gwenna’s just gone.”

“Are they back?” Sehun inquires.

“Yeah,” Kris says. “No. Only your Dad’s back. She’s nowhere in the compound. Everyone’s gonna go look for Gwenna now.”

Sehun’s heart hammers in his chest when Kai deliberately walks ahead of them, keeping his fists clenched at his sides.

“Wow, did something happen to him?” Kris asks. Sehun heaves a sigh, frowning deeply. He doesn’t know why he couldn’t calm his racing heart. He doesn’t know why his hands won’t stop trembling. “And why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“No, nothing.” Sehun shakes his head.

They hurtle down the stairs only to find Faiion, Jungkook, Shixun, Donghae, Mark, Xiomara and Yixing at the stairwell of the first floor. “Kai,” Faiion rasps and takes hold of Kai’s elbow. Shixun clings onto Kris’ arm at once with a worried expression on his face. “You guys need to go back to FLAC now. I’m not sure when I’ll be back.”

“What? Why?” Kai asks. “Let us help you find Aunt Gwen.”

“No. No. Mark will send you four back to FLAC and Yixing, take Jungkook and Xi to your grandparents’ place. Everyone here is going to help us look for Gwenna. Where _is_ Grace?” Faiion brushes past Kai and Sehun.

“Dad, you can’t expect us to just leave while Aunt Gwenna’s missing.” Sehun says and his father faces him with a frown.

“Look. We don’t know how long this is going to take and I might not be back in time to send you back. Plus, we need Mark back here as soon as possible. So please leave now and that’ll be help enough.”

“Why do we have to go to school when there’s a shitstorm here?” Shixun spits out.

“Watch your language, young man,” Faiion warns him. “And stop arguing. “Mark, take them back now. Dillan will be at FLAC tomorrow to check on you guys.” He jogs up the staircase.

Kai rubs his forehead, letting out an exasperated breath. “Oh, come on. We can help, too,” he tells Mark.

“Sorry, brother. Go get your things. We’re leaving,” Mark says and claps a hand to Kai’s back.

“This is serious, isn’t?” Kris mutters and Sehun glances down the stairwell. People are already scurrying out of the house with their coats on. “Why couldn’t Faiion locate Gwenna?”

“We don’t know,” Xiomara says with concern sheening in her bloodshot eyes. “I hope she’s okay.”

“She’ll be fine, Xi,” Yixing murmurs, wrapping his arms around Xiomara’s skinny shoulders. “She’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

Sehun frowns. He wants to comfort Xiomara, but he knows she’d rather not have it. “Hey, look at me,” Kai says out of the sudden and tips Xiomara’s chin up. Her eyes are welled with tears. “Your Mom’s gonna be all right. They’ll find her.”

“But… Uncle Faiion couldn’t locate her,” she mewls and leans her head against Kai’s chest. Kai pats her on the back and strokes her silver hair. “I’m scared.”

Sehun raises a hand to Xiomara’s shoulder and he freezes when Kai swats his hand off. Sehun gapes at Kai’s furious scowl for a moment and glances away, clenching his jaw.

* * *

 

 

 

“This is stupid,” Kai spits, slamming the car’s door shut. “You’ll tell Mom to let me know if she’s back, won’t you?” he asks Mark, leaning over the car’s window.

“Sure thing, Kai. Now, go inside.”

Kai hates it. He hates the fact that Faiion and everyone else is treating him like a child when he is twice as powerful as any one of them. Okay, maybe not Faiion, but yeah. Gwenna is missing without a note and everyone’s out looking for her while Kai is sent back to the school because they probably think it’s too dangerous for him. What the hell?

He saunters into the entrance of the tower with his backpack slung on his shoulder. Kris and Shixun are already out of sight, and Kai doesn’t even bother about where Sehun is. The night is still quite young, but he knows most of the students must have already gone to sleep. He comes to a halt on the spiral stairs and heaves in a breath. He definitely doesn’t want to go to his room, knowing that Sehun will be there. He isn’t sure if he had blabbered something out or if he had said something about this darkness thing that keeps haunting him when he was asleep, but he couldn’t believe Sehun knows about it. He even has a name for it! Darkness Dimension? What the fuck is that all about?

Whatever it is, Kai fears he might say something to others. Sehun better keep his trap shut if he wants to live. Kai is already having a hard time keeping Gwenna out of his head, but he knows she doesn’t pay much attention to him anyway. He doesn’t need Sehun—the last person Kai wants his secrets laid out to—poking his nose somewhere it doesn’t belong. This makes everything more complicated. How on earth did Sehun even find out?! Why does it have to be _Sehun_ of all the people who could have found out about Kai’s nightmares?

When Kai climbs up to the top of the stairs, he sucks in a deep breath. He might have been a little too harsh on Sehun earlier. Kai had freaked out. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how Sehun knew the one thing absolutely no one else knew about. He probably shouldn’t have said such things to him. Now that he thinks about, his heart tears a little. He always annoys Sehun as much as he can. But he has never been this harsh. In fact, he has never even been remotely angry at Sehun. He hadn’t meant a single word of it and Sehun probably doesn’t care, but Kai couldn’t just believe he had said all those things to him. Sehun would have brushed it off just as he brushes Kai’s entire existence off. He doesn’t even take Kai seriously for shit. But Kai should probably apologize, shouldn’t he?

It’s freaking Sehun. Why should he apologize to that nincompoop?

He doesn’t knock when he walks into the room and swallows when he spots Sehun. He is perched on the edge of his bed with his back facing Kai and eyes aimlessly gazing out the window. Kai scratches the back of his head and clears his throat. Sehun doesn’t respond. “Hey,” Kai mutters. He hasn’t even turned the lights on. Only the lamp on the desk is turned on.

Sehun lowers his head a little, but doesn’t look back. He hasn’t changed his clothes yet, but he had taken the suspenders off. Kai kind of liked the suspenders on him. To come to think of it, Sehun did look a little taken aback when Kai rebuked him in the library. Should he even ask Sehun how does he know about the darkness problem Kai struggles with almost every day?

“If you’re… worried about Gwenna… I’m sure she’s going to be okay.” Kai says. Again, Sehun doesn’t reply. “Hey… Look. I’m… sorry for what I said in the library.”

Sorry. _Sorry?_ When has Kai ever said fucking _sorry_ to Sehun? Jesus Christ, he’s most definitely doomed.

“No. I take it back. I’m not sorry,” Kai blurts out quickly. “I’m just saying it was uncalled for. I shouldn’t have… been so harsh.”

Kai freezes when he hears the subtle sniffle. Sehun raises a hand to his face and wipes his cheek. Kai swallows. Is he… crying?

“Ash…” Kai licks his lips. “Sehun?”

Sehun sniffles his nose again and doesn’t say anything. Kai lets out a shaky breath and drops his backpack to the ground before he walks over to Sehun’s bed. Should he even care? But he has never seen Sehun cry in ages. The last time Sehun had cried he was like 13 or something. His toe was bitten by a red ant and he cried like a baby because he was convinced it was a scorpion. Kai laughed at him, of course.

“Why do you… hate me so much?” Sehun asks in a raspy whisper and Kai halts in his tracks.

“Wh-what?” Kai vacantly blinks. Is that why he’s upset? That’s bloody unlikely.

“Why… what did I ever do so bad that you can’t… be even a little nice to me?”

“I… am nice to you… sometimes.”

Sehun stands up abruptly and turns around to face Kai. Even in the dim lamplight, Kai could discern Sehun’s red eyes. “I don’t want to be friends with you,” he says and Kai’s heart clenches. “But I don’t want to be enemies with you either. Would you have… reacted that way if it had been Shixun?”

Kai stares at him, honestly baffled. “What are you talking about?”

“If it were Jungkook. Or Yixing. Or Xiomara. Would you have called them a freak… a creep? Would you have treated them like they’re any less than a family? So why am I so abhorrent to you? Do you ever think that I might be silently suffering, too? That I have feelings which you hurt all the damn time, too?!” A tear trickles down Sehun’s cheek as Kai gapes at him, holding his breath. It looks like Sehun’s is shaking like a leaf.

“Seh—”

“Whatever the heck I did to you that you hate me so much, I’m sorry! I’m fucking sorry, okay?!” he yells with his eyes brimming with furious tears. “I never mean to hurt anybody and I obviously did something to you. So just cut me some slack and stop treating me like I’m some worthless trash to you.”

Kai lurches forward and Sehun reflexively retreats until his back is smashed against the wall behind him. “Stop! Okay? Stop!” Kai hisses, slamming his fist into the wall beside Sehun’s head. “I never said you were some worthless trash to me, okay?! I never treated you any less than a family! Just because I love picking on you, it doesn’t mean I look at you any differently than the others.”

Sehun’s ballooned, watery eyes gawk at Kai in horror. Their bodies are almost pressed together and they can feel each other’s breath on their faces. “It just… hurts so much,” Sehun whispers, lowering his pathetic gaze and lets another set of tears fall. “And I’m so tired.”

Kai wordlessly stares at him with his heart swelling inside him. He’s so close. If he just leans in a little, he could kiss him. He wants to kiss him. He wants to kiss Sehun’s wet cheeks. He wants to kiss the eyelashes that are clumped together because of his tears. He wants to kiss Sehun stupid hard that he forgets how to breathe. “What hurts?” Kai breathes out, blinking languidly. Sehun is breathing heavily, keeping his eyes low.

“You,” Sehun exhales and Kai barely hears it.

Swallowing, Kai withdraws from him and drags in a long breath. “ _I_ … hurt you.”

Sehun closes his eyes. “You… really do,” he sobs again. “And you do it so well.”

Kai lets out a breathy laugh. Oh, if only Sehun knew how well he hurts Kai. “Then, tell me something, Sehun Asherton. Do _you_ accept me as your friend or a family or anything at all?”

Sehun looks up at him. “I don’t think I want you… in my life, Kai.”

That crushes Kai and shatters his heart. But he doesn’t let it show. He nods his head. “Fine. I can work with that.”

Sehun wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand before he hurries towards the door. When he had stormed out of the room, Kai walks over to his bed and sinks to the ground. He leans back against the bedframe and slouches forward, burrowing his face in his knees.


	12. That Was Hot

He doesn’t know why he’s crying, but he couldn’t stop it. He wants to stop it. No matter how hard he tries, the tears just won’t stop. His cheeks are wet, his lips are laced with salt, the inside of his mouth is dry and his head is pounding. As he races down the stairs, he gasps for air and the bitter cold wind surges along his windpipe, making it only harder for him to breathe. He just couldn’t bottle it in anymore. From the moment his fate changed right to this moment confronting Kai in the room, Sehun has been nothing but miserable. Tonight, with Gwenna gone and Kai exploding in anger, calling him a Freak, he feels lonelier than ever. It really shouldn’t be a big deal, right? But Sehun couldn’t ignore how evidently Kai had proved that he isn’t and never will be the man he loves. He just isn’t Kai. Not _that_ Kai. Perhaps Sehun had been fooling himself this long, convincing himself that he had given up on Kai. Maybe he hasn’t. Maybe a part of him is still clinging onto the hope that he can have a happy ending with Kai. He knows tonight that the hope still exists. He needs to get rid of it for good.

Kai is probably mocking him right now in the room and he will probably make fun of him tomorrow, have a good laugh about how pathetic Sehun was with Kris and his friends. But at that instant, when Kai had him pinned to the wall, Sehun wanted it all to be real again. He wanted to hug Kai right then and there, cling onto him, sob into his shoulder, and tell him all the secrets that suffocate him every day. But when he thought about Kai might react, Sehun shut him off completely. He’d sneer and scoff at Sehun’s face. He’d only say so many more cruel things that would rip Sehun’s heart apart. He’d push Sehun away and possibly hurt him as he promised he would. Why would Sehun even tell him anything when Kai wouldn’t give a shit about him?

However, Kai did look a little perturbed when he had Sehun pressed against the wall. Maybe he was flustered about how Sehun came to know about his Flair. That was a stupid move and Sehun needs to come up with a good excuse. But he doubts Kai would even bother to ask him about it after this.

Sehun doesn’t rest until he is standing in front of Chanyeol’s room. He knocks on the door and furiously wipes his cheeks. He knocks again when Chanyeol doesn’t answer and he feels a little guilty. After a moment, the door creaks open and Chanyeol shows up, rubbing an eye with the hilt of his palm. “Sehun?” he mutters in shock and looks back into the room. Kyungsoo is all tucked in his bed. “Oh, my God. What happened to you?” Chanyeol whispers with his eyes bulging and he steps out of the room before silently closing the door behind him. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he grabs Sehun by his arms and Sehun falls forward into his embrace. Chanyeol freezes for a second and slowly wraps his arms around Sehun. “It’s okay. It’s okay,” he awkwardly pats on Sehun’s back as Sehun tries to swallow the sob that begin to rise in his throat again. “Jesus Christ, what happened?”

Sehun pulls back and draws in a shaky, heavy breath. He closes his eyes and unblocks his mind, letting his thoughts flow freely for the first time in months. He then looks up at Chanyeol. “I have to tell you something,” he says in the tiniest voice and Chanyeol blinks.

“You had a row with Kai?” he asks.

“Yeah. It’s okay, you can read my mind.” Sehun wasn’t kidding when he said he is tired. He really is. And he just wants someone to be there for him, to lend a shoulder for him to lean on. “I have to tell you something. Something important. I just can’t do this all by myself anymore.”

“All right, all right. Come on.” He envelopes an arm around Sehun and urges him to walk towards the stairs. “You look like a proper mess.”

Sehun leans his weight onto Chanyeol as they make their way to the corridor. Then perching on the railings, Sehun faces the dark lawn as Chanyeol faces him. Sehun tries to calm his breathing and body, so that he isn’t shaking anymore.

He brings his head up when Chanyeol takes his hands. “Your mind is befuddled. I can’t catch any of your thoughts,” he says, frowning.

Sehun sucks in a long breath and pulls his hands away. “Chanyeol, I… I need you to not freak out.”

Chanyeol nods his head. “What is it, Sehun? Your mind is just full of… Kai.”

Sehun swallows and lets his thoughts shift. To the beginning of it all. Chanyeol keeps his eyes focused on Sehun’s.

 

* * *

 

He trusts Chanyeol enough. In fact, Chanyeol is the only person Sehun truly trusts right now. But he isn’t sure Chanyeol would trust him after this. “Cha… Chanyeol?” he calls after being silent for a very long stretch of time.

Chanyeol finally blinks his eyes and turns his head away, letting out a loud breath. “Wow,” he exhales, rubbing his temples. “Wow… What the…”

“Look. I’d understand if you don’t believe—”

“I do,” Chanyeol rasps and clasps a hand to Sehun’s shoulder. “I do, I do, I really do.”

Sehun feels exhausted and he doesn’t even fight the fatigue. “You… do?”

“I just can’t… fathom something like that,” he looks flabbergasted and bloodless. “This is… crazy. You… your Flair. How could you… Oh, my God. Sehun, this is maddening, you know that, right? I can read your mind, so I have to believe you. But no one else—”

“No one else can know, Chanyeol,” Sehun grabs his hand and squeezes it ferociously.

“Okay, okay. I’m not sure anyone would even believe if I told them,” he pants a little and leans back against the pillar. “What I can’t believe is that… you’re living with all this… shit and you’re still… Wait. So… you’re not the same Sehun?”

Sehun sighs. “I haven’t really figured that out yet. My aunt told me that my soul is just my soul. This body has experienced things and it has stored all the memories and experiences. She said as I try to unlock them, I might slowly fade away from the other fate, maybe even forget it and will finally belong in this one. But I haven’t had much success in accessing the memories of this fate. So I honestly don’t know if I’m the same person or not.”

Chanyeol slowly nods, aimlessly staring at the night. “What about me? Am I still the same?”

Sehun had left out the part where they were briefly seeing each other. He doesn’t need Chanyeol to know that. “You’re the same, as far as I know.”

“That’s a relief. So it’s just Shixun, your mother, father, family, and Kai that’s different?”

Sehun drops his gaze.

“Hey, Sehun,” Chanyeol whispers, squeezing Sehun’s hand back. “Do you… still like Kai?”

It takes Sehun a moment to respond. His insides churn painfully and he shakes his hung head. “No.”

Chanyeol heaves a sigh. “I was afraid you’d say yes. I mean, you’re not mental to like a dick like him. But… you still love _him_ , don’t you?”

Sehun raises his head. His throat burns. He’s worried he might cry again. “I wish I could just forget him.”

“Sehun,” Chanyeol frowns sadly, rubbing Sehun’s knuckle with his thumb. “I’m so sorry.”

Sehun doesn’t think Chanyeol knows how serious this Destiny Manipulation Flair is. Chanyeol doesn’t understand how different his fate and life would have been had Sehun not altered Grace’s destiny. Because if he had, he would not be this chill about it.

“Chanyeol… _I’m_ sorry.”

Chanyeol looks confused.

“I changed all of your lives. It was never my call to change yours.”

“Well, I’m not exactly complaining. Looks like things turned shit in that life,” he smiles a little and that comforts Sehun. “If you did it once, can you do it again?”

“I’m not sure I want to meddle with the universe again. It’s already punishing me enough for messing with it,” Sehun lets out a breathy laugh, but his throat is sore.

“You miss him, don’t you?” he asks, keeping that smile on his lips.

Sehun bows his head. “So stupidly much,” he sighs. “I miss everyone. Well, not you. You’re still here.”

“And I’m going to be here. For you, okay?”

Sehun takes further comfort in the assurance Chanyeol’s smile offered. “Thanks.”

“Now, get your ass up. You need to bloody catch some sleep. I can make some room on my bed.”

“No, it’s okay,” Sehun says and stands up. “I’ve bothered you enough for one night.”

“Are you kidding me? This has been the most exciting night of my life. I seriously need to know more.” He flashes a toothy grin. Sehun still couldn’t believe how easily Chanyeol is taking this.

“And I’ll tell you. Everything. Tomorrow. I have to go back to my room. I can’t exactly stay away forever.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Yeah.”

Chanyeol gets on his feet and pulls Sehun into a gentle embrace. “Don’t worry, Sehun. I’m with you now. And you don’t have to suffer in silence anymore.”

Sehun presses his nose into Chanyeol’s shoulder and lets out a tired breath. “Thank you, Chanyeol.” He withdraws from his friend’s arms and starts toward his room.

He comes to an abrupt stop at the second floor of the tower when he hears a subtle rustling noise in the dimly lit hallway. Swallowing, Sehun only perks his head behind a wall and gawks at the figure aimlessly roaming at the end of the hallway. It’s Kai. He’s just looking around, prancing here and there, and twisting the knobs of the doors that have always been locked. Sehun’s heart hammers against his chest. What the hell is he doing?

Then pulling away, he shakes his head and proceeds up the stairs. Whatever that concerns Kai is none of his business hereon. Sehun is entirely done with Kai. He doesn’t try to be quiet when he enters the room, knowing that Kai isn’t in there.

That’s when Sehun almost drops to the floor with his heart jumping out of his mouth. His blood runs murderously cold when he sees Kai in his bed, snoring softly with his arm draped over his eyes and the blanket covering his lower body. Sehun takes a couple of steps back before turning on his heel and sprints back downstairs.

The hallway is empty.

* * *

 

 

 

Kai regains his consciousness when the bell chimes. It’s Sunday, so it only chimes twice. Groaning, he shifts his weight on the bed, reluctant to open his eyes and greet the dumbass sunlight, which is already mocking him behind his closed eyelids. His body is tired, but he had slept better than most nights in spite of having suffered the worst encounter with Sehun. There wasn’t any nightmares for once. Well, if you don’t count the horror of Sehun saying he doesn’t want him in his life anymore.

He finally gives in and opens his eyes. Sehun’s bed is empty and it doesn’t look like it’s been slept in or he had made it up. Kai lets out a sigh and rolls over to stare at the ceiling. He wants to just sleep forever and never get out of bed. He sits up and scrubs his face with his palms. Did Sehun even come back to the room last night? Kai wasn’t exactly waiting for him anyway. He doesn’t care even if Sehun never comes back.

Who is he trying to fool, seriously?

He stands up and walks over to Sehun’s bed. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, he plants his head in his hands with his elbows propped on his knees. Why is he such a soppy idiot? He feels like a complete namby-pamby moron. He grabs Sehun’s pillow and hugs it to his chest.

_“I don’t think I want you in my life.”_

How is Kai supposed to live with that when he wants Sehun so bad in _his_ life? When it already feels like Kai’s life revolves around Sehun. Of all the people, why must Kai fall for that motherfucker?

He hurls Sehun’s pillow back on the bed and shoots upright. Things will always be strained between them. This is their relationship. There is nothing Kai can do about it because it just how it is. It’s weird. Everything between them is weird. And he is just as tired. Sehun isn’t the only one who’s tired.

Kai is finished with pining, longing for the one boy he is willing to get his heart ripped out for. Years. Bloody fucking years. He’s been yearning for Sehun for years. But all that Kai ever is to Sehun is a nuisance. Sehun had spelled it out quite clearly last night.

So fuck this.

Fuck Sehun. Fuck his love for him. Fuck everything.

He takes a long, deserving shower. He notices how dirty the soles of his feet are while washing them and makes a note to himself to tell the cleaners to mop the floor of the room or something. The aftershave stings a little when he applies it to his freshly shaven jaw. He needs to go see his mother and she would definitely nag him if he showed up with a stubbly chin. He gels his hair and sweeps it to the side, although some of the long bangs tend to fall forward. He trades the silver hoop on his ear for a black stud before he steps out of the bathroom.

He pulls on a long-sleeved light grey Henley shirt and yanks the sleeves to his elbows, unbuttoning the buttons by the collar after hauling on a pair of black fitted jeans, and goes for black lace-up boots. Then grabbing his wayfarer sunglasses, he storms out of the room. See if he gives two fucks about Sehun from now on.

He doesn’t find his mother in her office. He bites back on a curse and makes a promise to himself to call her later if she isn’t back. Perhaps Kris had heard something from someone. Kai proceeds towards the feast hall where he knows he’ll find Kris if he’s already down for breakfast, which he probably is. Many students are out and about, enjoying the pleasant weekend, making the most of summer. Some of them are sprawled on the lawns, laughing about useless things. Eyes turn in his way as usual when he walks past them. “Morning, Kai,” one of the girls sitting on the railings giggles and Kai ignores her. Shit. He should probably be friendlier and put himself out there now that he’s sworn off Sehun. Like how a junkie would swear off drugs. Sehun is sort of a horrible drug, too. The worst kind of all. That bastard.

The feast hall is always chaotic on Sundays, but even before Kai enters it, he hears the uproarious cacophony of cheers and cries. People are always excited about breakfast, but not _this_ excited. Are they serving Honey Almond Polenta and Croustades today? He is a little late for breakfast, but the hall is still jam-packed with people and all of them are gathered at one end of the hall.

Kai spots Kris in the crowd, needless to say with Shixun settled on his lap. They’re playing spin-the-bottle. Early in the morning. What the hell… Well, they are Flairers after all. They do everything out of the ordinary. Right when he starts to move closer to Kris, he comes to halt when everyone begins to chant, “Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!”

He looks to the boy who stands up. Kai recalls that boy. The one Kris was hitting on. Luhan or whatever his name is. Then Sehun stands up with a sheepish grin plastered to his face. Luhan takes his seat on the table with his legs swung over the edges. The chant continues and it begins to painfully pound in Kai’s ears.

“Oh, come on!” Chanyeol laughs violently, nudging Sehun closer to Luhan. Now standing between Luhan’s legs, Sehun props his hands on the table on either sides of Luhan and leans forward, still with that dopey smile. The crowd goes wild and that instant, Kai wants to just evaporate into the air and disappear forever. He lifelessly watches Sehun’s lips touch Luhan’s and kiss them. Kai feels like his insides are swelling and his blood is thickening. Of course, he knows Sehun has kissed other people. He knows Sehun has probably done more than just kissing. But it still hurts all the same.

He never hated Sehun as much as he hates him right this instant. It’s a game. It is a fucking game they’re playing. Kai never would have kissed another person no matter whatever the fuck it is they’re playing. Yeah, because he’s hopelessly in love with Sehun, not the other way around.

When Sehun pulls back from the kiss, he smiles at Luhan who claps a hand to Sehun’s chest. “Woo! That was hot!” someone cries in the crowd and they laugh. Kai clenches his fists. Looks like he’s more tired than Sehun is. He exhales sharply through his nose and struts over to Kris.

“Whoa! Look who’s here!” it was fucking Suho who cries, waving his arms in Kai’s direction.

“Don’t you blithering morons think it’s too early for this?” Kai snaps and it quiets down a little as every head turns to gape at him. Sehun isn’t even looking at him. Kai grits his teeth and turns to Kris. “Is Mom back?”

Kris shakes his head, tightening his arms around his boyfriend. “No. I looked. But well, now that you’re here, don’t be a party pooper and join us.”

“Yeah, join us, Kai,” Baekhyun says.

“Shut your mouth before I remove it from your face.” Kai spits and Baekhyun blinks blankly before recoiling.

“He’s too chicken to play such a daunting game,” Shixun scoffs. Daunting game, his ass.

“Well, I’ve never seen you participate in any of these games or parties, Kai,” says someone whose name Kai doesn’t even know. He looks like a senior.

“He’s got balls big enough to take down the toughest Flairer, but shits bricks when it comes to games,” Kris says.

Kai rolls his eyes. “Like I’ve got the time for your dumb games,” he scoffs and turns on his heel to leave.

“Whoa. He really is scared to play, isn’t he?” someone says and that’s when Kai stops in his tracks and grips his fists.

He shoves a guy aside and grabs the water bottle on the table before giving it a fierce spin. He doesn’t wait for it to stop and deliberately grabs hold of it again when it points directly at Sehun, stopping it on purpose. “Well, fuck you,” he pulls his sunglasses off, hurls the bottle to the floor and steps onto the bench before he climbs onto the table. He walks across the table and jumps onto the ground. Sehun’s eyes are almost hanging out of their sockets when Kai advances forward and he retreats a couple of steps, but before he could back any further away, Kai grabs his hair at the back of his head and clutches it to hold Sehun in place. The entire hall falls deadly silent that one could have heard a pin drop, but the wet sound of Kai’s lips smashing against Sehun’s filled the hall just fine. Kai’s blood flows like fiery lava in his veins and he burns completely with his lips clamping Sehun’s. He doesn’t pull away. Instead, he yanks Sehun’s hair to break the kiss and shoves Sehun back. Something like horror crosses Sehun’s face as he pants with his mouth hanging open. Kai’s own lips throb and his knees want to buckle. But he doesn’t the vulnerability show. Then cocking an eyebrow at Sehun with a very faint smirk lurking on the corner of his lips, Kai puts his shades back on before he storms out the hall, stomping as fast as his feet could stomp.


	13. Stolen First Kiss

Does he care anymore? No. He most certainly doesn’t. All of his dreams and fantasies are going to remain as dreams and fantasies, so why should he bother anyway? He romanticised every moment he would have with Sehun way too much, even though he knew nothing would ever happen between them. The innocence of first kiss, the thrill of first confession, the rush of first touch. Kai knows he would never have any of that with Sehun and he is only _now_ beginning to accept it. He is mad, really mad. But mostly mad at himself for being an idiot all this while, desperately clinging onto some kind of shit hope that Sehun will see him as a man and not a boy of rivalry. Sure, Kai hasn’t exactly been the most charming courter ever, but if he hadn’t been such a jerk, Sehun never would have even noticed his existence. Here’s a fact: Sehun hates Kai more than Kai can ever hate him. He is never going to let Kai in even a little. He just doesn’t like Kai. The animosity just continued from their childhood and it turns out Kai has been the only one who has developed such convoluted feelings for the other. Of course, if Sehun is willing to drop the acrimony between them and ease the bad blood, Kai would die to make him the happiest person in the world.

Okay. That isn’t the first kiss Kai had always dreamt of. He had taken Sehun by force. He had shaken Sehun up. Sehun probably loathes him even more now and Kai can only give so many damns.

“Kai!”

Kai doesn’t look back when he hears Sehun’s voice boom into the corridor. He jogs up the steps on the corridor and glances to the students stretched out on the lawn below with the sun showering them with its rays.

“Kai!” he catches up to Kai and grabs his shirt sleeve before he yanks it, spinning Kai around. His cheeks are crimson, but his eyes are furious. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

Kai pulls his sleeve free and turns around to walk away. Well, it doesn’t seem like Sehun is too pleased about the kiss. Shockers.

“Why do you keep doing this, you good-for-nothing bastard?!” Sehun screeches, grabbing Kai’s shirt at the back. “Why did you just do that? To prove that you’re always above me? To prove that you don’t care shit about how I feel?! You just want to be superior, don’t you? You’re just an asshole who wants to trample over everyone! You’re a psychotic—”

Kai twirls around, takes his sunglasses off and catches Sehun’s wrist before he shoves Sehun against the wall of the corridor. Pinning his wrist to the wall, Kai entraps Sehun between the wall and himself. “Great, you’ve finally cracked the code,” he hisses, pressing his other hand to the side of Sehun’s waist. “I’m a first-class asshole, aren’t I? Aren’t I?!” Sehun winces, gaping hard at Kai. “Superior, asshole, psycho, good-for-nothing bastard. What else? Tell me, what else?!” he grips Sehun’s wrist harder and slams it against the wall. “Arrogant, snobbish, jackass, prick, reckless, _heartless_ , foolish, puerile, moronic, an all-round obnoxious fucker, did I leave anything out? You know what else I am? A man, a person, a stupid idiot who wants things that he can never have. The kiss doesn’t bother you, does it? It’s the fact that _I_ did it bothers you. You seemed to have enjoyed it rather well when that poncy git had his tongue in your mouth. I get it. You hate the sight of me.”

“ _You_ … made me hate you,” Sehun’s voice barely escapes his lips as his eyes confusedly searches for the answers in Kai’s expression. “And… I don’t… understand.”

“Of course, you don’t. You’re just like everyone else, who doesn’t understand me,” Kai lowers his voice, keeping his eyes on Sehun’s quivering lips. “I don’t blame you, though. It’s not like you to understand me, anyway.” He releases his grip on Sehun’s wrist and slides his hand up to Sehun’s palm before clasping it, slipping his fingers between Sehun’s, intertwining them. _“You don’t know the hell I go through sometimes, Sehun. At nights. The nightmares. The horrible things I dream about. And when I wake up, I know I’m still alive and I’m not lost in the darkness when I look at you. Sleeping there, so close to me, yet so far. I know I’m still sane when I look at you. And when I’m so scared to close my eyes again, I have the courage to do it because of the assurance you give me unknowingly. Because I know that if I get lost in that darkness, I would have seen your face, I would have known you’re all right. I… love you, Sehun. Even if you will never love me back.”_

Kai doesn’t tell him any of it. It’s his own hell to suffer with. His own pain. And Sehun is the worst pain of all. Sehun’s palm is warm against his own, as warm as Sehun’s breath that’s grazing Kai’s lips. “I’m sorry I kissed you,” Kai mutters finally. “I didn’t want to. I just… I was just trying to annoy you.”

“I know,” Sehun says, still frowning hard. Kai lets go of his hand and steps back. Sehun doesn’t pull away from the wall and heavily slumps against it as Kai rubs his jaw, leaning himself against the railings of the corridor. “I suppose it doesn’t mean anything to you. And it’s probably just a stunt of yours.” He looks up at Kai with a hurt look on his face. “But don’t ever do anything like that again if you don’t want me to hurt you.”

Kai scoffs. “Why? Do your lips burn like they’ve been touched by acid? Am I really that spiteful?” Kai doesn’t know why that clenches his heart, but he smirks.

“Just,” he closes his eyes momentarily. “Don’t.”

Kai blinks at him. “You… did kiss _that_ boy.”

“ _That_ was a game,” he snaps. “What _you_ did will just become a huge news in FLAC. Maybe that’s what you’re after. I don’t know. I really don’t know anything about your motives and agendas.”

“Whoa. Calm down. It’s not like you’re exclusive or anything.” Kai rolls his eyes and glances away, squinting at the sunlight.

“Actually he is,” a foreign voice says and Kai looks to Chanyeol who climbs up the stairs. What the hell is he doing here?

“What?” Kai cocks an eyebrow.

Chanyeol smiles at Sehun and drapes an arm around Sehun’s shoulders. “Sehun here is quite exclusive, trust me, buddy,” Chanyeol says and chuckles. “Aren’t you, Sehun?”

Sehun is staring at Chanyeol, but he doesn’t say anything.

“What are you blabbering about?”

“Oh,” Chanyeol pats on Sehun’s shoulder. “He’s in love. With someone.”

“Chanyeol,” Sehun murmurs under his breath.

“Kai ought to know he’s messing with someone else’s boy. So, yes, Kai. Sehun is awfully in love with someone, so you best not go around making a scene of kissing him and shit, even though you just wanted a show.”

Kai pulls away from the railings and aimlessly stares at Sehun. “You’re… you’re… dating someone?” it sounds a little too raspy than intended, but Kai could barely breathe at that moment.

“Meh… More or less,” Chanyeol shrugs. “Won’t you say so?” he looks to Sehun with a smug smile.

“Can we not talk about this?” Sehun sighs. “Kai, have you heard anything from Dillan?”

“Hold on. What does he mean you’re _in_ _love_?” Kai asks, stepping closer.

“It means he’s _in love_ , Kai,” Chanyeol snorts. “Taken. Attached. It’s rather mutual, actually. Why does it bother you?”

Kai swallows. “It… doesn’t. I’m just shocked someone would… have the patience to go out with him… Are you really… in love… with… someone?” he asks Sehun now.

“I am, Kai. Okay? Why are we even talking about this?” Sehun groans exasperatedly. “Back to my point. You need to stop being a dick if you’d even want us to be on neutral terms. I can forgive you what you did in there, but I also did some stuff to you apparently. So we’re even now. Hereon, you stay clear of my path and I’ll stay clear of yours.”

“Right. I have to go look for...” Kai trails off, sucking in a breath and hurtles down the steps. He clasps a hand to his mouth and wipes it with his breaths quickening. He licks his lips and blinks away the tears that begin to sting his eyes. 

* * *

 

 

 

“Did you see his face?” Chanyeol asks as soon as Kai is out of sight.

“Why would you tell him that?” Sehun frowns at his friend.

Chanyeol shrugs. “It’s funny. He doesn’t know you’re in love with the older version of _him_ ,” he laughs and Sehun shakes his head, rolling his eyes.

“It’s not funny one bit,” he hits Chanyeol’s abs with the back of his hand and leans back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. “Just when I was ready to completely ignore absolutely everything about him…”

“You gotta admit, though,” Chanyeol mutters, resting his back on the wall beside Sehun. “That was pretty darn hot. Now I see why you’re so in love with him.”

“I’m not in love with him.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure. The other, hotter version of him, I mean.”

Sehun stays still for a moment, trying to clear his thoughts. He was terrified when Kai stopped the bottle on him. He almost gasped when Kai grabbed his hair. And he most definitely was almost knocked for six when Kai’s warm, soft lips kissed him. At that instant, Sehun realized he had forgotten how Kai’s lips feel and it hurt him. He’s both scared and anticipating the day he’ll completely forget how Kai’s kisses and his skin felt. But today, Kai had reminded him of that feeling again, even if it didn’t exactly feel like when Sehun kissed Kai for the first time and every other time following that. It was a very brief, rough kiss that didn’t generate any pleasure, but it sure did trigger a hell a lot of pain. Kai did it because it doesn’t affect him in any way. He has probably kissed most of the people in here, but he claimed the trophy by subjugating his worst rival.

“I have to ask this,” Chanyeol says. “Do you really… not like Kai?”

Sehun’s eyes widen as he hastily shook his head. “No. Well, I did sort of hope that maybe… maybe we’re meant to be… at first when I got here. Then I just realized I’d be an idiot to keep believing that. I don’t like him. He’s… weird and it is just impossible.” And Sehun has never been more honest.

“Really? You don’t even like him like that a little?”

“I don’t think I like him like _anything_. Not even a little.”

“That’s why you looked like you were gonna throw up when he kissed you.”

“It _was_ horrible.”

Chanyeol laughs and Sehun sniggers. “It must be difficult, then. Loving him and hating him the same time.”

Sehun steps away from the wall and stands before Chanyeol. “He’s not Kai, Chanyeol. Well, he is. But if Kai had been like that, I never would have loved him.”

Chanyeol slowly nods his head. “Was the other Kai more serious?”

“He sort of was,” Sehun smiles to himself. “He was perfect.” He was hurt, he was broken and he came to Sehun to be fixed. Maybe that’s why Sehun loves him so.

“Right,” Chanyeol pats on Sehun’s back. “Shall we return to the game or do you wanna do something else?”

“Can I just crash your room for a while? I feel like I need to sleep.” Last night, he saw Kai roaming in the hallway when Kai was asleep in his bed, which was probably a hallucination due to extreme fatigue. “I’m so sleepy, I barely slept last night.”

“Sure.”


	14. 101 Ways to Hurt Someone

He stops in his tracks and sucks in a trembling breath. He needs to know who Sehun is in love with or else he might never be able to breathe calmly again. He furiously blinks his watery eyes and turns around. With a foot raised to the first step, he freezes when he hears Chanyeol’s voice. He halts at the bottom of the stairs and listens.

“I don’t like him. He’s… weird.” Sehun says.

“Really? You don’t even like him like that a little?”

“I don’t think I like him like _anything_. Not even a little.”

“That’s why you looked like you were gonna throw up when he kissed you.”

“It was horrible.”

Kai’s breath hitches and he fights the urge to cover his ears. Just when he hears them snicker, he turns on his heel and practically jogs away from there, but he isn’t walking fast enough. The pain is so real, so physical. It hurts so bad. When he reaches the library, he takes refuge in there and doesn’t stop until he is curled into a ball on the floor as he buries his face in his knees.

 

* * *

 

 He wants the pain in his chest to die away. He wants to be comforted, but there is no comfort. Kai tries to shake the agony away, shoving it to the furthest corner of his mind as he restlessly weaves his way to the telephone booth. He is tired of sitting in the library, pretending to be looking for books that could help him with the upcoming PTM project while waiting for some sort of news to reach him. Also, this is the quietest and less frequented place during the weekends. Kai is in no position to hear gossips and whispers about his little stunt in the feast hall in the morning. Of course, people are going to talk and of course, Kai will have to deal with it. But he would have loved to deal with it before he was made aware of Sehun’s relationship status or the fact that Sehun had called him _weird_. What the heck even? Who could Sehun possibly be dating? Whoever it is, he or she is not going to FLAC. Is it something that happened recently or has it been going on for a while now? Why is Sehun so secretive about it, then? Well, not secretive enough since he just bluntly admitted to being in love with someone in front of _Kai_. He did it like he was confessing to Kai that he had sausage and jello for breakfast. That’s how blatant it was. All these questions and thoughts are mentally murdering Kai.

But worst of all, Sehun is in love. He is in love. Sehun is in love and not with Kai. He bloody _hates_ Kai.

He had skipped lunch, mostly because he had completely lost his appetite with his stomach tossing and turning, and when he walked out of the library, the sky was already darkening. His mother still isn’t back and he hasn’t heard anything from her either. It feels as though he would go crazy if he waited any longer, with Sehun’s voice, which was relentlessly echoing in his head, inflicting more brain-numbing pain.

The warden rises to his feet from his station in the corridor. It’s a new guy. The second one this month. But this one’s a little too old. The wardens are constantly changed because of the sloppy job the Pootles do at keeping the Flairers in line. Kai had stopped bothering to care after the fifth warden that was assigned to the students’ dormitories. “I need to make a phone call,” he mindlessly mutters when he reaches the telephone booth, but the warden stops him.

“Do you have a permission slip?” the warden asks, adjusting his uniform cap.

Kai rolls his eyes. “My mother is the headmistress of the school.”

The warden smirks. “Guess how many times I’ve heard _that_ today.”

Arching his eyebrows, Kai groans. “Are you kidding me? I really am her son!”

“Well, son or not, you’ll need a permission slip to make a phone call.” The old man shrugs and Kai grimly stares at him for a beat.

Then cursing under his breath, he spins around to walk away when a hiss escapes his mouth, almost crashing into a person. “Shit!” he gasps and staggers back with the steaming hot liquid spewed all over his chest. The sharp scent of roasted coffee beans stings Kai’s senses more than the hot coffee seeping into his grey shirt, leaving a warm, dark splotch on his chest.

“I’m so sorry!” a pair of milky white hands with whiter knuckles comes up to Kai’s chest as if to dust the coffee-soaked shirt.

“Stop!” Kai snaps, swatting the hands off. “You’re only making it worse,” he groans.

“I’m sorry. You just turned all of a sudden,” the man mutters as he crouches to the ground to pick up the spilt coffee cup. “My mistake, too.” He rises to his full height and Kai glares at the blonde man for a moment. He looks incredibly young and youthful, if not a little pale, with a beautiful blonde mane of hair.

“Who are you?” Kai asks, scowling. “I’ve never seen you here.” But then again, he wouldn’t be surprised if he is a student because Kai is shit when it comes to remembering people’s faces and names. However, he’s pretty sure he would have noticed if someone this gorgeous studied here.

“He’s my son,” the warden cuts in and hands the blonde man a packet of tissues.

“Oh,” came the response from Kai.

“Ren,” the blonde man introduces himself, offering a coffee-stained hand. Then looking at his own hand, the man laughs before he lets the hand drop to his side. He lowers his gaze and bites his lower lip. “Again. Sorry.”

Kai doesn’t bother to present the guy his name or any other nice nuances. He can’t make a phone call, but the warden can have his son visit him with a hot cup of coffee? Without lingering there, Kai struts away in the direction of his dorm tower. He slurs out a couple curses, looking down at his shirt that is sticking to his chest like a second skin.

As he jogs up the stairs, he wonders if Kris is even a tad bit bothered of his mother’s whereabouts or whatever that has happened to Gwenna. Or is it just Kai who is super agitated and fulsome today? By far, this has been the worst weekend of his life. Let’s count all the screwed up things that has happened this weekend:–

  * Gwenna is missing.
  * Sehun told him that he doesn’t want Kai in his love.
  * Sehun cried. (This is probably the worst thing that has happened, though.)
  * And he had cried because of Kai.
  * Kai had the world’s worst first kiss with the boy of his dreams. (He literally deserves an award for fucking things up.)
  * Sehun not enjoying his kiss one bit.
  * Sehun thinking he’s a psychopath. (That’s how much he must have hated having Kai’s lips on his. Okay, this sort of hurts the most.)
  * Sehun felt like he might throw up when Kai kissed him.
  * Sehun not wanting Kai anywhere near him.
  * Sehun not wanting to do anything with Kai from now on.
  * Sehun admitting he’s in love with someone else. (Like, Kai wasn’t expecting Sehun to be in love with him or anything because that’ll never happen, but maybe a part of Kai was at least hoping, crazily wishing for the impossible.)
  * Kai realizing that he has no chance whatsoever with Sehun.
  * Kai realizing he has no room in Sehun’s heart, not now, not ever.
  * And now, he’s drenched in coffee. It’s his favourite shirt. Damn it.



It’s amazing, really. Kai started the day off, admirably optimistic and was all ready to look through rose-coloured spectacles about this whole Sehun issue. Now, the day has come to an end and he’s dirty, messy, and in so much pain. He feels nauseated and fatigued. Maybe it’s all these muddled up thoughts about Sehun that’s making his head pound, along with the heat and stickiness of the coffee.

 

* * *

 

 

“You can just sleep here if it’ll be too awkward for you guys,” Chanyeol offers politely as Sehun pulls his sneakers on, perched on the edge of Chanyeol’s bed. His mattress is rock-hard as though it has never been slept in. However, Sehun is grateful for the peaceful sleep that he had. He needs to start preparing for his classes tomorrow, so he couldn’t stay away from his room forever. “I’m sure Kyungsoo will be okay with it. Right?” he turns to the boy who is settled in his bed at the opposite wall with a thick book splayed open on his lap. He raises his head and gives a curt nod before he drops his gaze back to the book. Sehun once thought the boy is mute, but Chanyeol assured him that he speaks.

“I’ll be fine,” Sehun declares with a smile and rises to his feet. “Thanks for letting me crash here, though.”

“You’re welcome. Oh and Dillan isn’t back. You asked me to inform you if she’s back.”

“Oh… yeah,” Sehun massages the back of his neck and eyes the door, gesturing Chanyeol to follow him. If Dillan hasn’t returned, she’s probably still looking for Gwenna with the others.

When they are out of the room, Sehun closes the door. He frowns and heaves a sigh. Before he went to sleep, he gave this whole Gwenna situation some thoughts and he couldn’t help but feel the acid in his stomach bubbling up to his throat. “Chanyeol… you know my aunt’s missing, right?”

“Yeah. You told me. No, well, I read it from your mind last night,” he pauses for a second. “Wait, is that why you’re waiting for Dillan?”

Sehun nods his head. “I’m worried about her. If they still haven’t found her… I was thinking about something.”

“What?”

He gnaws on his lip for a moment. “Altering her destiny. Just tweaking it a little so that I can prevent her from going missing.”

Chanyeol blinks as he stares at Sehun. “Can you… do it?”

“Well, that’s the problem. I haven’t really got the hang of it and I’m kind of scared to mess with the universe and all again.” He starts walking towards the stairs and Chanyeol tags along.

“So, what? You _can’t_ do it?”

“I’m not sure what else I’ll change if I do that.”

“Whoa. I don’t think it’ll be a superb idea to do that if you think something could go horribly wrong. Again…”

“Exactly,” Sehun sighs. “I’ve done it twice and both times, some kind of shit ruined my life. Well, it’s just an option, though. Which I hope I won’t need to use.”

“Dude,” Chanyeol rests a hand on Sehun’s shoulder. “How about you let fate get you through this, instead of you meddling with it? That way, you won’t need to be all guilty and stuff when something goes wrong.”

“You’re right,” he exhales heavily. “Good night, then.”

Flashing a Cheshire grin, Chanyeol starts back toward his room and Sehun starts up the stairs. He curls his clammy hands into fists as his stomach churns, the evening breeze tickles his bones. It has been a pretty awkward couple of days with Kai and Sehun just wants to forget about everything so that he can continue with his stupid, miserable life. It’s already bad as it is and he doesn’t need Kai to make it worse. So, he’d very thankful if Kai doesn’t give him a hard time tonight because honestly, Sehun is too exhausted to entertain him anymore.

With the uncertainty of whether Kai is in the room or not, Sehun pushes the door open and his heart sinks when he finds Kai standing half naked in front of his wardrobe, fishing out a red-black flannel shirt. Clad in a pair of faded blue jeans, Kai looks to Sehun with his wet hair curtaining his forehead and lazily returns his gaze to the wardrobe, pulling the flannel shirt on.

The whole room is filled with the oceanic-musky fragrance. It always smells like that whenever Kai is fresh out of shower and for some odd reason, Sehun finds it comforting. But he wonders why Kai had taken a bath at this hour. Most of all, why is he in the room on a weekend’s evening. He usually returns at night when Sehun’s asleep.

Sehun doesn’t utter a word as he walks over to his desk and starts piling his notes and books to go through tonight. He is falling behind in classes and he heard Shixun, who’s in advanced level classes is up for valedictorian this year. He can’t afford to be the stupid twin, although he finds the situation badly hilarious. He doubts he’s the runt in the batch, though. There’s Kai, who’s almost as bad as Kris in studies, but is apparently good enough to pass his semesters. They’re both said to be a shame for the headmistress. Sehun had also only recently learnt that Mark is an architect, which means it’s just Kris and Kai who are… well, underachieving.

All brawns and no brains, Shixun likes to call them. He’s naturally more sentimental when it comes to Kris, though. He even once called Kris _‘his personal love bimbo’_.

Through his peripheral vision, he notices Kai flump on his bed as he pulls his shoes on. He’s going somewhere? Sehun stacks his books and idly stands there for a moment with his hands resting on the textbooks. Where could he be going right now? They have a class in the morning.

“Will you be… back late?” Sehun asks and Kai turns around to face him as he pulls a leather jacket on. “I’m just asking so that I’ll shut the windows if you won’t—”

“Shut them, then,” he mutters grimly with a look of hurt crossing his face.

“Have you heard anything from Dillan?”

“I’m gonna go look for her now,” he says, heading to the door.

“Wait… what do you mean you’re gonna go look for her? You’re not supposed to leave school grounds after curfew.”

Kai scoffs. “Are you worried for me or are you just curious? Judging by your aversion, it’s probably the latter.”

“I’m…” Sehun sighs. “I don’t think you should leave. Maybe she’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Let’s just stick by what you said, all right?” He sounds exasperated and annoyed now, if not a little green and ill. “You stay clear of my path and I stay clear of yours.”

“I’m concerned about them, too, okay?” Sehun pulls away from the desk.

“So, what do you suggest? How exactly _would_ you like to contribute, Asherton?” he grunts out.

Sehun glares at him. “Do you… think something happened to them?”

“I don’t know.”

“Shouldn’t we wait?”

“I don’t fucking care what you want to do.” He yanks the door open and steps out.

Sehun stands still for a moment, gritting his teeth. What on earth is Kai planning to do precisely? Then making a low guttural noise of dismay, Sehun kicks a leg of the chair before he goes after Kai.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Kai snarls, looking to Sehun when the younger jogs up to him.

“I want to help,” Sehun says, shrugging.

“And how would you do that?” Kai cocks his brow.

“Look, I’m worried about Gwenna, too, okay? And if you’re going home, I’m coming.”

Kai rolls his eyes. “How about you stay put and I’ll let you know how things are back home when I’m back?”

Sehun scowls. “You’re not the boss of me. I’m coming.”

“For fuck’s sake. I really don’t want to be anywhere near you right now, okay?! And by the looks of it, you don’t either. Seems like being in the presence of this _weirdo_ disgusts you so much that you want to throw up, don’t you?”

Flinching back, Sehun vacantly blinks at him. “What are you blabbering about?”

“You just hurt people without even knowing it, don’t you, Sehun. Fuck, you know 101 ways to hurt someone,” he mumbles and starts down the stairs. Losing his breath for a moment, Sehun wonders what that was all about, then he hurries after the older man.

“Who am _I_ hurting when you’re the biggest jerk here?!” he calls out, hurtling behind Kai.

“Shh!” Kai hisses at him, glancing back, and halted midway on the stairs. “I’m the jerk?” he snorts under his breath. “How so? How am I a bigger jerk than you, Sehun?”

Sehun isn’t sure if he’s more amused or appalled by the fact that Kai calls him by his first name these days. It often sounds familiar—the way he says his name. “How about you answer that question yourself? God, I’m tired of these fights all the damn time. Can we just stop?”

“No,” Kai climbs up a step and is now almost standing face-to-face with Sehun. There is just so much hurt and pain in his face, and Sehun doesn’t understand. Kai looked all macho and tireless in the morning, but now he just seems so vulnerable and pale that Sehun actually wants to take pity on him. “Tell me. I want to hear it. I really, really want to hear what you really think about me.”

Sehun blinks rapidly, staring down Kai’s chapped lips. He doesn’t think Kai gets sick easily due to his amazing Flair, but right now, Kai does look sick. He looks so pale and grey. “Are you… feeling okay?”

Kai turns around, letting out a loud sigh and proceeds down the stairs. Sehun is about to stop him when Kai trips over the steps and falls forward.

Sehun gasps, realizing that Kai hadn’t tripped. He slams onto the ground, already fallen unconscious. “Kai!” he rasps and hurries down the steps before dropping to his knees. He rolls Kai onto his back and his jaw falls slacking when he sees the blood oozing from Kai’s nose. “Oh, my God. Kai!” It doesn’t seem like his nose is broken or maybe it is, but the blood doesn’t stop trickling out of it. Sehun grabs Kai’s shoulders and shakes him. “Kai!”


	15. Best Outcomes

“It seems to be fatigue,” the nurse informs Miss Pip, the only teacher who Sehun could get a hold of under such short notice upon the nurse’s order from the teacher’s living quarters in the south tower.

Kai is not the only patient in the school’s infirmary. A girl from the higher institute is curled into a ball in a cot nearby with her forearms clasped to her ears. Sehun could tell Kai isn’t Miss Pip’s favourite student—he actually isn’t anybody’s favourite student, even not Master Tim’s in Combative Defence Arts class, which Kai actually excels remarkably in, a class which Sehun doesn’t show up for 60 per cent of the time. Mostly because it yanks at too many fond memories that he wishes to forget. However, he supposes it is nice of Miss Pip to show some sort of concern and care for her student, even if it’s Kai.

“Has he been wearing himself out lately?” the nurses asks Sehun, who stares at her wordlessly for a moment.

He, then, shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m… not sure.”

“Are you not his roommate?” asks Miss Pip, to which he responds with a couple of vague blinks of his eyes. Surely everyone must know that the infamous son of the Headmistress shares a room with him. So the inquiry sounds rather rhetorical. But Sehun notes how even the teacher doesn’t mistake him for Kai’s _friend._ Sehun couldn’t possibly be anything than just his roommate.

Is he entitled to know about everything that’s on Kai’s daily agendas just because they sleep in one room? “I am, but I don’t know what he does in his free time… or his occupied time.” He wants to frown at himself. Both Miss Pip and the school’s round-the-clock nurse pin him with a disbelieving look, probably branding him as an unreliable roommate who takes no interest in his fellow roommate’s welfare. Well, Sehun isn’t sure he does anyway. It’s good enough that he brought Kai to the infirmary and didn’t leave him to suffocate in his own blood at the stairs. Especially after the recent row he had with Kai. Speaking of which, he is still baffled about every little reaction he had gotten from Kai when they were _talking_ on the stairs before the older man had passed out.

“I thought his Flair made it impossible for him to experience such things as extreme fatigue,” says Miss Pip and Sehun realizes she does have some rudimentary knowledge about Kai. Of course, everyone in FLAC must have, right? With him being the Headmistress’ spoiled brat and all.

“That’s what bothers me, too. And he’s healing fast. It was bad when he was brought in. I can have the doctor over tomorrow to run a check-up on him. But for now, he seems fine.”

Sehun glances to Kai who is lying in a cot. The colour has returned to his face, although he is still unconscious. His leather jacket is tossed away on a chair and his hair is all but dried and mussed, curtaining over half of his lidded eyes. The blood that caked his upper lip is all cleaned by the nurse and he’s sleeping like a baby. He looks _nice_ like this. Vulnerable, unguarded, defenceless and this is purely a rare sight. He has never seen Kai so… peaceful. Like he could be crushed under Sehun’s fingertips. And for some odd reason, Sehun wants to him to stay that way. He’s kind of happy to be, probably, the only one who has ever seen Kai in this state.

He looks away, feeling a little repulsive at himself for enjoying the subjugation of another man due to an ailment. Except that this isn’t just _another man._ It’s Kai and boy, would Sehun love to see him writhe and squirm defencelessly…

He sighs in disbelief. He has come to hate Kai to a great deal, but looking at Kai like this, he wants to pity that sore loser. He wants to wrap his hand around Kai’s neck and look him in the eye and tell him to never to mess with him ever again. Sehun feels sick suddenly. He doesn’t know what exactly is that he feels right now. Especially after seeing Kai crash the ground unconsciously with blood all over his nostrils and upper lip.

 _“Tell me. I want to hear it. I really, really want to hear what you really think about me.”_ Kai had said.

Sehun isn’t sure he has an accurate reply for that.

“Should I inform his mother?” offers the nurse.

“I’m afraid she’s not in school. Professor Gi is in charge and I’ll let him know. Dillan has gone home for a family gathering. Hopefully, she’ll be back tomorrow,” says Miss Pip. “Gi could ring her up and inform her of this.”

A worry strikes Sehun’s chest.

“All right. He may rest the night here,” the nurse shifts her attention to Sehun. “Could you go fetch some water bottles for him? Perhaps something to eat from the kitchen? Tell the cooks you have my permission.”

Sehun opens his mouth to protest since he hadn’t volunteered to spend the night here with Kai, but the nurse already looks vexed as she is. So, letting out a sharp breath, he turns on his heel.

 

* * *

 

When he returns, the poorly-lit infirmary is almost empty again. Miss Pip and the nurse are nowhere to be spotted and the senior girl at the end of the infirmary is fast asleep, so is Kai. Sehun settles the two water bottles and a hot cup of noodles on the side table before he takes a seat in the chair with Kai’s discarded jacket clinging on its armrest.

He studies Kai’s resting posture for a moment. There is absolutely nothing strained about the way he’s sleeping. He looks very relaxed and for once, it seems like he’s not entertaining any nightmares. Sehun suppresses the urge to sweep the hair that’s covering Kai’s forehead. He has pretty long eyelashes and Sehun remembers them all too well. It makes him smile and he shifts his gaze to one of Kai’s wrists. He reads the unreadable tattoo on the inside of the wrist. Could it really mean _big pussies_? Well, you’ll never know with Kai. This bastard is capable of the most revulsive things. Was he really that exhausted that he conked out like that out of the sudden? What could he have been doing that made him that tired? Sehun doesn’t think Kai’s Flair practically _allowed_ him to get easily fatigued, but of course, even Kai _does_ get tired. But not to this extent. This is something else.

 

Sehun tries to not to analyse whatever that’s going on with Kai’s physique. Or psyche. He doesn’t want to analyse anything about Kai. Hell, he doesn’t even want to be here, sitting here in this cold infirmary, listening to the senior girl half-snoring, fetching water and food and admiring Kai’s long eyelashes. He had only wanted to “help” Kai because he couldn’t idly sit around, waiting for some kind of news about Gwenna. He wasn’t expecting _this_.

After a moment, he lets his mind wander off into the _Kai-zone_ again. Perhaps Kai is Kai. Well, he _is_ Kai, Sehun knows that. Even as an older version of him, Kai wasn’t exactly a saint. He was just as brutal and calculative and downright spiteful. But those were his plusses, rather than his weaknesses. This Kai, however, is naïve in his own stupid way, unnecessarily aggressive, a bully just because he has the means to be so, immature to say the least and actually _very_ annoying. Sehun knows he is probably the only one who sees all these awful qualities in Kai because he happens to be the only one Kai reveals them to. As though he deliberately loves being the transparent, rude brat, just exclusively for Sehun. Maybe, just maybe Kai would grow up to be the Kai Sehun loves, but the chances are very slim. Kai has everything handed to him on a silver platter and Sehun doubts he’s going to go through any hardship at all. Simply put, Kai is a snobbish and Sehun doesn’t even want to bother wasting years of his life pursuing after him just because he’s in love with the idea of Kai’s existence. That’s just it. He tries to see it this way. If both Kais were displayed before him, Sehun would run into the older Kai’s arms in a heartbeat.

Does he really hate Kai? _This_ Kai? Hate seems like too strong of a word, Sehun convinces himself. Looking at him like this, so young, so _fragile_ , Sehun knows that deep down, he still wishes that this was _him._ It is _him_ , isn’t it? Only with different qualities. How can Sehun ever _hate_ him? He supposes he hates the insufferable attitude and the things Kai does. He doesn’t actually _hate_ him. But Kai doesn’t need to know that. The further Kai is from him, the better. He wants Kai to just stop. The taunts, the jokes, the provocation, and all the unamicable things. As repulsive as they are, they only keep drawing Sehun closer to him and that’s a dangerous thing. Especially since Kai loves seeing Sehun lose and crumble.

Like that stunt he had pulled today in the feast hall. The kiss. The cruelty behind that forced kiss is just unbearable. If he had wanted everyone to admire him for his stout-heartedness, he got it. Everyone in school is probably talking about it, ridiculing about how startled Sehun was. Oh, the nerve of him.

His thoughts dissipate when he notices the jerky movement in the cot as Kai stirs. His eyes flutter open as though he is rousing from a deep, peaceful sleep. Then his gaze averts to Sehun. There’s a shot of confusion and kindness in his eyes instead of disgust as Sehun would have anticipated. Kai rolls onto his back and sits up, propping his elbows.

“You okay?” Sehun inquires in a soft whisper, careful not to wake the other occupant up.

Kai rubs his eyes at the hilt of his palms and looks around the infirmary. “Am I in the infirmary?” he asks, arching his dark eyebrows.

“Yeah,” Sehun grabs a water bottle and hands it out to Kai, who rudely glares at it before ignoring it. “Are you feeling okay?” he asks again.

“How… did I get here?” came the response, much to Sehun’s dismay.

“Well, I brought you here, of course? You… passed out.”

“Yeah, I collected that,” Kai scowls now. “Please tell me you didn’t _carry_ me all the way here like I’m some bride or a damsel in distress.”

The idea amuses Sehun and he wants to smile at that, just to irritate Kai. But he doesn’t. Perhaps another day. “Uh… I actually sort of dragged you over the floor half way and then asked for the nurse’s help. You weigh heavier than two corpses.”

Kai’s scowl deepens. “You _dragged_ me.”

Sehun feels the heat rise to his cheeks. “Yeah?”

“Have you no respect for an unconscious man?”

“You should be thankful instead of barking at me as soon as you open your goddamn eyes!” Sehun jolts up to his feet, chucking the full water bottle at Kai’s chest. “And it’s not my fault your bones weight a tonne!”

Kai’s hard expression softens and there’s a hint of smirk on his lips. “Did you cry?”

Sehun blinks at that. “What?”

“Did you feel bad?”

“Why should I?” This is confusing on a whole new level.

Kai pulls himself out of the cot and extends an arm past Sehun to grab his jacket from the chair. “I mean, after bad-mouthing about me like that behind my back, you must have felt a little guilty for bitching about a sick man.”

Sehun’s eyes widen. “What are you talking about?”

“You know darn well about what I’m talking about,” Kai grimly spits, already making his way towards the exit. Baffled for a moment, Sehun follows him. Kai looks like he had regained whatever energy and strength he had lost.

“Wait, you’re not supposed to leave.”

“I’m fine,” Kai declares stoically, running his fingers repeatedly through his hair to push it back.

“Jesus Christ, you’re not made of stone, okay?! It’s okay to admit if you’re not feeling well.”

Kai only lets out a heavy sigh in response, which irks Sehun further. He ignores Sehun’s following urges and slips through a gate in the west wing of the tower, which Sehun has never even seen before. They, then, come to a wall of bricks and vines. “Can you climb?” Kai asks.

Surprised, Sehun shrugs. “Maybe.”

“What sort of stupid answer is maybe?” Kai cocks an eyebrow and Sehun loses it again.

“Oh, my God. Why do you have to be so aggrava—”

“I don’t have time for this,” Kai cuts him off and starts climbing up the wall, carefully placing his feet on the jagged bricks. Sehun rolls his eyes, wondering if he should really do this. Only a moment ago, Kai had blood trickling down his lips and now he’s climbing walls. A prodigy, this guy is.

Sehun follows suit and crawls up the vines in a much more inexperienced manner, like an utter novice compared to Kai.

When they land on the other side of the wall, Sehun gazes into the darkness of the woods that surround the castle and then looks to Kai, who is already walking in the direction of the road.

“Do you do this often?” Sehun asks, keeping up with Kai’s long, powerful strides. The guy has thighs like a fucking stallion.

“Define often.”

Kai really does sound like he’s full of zest and blood now. He actually looks like it, too. So was sleep all he needed to wash away the fatigue?

“Like every night when you’re not in the room?”

Kai passes him a playful look. “What do you think I do during those nights when I’m not in the room?”

“Don’t know.” Why is Sehun even doing this? Why is he even bothering to talk to Kai? But he wants to. He can’t stop himself. He wants to hear Kai speak because that voice resonates into the most beautiful parts in his mind. “Were you… exhausting yourself? I mean, the nurse said it’s fatigue.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not,” Kai says. “Probably the flu or something.”

“You didn’t have the flu. Which you seemed to have recovered from quite fast.”

“Wow, you’re chatty tonight, aren’t you?” he scoffs and starts walking along the roadside. “Did your little lover send you flowers and scented candles? You seem to be in a happy mood.”

“Kai,” Sehun calls, frowning a little.

“Stop talking, Sehun.”

It somewhat hurts every time Kai calls him by his name. But he quiets down, knowing that it’d be the best for the both of them.

But after a while, Sehun asks, “Are we going to walk all the way there?”

Kai comes to a halt and stares at Sehun as if Sehun had said something ridiculous. “Up the hill. You think we’ll walk all the way up the hill.” He arches an eyebrow.

Sehun sighs. “No, I guess not.”

Turning around, Kai starts walking again. “We’ll take a cab.”

 

* * *

 

When they reach the mansion on top of the hill, Kai pays the cabbie the fare and tells him to come pick them up again after an hour. It seems like he has done this numerous times.

Only the little light at the doorstep is lit in this inky black night. “What if they’re not here?” Sehun asks.

“Then, we’ll know they’re not here.” Kai rings the doorbell. “But your mother should be here, right?”

Sehun doesn’t know. He looks away. “Maybe.”

“She never leaves the mansion for a couple of days after visiting. Right?”

Sehun is saved when the door springs open. Mrs Gump stares at them with ballooned eyes. “What are you two doing here at this hour?” she asks in shock.

“Is anyone else home?” Sehun inquires.

“No.”

Sehun lets out a shaky breath, looking over to Kai. _What now?_

“It’s all right, Mrs Gump. I’m just here to fetch my things and then I’ll leave,” Kai says and pushes his way in. Sehun follows. “Any idea where they are?”

“Some gone home, I suppose.”

“And Gwenna?” Sehun asks. “Any luck finding her?”

Mrs Gump offers a sympathetic look. “I don’t know, dear.”

“Faiion and Grace?” Sehun accidently let’s their names slip and earns a knowing glare from Kai.

“Your parents? They went out this morning. Haven’t returned.”

“It’s fine. We’ll wait for a while,” Kai blurts out and grabs Sehun’s arm. “Mrs Gump, I’m famished. Haven’t eaten anything since last night. Could fix me up something?”

“Sure.” With that, the stubby old woman vanishes into the hallway and Kai hauls Sehun up the stairs before he releases Sehun’s arm.

“What are you doing?” Sehun demands as Kai hurries up another flight of stairs.

“I need that logbook.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I think I fucked something up.”

* * *

 

(A/N) Guys, check out my new fic, [King's Lost Prince](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7592749) :D 


	16. The Night Ends

Kai knows it takes at least a truck to collapse him like that. He knows whatever that had caused him to faint out of the sudden with blood clogging up his nose is not heartache or fatigue as Sehun had pointed it out. When he was out, there had been nothing. _Nothing._ It felt as though his body was a void of darkness and his mind was an endless abyss of nothingness. He slept peacefully. It felt like a peaceful sleep. Except that there weren’t dreams or nightmares. It was just a void. Sure, he had lost all his consciousness. But for some odd reason, he knows that isn’t the whole deal. It almost felt as though he wasn’t _in_ his body.

He recalls something of such sorts catching his eyes. The logbook. The darkness he felt wasn’t his own.

When they enter the library, the lights flicker on automatically. Sehun quietly closes the door behind them as Kai hurries towards the ladder. “Kai,” Sehun calls after him. “Can you tell me why do you want that logbook?”

Kai doesn’t answer until he has climbed the ladder and is on the second floor of the library. “I have to recheck something.”

As soon as Sehun is keeping up with him, he asks, “Recheck what?”

Kai turns to face him for a brief moment and lets out a sigh. “Since when do we share things?” he cocks an eyebrow, which obviously vexes Sehun.

“We’re not… sharing things.”

“You keep saying you don’t want anything to do with me and yet, look at you. Following me wherever I go, talking nonstop.” He starts towards the glass case. “You can wait outside if you want.”

“Did something happen to you? Why do you look so agitated suddenly?”

Kai is forced to a stop when Sehun grabs his arm. Yanking his arm free, he scowls at Sehun. “Why doesn’t anyone else know that you’re dating someone?” It just comes out. Kai hadn’t been meaning to ask such a question, but at that moment, he couldn’t help it.

Under the dim light of the library, Sehun stares at him. “Why… is it that it bothers you so much?”

“It doesn’t,” Kai snarls. “It’s none of my business.”

“Yeah, it isn’t. So what’s the big deal?” his expression hardens a little.

Kai clenches his fists. _What’s the big deal? The big deal is that I fucking want you and I don’t like sharing you with anyone._ “Forget about it.” He turns on his heel. He would really appreciate if Sehun doesn’t speak for a while. “When I was out, I felt something.”

“Felt something?” Sehun echoes.

“Yeah.” Kai isn’t sure if he should tell Sehun about the darkness thing, but then he remembers. Sehun already knows. That grasps his attention again. However, he doesn’t demand Sehun of anything because he knows it would only lead to further arguments. Arguments which he doesn’t have the energy to entertain. Right now, if he argued with Sehun, he’d push Sehun up a bookshelf and kiss the shit out of him. And there couldn’t be anything worse than that.

“What did you feel?”

So full of questions. Kai rolls his eyes. “Like I wasn’t myself.”

Sehun falls silent thereon as though he has his own thoughts to think through. He only speaks again when they reach the logbook. “What do you think you’ll find in here?”

“Remember the Dark Astral Projection thing we read about?” Kai mutters, taking the glass case off.

“Gwenna and Grace’s father?”

Kai pins him with an idle look and Sehun swallows as his Adam’s apple bobs. “Are you going through some rebellious stage or something?”

“What?”  
“You said Grace. Again.”

Sehun lets out a tired sigh. “It is my mother’s name.”

Kai doesn’t push it any further and flips the logbook open. He has an idea of what’s going on with his body and how he has fucked it up, but he isn’t sure. “You know how Flairs run in circles within the Recherchés? I feel like I might have something to do with this Dark Astral Projection thing.”

“You mean, you think you have that Flair?” Sehun blinks, raising an eyebrow in something like disbelief.

Kai stops turning the pages and locks gazes with Sehun. “What? You don’t think so?”

“Uh… I’m not sure… that… I don’t know.”

Kai’s fingers grip the edges of the pages. “You do know something, don’t you? You know,” he spits through his grit teeth.

Glancing away, Sehun purses his lips. “What makes you think you have this Astral Projection Flair?”

“I don’t think I have that Flair. I just said I might have something to do with it.” He turns to the page about Grace and Gwenna’s father. Maybe he might find something that would help him. He hadn’t specifically come here for this, but now since he’s here, he might as well gather something. “Ever since I opened that door and the… tombstone, I haven’t experienced any… nightmares. I know it’s only been a couple of days, but sleeping feels like a bliss now. There.” He points to the pictureless page. “Dark Astral Projection… people’s souls leave their bodies and get lost in the darkness… blah blah blah... souls travel blindly, looking for an entity to house them. This is why dead blah blah blah empty vessels of darkness, are often possessed by these roaming souls that cannot find their way back to their original bodies. Their soulless, original bodies will be alive for some time, but a soulless existence can only live on this side of the world for long before it decays… Feeds on the souls he steals.” He turns the page and continues to read. “Exhausting the soul and the body. Sub-Flairs, _borrowing_ the Flairs of the souls he feeds on,” something else catches Kai’s attention. “Look at this… Deceased on 14 th January… 1998. That’s… the day of my birthday. Do you think maybe I could have somehow inherited this? A little bit of it?”

When he looks to Sehun, he gets a horrified expression and a gaping mouth. Kai blinks at Sehun, who is gawking at him like he had done something blasphemous. “Did you… experience this… OBE thing?” Sehun asks in a very low voice.

Kai swallows. “No… I don’t know. I just suspect it.”

“Why did you open the door and the tombstone, Kai?” Sehun’s eyes narrow.

“Why?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Because…” does he even want to tell Sehun anything? He sighs. “Every time I come here, I get nightmares. About the door. It sort of… draws me to it.”

“And you went and fucking opened it.” Sehun groans.

“So? There was nothing in it.”

“There was the tombstone.”

“With _nothing_ in it.”

“So far as we know.” Sehun sucks in a trembling breath. “Look,” he points to the book. “He’s able to control it completely. Not just his own, but others. Which means, he can have his soul roam freely.”

“What are you getting it?” Kai demands out of frustration.

“The door’s handle is… fixed again. Gwenna’s gone missing. She’s the only one who could have known that you broke into the room and opened the tombstone that night.”

“And your point is?”

Sehun falls silent again, gnawing on his lower lip. “Do you think… something was in that tombstone? Locked away?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Why would they keep a tombstone?”

Kai studies Sehun’s flustered expression. “Family heirloom?” he smirks, but Sehun doesn’t find it charming. As usual.

“Maybe. What’s the need for them to keep such an heirloom under their very own guard? Think about it. The door wanted you to open it. The nightmares stopped as soon as you opened the tombstone. And… you fainted. Gwenna is gone and…”

Kai still doesn’t get it. He thinks he knows what Sehun is aiming for, but it sounds too stupid to admit. Besides, Sehun can’t be that smart, right? Has Sehun ever been smart or quick-witted? This is new.

“I don’t think you have the Astral Projection Flair. I… know that for sure. We need to find Faiion or my mother.” Sehun blurts out, gathering the logbook in his arms. “They’re the only ones who’d know something about this.”

“You sound like you do.”

“I—”

A thunderous slam of the library’s doors cut him off, startling them both. For a moment, they stand still, without turning a single hair, staring down the alley between the bookshelves. Kai half expects Sehun to move closer to him, but then he realizes Sehun doesn’t like him enough to do that.

There’s a whisper that strikes the air like a wind. They freeze, eyeballing the poorly-lit library before them. Kai notices how still Sehun has gone beside him. Another whisper startles them. It isn’t anything they can understand. It’s just a whisper.

And then there’s a low, whispery whistle. A merry tune. A chill surges down Kai’s spine. Then there’s another loud whisper that reverberates through the library. _“Smart like his father he is. Brave like his mother he is.”_ A cold, breathy laughter follows.

Kai shudders when Sehun slides his palm down his own and clasps their hands together. _“Such a shame I will have to kill you so soon, son of Faiion.”_

When it happens, it happens so fast between the two blinks of Kai’s eyes. The swirling air in the library falls into chaos as the tall, monumental bookshelves begin collapsing against one another. Books and papers scatter, falling from the plummeting bookshelves. The ground quakes under their feet while glasses shatter elsewhere. Within seconds, they are standing amidst chaos.

Gripping Sehun’s hand, Kai runs for it, between bookshelves. His mind is befuddled in groggy confusion, but he doesn’t have the time to think. If they stayed here any longer, they will be buried in books and their colossal shelves. “Kai!” Sehun cries and Kai looks back. The shelves are falling in their direction now.

_Fuck._

The ladder is knocked down and Kai knows Sehun would have at least a couple of broken bones if he jumped from here. He grits his teeth. He’d rather have his bones broken for a while than let Sehun break his.

Sehun is gasping for air as he runs beside him, holding the logbook in one arm. When they reach the end, Kai doesn’t slow down with the bookshelves tumbling after them. He grapples an arm around Sehun’s waist and hauls him close. Sehun lets out a gasp of protest when Kai leaps off the edge of the floor, keeping his grip tight around Sehun’s body. He lets go off the book and completely clings onto Kai’s body.

When Kai lands on the ground, his back slams against the floorboards with Sehun’s entire weight on top of him and he lets out a ferocious groan, feeling the agony of having his bones cracked against the hard planes of the ground.

“Kai!” Sehun rasps with a traumatic expression as Kai’s face crumples in pain. Sehun clasps his hand to a side of Kai’s face and stares at him with bulging eyes. “Oh, my God. Are you nuts?!”

“Get… off… me,” Kai grunts and Sehun almost scrambles off him. That’s when Kai notices the bookshelf that is tilting in their way and he grabs Sehun by the waist before he flops him to the ground and mounts him. A bestial growl escapes Kai when the bookshelf collapses on his back, the books scattering all over him with Sehun trapped beneath him, safe and sound. He looks into Sehun’s ballooned eyes. The bookshelf is heavy, but it isn’t as big as the ones on the second floor. Using all of his strength, he plants his fists to the ground on either side of Sehun’s head and pushes up, lifting the bookshelf on his back. “Go,” he snarls and Sehun easily slips under him. He then helps Kai to lift the bookshelf off him and pulls Kai in his embrace to help him stand.

“Are you… okay?”

Kai scowls, clenching his jaw in pain. “Do I look okay?!”

Sehun releases him and hurries to grab the logbook. As soon as he has got it, they hurry out of the library and Kai yanks the doors close before he slumps against it and sinks to the ground, panting heavily.

“What the fuck… was that?” he gasps silently, waiting for his body to heal, but it’s taking too long.

“We need to get out of here. Come on.” Sehun pulls Kai up with an arm around Kai’s back and encourages Kai to drape his own arm over his shoulders. Kai does. He isn’t exactly fond of the idea of Sehun _helping_ him, but he is not really in the state to decline it.

When they have hurtled back downstairs, Mrs Gump is gawking at them. “What was all that ruckus about?!” she demands with a terror in her voice.

“Mrs Gump, you need to leave as soon as you can,” Sehun blurts out. “I’ll let my parents know.”

“What happened to him?”

Kai clings his weight onto Sehun and lets him drag him to the couch. “Can you get some ice for him, Mrs Gump?”

 

* * *

 

 

The cab had dropped them off by the roadside and Sehun couldn’t help but gawk at Kai in either astonishment or wonder when they have climbed over the wall and landed on the other side of it. “Are you all right?” he asks for the nth time and Kai only rolls his shoulder uncomfortably. He seems to have healed progressively over the past hour, but it still looks like he’s in some sort of discomfort.

It has been crazy, to say the least. And they are both very tired. There is this vast hole of confusion that is waiting to be filled with answers, but for now, neither of them can even have a coherent conversation. They are both in shock, but Kai seems to be in a greater shock that Sehun.

They silently make their way up to their room and when they reach it, Kai walks over to his bed and caves in. He collapses on his bed with his shoes and jacket on. Sehun locks their room’s door and settles the logbook on his desk before he looks in Kai’s way. Kai has his eyes clenched tight with his wrist resting on his forehead. They should talk about this, everything that has happened. The voice. The spine-chilling voice. The fact that Kai had broken his own bones at the risk of breaking his spine for Sehun.

But Sehun knows they can wait. The sun is already coming up and they need to catch whatever sleep they can. Sehun perches on the edge of his bed, facing Kai and silently watches the steady rise and fall of Kai’s chest. He must be just as confused as Sehun is.

He closes his eyes and thinks to that time when Kai jumped off the tower. He had tightly held onto Sehun at the expense of having his own body injured. A part of Sehun hurts and he stands up before he walks over to the side of Kai’s bed. Licking his lips, he silently watches Kai sleep. Is he even sleeping? Sehun wonders if he should thank him. That can wait, too.

When he turns around to head back to his own bed, Kai’s sudden grip on his wrist stops him and he glances to Kai, who is looking at him with half-lidded eyes sheening with fatigue. He is staring right at Sehun. Loosening his grip around Sehun’s wrist, his hand slowly slides down to lightly cling onto Sehun’s fingers. “Can you… stay?” he asks in a very low voice that Sehun thinks he heard it wrong. “For a while?”

The warmth that radiates from Kai’s fingers disappears when Kai retrieves his hand. Sehun takes his seat on his bed and keeps his head hung low. “You didn’t… have to do that.”

It takes Kai a moment to respond. “You and I both know I did,” he mutters and Sehun looks to him. Kai has his subtle, lazy gaze idle on Sehun. “Why don’t you like me, Sehun?”

“Am I supposed to?”

Kai keeps mum, but doesn’t take his eyes off Sehun as he keeps his head rested on the pillow. After a moment, he says, “I don’t hate you.”

Sehun’s eyes widen a little and even that takes all of his strength. “Yes, you do.”

“I don’t,” he mumbles sleepily. Then he brings a gentle hand to the side of Sehun’s waist and Sehun shudders, swallowing hard. What is Kai doing? And why is Sehun’s heart pounding so unnecessarily hard? Kai sits halfway up, propping himself on one of his elbows. “Do you… really love… someone else?”

Someone _else._

“You’re sleepy. Go to sleep.” He starts to rise and Kai grabs hold of his forearm.

“Don’t… go.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Just to my bed.”

Kai’s grip tightens around his forearm. “It was worth it.”

Sehun looks at him confusedly. Kai releases his arm and falls back on the bed with his eyes closed.

“Every broken bone was worth it.”


	17. Without Notice

The chime of the bell is rather melodic than alarming. It continues to toll, filling the air with its delicate peal. The radiant rays of sun dance on the other side of the eyelids and Sehun fights the urge to wave the sun away. He stirs on the bed, burying a side of his face into the softness of the pillow. It feels amazing as though the mattress had massaged all the soreness in his body away. He wants to drift into sleep again, but the continuous toll of the bell lightly disconcerts him and his eyes flutter open. He greets the sunlight, which is surging into the room through the murky glass of the closed window, with a smile. He had slept well.

He had slept too well. His sleepy eyes bulge out when he realizes the bell that had chimed a moment ago was not the first bell of the day. And there is a table before him, beside it, an empty bed. _His_ empty bed. Sehun swallows and peers at Kai’s wristwatch resting on the bedside table. It’s almost 12:50. _Shit._

Just when he decides to sit up, the warmth that is pressed to his back registers to him. He freezes, glancing to the arm that is draped over his waist. Sehun stares at the red-black sleeve around the arm and the tattoo on the inside of the wrist. A leg is slipped between his legs. He can feel a series of hot breath on the back of his neck and he goes still. He had slept in Kai’s bed… with Kai in it.

This jerk. He’s taking liberties. Why is he hugging Sehun, using him like a freaking bolster? Sehun grabs Kai’s wrist and shoves it back, off his waist. Kai stirs behind him and lets out a sleepy, hoarse grunt. Sehun kicks Kai’s leg off his own and jolts upright. Kai groans in dismay, shifting on the mattress as Sehun sits up on the edge, scrubbing his face with his palms. He, then shoots up to his feet and glares to Kai, who is trying to open his glued eyes.

“We missed our morning classes,” he informs Kai. The guy rolls to his side, turning his back to Sehun and hugs his duvet. “Kai.”

“I don’t care,” comes the sleepy response.

“Fine,” Sehun turns to grab some fresh clothes from his wardrobe. “We have to look for your mother and figure out whatever that is going on, if you forgot about last night.”

Kai flinches and he sits up, letting out an exasperated groan. “Shit.”

“Exactly.”

Looking to Sehun, Kai blinks languidly. “What do you think happened last night? I mean, in the library.” He’s playing coy. Kai knows what happened last night. There is a strike of guilt across his face.

“Someone wants to kill me.” Sehun says, swallowing when he recalls the voice. “And… probably not just me.”

Kai cocks an eyebrow. “And you know who.”

“You do, too.”

There is a stretch of silence between them. After a moment, Kai says, “I did it, didn’t I? I opened the tombstone.”

“You did,” he sighs. “But you… didn’t know what was in it. We need answers.” He looks to the logbook on his desk and then back to Kai. “Can’t you get a hold of your brother at least?”

“Mark? Well, we need to call somebody.” He climbs out of the bed. He pauses for a moment, staring at Sehun with his bottom lip curled between his teeth.

Sehun breaks the locked gaze and looks away. “Maybe we could ask a teacher’s help. Maybe Professor Gi.”

“Yeah. You can… use the bathroom.” He looks different today. Calmer, tired and a little… nicer.

Sehun nods his head and gathers his jeans and towel before he steps into the bathroom. After taking a quick shower, Sehun exits the bathroom to let Kai in. Sehun had already seen way too many things to be intimidated by what happened to him last night. But Kai must be pretty shaken. Especially now that he knows he was the one who had unleashed something from the tombstone. If Sehun’s interpretation is accurate, it’s Arthur Prescott, Grace and Gwenna’s father. It makes sense. Kai must still be figuring out his Darkness Dimension Flair, but Sehun knows for certain that he has that Flair. The only other person with such a dark Flair is Arthur Prescott. That must probably be why Kai was coaxed to open the tombstone. These are just Sehun’s speculations, but it is still something. Nothing was in that tombstone. But Arthur can draw his soul out of his body and he doesn’t need an entity to travel. The question is, why did he want to attack them? Sehun, in particular. _Son of Faiion_ , he had said.

It sends a jolt down Sehun’s spine. Only when the bathroom door opens does Sehun realize he had spaced out, staring out the window with the towel hanging to the back of his neck, clad in nothing but his skin-tight jeans. He turns and looks to Kai, who has water rivulets trickling down his bronze, caramel-coloured back that is facing Sehun. He has his black jeans on and is drying his hair with his towel. Sehun knows he’s staring at Kai, possibly ogling the flexing muscles of the man’s back, but he couldn’t look away. His mind is unconsciously cast to last night when Kai ignored his own safety to secure Sehun’s. Not once, but twice. Kai’s Flair allows him to heal fast, but that couldn’t have been the only incentive for saving the guy he absolutely loathes, for putting Sehun’s safety before his own. Speaking of which, this morning, before they had fallen asleep, Kai had admitted that he doesn’t hate Sehun and that… every broken bone was worth it. Sehun isn’t really sure how he should decipher that. Was it genuine or was just Kai rambling aimlessly?

Kai turns around and catches Sehun gawking at him. Sehun glances away, clenching his jaw. He pulls the towel off his neck and picks up the black t-shirt from the bed. When he straightens up, he sees Kai walking towards him in slow strides. Sehun’s windpipe tightens as his heart begins to thunder. Kai stops a foot before him, his eyes lowered to Sehun’s exposed body, and he raises his hand to the side of Sehun’s torso. Although Sehun’s first instincts are to flinch away, he doesn’t turn a hair when Kai’s fingers brush the side of his waist, slightly to the back.

Then as though he is stung by a hot iron, Kai retrieves his hand. He is frowning, but he isn’t looking at Sehun anymore. “You’re… bruising there.”

Sehun’s breathing shallows. “Oh.”

“You should… get some ice for that.” He hurries over to his wardrobe and fishes out a plain white t-shirt. As they get dressed without letting their eyes wander to each other, Kai buckles a belt around his waistband and Sehun runs his fingers through his blonde hair to neaten it. Then yanking their shoes on, they silently lace up their sneakers.

“Do you plan to go to the afternoon classes?” Kai asks when Sehun picks up his bag.

“Yes,” he says as if it is obvious. “Aren’t you?”

Kai licks his lips. “Do… you… have to?”

It takes Sehun a moment to reply. He lowers his bag back to the desk. “I guess not,” he sighs and he notices how Kai’s face lights up. “Besides, we have to deal with this thing first. I think maybe the library has something on Dark Astral Projection.”

“Yeah. Yeah. But let’s grab something to eat first. I haven’t eaten shit for a day.” He unlocks the door and holds it open. Sehun suppresses a smile and walks out into the corridor. So he’s skipping classes with Kai now? Maybe this is some sort of prank that Kai would pull on him later. But Sehun doubts it.

“Did you… sleep well?” he inquires as they descend down the stairs. Kai only snatches a glimpse of Sehun before he looks away.

“Yeah. You?”

“Yeah.”

After a moment, when they reach the ground, Kai smirks in his way. A couple of female students walk past them, doing that whispering-giggling thing, looking at Kai. “You were so soft like a pizza dough in my bed last night,” Kai scoffs at Sehun.

Sehun blinks at him in horror as the girls burst into a laugh as they storm past him. “What is wrong with you?” he hisses, shoving Kai’s shoulder. “You’re such a—”

“Prick. Jerk. Asshole. I know,” Kai shrugs, still with the lopsided grin plastered to his sexy ass lips. Sehun feels the blood rushing to his cheeks. “Seriously. You really were.”

“Stop it,” Sehun growls through his grit teeth. “You were the soppy cry-baby last night. _Oh, don’t leave me, Sehun. Stay, Sehun. I’m scared, Sehun._ ”

It is Kai’s turn to flush. He averts his gaze away from Sehun, who flashes a victorious smile. “I did not say that,” he mumbles to himself.

“Sehun!” Chanyeol’s voice booms through the corridor and Kai groans, without even looking back at Chanyeol, who is dashing towards them.

“God, someone give that guy the cockblocker of the century award.” Sehun hears Kai hiss under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Kai mutters.

Chanyeol is breathless when he catches up to them. “Kai, your…” he pants. “Your mother… she’s back.”

“What?” Kai’s eyes widen. “She’s back? Where is she? Is she okay?”

“Yeah. I was just about to go look for you guys in your room. You didn’t show up in any of the classes today. Your father’s here, too,” he says, turning to Sehun.

“ _My_ father?” Sehun rasps.

“Where are they?” Kai demands.

“Office.”

Shoving past Chanyeol, both Kai and Sehun race towards the Headmistress’ office. They cease to a stop when they reach the outside of the office, where Dillan, her husband, Faiion, Kris and Shixun are all gathered with a couple of the school’s teachers. Dillan is saying something to Professor Gi and Miss Hani as Shixun is wrapped in Kris’ arms. Only then does Sehun realize Shixun is sobbing into Kris’ shoulder as Kris keeps a hand cupping and stroking the back of Shixun’s head. Kris’ eyes are red, too and he’s whispering something to Shixun, brushing his lips on the top of Shixun’s head.

Kai takes slow steps towards them and Sehun silently follows him. “Mom, Dad.” Kai says and Dillan turns around.

“Where were you? Did you not attend your classes today?” she inquires tiredly. “Never mind that.”

“Dad,” Sehun walks over to Faiion who heaves a sigh, draping an arm around the back of Sehun’s shoulders. “What happened?”

“It’s Aunt Gwenna,” Faiion mutters, stroking Sehun’s arm as if to comfort him. “She’s… dead.”


	18. Vague Concepts

Though there is no strength in his fingers, Sehun buttons his coat without any emotive protest, keeping a languid gaze on his reflection in the mirror. The gloomy ambience is enriched with the dark clouds cast over the sun outside, stretching their depressive limbs of despair to the ground. The invisible wound in his heart is beginning to scar and this is yet to be the greatest grief he will need to endure. With nothing left to pawn, he succumbs to the sorrow. Little by little, he lets it consume him. The numbness pounds in his head. He smoothens the lapels of his black coat and lets his hands drop to his sides. His stare remains on the pale, poor reflection of himself.

He could have avoided this. He still could. He could spare himself and everyone from the painful grief.

“Are you okay?” he hears Kris’ faint voice outside in the hallway, to which Shixun answers with a hushed “yes”.

Sehun adjusts his gelled hair and sucks in a deep breath. The mansion is as quiet as a grave. Giving his dead reflection a final glance, he turns his back to the mirror and storms out of the room. He does not head downstairs. Instead, he weaves his sombre way to the floor above.

He finds Kai alone in his room, standing before the full-length mirror, clad in black shirt and pants as he folds the black necktie around his neck. Sehun stands at the doorway, watching Kai restlessly prancing on his feet, struggling with the tie.

“Urgh! Fucking shit!” Kai lets out a ferocious growl of exasperation and flings the necktie to the floor before flumping on the edge of his bed. His tear-strained, red, puffed eyes are filled to the brim with anguish and regret, Sehun notices. He looks terribly exhausted and angry. Angry at himself.

Sehun walks in and picks up the necktie. Kai raises his eyes to glare at Sehun, but his expression gradually softens. He hasn’t seen or talked to Kai since the day their parents told them that Gwenna is gone.

He lowers to one of his knees before Kai, between Kai’s legs and drapes the necktie around the back of Kai’s neck, around the buttoned shirt collar. Sehun carefully folds and winds the necktie.  Except for the sound of Kai’s shallow breathing, there is nothing but silence between them. Silence that is waiting to be filled with guilt and grief. “It wasn’t your fault,” Sehun says in a low voice, knowing precisely what Kai must be struggling with.

“I opened the tombstone,” Kai mutters and Sehun looks up to his bloodshot eyes.

“We don’t know if… that’s what killed her.” They had found Gwenna dead in the grove behind the mansion. It might have not been Arthur. For all that Sehun knows, he could be wrong about everything.

He slides the bunched up tie, tightening it, and pulls Kai’s shirt collar down, straightening it neatly. That is when Kai catches Sehun’s hand beneath his and lowers it to his chest. Sehun blinks at him as Kai’s heart beats rhythmically against his palm. The moment freezes between them.

“Tell me not even the slightest part of you thinks that it _is_ my fault,” Kai says, pressing Sehun’s hand to his chest. Through the silky fabric of Kai’s shirt, Sehun feels the warmth of his chest.

Sehun, a little out of breath, keeps mum. He has not seen this side of Kai before. This beautiful side of him that Sehun wants to hug and offer comfort. All the animosity between them seems to have dissipated for a moment. It isn’t Kai’s fault. It’s his own. All of this is Sehun’s own fault. He messed with the fates of everyone and now everyone’s paying for it.

“Kai.” As soon as he hears his mother’s voice surging into the room, Sehun yanks his hand back and jolts up to his feet. Kai stands up beside him. “Sehun,” Grace says, blinking in Sehun’s way. She has her auburn hair pinned on one side and flowing down her front. She is all dressed in a simple black dress with a thin silver chain and a diamond pendant around her neck. “Oh, you’re here, too.” Her voice is thick and eyes are tired. She has been running everywhere, preparing for the service while mourning at the same time. She hasn’t cried in front of anyone, not even Sehun, but he knows more than anybody else, Grace has to be the one hurting the most right now. She has some stacked envelopes in her hands. “I... uh… found this in Gwen’s locker.” She hands Sehun an envelope. In confusion, Sehun accepts it. The sealed envelope is addressed to him. “There’s one for you, too, Kai.” She hands Kai an envelope. “There’s one for everyone.”

“Mom…” Sehun starts, but he doesn’t know what he should say. His mother smiles and steps forward. Caressing Sehun’s cheek, she lets out a heavy sigh.

“Of course, she would have known…” Grace trails off, hanging her head and sniffs. “Anyway, come down quick. We have to leave soon.”

“Mom,” he grabs his mother’s hand. “We have something to tell you,” he briefly looks to Kai, who is ripping the seal of the envelope.

“Sure, darling,” she sighs. “But can it wait? I have to… go.”

Sehun nods, pursing his lips. When Grace has stormed out of the room, Sehun opens his envelope.

There’s a card in the size of postcard in it. He slides it out.

_‘I know what my destiny is. And I’ve followed it. It’s time for you to follow yours.’_

Sehun stares at the cursive writing for a moment, trying to take it all in. This can’t be happening… Gwenna is capable of seeing the paths to the future. She would have seen this, too. But what does her message mean? She doesn’t want Sehun to alter her destiny? He clenches his jaw and swallows.

Kai is staring at his own card. When he turns to face Sehun, he holds the card out.

_‘Sometimes, you need not fear your weaknesses. Embrace them. And your fears will fear you. Let the speck of light guide you through your darkness.’_

“She knew,” Kai exhales.

“She did,” Sehun mutters.

“Speck of light.” Kai tosses the card to his bed and picks up his coat.

“Kai,” Sehun touches Kai’s shoulder from behind and Kai freezes under his touch. “Maybe there’s still something we can do.”

“There isn’t, Sehun.” He pulls away from Sehun’s hand and pulls his coat on.

 

* * *

 

Everyone who attends the funeral service silently offer their condolences to the family members. The casket is adorned with white and dusky pink roses along with bunches of a cacophony of hydrangeas—Gwenna’s favourite flower. Jule and her family are present. Amber and her father, too.  However, Sehun does not recognize most of the people who are there. One by one, the speeches end.

They bid her goodbye.

Kai stays close to Xiomara, constantly at her side as she silently sobs into his chest. Shixun is nowhere near Kris. He’s standing with Sehun instead, holding his brother’s hand as the casket is lowered into the grave. Dezmond stands strong, keeping an arm wrapped around his daughter, who has her face buried into Kai’s chest. Faiion and Grace are standing amidst the others.

“She was like our mother, too,” Shixun murmurs under his breath with his hand tightening around Sehun’s.

“I know,” Sehun says, keeping his eyes on the casket.

“I’m going to hurt whoever that did this.”

Sehun glances to his brother. Shixun’s eyes are welled up with stubborn tears. Letting out a sigh, Sehun pulls his brother into his arms and lets Shixun sob into his shoulder. He, then looks over to Kai and locks gazes with him. Even from here, he can read Kai’s expression lucidly.

_It is my fault._

 

* * *

 

There is still a way. Sehun can bring Gwenna back. He has the power to do that. The question is, _should_ he? He doesn’t know Gwenna that well. He hadn’t had the chance to get closer to her, but she was the closest thing to an actual family he had. She understood him. She knew him. She was unselfish, she put the welfare and happiness of everyone else’s before her own. From the moment Sehun was dragged into this world, Gwenna had been the only person who was completely selfless. She almost died in the other fate, and she actually died in this once she had helped everyone she needed to help. This is her destiny. Sehun can change it. But would Gwenna want that? Does _he_ want that?

“How are you doing?” Allis asks, walking up to Sehun who is standing in the corner of the hall. She is smiling, but her eyes are swollen, too. “All right?”

“Yeah,” Sehun purses his lips for a second. “I’m… fine. Shixun seems more…” he trails off, scanning the crowd of black for his brother. He spots Shixun with Kris and Jungkook. Dezmond and Grace are swarmed by people offering their solace.

“He loved Gwen,” Allis sighs. “It’ll be okay. Gwenna would want us all to be okay.”

“It just… happened so suddenly.”

Allis nods. Sehun’s gaze flicks to Amber who approaches them. “My condolences,” she tells Sehun.

Sehun bow his head. “Thank you.”

Amber turns to face Allis. “My father and I will help you find whoever that caused all this.”

“It will be appreciated,” Allis says. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course. Gwenna’s daughter. I was looking for her.”

Sehun glances around the hall and says, “She must be outside. I saw her head out a while ago.”

Amber nods her head and flashes a faint smile before she turns around.

“Your mother is tougher than she looks, doesn’t she?” Allis says, gazing to Grace. “Sometimes I forget that she and Gwenna have done the most impossible things. They both always seemed to be in control of everything. An admirable quality.”

Sehun fixes her a dubious look. “What sort of… impossible things?”

Allis shrugs. “All sorts. An amazing pair they were. Grace is crushed,” she frowns heavily. Sehun lets out an audible sigh and his eyes follow his father, who is attending some of the guests. Dillan is by his side.

“Excuse me,” he withdraws from Allis and walks over to Faiion. “Dad,” he calls, grabbing his father’s arm.

“Yes, son?” Faiion faces him, but only for a brief second before he is interrupted by someone.

“Dad, I need to speak to you.”

“Okay,” he gives Sehun his attention. But at that instant, Sehun’s gaze falls on Kai, who is slipping away from the crowd and is heading upstairs. “What is it, Sehun?”

Sehun looks back to his father. “Uh… can we talk later? When everyone’s gone? It’s sort of important.”

“Of course.”

Sehun nods his head rapidly and brushes past Faiion before he hurries after Kai.

He doesn’t find Sehun on the second floor, so he climbs up to the third. Kai is not in his room either. And when Sehun looks forward, he notices that the library’s door is opened. He swallows the lump that chokes him.

Hasn’t anyone found out about the mess in the library? Neither Kai nor Sehun had the opportunity to tell anyone about what had happened so far. But at least someone should have realized. He doesn’t expect them to pay any attention to anything other than Gwenna for the past couple of days, though.

His jaw falls slacking when he walks into the library, only to see everything is back in order, as though not even a book was removed from the shelf. He stands still, frozen for a moment, vacantly gawking at the organized library. His breath quickens. What the hell?

There is a faint, muffled cry that echoes throughout the library. Sehun’s heart clenches as his chest tightens. Had it been just his imagination or hallucination? He’s pretty sure that’s not the case. What the fuck are they facing?

He follows the subtle sound of the cry and finds Kai sunk on the floor with his back slumped against a bookshelf. His coat and necktie are discarded, and his shirt is all rumpled. He’s an utter mess. “Kai,” Sehun lets out shakily as his heart aches and stomach knots.

“It was my fault,” Kai exhales, his cheeks and lips stained with tears. He bangs his head back on the shelf repeatedly. “It was my fucking fault!” he cries for the whole library to hear.

Sehun drops to his knees before him and hesitantly brings a hand to Kai’s shoulder. “Stop. Stop it, okay?” he can feel his own sob rising in his throat, stinging the back of his eyes.

“I thought it’d be harmless. I should have fucking died, not Gwenna!”

“Kai, please, don’t say such things,” Sehun pleads in a shaky breath. He might lose it, too. The tears flow from the Kai’s red eyes uncontrolled. “We don’t know if you actually unleashed something from the tombstone. Even if you had, we don’t know if that’s what—”

“That is what killed her, Sehun! Look around you!” he cries, grabbing Sehun’s necktie. “This… thing is messing with us! It has been messing with me for years! Chasing me, hunting me down every time I close my eyes, to the extent that I became afraid of even closing them. Had it not been for you, I never even would have had a single ounce of peace! I opened that door. I killed Gwenna.”

“No, you didn’t!” Sehun rasps, taking Kai’s face into his hands. “We’ll tell our parents. We’ll tell everyone. They’d help.”

“What do we tell them?” Kai’s glassy eyes are now mad with infuriation. “That I was the one who caused all this? Because I was born with this fear of darkness?! Because I know, Sehun and you do, too. I killed Gwenna. I took Xi’s mother away from—”

Not only his voice, but also his breath is cut off when Sehun shuts him up with his own lips. The salt of the tears is thick on Kai’s lips and Sehun tastes it, he tastes all of it as he kisses Kai feverously. Their smashed lips move in a ferocious heat, begging for more, chasing after each other.

He is kissing Kai.

And Kai is kissing him back.

Twice as hard.

When Sehun pulls away from the kiss, wide-eyed and shocked at what he had done, Kai’s eyes droop low. His parted lips are allowing access for air as he lightly pants, hand still clutching Sehun’s necktie. Their lips are trembling, Sehun’s aching for more.

Then the air is completely knocked out of Sehun’s lungs when Kai lurches forward, cupping the back of Sehun’s head while clenching the hair, and crashes their lips together again. This time the kiss is painfully slow, as though they are savouring every line on their hot lips. Holy shit, Kai is kissing him. Kai is kissing him?!


	19. Smile and Hurt

Kai’s muddled senses are seduced by the heat of Sehun’s lips. His heart pounds harder at every subtle gasp that escapes Sehun’s hot mouth, surrendering to the authority of Kai’s mouth. It’s odd, kissing is odd. But it’s so good. The fact that Sehun is kissing him back knocks all the wind out of Kai’s lungs. Their breaths mingle as Kai gently holds Sehun’s cheeks, the kiss deepening steadily. He is unable to think straight with Sehun’s lips moulding into Kai’s.

His hand drifts to the back of Sehun’s neck and he cups it. Sehun had kissed him. Oh, Kai could die this instant and he wouldn’t care. Sehun had kissed him and he is still kissing him. He is out of breath, but he doesn’t let it bother him. He wants to kiss Sehun all that he can right this instant. When the tips of their tongues stroke against one another, Kai feels like he might go completely insane as Sehun lets out a sensuous whimper. Does Sehun even realize that he’s driving Kai mad? What does this mean? Why did Sehun kiss him? Why is he _letting_ Kai kiss him? Kai doesn’t want to think about any of that right now. Sehun’s lips and his kiss smother the grief, the murderous sorrow, and Kai needs this distraction. He needs Sehun. More than Sehun will ever know.

When he presses their lips tight together, assertively sucking Sehun’s bottom lip, he doesn’t hear a protest from Sehun. With a hand raised to Kai’s chest, Sehun lets him ravage his lips and Kai realizes he is kissing like an inexperienced novice while Sehun returns the kisses with certainty, sanguine like a veteran. Kai tries to not to think about the fact that Sehun has kissed other people.

Sehun breaks the kiss for the second time, his hand gently pushing Kai’s chest back. Kai leans in, chasing after Sehun’s lips for more and Sehun gives them to him for a little while longer. Kai’s fingers slip into the hair on the nape of Sehun’s neck as he swipes his tongue along Sehun’s throbbing bottom lip. This moment between them is unforeseen and completely unexpected. And yet, Kai has never been happier and more miserable in his life.

When they finally pull apart, sobbing for air, their eyes stretch open and Sehun stares into Kai’s longing eyes. The moment is over.

 

* * *

 

There is no way to tell the time, but Kai is certain some good hours has passed. The guests must be leaving and the evening must be wrapped in a sombre darkness. The mansion is quieter than ever. They sit wordlessly in the library, backs leaned against the bookshelf, without even catching a glimpse of each other. The silence flows easily between them and neither one of them bothered to utter a word for hours. Breath has been restored and Kai’s mind is clearer now. He had a brief meltdown earlier, which Sehun had so easily pulled him out of. But now, a new conflict is storming inside his heart.

Sehun hasn’t said anything or made the slightest remark on the impromptu kiss and Kai doesn’t know if he wants to talk either. It boggles his mind. Why would Sehun be remotely nice to him, let alone kiss him full on mouth? Had Kai seemed that pathetic? Did Sehun even _want_ to kiss him? Kai recalls how repulsed Sehun was when Kai pulled that stunt in the feast hall and kissed him. Should it even be called a kiss? Compared to what they had done a moment ago, the kiss in the feast hall is nothing.

If that isn’t the only travail at the moment, Kai is further dejected by the assumption that Gwenna is dead because of what he had done. Would Xiomara ever forgive him if she knew? No one knows for certain that there was indeed something in the tombstone, that it was Arthur Prescott, that he was the one who caused Gwenna’s disappearance and death. But it all happened once Kai had opened the tombstone and Sehun knows it, too. In fact, after what happened in the library that night, they both know someone is after them. It was Sehun’s idea that whatever that was in the tombstone had something to do with Arthur, and for valid reasons, Kai is starting to believe it. Arthur was the only one other Recherché with a darkness Flair. As much as he wants to concentrate on the arguments that counter their assumption, Kai is pretty much losing the debate.

“We… should go down,” Sehun’s voice breaks the silence and Kai is snapped away from his thoughts. He hesitantly looks over to Sehun, who is gazing at him with languid, tired eyes. “We have to tell them.”

Kai turns his gaze away and stares at the library’s polished floor. Whatever that is messing with them, it’s doing a darn good job. He knows it wasn’t just his imagination. Everything that happened in the library that night _did_ happen. It is trying to mess with their heads. “I can’t,” he mutters, clenching his eyes shut and throws his head back on the shelf.

Sehun stays mum for a moment before he lets out a sigh. “They’re the only ones who can help us if we did unleash something from the tombstone.”

Kai’s eyes fly open and he glares at Sehun. “ _We_? I did it, Sehun.”

“I was there with you.”

“That doesn’t make you a part of any of this.”

Sehun purses his lips and weakly stares at Kai for a moment. Then, exhaling a heavy breath, he lowers his gaze. “I want to be a part of this. I want to help you through this.”

It surprises a scoff out of Kai. “And if this is indeed Arthur that I unleashed? How are you going to help me through that?”

“I’ll do what I can,” he says firmly. “But first, we need to tell our parents.”

Kai shakes his head. “I can’t tell them I was the one who caused Gwenna’s death.”

“Again, we don’t know that for sure. You might just be stressing yourself out for no reason. You need to calm down.”

Kai arches a brow. “Is that why you kissed me? To calm me down?”

Sehun’s eyes widen. He opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it, glancing away. Then he says, “You kissed me, too.”

“You kissed me first.”

That earns Kai a scowl. “I don’t want to talk about that right now. We have a bigger problem on our plate.”

“No,” Kai shifts so that he is facing Sehun. His heart swells and he fights the urge to reach out and hold Sehun’s hand. “Tell me. Why… did you do that?”

Sehun’s cheeks flush under the dim light of the library.  He isn’t even looking at Kai anymore. “I don’t know,” he utters under his breath. “I… shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to do that. I don’t know why I did it.”

Kai slumps back against the bookshelf and lets out a shaky breath. The taste of Sehun’s lips still lingers on his mouth, silently torturing him. “Did you do it to… distract me?”

After a moment, Sehun says, “Yes. Can we drop this now?” He pushes himself up to his feet and looks down at Kai. “We need to tell them, Kai. If you don’t, then I will.”

Kai scrubs his face with his palms and grabs his coat and necktie before he rises to his feet. He meets Sehun’s eyes. “You could have just hit me with a book. You didn’t have to kiss me.”

“What—” he is cut off when Kai shoves past him, clenching his fists so tight that his nails dig into his palms. Kai grits his teeth. Culpability, grief and sorrow are simply replaced by hopelessness. “Kai,” Sehun calls, hurrying after him and grabs hold of his arm just when he is about to step out of the library.

“Don’t,” he pulls his arm free. “I don’t have the… mental strength to do this right now, Sehun. You can just hurt me however you want tomorrow.” He doesn’t wait for a reply as he storms out of the library. Kai understands that the worst feeling in this world is unknowingly being hurt by the one he loves. The kiss probably had meant nothing to Sehun.

He is grateful when Sehun does not push him any further as he silently follows behind. When they reach the second floor, he hears the faint noise of weeping before he sees Shixun crying in the hallway, shoving Kris’ hand off his shoulder. Both Sehun and Kai come to a halt, watching the couple’s common dispute for a moment.

“Shixun, come on. Don’t do this,” Kris begs in a very low voice, trying to edge closer to wrap Shixun with his arms.

Shixun takes a step back, frowning at Kris with tears glossing his eyes. “Can you please… leave me alone?” he miserable pleads on the other end. “I don’t want to look at you right now, Kris.”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t in my right mind when I did it, Shixun.”

“You chose _now_ to tell me this, Kris? When I’m mourning?! Can you please just… go?” he sobs, wiping his cheeks with the sleeves of his shirt.

“Please, Shixun. I can’t… it was a mistake.”

“Trusting _you_ was a mistake, Kris. Fucking leave me alone.”

“Shixun.”

Sehun is gaping at them beside Kai, who wants to roll his swollen eyes. Shixun and Kris argue as much as they canoodle. God knows what their argument this time is about.

Kai proceeds downstairs and Sehun tags along shortly after.

“They’re fighting,” Sehun says.

“I know,” Kai mumbles. “But like you said, we have bigger problems on our plate. Besides, you and your brother are used to hurting people without even knowing it, right?”

“What the hell does that supposed to mean?!” Sehun hisses, yanking Kai by the arm. This is forever going to be their relationship. One moment, they’re embracing each other in their arms and the next, they’re choking each other by their necks.

“Kai,” Faiion’s voice courses into the hallway and Sehun releases Kai’s arm. Mark is at Faiion’s side. “Will you be spending the night?”

Kai’s eyes flick to his brother. “Mom and Dad already went home,” says Mark. “I’m about to leave. Are you and Kris coming?”

“I’m coming,” Kris says behind them, walking up to them. His eyes are so red and puffy, Kai almost wonders if the argument is really that serious between his brother and Shixun.

Kai looks to Sehun, who is frowning. Then he glances to Faiion. “Is everyone else gone?”

Faiion nods his head, arching an eyebrow. He looks tired, too.

Then heaving a sigh, Kai says, “I’ll stay.”

Giving Kai’s shoulder a clap, Mark brushes past him with Kris following him behind. “Dad,” Sehun calls. “We have something to tell you.”

Faiion blinks at them, gazing at Kai from top to toe. “If this is about you two seeing each other, I think it can wait.”

“No!” Sehun cries as if that is the most execrable idea ever. Kai tries not to frown so obviously. “No, Dad. It’s about the door. The locked one. And the… tombstone.”

Faiion’s expression wilted faster than a flower in autumn. “What… How did you… know about that?”


	20. The Obstacle is the Path

“How do you know about the tombstone?” Faiion’s voice is strained, but he looks more bothered than angry. Kai takes a step forward to put himself before Sehun.

“So you know about it,” Kai says. “Why is it there? What’s the—” He is cut off when he hears Shixun’s screech from upstairs.

“Dad! Dad!” Shixun cries and without even wasting a second, Faiion shoves past Kai and Sehun, sprinting up the staircase. Sehun only flashes Kai a horrified look before he spins around and races after his father. With heart hammering against his chest, Kai bolts after them. “Dad!”

“Shixun!” Faiion hollers, darting through the hallway. They come to a halt at the doorway of a bedroom door. “Grace!”

“Dad!” Shixun gasps, kneeling beside Grace’s motionless body on the floor. Sehun drags his feet into the room with eyes ballooned and jaw slacked. “Something… happened to Mom. I just found her on the floor,” Shixun blurts out, his hands tightly gripping his mother’s arm. “She’s not waking up.”

Faiion checks for her pulse first. “Oh, God. Grace?” he calls, but there isn’t any response. “Damn it,” he collects his wife into his arms and lifts her up. Sehun takes Shixun’s hand to calm him down. Kai blinks at them. How is Sehun so composed when Shixun is a crying mess? “I’ve to take her to a hospital,” he says hastily and hurries out of the room. The rest scurry after him. “Kai,” Faiion calls without looking back as he hurtles down the stairs with unconscious Grace in his arms. “You can drive, yes?”

“Uh… yeah. Wait, Faiion, I have to—”

“Take a car of mine. Drive home.” He turns his head halfway around. “Take Shixun and Sehun with you. I’ll call your parents as soon as I can. I don’t want you to stay here alone tonight.”

“Let us come,” Shixun urges. “Dad, let us come along!”

“No, Shixun.”

When they reach the car, they help Faiion settle Grace in the backseat. “Dad,” Shixun mutters with tears rolling down his cheeks. “Is s-she going to be okay?” his lips are trembling as hard as his hands.

“She’ll be fine, Shixun,” Faiion says and jumps into the driver’s seat.

As the car drives away, Kai stands still, gripping his fists. He glances to Shixun, who looks like he might pass out due to sheer exhaustion, and then to Sehun, who is simply gawking into the night.

“Why does shit keep happening to us?” Shixun murmurs, wiping his cheeks with the cuffs of his shirt.

“Are you all right?” Sehun inquires, curling a hand around Shixun’s arm.

“No, Sehun. I’m not,” he says through his grit teeth.

“She’s going to be okay, Shixun.”

The brothers face each other—Shixun’s expression is a little harder. “Like you ever cared about her,” he spits and strides back into the house.

Kai notices how Sehun’s face withers as he drops his gaze to the ground beneath. “Don’t mind him,” Kai says calmly. “It’s been a tough day on all of us and… now, Grace…” his heart thunders again. “It’s probably just stress.”

Sehun brings his head up and shakes it. “Don’t. I don’t want to hear it. Let’s just leave.” He turns his back to Kai.

Kai couldn’t bring himself to say anything. They both know that if something is wrong with Grace, it is because of him. It is because of Arthur. And Kai knows Sehun will blame him for it.

* * *

 

 

 

“Boys, come in,” Dillan welcomes them into the house, clad in her nightwear and robe. Sehun couldn’t help but gape at the interior of the house. The house itself is huge and everything inside is sharpened with elegance and unconventional novelty. Glass walls, monochromatic furniture and modern fandangle enrich the interior. Kai comes from a super-rich family, that’s obvious to see. Kai casually saunters into the house.

Sehun’s insides feel like they are on fire. He has been restless ever since he had seen Grace on the floor, inanimate and unconscious. He does not think he can rest until he hears something from Faiion.

“Shixun,” Dillan says, smiling at Shixun, who gives her a brief hug. Sehun stares at them. Dillan is so different when she’s not in school. Even now, she is embracing Shixun as if to comfort him and she has always been an authoritative figure in school. It is odd seeing her in this new light. “Your Dad called. He told me what happened. Don’t worry, all right?” she cups Shixun’s cheek and pats it endearingly. “Kai,” she turns around, only to find Kai slumped on the couch with his shoed feet dropped on the coffee table. “Jesus Christ,” she stomps over to him and knocks his feet off the table. Kai scowls up at her. There is grief even in their eyes, but they are trying their level best to not to let the sorrow show. Except that Kai had in front of Sehun and he probably doesn’t plan on ever doing that again. Especially after the… kiss. Kai was right. It is a difficult day for everyone.

“Mom, I’m tired,” he protests.

“We all are. See to it that Sehun is comfortable in the guest room. Go. Now.”

Groaning, Kai pushes himself up to his full height.

“And Shixun, Kris is in his room,” says Dillan. Shixun’s face crumples. “You can just go right up.”

“Uh,” Shixun objects. “I’ll just room with Sehun tonight.”

Dillan blinks vacantly at him. “Oh… okay. Why don’t you boys go freshen up and get ready for bed? I’ll send you some hot chocolate over.”

Kai picks up his coat and starts up the stairs. He only glances back to Sehun once and Sehun follows him.

“Shixun, wait,” Dillan stops him. “Are you okay, dear?”

Sehun could not hear Shixun’s hushed response as he ascends up the stairs. “We should ask your mother about the tombstone,” he suggests when they reach the top.

Kai lets out a long sigh and faces Sehun. “How about we do that tomorrow? Let’s just call it a day. She’s tired, too. Besides, we should worry about Grace right now.”

Sehun could not argue with that. He isn’t sure he has the strength either. He nods his head.

“This way,” Kai leads him through the hallway. It has been a day full of emotive occurrences and Sehun wants it to end already. He stares at Kai’s back. They had kissed and how does Kai seem so normal about it? They had freaking kissed! Sehun does not even know why he thought kissing Kai at that moment felt like the best thing to do to _help_ Kai. He does not know why he _wanted_ to kiss Kai. He does not know why he loved it so much when Kai kissed his back until he was completely out of breath. A part of Sehun believes Kai had done that at a moment of weakness. But another part of him wants to believe… he doesn’t know what he wants to believe. That Kai kissed him because he wanted it, too? That the first time Kai had kissed him in the feast hall was not meant to defame him?

 _“You can just hurt me however you want tomorrow.”_ Kai had said. Hurt _him_? Does he even realize how badly Sehun is hurting himself? How is Sehun hurting _him_? God, he wishes he had never kissed him. Kai might be worn out tonight, but when he gets past all this, he is definitely going to use it against Sehun. This is horrible.

To be honest, Sehun could not afford to brood about this right now. The only person who knew him is gone and he isn’t sure he’ll be able to cope with any of this anymore. Not alone.

Kai opens a room’s door and Sehun walks in. “I’ll… bring you some clothes to change into,” Kai says and leaves Sehun in the room. He hears Kris’ raspy voice in the hallway, followed by Kai’s before they disappear.

Letting out a sigh, Sehun flumps on the queen-sized bed and rubs his face in his hands. When a moment passes, he stands up and walks over to the windows. He pushes the open and summons a gust of air to chill the room. Then, he looks to the bathroom door. He could use a shower.

Things will get better tomorrow.

As much as Sehun wants to just alter Gwenna’s destiny, he isn’t sure he should. Gwenna would not have wanted that, so if he were to do it, it’ll be out of sheer selfishness.

After taking the shower, he steps out of the bathroom, clad in his boxers and dries his hair with one of the fresh towels he found on the shelf. He leans his side on the wall beside the window and glances outside. Kai and his family have their own land, too. The house is surrounded by its very own grove. So there are only trees as far as Sehun’s vision could stretch.

He wonders if Grace is doing all right and hopes that Faiion would inform them of her state as soon as he can. All of them deserve some rest after everything that has happened. He needs to talk to Kai about the kiss, but he isn’t sure he wants to. What would he say? _Hey, we kissed, but let’s just forget about it?_ Neither of them is going to forget it. Or maybe Kai will.

There’s a knock on the door and Sehun turns around to see Kai standing by the door with a stack of folded clothes in his hand. Their gazes lock for moment before Kai averts his away and treads into the room. “Here. They’re big for me, so that should be pretty snug for you,” he says in a low voice, placing the clothes on the bed. “Shixun… is… with Kris, but he’ll probably sleep here tonight.”

“Are they… okay?” Sehun knows that he doesn’t want to talk about them right now. He wants to talk about him and Kai. He wants to tell Kai that the kiss had meant nothing. It hadn’t, really. It never should have even happened in the first place.

“No, they're talking it out,” he frowns, eyes travelling down Sehun’s bared body. Sehun grabs the oversized t-shirt from the bed and pulls it on. “I actually think they might call it quits this time.” Kai looks back up at Sehun’s face. “Uh,” he rubs the back of his neck. “Good night.”

“Kai, wait,” Sehun sighs. They freeze for a moment, wordlessly staring at each other. Sehun swallows. “I’m sorry about… the… I mean, I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

Kai does not reply immediately. He looks away, biting his lower lip. “Yeah, you already said that.” He glances back up at Sehun. “But… did you…” he pauses for a second and then continues. “Feel… anything? Even a little?”

Sehun blinks, gulping. “What do you mean?”

Kai lets out a heavy breath. “Did you… Never mind.” As he twirls around and starts towards the door, Sehun stares at him, eyebrows knitted and stomach churning. He fists the towel, clenching his jaw.

Kai comes to a halt and he stiffens for a while. Sehun watches him with his heart pounding in his throat. Then closing the door, Kai hangs his head, back still facing Sehun. His breaths are loud and heavy. His hands are clenched into fists at his sides.

“I wanted to kiss you,” Kai says under his breath. “I’ve… always wanted to kiss you. I know you hate me. I know you… love someone else. But I’ve always wanted to kiss you. I… still do.” He, then turns around and stomps over to Sehun.

The wind is knocked out of Sehun’s lungs when Kai grabs the sides of his waist and slams him against the wall behind. “Kai,” Sehun gasps, eyes bulging out as he grips onto Kai’s shoulders. “What are you—”

“I want you,” he pants out, glaring into Sehun’s eyes as his furious breath grazes Sehun’s lips. “I want you, Sehun. And I want you to want me. It’s becoming way too difficult for me to even breathe when I’m with you.” He clasps a hand to Sehun’s cheek and presses their lips together, eyes clenched tight.

A sudden knock on the door yanks Kai away from Sehun with the kiss still lingering. The door creaks open and Sehun looks to his feet, silently gasping for air. “Sehun,” Dillan enters with a tray of mugs, her eyes flick to her son. “Kai, what are you doing here?”

Kai is panting with his lips parted, too. “Nothing. I’m just leaving.” He storms out of the room without sparing Sehun another look.


	21. Avowal

 

Oh, Lord. What has he done...?

Kai locks the door and slumps back against before he slides down to the floor. Burying his face in his hands, he sucks in mouthful of air. Where on earth did he get that courage from? There were plenty of incentives, but he had never thought he would _confess_ just like that. Oh, God. This is beyond embarrassing. He does not know what had gotten into him. At that moment, he just lost it.

Kai forces himself up to his feet and drags his weight to the bed. After sloppily undoing half of the shirt buttons, he collapses on the bed. His heart feels like it might hop out of his chest. He had ruined everything. He had ruined absolutely everything. Right now, he wants nothing, but to just evaporate into thin air.

The most pathetic thing is that even at this moment, he wants Sehun to be here. He wants Sehun to not to sneer or ridicule him and just accept him. He wants Sehun to tell him that he has always wanted him, too. But that is just too much to ask, isn’t it?

Fuck, he ruined everything.

 

* * *

 

His insides feel like a numb frostbite, a void of darkness. As the sleep retracts, his body is refilled with sentience and consciousness. The numbness slowly fades and the light of life is returned. That is how it feels these days. Although the darkness is no longer nightmarish, it feels empty. Every time he goes to sleep, he does not wake up until something wakes him up. His body sleeps really well, it feels relaxed when he wakes up in the morning, but it almost feels like he had not slept at all.

He sits up and glances to the sunlight pouring in through the windows. He scrubs his face with his hands and shoves the duvet aside before climbing out of the bed. He remains still on the edge of the bed, calling last night to mind. “Fuck,” he hisses under his breath, clenching his jaw. How stupid could he get?! He never wants to even see Sehun again. “You deserve to burn in hell, you stupid asshole,” he rebukes himself, pounding his fist on his forehead.

Well, what’s done is done. He can either bury himself in his duvet, and hide here forever, or he could bravely get out there and face Sehun.

He flops back on the bed and yanks the duvet over his body and head. _Nope, I can live here forever._

* * *

 

 

“Whose clothes are you wearing?” Shixun inquires when he sees Sehun exiting the bathroom, clad in borrowed t-shirt and sweatpants.

“Uh…” Sehun glances down at the clothes. “Kai lent them.”

Shixun cocks an eyebrow, perched on the bed with his legs folded. He is still wearing the shirt and pants from last night. “Since when do you guys share clothes?”

Sehun licks his lips, stopping before the mirror and neatens his hair. Since when do they share clothes? Since when do they kiss? Since when did Kai… Sehun drops his hands to his sides. Last night had been torturous, to say the least. All that Sehun could do all night was to relive the kiss, replay everything that Kai had said.

Was it real?

_“I’ve always wanted to kiss you. I know you hate me. I know you love someone else. But I’ve always wanted to kiss you. I still do.”_

Sehun rolls his hands into fists and grits his teeth. “When did you come in last night?” he asks Shixun to distract himself.

Shixun shrugs. The fatigue is palpable in his eyes and complexion.

Letting out a sigh, Sehun walks over to him and takes his seat on the bed. He takes Shixun’s hand and his brother scowls at him. It hurts a little, to think Shixun thinks so low of him. “Shixun, I know you think… I don’t care. But trust me, I do.”

Shixun scoffs, turning his face away. “Really?”

“I told you before. I do care, Shixun. Whoever I was… I’m not that person anymore. So why can’t you give me a chance?”

Shixun glares at him again and pulls his hand back. “Because I’m done giving people chances,” he spits and gets off the bed. “You know what everyone does when you’re considerate and you love them and you give them so many fucking chance?! They trample over you!”

“I understand that you’re upset about Kris.”

“About Kris?!” he snorts furiously. “I’m upset about myself, Sehun! Half of my life, I tried to not touch people because even kissing my mother’s cheek or having her kiss my forehead would cut her! So you got it all! You were the pampered one while I was always pushed aside! Kris was the first person after Mom who loved me for whoever I was! Do you remember our fourteenth birthday?! While everyone hugged and wished you well, I stood aside because people were even scared to shake my hand. And Kris… He brought me away and was willing to kiss me, even though he knew I’d hurt him. You never bothered to think how I felt! You never cared, Sehun! You had everything! And yet, you still wanted more! And I thought I was special for Kris, turns out I’m not! Isn’t that hilarious and pathetic of me?!”

“I’m sorry, Shixun,” Sehun breathes out, rising to his feet. “I swear, I’m not like that anymore.” He takes his trembling brother by his arms. “Look, I care about you more than you think. And I care about Mom and everyone. We’re brothers and I want to be there for you.”

Shixun lets out a heavy breath and surprisingly, falls forward. He limply rests against Sehun, burying his face in Sehun’s shoulder. “It’s difficult,” he mutters, clenching Sehun’s shirt. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said last night. I was just… out of my mind.”

Sehun strokes Shixun’s hair at the back of his head. “It’s okay.”

“He… slept with someone else,” he says under his breath and Sehun freezes.

“Are you talking about Kris?”

Shixun withdraws himself and hastily wipes the corners of his eyes before the tears could fall. “And he had to tell me that last night.” He hangs his head, sniffling his nose.

“Oh, my God. I’m so sorry,” Sehun rasps, blinking his ballooned eyes.

“Whatever,” he sucks in a shaky breath and starts towards the door. “It’s over anyway.”

“What do you mean it’s over, Shixun?” His heart starts hammering against his chest. All the Shixun ever wanted was to be with Kris and he was willing to sacrifice anything for him in the other fate. This can’t be happening.

“I can’t forgive him for what he did,” he says blatantly. “Besides, I could go on without him.”

As Shixun vanishes out the door, Sehun gapes at his absence. This is a little overwhelming even for Sehun to take in.

He wends his way downstairs and after coursing through several hallways, he finds himself in the kitchen. Mark, Kris and their father are all gathered around the kitchen counter. Dillan has her hands cupping Shixun’s face by the sink counter as she grins at him. “You definitely could use a cup of coffee, dear,” she says and Shixun nods. He, then looks to Kris. “Ah, Sehun, come, sit.”

“I could,” he mutters and takes his seat on the stool beside Kris’ father. Kris keeps his head hung low.

“Did you sleep well?” Kris’ father inquires, handing Shixun a plate of pancakes.

“Barely,” Shixun sighs. “But I’m sure someone would have slept really well, now that they must feel absolutely free.”

Then with all abruptness, Kris jolts up and storms out of the kitchen. Sehun flumps on the freshly vacated stool. “What’s that all about?” Mark asks, arching an eyebrow at Shixun, who simply shrugs in response.

“All right, I’m off to work. Come here,” the man stands up and pecks on Dillan’s cheek before he hurries away.

“Is something wrong with you two?” Dillan asks Shixun, handing him and Sehun their mugs of coffee.

Shixun does not reply.

“Um, did Dad call?” Sehun interrupts and Dillan flashes him a guilty look.

“No, I’m afraid I haven’t heard anything. But I can go check on them at the hospital on my way to school.”

Sehun glances to Shixun with a concerned gaze. “Dad didn’t call at all? You don’t know how Mom is?” Shixun asks.

“I tried to reach him earlier. Twice,” Dillan says. “But I didn’t get through. Don’t worry. I’m sure they’re fine. Probably a little occupied. Okay, now, I have to go get ready. You boys can entertain yourselves, I’m sure. I don’t want you to sit around and mope all day. Freshen up and get yourselves ready for school. I won’t be allowing you to stay away from FLAC for too long,” she smirks, although her grief is still obvious in her expression. She is trying her best to not to let it show. Sehun sees where Kai gets his perseverance and stubbornness from.

 “Will you be going back tonight or tomorrow?” Dillan asks.

“Probably tomorrow,” Shixun says. Mark claps a hand to Shixun’s back and then to Sehun’s.

“See you twins later,” he says and excuses himself from the kitchen.

“All right. Is Kai still sleeping? God, that boy.” A shudder is sent down Sehun’s spine when he thinks about Kai. He had pushed Sehun up against the wall last night and had not only kissed, but he had also said some things that didn’t make sense.

Dillan grabs a mug that says, ‘I HEART GRANDMA’ and has the same writing as Kai’s tattoo below. Sehun blinks at it as she fills it with freshly brewed coffee. “Oh,” Sehun gasps and Dillan looks to him. “Is that Hindi?” he asks, pointing at the mug. “Sanskrit?”

“Ah, it’s Sanskrit for coffee,” she says, smiling faintly. “It’s Kai’s favourite mug. He has this obsession for coffee, grandma and Sanskrit,” she snickers.

“Like his… tattoos?”

“Yes, you’ve noticed?” she rolls her eyes. “You have no idea how hard he argued to get them.”

Sehun swallows, wondering if Dillan knows the vulgar meanings behind the tattoos. “Do you know what they mean?”

“Victory, world and virtue or something.”

“Um,” Sehun shoots up and holds a hand out. “Let me bring it to him. I’ll wake him up.”

“You’d do that? Thank you, Sehun,” she hands Sehun the mug.

“Oh, and where is his room?”

“Top floor, second room to the left.”

When Sehun reaches the room, he raises a hand to knock on the door, but he hesitates for a moment. Then drawing in a long breath, he lightly pounds his fist on the door. There is no reply. He knocks again.

The door springs open and Sehun’s eyes pop out. Kai is standing there, freshly out of shower with only a pair of sweatpants on. His wet hair, the almost invisible, fine line of stubble on his jaw, black earring on his ear, silver chain around his neck, his abs and the thin trail of hair disappearing into the waistband of his pants, everything about him suddenly robs Sehun’s breaths.

“We need to talk,” Sehun says with blood rising to his cheeks. Kai holds the door open and Sehun walks in. His room is actually pretty decent, except for the clothes scattered on the floor. Sehun settles the mug on the sideboard and turns to face Kai. “About what you said… and did last night. I don’t… understand.”

Kai is staring right at him with his jaw clenched tight. “What didn’t you understand?”

“You…” Sehun sucks in a sharp breath before continuing. “What did you mean when you said you’ve always wanted to—” he stops himself when Kai lurches forward and grabs his wrist. While one of his hands grips Sehun’s wrist, the other flies up to cup a side of Sehun’s face. Then without any warning, Kai kisses him. Paralyzed, Sehun clenches his eyes tight and gives in into the kiss. He surrenders to the languid, passionate movements of Kai’s lips upon his. Kai’s grip tightens around Sehun’s wrist as he gently sucks on Sehun’s bottom lip. His mouth is as hot as his body.

Sehun raises his hands to Kai’s chest and presses his palms to the warm skin.

When Kai slowly breaks the kiss, Sehun exhales heavily and opens his eyes to meet Kai’s frowning eyes. “How much clearer can I be, Sehun?” Kai breathes out, gently caressing Sehun’s cheekbone with his thumb.

Sehun retrieves his hands from Kai’s chest and he lowers his gaze. “Since when?” his voice comes out as a whisper.

“For years now.”

Sehun’s eyes flick up and he frowns heavily. “Then why did you—”

“Because you don’t like me,” he mutters and drops on the end of his bed, slouching forward with his head hung. “Who am I kidding… you love someone else. I’m just… making a fool of myself. I know you think I’m awful. I’m _weird_.”

Sehun’s heart clenches. He fights the urge to brush his fingertips on his lips and relive the brief kiss again and again. He walks over to Kai and takes his seat. “I just never… imagined. You shoved me away whenever I came closer.”

“Because I never thought you would… I couldn’t… Oh, shit. This is…” he breaks off, dropping his face in his cupped hands.

“I… have something to tell you, Kai,” Sehun murmurs, curling a hand around Kai’s arm. Kai raises his head and blinks at him. “I would have told you sooner, but… There’s something you should know about me. I love someone else, yes. And I don’t think I can… be with anyone except him. I don’t want to. Not for now, at least.”

Kai pulls his hand away. “Understood.”

“No, listen. You need to know why we’re all in this mess. Why I’m here. Why I’m different now. And that there’s a chance for us to just change all of this.”

“What do you mean?”

Sehun swallows. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“I’ve kept a pretty big secret for years. I think I can handle one more.”


	22. Blowing the Lid Off

“And that’s how everything… changed in my life. In a split second. It feels like I’m living someone else’s life now,” Sehun finishes with a dry mouth. His lungs feel empty and his head, swarmed with a million thoughts. He finally glances to Kai, who has not uttered a single word or even looked to Sehun for over an hour. Sehun’s stomach flips. He isn’t trying to convince Kai about anything. He is just simply telling Kai something that he should have told months ago. Of course, back then Kai never would have believed him. Sehun isn’t sure if Kai would believe him _now_. Kai has his head hung, eyes staring at the floor or his feet. Sehun licks his lips and hesitantly brings a shaky hand to Kai’s back. When his palm touches, Kai’s back muscles flex tensely. Kai raises his head, but he does not face Sehun. “Kai?” Sehun’s splayed fingers shiver against Kai’s warm back.

 _For years_ , Kai had said. Had he… liked Sehun for years? Is that even possible? While Sehun has his own confusions, Kai appears to be having his own.

Sehun’s hand slowly slides down to the small of Kai’s back and Kai straightens up. “Kai… I’m not making this up. You can ask Chanyeol. Gwenna was the only other person who knew. She knew everything even from the start. I swear… I’m telling you the truth.”

Kai arches an eyebrow, wordlessly staring at Sehun for a moment. “Uh, okay, so… wait,” he blurts out breathlessly and starts pacing the room’s floor, rubbing his stubble-lined jaw. “I was a… teacher?”

Sehun blinks blankly. “Out of all those things, that’s what you picked up on?”

“I mean, I just find it really unlikely to happen. I hate kids.”

“Well, you definitely hated them.” Sehun mumbles. Is Kai really buying all of this?

“This is crazy,” Kai pants out, scrubbing his cheeks with his hands. All that Sehun can perceive in his expression is confusion. “I’ve heard about the Flair… One of the old Recherchés had it.”

“Yes. Kai… you… believe me?”

Kai stops in his tracks and subtly glares at Sehun. “I don’t know! Am I supposed to? It sounds ridiculously absurd!” he paces the floor again as Sehun lowers his head, gnawing on his lower lip. “But it makes sense. You seem so… different nowadays and… are you sure this isn’t some kind of sick joke?”

“No, Kai,” Sehun grunts. “I wouldn’t gain anything from lying to you.”

Kai restlessly treads, clasping his hands to his mouth. “Jesus Christ. You altered Grace’s destiny, which changed all of our fates? Who fucking gave you the right to do that?! I could be living some other life right now, right?! So could everyone else! Why didn’t you tell everyone? Why haven’t you told your parents?! If you really have this Flair, do you know how serious that is?! You can just change all of our destinies like a flip of a switch. And hold it. Why was I so much older than you? Are we all still the same? I mean, according to what you said we’re not, but I’m sure we’re not entirely different people.”

Sehun lets out a heavy sigh. “You’re… not. Yes, things are kind of different, but all of you are… the same, I suppose.”

“What do we do now?! If you can do something like that, can’t you just change Gwenna’s destiny?!”

“I don’t think I can. I mean, she’s not around anymore and I’m not even sure what her destiny is. I might change too many things if I do that. But it’s definitely an option. Kai, there’s more you should know about. Apart from all the… Grace craziness and… stuff.” Kai scowls harder. Sehun honestly does not know where to start. He had told Kai almost everything, but he had left out the most important part about them.

“Give me a moment,” Kai sucks in a loud breath and leans himself against the window. “So if this is all true, how are you… how do you live like this?”

“I asked for it, didn’t I?” Sehun sighs. “I wanted everyone to be happy. Everyone… was.”

“Don’t you miss your parents?”

“I do,” he smiles sadly. “But I don’t even exist in their lives now.”

“Why are you telling me all this even though you know there might be a chance that I don’t buy any of this?” Kai’s eyes narrow.

Sehun licks his lips and swallows the lump that begin to rise in his throat. “Because of what… you did.”

Kai is silent for a moment. Then he says, “You mean, I kissed you.”

Sehun looks up at him. “And you… said that you… I don’t know, Kai. Do you like me?” he blurts out blatantly.

Kai stares at him. “I’ve made that pretty obvious, didn’t I?”

“But _why_?!”

Scoffing, Kai smirks. “Trust me. I’ve been asking myself that question for quite some while now.”

“I thought… everyone thought you hated me. For some odd reason, you were always mean to me.”

“And you were, too, remember? Don’t talk as though you’re a fucking saint, Sehun. Or at least… you used to be? I don’t fucking know. If you changed your fate, then I guess you’re no longer the same person?! Fuck,” he growls, flipping his hair back, running his fingers through it.

“I am the same person, Kai. It’s… me. Just as how… you’re you.”

“Really?” Kai cocks his eyebrow. “So were we friends in the other fate? Or did you still find me _weird_?”

Sehun purses his lips, glancing down at his palms. “I loved you,” he whispered out with his heart racing a mile per second. His lips begin to quiver as a sob rises in his throat. While the silence stretches between them, Sehun’s breathing quickens.

When he finally musters the courage to bring his head up to meet Kai’s gaze, his heart sinks to his stomach. Kai looks as if he is in so much pain, as if someone’s choking him. His bloodshot eyes are raking Sehun without any expression of subtlety.

Sehun realizes he needs to tell more. “Kai, I… you and I were… In the other fate… I l-loved you.”

It takes Kai a while before he responds. “Is that who…” he trails off, gulping hard and blinking his eyes.

“When Chanyeol said I’m in love with someone else… he meant… you in the other… life,” Sehun whispers the last word out. It honestly feels like another life now. “Every day,” he tries to speak louder, but his voice is not cooperating. “I… feel like I’m going further and further away from him… From that life. When I… saw you in the room that day, I was so… confused, but it felt like there was still hope. Except that… you weren’t… in love with me and you weren’t exactly… the same. You were younger and… although you’re the same person, you’re just not… him. I realized that after a while.”

Kai does not say anything more. He just stands there, staring at the carpet on the floor.

“Kai, I just want to say… I’m sorry. You’re right. It wasn’t my place to decide. I altered my mother’s destiny because… at that time, I had no other choice. Unless Grace changed, there was no other way. I gave everything up. I gave you up. It had always been push and pull between us. When we just finally started to…” Sehun pauses for a second for the sob blocking his windpipe to melt into tears. He blinks those tears away. “Everything ended. I wanted a life with you… him.”

Kai droops to the floor and flumps on it, back leaned against the wall. He hugs his knees to his chest. “Get out.”

“What?”

“Get out, Sehun,” he says expressionlessly, staring at nothing.

“Kai, I did it because I had no other option.”

Kai’s eyes dart to Sehun. “I don’t care why you did it. Just fucking leave me alone, will you?”

Sehun rises to his feet. “I can… I want you to understand, Kai.”

“Understand what exactly?!” he spits, louring up at Sehun. “The fact that you just told me you love the _other_ version of _me_?”

Befuddled, Sehun gawks at him. “What? Well… yeah, but—”

“Get out.”

“Kai, listen. You’re _him_. But I just don’t… feel that way for you. It’s… complicated.”

“Sure as hell, it is,” he pushes himself up and stomps over to Sehun. His hand flies up to grab hold of Sehun’s arm. His grip almost crushes the bones. Sehun winces. “You love him,” he hisses through his grit teeth.

Sehun stares at Kai, wide-eyed.

Then Kai’s voice and tone soften. “So… what am I to do, then? Being so completely, hopelessly in love with you?”

“Kai…”

“There, I said it. What should I do now? Since I’m technically not the guy that you love?”

Sehun cringes, twisting his arm free from Kai’s grip. “I’m sorry.”

Then clenching eyes close, Kai takes a step away from Sehun. “This is pathetic. Only you can make me feel jealous of myself,” he snarls. “What did you even see in that old dude?! He’s a teacher, for god’s sakes! Old!”

Sehun could only stare at Kai throwing a temper tantrum, basically bitching about his older self. When Sehun starts to smirk a little, Kai glares at him.

“Great. Now you find it really amusing, don’t you?”

Sehun lets out a breathy chuckle. “How are you so…” he couldn’t even find the right word to describe Kai. “I thought you were all… rough and tough. Who knew you were such a soppy idiot?” he laughs, for the first time in days.

Kai’s scowl deepens. “Get out, Asherton. Before I strangle you.”

Still smiling, Sehun starts towards the door, but he is yanked to a stop when Kai grabs his wrist. Sehun turns and faces him with his smile faltering. “Kai, if I knew you… liked me, I never would have… Well, I would have at least tried to be friends with you.”

Sehun shudders when Kai clasps his hands to the sides of his face. “I don’t want to be friends with you, Sehun,” he whispers, eyes lingering on Sehun’s lips. “I want to be your… boyfriend. And if I have to wait 50 years for that… then fine.”

“You weren’t 50 years old in the other fate, Kai.”

“He sounds old. And groggy,” Kai mutters, keeping his eyes low. “Give me a chance? I will never... hurt you, Sehun.”

Sehun clenches his jaw. What is he doing? He probably shouldn’t lead Kai on if he’s going to move on any time sooner. “I… can’t, Kai.”


	23. Flawed Oversight

The matte black sky is freckled with millions of blinking specks of stars, like a widespread canvas painted by Vincent Van Gogh. The sallow orbs of glimmering fire are dusted all over the velvety night sky. The air is light, thanks to Sehun’s harmless little meddling with the weather. He would luxuriate in the starry night if only his heart weren’t so heavy that it could sink to the bottomless pit. He grips the railing of the balcony, drawing in a deep, cold breath.

Kai had asked him to tell him everything that had happened between them should Sehun ever find him. He had found him and now he had told him. Except that it had not felt like he was telling Kai. It felt like he was telling someone who only looked like Kai.

Amidst all sorts of confusions, Sehun certainly does not need this right now. Kai had confessed his feelings for him. All out of a sudden. How and when did this even happen? It is so abrupt and Sehun finds it really hard to even digest. He does not know Kai. Not this Kai. Actually, he does not even know that much about the other Kai, but at least the man he loves had not been this difficult to understand. But this younger version of him… it feels as though he was born just to make Sehun’s entire life a huge question mark. Hell, only yesterday Sehun thought Kai hates his guts and now Kai is in love with him?

Sehun could not afford to focus on this. He needs to keep his head straight. Sure, he once wished this is _his_ Kai. But now, he understands if he’s to fall for this Kai, it would have to be completely fresh. The feelings, the love. It would be like loving a new person and Sehun isn’t sure he is ready for that yet. Besides, it would never be fair to Kai, would it? To accept him when Sehun is in love with only the idea of him being the man he actually loves. Sehun doesn’t think he could love this Kai. He could, if he were only in love with Kai’s outer appearance. But he loved all of Kai. And perhaps, he still longs for him. Perhaps, he had etched Kai so hard in his heart that there is no room for anyone else. Not for the time being at least. He needs to heal. He needs to accept the reality that _his_ Kai is gone.

No matter how much he tries to convince himself that both of them is Kai, he could not make himself believe it. He could never look at this Kai the way he had looked at the other.

Then why did he kiss Kai?

Why did he let Kai kiss him?

Why did his heart flutter so painfully when Kai kissed him? When Kai told him he loved him? When Kai touched him?

Why did it hurt when he saw the misery in Kai’s face upon rejection?

Why did he want Kai to understand his reasons for rejecting him clearly?

Why does he always want Kai to smile at him?

A shudder surges down his spine. Kai needs to shoulder the fact that they can’t do this right now. Not when all hell is about to be broken loose.

“Stargazing, are we?” Kris’ steady voice startles Sehun and he spins around to see Kris walking out to the balcony, sporting a faint, lifeless smile. Sehun simply gawks at him without any noticeable expression. Kris leans over the railing, propping his forearms on it. “You okay?”

“I think I should be the one asking you the question,” Sehun says in a quiet tone.

Kris smiles. “Well, you lost your aunt. My boyfriend broke up with me. I think your distress is greater than mine.”

Sehun shifts his feet on the ground and sighs. “I guess.”

They fall silent for a moment before Kris breaks it. “Did he tell you?”

Sehun stares at him, gritting his teeth. “About what?”

Exhaling a loud and heavy breath, Kris hangs his head. “That I cheated on him.”

Unsure of what he should say, Sehun keeps mum and Kris lets out a breathy, humourless snort. “Feel like an asshole now?” Sehun asks him.

“Oh, the biggest of all,” Kris sighs. They wordlessly stare at the sky for a brief stretch of time. “I… didn’t do it, you know?”

“What?”

“I mean, I didn’t go all the way. He gave me a handjob, but that’s it.”

“Okay, you can spare me the details,” Sehun rasps.

Kris shrugs. “I was… drunk and… out of my mind. I… I know I don’t deserve any kind of forgiveness and I’m not trying to justify my stupid actions. But… I wanted him to know that I… couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t it. I love him, you know.”

Sehun purses his lips for a while and then lets out a sigh. “Well, you should let him know that a little more often.”

“He knows,” Kris says. “He knows I love him. And I fucking love _only_ him. That’s what makes him cocky and that’s why he shoves me around, pushing me to the edge to see if I’ll burst. I know, it sounds like I’m bitching about him just to make myself look good.”

Sehun scoffs. “It really does.”

“But that’s not the thing, okay? I mean, I don’t mind being the bad guy. I love him and I would just… do anything to keep him happy. But sometimes, it feels like… like… we’re confined.” That grabs Sehun’s attention immediately. “It has always been me and him. Since kids. We’ve never had the chance to date anyone else and it feels like I’ve been with him forever. Not that I’m complaining… but sometimes I wonder, you know? But that night… I couldn’t go all the way, because all that I can think about was him while I was with someone else. I just… I’m a dick, I know. But I wanted to come clean to him.”

Sehun understands Kris’ plight. He exhales exasperatedly and nods his head. “I get it. But… you and your brother have an impeccable sense of timing to confess serious stuff,” he rolls his eyes. “Shixun is… grieving. You told him at the wrong moment.”

“I know,” Kris mutters. “He was breaking down and I couldn’t take it… Seeing him like that always makes me… stupidly vulnerable and I fucking hate it. I hate how much influence he has over me.” He straightens up and faces Sehun with a baffled look. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this stuff.”

“It’s okay,” Sehun extends an arm and hesitantly strokes Kris’ arm. Kris blinks at him. “You should talk to Shixun. He’ll hear you out and he will understand you. Trust me, he loves you way too much to stay mad at you forever.”

Kris’ eyes are raking Sehun in disbelief. Then he says, “Don’t… tell… Kai.”

“Why not?”

“He has this weird thing about being righteous and loyalty when it comes to relationships.”

“Well, you could adopt that quality,” he mumbles. “Is Dillan back? Has she heard anything from Faiion?”

Kris shakes his head. “No one’s home except the four of us.”

Sehun flashes one last smile and walks back in. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

Shixun had tried to call their father earlier, but there was no luck. Now all that they can do is wait for Dillan and her husband to come back. Mark isn’t home either.

He thinks about going to his room first, but when he walks past the closed door of Kai’s room, he stops in his tracks. His heart hammers against his chest as his hand involuntarily rises to the doorknob. He doesn’t know what he wants to say to Kai, but he wants to say something.

He pushes the door open and peers into the dark room. Kai is already asleep, all tucked under the duvet. Sehun licks his lips and quietly closes the door.

Kai had asked him to give him a chance. Even after everything that Sehun had told him. How does he expect Sehun to just like him back suddenly?

Sehun lets out a tired sigh and decides to head down to grab a glass of water to drench his dry throat. He sees Kris disappearing into a room as he starts towards the staircase. He leaps down the stairs and when he almost reaches the bottom, he comes to a jerky halt.

A blurry figure moves in the darkness of the living hall. Sehun freezes on the staircase with his eyes bulging out. Is it Shixun? He opens his mouth to call out his name, but his body paralyzes when he discerns the figure. His heart skips a beat as all the wind is knocked out of his lungs.

It’s Kai.

Kai shifts in the darkness, restlessly walking around as though he is lost. All the muscles in Sehun’s body stiffen and an agonizing pain pounds through his skull.

Then with a furious speed, Sehun turns on his heel and bolts up the stairs as fast as his feet could carry him. The back of his eyes are stinging and his throat feels like a sandpaper. He races through the hallway without stopping to even catch his breath.

When he reaches Kai’s bedroom, he bursts in. The prickling sting bounces in his skull and the bile rises up his throat, terribly stunned when he spots Kai in his bed. “Kai…” he breathless pants out and jolts to the bedside. “Kai!” he cries, grabbing Kai’s shoulders and ferociously shakes them. He doesn’t wake up. With his chest heaving laboriously, Sehun screams his name. “Kai! Kai! Wake up!” He clutches onto Kai’s arms and yanks him upright, quaking him.

Then his eyes fly open, all alert at once. Sehun releases Kai’s arm with his breath hitching, but before he could retreat, Kai’s hand comes up to clutch Sehun’s neck and he jolts off the bed, shoving Sehun up against a wall.

“You are so _fucking_ annoying,” Kai spits through his grit teeth as Sehun gapes at him in horror.

“K-Kai…” he claws at Kai’s hand that is choking him. Then waving his hand at the windows, he summons the wind that gusts into the room in a murderous velocity. That is when Kai grabs his wrist and twists it. Sehun lets out a cry, but it is muffled by Kai’s grip around his neck. The pain blinds him for a moment, but he quickly raises his other hand.

Kai releases Sehun’s neck and grabs the bedside lamp. The lamp is slammed into the side of Sehun’s head, sending Sehun tumbling to the ground. His skull feels as though it’s cracked and Sehun’s entire head quakes with terror before his vision blurs and blood begins to ooze down his temple. He stirs on the ground, groaning in a pain, but the sound of his own voice sounds like a faint echo.

“Sehun?!” he hears Kris exclaims before his eyes manages to perceive Kris’ presence. Kris is gaping at Kai and then, his eyes flit to Sehun on the floor. Kai twirls the lamp in his hand and starts toward Kris.

Sehun grunts and that is when Kris acts. When Kai swings the lamp at him, Kris seizes Kai’s forearm and drives his hand into Kai’s chest. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Kris gasps, but when Kai tries to retaliate, Kris clenches his jaw with a brutal scowl and raises his hand a little.

In a split second, he poisons the air in the room and Sehun’s head spins harder. The last thing he sees is Kai collapsing to the floor before he spots a smoky shadow standing behind Kris before Sehun drifts into unconsciousness. 

* * *

 (A/N) I posted a couple of mpreg oneshots. If you guys wanna read it >>> <http://archiveofourown.org/series/538636>

 


	24. Lovable Spurning

His eyes are glued together with languid confusion as the consciousness intensifies and the stupor ebbs, retroceding into nothing.  Though his mind seems relaxed, it is throbbing with a subtle turmoil. The back of his skull is throbbing as though he had banged it against something. Kai realizes his lungs is finally functioning with ease. It feels as though his heart and veins are unclogged. He takes in the damp-smelling air and exhales heavily.

With great effort, Kai pulls his eyes open. He meets the dim-lit room with a grimace before his bleary eyes flit to the hazy figure sitting in a chair at the bedside. The wind is screaming and clouds are bellowing outside. As a storm rages outside, the room is filled with an eerie silence. Kris straightens up and leans forward with his hands clasped together and elbows propped on his knees. Kai shifts and tries to sit up.

That is when it registers to him his wrists are bound to the headboard, over his head. Swallowing, he gapes at his brother. “Please tell me you didn’t do anything incestuous,” Kai rasps and Kris’ eyes widen.

“Shit, what the fuck is up with you?” he shoots up to his feet. Kai blinks at him in a devastated hesitancy before he glances around the room.

“What the hell happened in here?” Kai’s voice comes out as a coarse whisper when he notices the mess in the room.

Kris is scowling at him now. “What the hell happened in here? What, you don’t remember when you tried to kill me and Sehun?”

Kai stares at him with blank slate for a mind. “Huh?”

Kris stares back. The silence stretches for a painful moment before Kris says, “You seriously… don’t remember?”

“Remember what?!” he snaps and yanks at his hands. When his wrists are freed from the bind to the headboard with a single tug, Kris looks at him in annoyance. Kai rips the chain around his wrists off. It’s a bike chain and Kris did a sloppy job with the knots. Hurling the chain away, Kai jolts off the bed and gawks at the bedside lamp and its shattered bulb scattered on the floor. Did he sleep through a chaos? What the heck… “Kris,” he glances to his brother, who is louring at him with a strained look on his face. “What…”

“Kai, you’re fucking kidding me, right?” Kris shoves Kai back by the chest and Kai staggers a couple of steps. “You almost ran the stupid lamp through my skull!”

It takes Kai a moment to comprehend the fact that Kris is not joking. “M-me?” he lets out. Kris continues to stare at him with a sceptical hatred. “Oh, for fuck’s sake! Why would I want to hurt you?! I didn’t! I didn’t do anything! I was… sleeping!”

He was sleeping. Yes. He was sleeping after locking himself up in the room for an entire day, moping over everything that Sehun had told him. Every single mind-boggling thing that he had told him was no match to the fact that Sehun had outwardly rejected Kai after Kai had wholeheartedly confessed his feelings for him.

Why? Because Sehun is in love with someone else and that someone else is himself in some other shitty fate. As unbelievable as everything he said might seem, Kai doesn’t know why he believes Sehun so easily.

“Darn right, you were,” he scoffs. “You seriously don’t remember?”

Kai’s heart begin to thump hard. “What… did you mean… _kill_ you and… _Sehun_?”

“You looked like you were going to murder him, Kai,” Kris says slowly. “And you’re just saying you don’t remember a thing? How the fuck am I supposed to believe that?”

Kai’s jaw falls slacking as blood pounds in his ears. “Is Sehun hurt?!” he gasps breathlessly. “I… I didn’t… Kris, I swear, I don’t remember anything!”

Kris does not seem like he believes Kai. Kai notices the clenched fists at Kris’ sides. His heart pounds as hard and brutal as the thunder that splits the sky in halves in the storm.

“Kris… Did I… hurt him?”

* * *

 

 

 

 

The locked windows clatter to the force of the wind as the raindrops pitter-patters on the glass of the windows, ricocheting like bullets. Sehun tiredly blinks his drowsy eyes and closes them, tilting his head back to rest it on the headboard as Shixun removes the icepack from his wrist and starts wrapping the bandage around it.

“You all right?” Shixun asks, gently bandaging the wrist. His voice is muffled by the furious storm outside. The storm is not Sehun’s doing. Sehun could not bring himself to respond. He had only come back to his senses a moment ago and his mind is in a complete muddle. “You’re bruising,” Shixun says and Sehun’s eyes flutter open. He lowers his head and fixes his brother a stoic look. His hand rests on Shixun’s lap as his sprained wrist is swaddled. Shixun jerks his chin towards the side of Sehun’s throbbing head, which was slammed by Kai with the lamp. No, no, it wasn’t Kai.

Sehun had looked into Kai’s eyes that instant. He had seen nothing but a murderous intention in those dark pools. It wasn’t Kai. And it had not been a hallucination when he saw Kai in the hallway that night at FLAC. Kai had fainted once due to fatigue and he constantly looks tired nowadays, although he eventually recovers.

_Their soulless, original bodies will be alive for some time, but a soulless existence can only live on this side of the world for long before it decays… Feeds on the souls he steals._

“Here,” Shixun averts his attention, pressing the icepack in Sehun’s uninjured hand. Sehun brings the icepack to the side of face and sighs laboriously at the soothing, cold sensation. Shixun rises from the edge of the bed with the first aid kit when the door creaks open.

Kris walks into the room with his lips pursed and settles his gaze on Sehun without paying Shixun any heed. He is flipping his phone in his hand. “I tried to call Mom and Dad, but they didn’t answer. I called Mark, he said he’ll be here as soon as he can. Faiion… is out of reach as well.” His eyes subtly flick to Shixun for a beat. “Is your wrist okay?” he inquires Sehun.

“I’ll live,” Sehun mumbles. “Is—” he cuts himself off when Kai steps in. He pauses at the doorway and stares at Sehun with a set of eyes filled to the brim with guilt and concern. Shixun and Kris’ gaze follow Sehun’s.

“What is he doing here?” Shixun hisses, glowering furiously.

“Kai, maybe you shouldn’t—” Kris starts, but Sehun stops him.

“It’s okay,” he tells Kris, although he keeps his eyes on Kai, who looks miserably guilt-ridden and contrite. “It wasn’t his fault.”

As Kai’s eyebrows arch, Kris and Shixun gape at Sehun. “What do you mean it’s not his fault?” Shixun snarls. “Who the fuck hits someone like that because of an argument?!”

“He doesn’t recall shit either,” Kris mutters, rubbing the back of his neck.

“There was no argument,” Sehun says calmly and sighs. “Can you guys… leave us for a moment?”

“Are you nuts?” Shixun gasps.

“Please, Shixun.”

Then, letting out an exasperated hiss, Shixun storms out of the room, deliberately bumping his shoulder against Kai on his way out. Kris pins Sehun a concerned gaze before he leaves them.

“I’m sorry,” Kai blurts out and Sehun pauses him with a wave of his hand, shaking his hanging head.

“I think you and I both know it wasn’t you.”

He raises his head to see Kai staring at his bandaged wrist before his eyes dart to the bruised side of Sehun’s face. Then he drags his feet to the bed before he heavily drops to sit on it. He slouches forward, keeping his head and gaze low, as though he does not dare to even look up at Sehun.

“What did I do?” Kai mutters under his breath.

“Kai… I saw you,” Sehun says.

“What?” He faces Sehun with a ballooned eyes.

“It’s not the first time. I don’t know how or why, but I saw you. While you were sleeping, you’re also roaming somewhere else.”

Kai only gawks at him.

“It has happened before.”

“What do you mean you… saw me?”

“Like just… in the hallway back at FLAC. And tonight, downstairs. You’re just… walking around and I think you don’t know where you are…”

“You didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t even know if what I saw was real. It happened again tonight and I knew I wasn’t just seeing things. I woke you up, but it wasn’t you, was it?”

Kai falls silent with his eyebrows furrowed into a worried frown.

“Think about it, Kai. You fainted that day. And you said you don’t have any nightmares because you’re not exactly sleeping. You don’t have dreams… You’re tired a lot, aren’t you? Do you remember what we read in the logbook? That the bodies without souls… decay? But you have the healing Flair, which means…” Sehun trails off, positive that Kai understands where this is going.

Kai has his eyes and hands clenched as he strives to breathe. Sehun raises a hesitant hand to Kai’s back. “You’re telling me… Arthur’s projecting my soul out of my body? And I’m just roaming around until I find my way back? When my body is unoccupied… it’s rotting, but I heal, so it’s sort of like a repetitive cycle?”

Sehun’s hand reflexively clutch Kai’s shirt at the back. “It is Arthur,” he says in a low voice. “It was him. He’s… taking your body when you’re asleep.”

Kai drops his face in his hands and Sehun wants to comfort him, but he doesn’t know how to. Sehun’s own body is shivering in fear. It finally hits Sehun, after what happened tonight, that he does not have the strength to deal with this alone.

“When did you see me walking around at FLAC?” Kai inquires, bringing his head up.

“The night we came back after the birthday party.”

“The night when Gwenna went missing?”

Sehun blinks at him. “Y-yes.”

Kai’s lips part as he wordlessly stares at Sehun’s. Then he breathes out, “You don’t think I…”

“God, no! Kai, you possibly couldn’t have…” he stops himself, retrieving his hand from Kai’s back.

Kai jolts up to his feet. “Look at what I did to you! Oh, my God,” he clasps his hand to his mouth and starts panting heavily. “You’re right. I don’t even have dreams, it’s like I just switch my brain off as soon as I’ve fallen asleep! Urgh!” he growls, stomping at the bedside table, which knocked down to floor. Sehun stands up and pins his hands to Kai’s heaving chest to stop him. He bites back on a hiss when his wrist stings.

“Kai, stop,” Sehun urges him.

“Arthur Prescott!” Kai yells with a clenched jaw and kicks the sideboard as Sehun tries to hold him back. “What the fuck do you want from me?!”

“Kai!” Sehun grabs Kai’s shirt collar. “That’s enough!”

“He’s going to make me hurt everyone I care about, Sehun!” he cries. “Why?! Why would he hurt _you_?! You’re his grandson! Why would he hurt his own _daughter_?!”

_“Because none of you deserve to live in a world which I will rule.”_

The whispery voice echoes in the room, raising the fine hairs on the nape of Sehun’s neck. Startled, Sehun spins around and Kai protectively snakes his arms around Sehun’s body. They stand there in a frozen position with Sehun’s heart clamouring in his chest.

 _“You still haven’t figured it out? Why my own children locked me up in a tombstone?”_ A deep and throaty laughter follows. _“Oh, I will have my revenge. Now, that little Gwen is out of the picture, no one can get into my mind and stop me. I can’t rip your soul from your body, Sehun. But I won’t need to. Soon, you will be left all alone that you’d want nothing more, but to die. Once I’ve regained my full power, I won’t be scavenging for his body.”_

When the windows shatter into smithereens in a trice without a warning, Sehun and Kai lower to a crouch with Kai’s arms still wrapped around him. Sehun sucks in a gasp as the ground rumbles beneath them. Kai grabs hold of Sehun’s hand and hauls him out of the room as the every furniture in the room begins to tumble with the portraits drop from the shaking walls.

The house quakes as though it is about to crumble to the ground. Sehun slams into the wall, losing his footing for a moment, but Kai pulls him back in the right track as they race for the staircase.

“Kai!” Kris cries from the bottom of the stairs with Shixun by his side.

“Get out! Get out of the house!” Kai bellows at him as they hurry down the stairs that are rocking beneath their feet. Glasses smash to pieces, woods bust into splinters and everything in the house explodes around them while Kris and Shixun run for the front door.

With an abrupt jerk, Sehun falls forward, knocking against Kai’s back and they plunge down the stairs, rolling the rest of the way down. Kai’s arms that are enveloping Sehun’s body prevent Sehun’s back from ramming into the sharp edges of the steps, but Kai’s receives every bit of the blow until they drop to the bottom with Sehun on top of Kai.

Groaning for a brief moment, Kai rubs the back of his head, which is slammed on the floor. Sehun scurries to his feet and helps Kai up to his. “Where are you going?!” he screams at Kai, who runs in the other way as the ceiling above them starts to collapse.

Kai grabs the car keys from the floor before he dashes back to Sehun and they storm out of the house, catching up with Kris and Shixun.

“Get in the car!” he yawps at them, clicking the car unlock.

“What is happening?!” Shixun cries, yanking his hand free from Kris’ grip as they run towards the car. Kai jumps into the driver’s seat and when everyone is in the car, he ignites the engine, shifts the gear and pulls the car out of the driveway.

They are all out of breath, Shixun and Kris are panting in the backseat as Sehun gapes at the flickering lights of the house before the house vanishes from his sight. He glances to Kai, eyes filled with horrid panic.

Kai pins him with a sidelong glance and says, “Put your seatbelt on. I’m still a young driver. Actually, I’m a young everything to you, right?”

Sehun scowls at him, but he is too exhausted and terrified to entertain the humour.

“Where are we going?” Kris demands breathlessly. “Kai, what the fuck just happened?!”

“Call Mom.”

Kris does as he’s told. But he groans, clenching his phone. “They’re not picking up!”

Sehun notices the worry that crosses Kai’s expression.

“What about Allis?”

Kris tries for it, too. This time, Kris’ face wilts with concern. “She’s… not answering either. I can try for Donghae or Yixing.”

“Can someone tell me what’s going on?!” Shixun yelps.

“Kai, where are you going?” Sehun asks calmly. It seems pointless. It isn’t like Arthur won’t find them wherever they go.

“Back to FLAC. Kris, call Mark and tell him to meet us there. We’re going to need that logbook.”

“Okay, but what—”

Kai cuts Kris off. “We’re being hunted down, okay, Kris?”

“What? By whom?!”

“By Sehun and Shixun’s grandfather.”

A silence, which Sehun is grateful for, follows.

“Look, I’ll tell you everything later,” Kai sighs. “For some odd reason, he wants us dead.”

After a moment, Kris yaps at someone on the phone. “Hey, are your parents at home? Oh… okay, Jungkook. Thanks.” He hangs up and leans his head back on the seat, eyes clenched tight. “You owe us a big ass explanation.”

Kai keeps his eyes on the road, but Sehun keeps his on him. The rain-kissed road is abandoned like the night is. Shixun and Kris are sitting with a huge gap between them at the back.

Gulping down the lump in his throat, Sehun extends his hand to Kai’s that is resting on the gear stick. Kai shudders and glances to Sehun’s hand, which is curled around his own. Then, his eyes flit up to Sehun. They hold each other’s gazes for a very brief instance before Kai pulls his hand away from Sehun’s and returns his attention to the road.

Sehun looks out the window with a silent pang sent to his heart.


	25. Shindig of Two

All of their faces, except Sehun’s, are strained with a disoriented puzzlement when Kai is done elaborating on what is going on. Mostly. He’s sure he missed some things out, but the important strands are pretty much out there, and he isn’t getting any positive reaction.

They idle around in the cold night, leaned against the cars outside the castle of FLAC. Mark finally breaks the silent with a grating exhalation, uncomfortably rubbing the thick stubble that is lining his jaw.

“You guys are sure it’s Grace and Gwenna’s father,” Mark says.

Sehun nods before Kai can.

Mark pulls away from the car’s hood with his arms folded across his chest. “Why is he possessing your body, then?” he asks Kai.

Kai shrugs. “Because we share some sort of a weird connection.”

Mark blinks at that and his gaze momentarily flits to Sehun before it resettles back on Kai. “And why is Sehun the only one who had seen you… when you’re… not in your body?”

Kai hangs his head for a second and when he looks up, he looks painfully smug. “Uh… Because we share some sort of a weird connection?” he puts it in a factual question this time and looks to Sehun, who pins him with an exhausted glare. “Look, I don’t know why. But what I _do_ know is that we’re wasting time, just standing here and talking. It’s not gonna help us, Mark.”

Mark nods considerately. “All right. What should we do now, then? I went to the hospital. Hospitals. No sign of Faiion or Grace, they weren’t even checked in. And Mom and Dad are…” he stops himself with a frown. “You don’t think something happened to them, do you?”

Kai heaves a sigh. Of course, he thinks something happened to them. Especially now that none of them knows where they are and Arthur just destroyed his house. However, he doesn’t exactly know how to deal with it. He doesn’t really know how to deal with any of these. Seriously, how is he supposed to fight against a freaking soul, which can possess him when he’s asleep and he has no idea where his or Sehun’s parents could be or Arthur had even done something to them?

“They’re missing, then,” Shixun speaks for the first time in over an hour. He is standing nowhere near Kris, who is perched on the hood of the Mark’s car. “We have to tell someone. We have to find them.”

“I can go to the Ministry tomorrow morning,” Mark says. “Of course, there’s no guarantee they’ll send help. It sounds like a hogwash and mostly a family affair. We don’t have any evidences.”

“No,” Kai interrupts. “If Arthur is the one who has… done something to them, which we don’t know for sure, I don’t think he’s going to like having a lot of attention on him. Or that could exactly be what he wants. Either way, we’ll be provoking him, which isn’t the smartest thing to do if… if he has some sort of clutch on our parents.”

“What’s the plan, then?” Kris asks.

Kai sucks in a deep breath. “First, we’re gonna get the logbook. For some odd reason, Arthur was preening on the finality that Gwenna isn’t around anymore. Which means, he’s glad she’s gone. He said Grace and Gwenna locked him up in the tombstone.”

“Which you opened,” Kris adds in.

“Yes, Kris,” Kai groans. “I’m well-aware of the fact that I fucked up.”

Kris raises his hands in defence. “Calm down. I’m not biting your ass. But I think it’s pretty clear that this Arthur bastard did something to Gwenna… his own daughter. Because you opened the tombstone.”

Kai lets out a sigh. “Back to the point. If he’s the reason Gwenna’s… dead, he did it for a reason.”

“He wanted her out of the picture,” Sehun mutters as if to himself and then, glances to everyone.

Kai bows his head. “Yeah. Why? Gwenna is telepathic, among a lot of other things. She could see him coming. I know she’s a Recherché, but there has to be some other Flairer with some of her sub-Flairs. Arthur’s confident. Very confident. We need to know where his mind is.”

“You think we might find someone like that in the logbook?” Mark inquires.

“If we’re lucky.”

Mark rubs his temples. “We should at least try to contact Allis.”

“I already did,” Kris says. “No luck. Only Jungkook and Xi are home.”

“We’ll drive up there, then. Meet up with Yixing and Donghae. I’ll call them.”

They agree on it.

“Great,” Kai says humourlessly and buttons up his flannel shirt over his black t-shirt. “I’ll meet you guys back here in a while.”

Only when he is about to climb over the wall does he realize he has a company tagging along. He turns around and blinks at Sehun with an arched eyebrow.

“What are you doing?”

Sehun looks at him with confusion. “I’m…”

“You don’t have to come along. I can fetch it and—”

“I need some clothes,” Sehun cuts him off. “A-and… my toothbrush.”

“Oh.” He shrugs little as they climb up the wall, which Sehun does with great effort due to his injured wrist and all. Kai feels a sting of guilt in his chest and he has been trying all night to turn blind eye to the bruised side of Sehun’s face.

When they have landed on the other side of the wall, Kai says, “You really care about your teeth at a moment like this?”

Sehun gently scowls at him, rubbing his bandaged wrist. “You really care about masking your emotions at a moment like this?”

Kai pauses to stare at him. Then, he tiredly sighs, raising a hand to Sehun’s face, but he drops it back to his side before his fingers even brushed discolouration on his cheekbone and temple. He doesn’t know why, but touching Sehun suddenly feels like an unacceptable act. “You… have no idea… how sorry I am—”

“No, don’t,” Sehun blurts out. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yeah… but… I did sort of—”

“Kai, it’s okay. I think we both got pretty hurt tonight and honestly, we don’t have time for this.”

Kai does agree with that. So they head for the stairs. As they hurry up to their room, Sehun grinds to a stop and grabs Kai’s arm. “What?” Kai asks.

“Chanyeol,” Sehun says.

Kai rolls his eyes. “I’m not sure I want to hear his name every time I’m with you.”

Sehun’s jaw falls slacking, but he purses his lips shut for a moment. “No, no. Chanyeol is telepathic.”

Kai’s eyes widen. Of course, why hadn’t he thought of that? “Do you think he’ll help?”

Sehun hesitates to respond. “He might.”

“Okay, then go get him.” He starts to leap up the steps, but Sehun holds him back again.

“No, Kai. I’m not sure I want to drag him into this.”

It takes Kai a moment to understand that Sehun doesn’t want Chanyeol to get hurt. So he nods. “Okay.”

When they burst into their own room, Kai hurries to grab the logbook as Sehun starts rummaging through his wardrobe. Kai takes a breath and flumps on Sehun’s bed while he waits for Sehun to pack up.

“Hey, do you have a spare backpack or something?”

“Yeah. Bottom. Wardrobe.”

Sehun yanks Kai’s wardrobe open and crouches down. “Are you not going to get anything?” Sehun asks, stuffing a couple of shirts into the backpack he fished out from the bottom of the wardrobe.

Kai shakes his head, keeping his eyes low. He flips the logbook open. He certainly can’t go through all the pages by himself, hell he can’t keep his focus up for more than fifteen minutes in class.

“It’ll be great if there’s someone who just knows… people who might be able to help us,” Kai mumbles to himself.

“Like someone from the Ministry?”

“You think they’re gonna help us? They will try their best to bury this thing from reaching the Pootles, they won’t _help_ us.”

Sehun rises to his feet and zips the backpack up. “Someone who… preferably knows about Arthur.”

“Allis is sort of our last resort and if she’s out of reach, too… I…” he raises his head and stares at Sehun. “Wait a second,” he jolts up to his feet.

“What?”

“My grandmother… She’d probably know some people, won’t she?”

Sehun blinks. “Will she?”

“I mean, she tells me stories and stuff. Gossips as well. Fuck, yeah, that’s it. Arthur won’t be going after her. She’s not a Recherché.”

“Uh… okay.” Sehun turns around to close the wardrobes, but he pauses when the small trunk tumbles out, spilling its content. Kai’s heart immediately sinks to his stomach and he doesn’t move fast enough. Sehun is gaping at the once trashed gifts that he had given Kai. All locked away with uncertainty. Sehun doesn’t move either. He just brings his head up and blankly stares at Kai.

Then after a moment, Sehun kneels to the floor and picks the things up. This is unbelievably embarrassing. Sehun is holding the candy wrappers that Kai had stashed away, only because those wrappers had the privilege of being tossed away by Sehun. Because they are the reminders of the day when Kai intently watched Sehun suck on the hard candy as he grinned and laughed with Chanyeol.

Now he regrets ever keeping them like a lovelorn schoolgirl.

There is hurt in Sehun’s eyes when he glances up at Kai again after replacing the trunk in the wardrobe. He pulls himself to his feet, meeting Kai’s pathetic gaze.

“I guess I’m just an idiot after all, huh,” Kai mutters, dropping his gaze. “You wanna laugh, don’t you?” he scoffs at himself. How much more pathetic can he get? He is both the man Sehun loves and hates. Sehun has done a pretty darn good job in convincing that he is in love with a completely different person… who is also himself. Fuck. God. “Let’s just go,” he sighs and starts strutting past Sehun.

“Wait,” Sehun stops him with a hand on Kai’s chest. With the bandaged wrist. Kai stops, of course. He always stops for Sehun. Just as how he always hurts for Sehun. God, it’s a good thing Sehun rejected him. Otherwise, Kai will be the kind of boyfriend that will literally do everything that Sehun tells him to do with no questions asked. It really is a good thing that he isn’t Sehun’s boyfriend, because he fucking knows he will die out of heartache if Sehun left him one day. “You could have not told me, Kai?” he asks in a low whisper, hand pressing into Kai’s chest. The deadpan expression is a dead giveaway that Sehun is guilt-ridden. But Kai doesn’t know why. It isn’t Sehun’s fault that Kai loves him like stupidly crazy. It isn’t Sehun’s fault that of all the people, Kai chose this boy, who comes with thousands of extra baggage, to fall in love with.

“How, Sehun?” Kai’s voice expresses his pain all too well. “How could I? _Why_ would I? Wasn’t I right, though? You don’t want me… You never will,” he, then, scoffs. It is funny. “You don’t even want me when you’re in love with me. Not _me_ … but you get it. It’s really fan-fucking-tastic, don’t you think? Hilarious. I can’t even compete for your feelings fair-and-square. You’re already in love with someone I… can even punch through the face.”

Sehun’s nails are biting through Kai’s sternum now. “What do you want?” he breathes out. The earnest and yearning gloss in his eyes suggests that he is genuinely _asking_ Kai what he wants.

“I don’t want to be friends with you. I don’t want you to pity me. I really don’t want anything between us if there can never actually be something between us… even after fifty years.”

“I asked what you _want_ , Kai,” Sehun repeats. It feels like with every syllable, they are inching closer. Their mouths are inching closer.

Kai clenches his eyes for a beat, sucking in a shaky breath. When he opens his eyes again, he looks into Sehun’s with unfaltering conviction. “I want you to like me for who _I_ am.”

“And?” Sehun swallows. His eyes are slightly red, either from sleeplessness or… Kai doesn’t even know how to put it. He doesn’t want Sehun to do anything out of pity for him. Not even offer a silver of comfort. That’s the last thing he wants from Sehun.

“I want you to treat me as a man. I…” he slides a hand into Sehun’s hair, gently brushing the bruised cheek and holds the side of his head. “Want you. I want you, Sehun.” There is a finality to his tone. Sehun has his eyes closed and he is leaning into Kai’s touch.

“Say it again,” he exhales breathlessly.

It takes all of Kai’s willpower to hold himself back. He leans forward and presses his lips on Sehun’s forehead. He expects Sehun to shudder or pull away, but all the Sehun does is curl a hand around the back of Kai’s neck. “I want you,” Kai whispers, lips brushing against Sehun’s forehead.

“Kai…” Sehun whimpers out with tears glimmering on the corners of his clenched eyes as his hand tightly grips onto Kai’s hair by the nape.

Then Kai realizes what’s going on. He springs back, pulling himself completely away from Sehun with his heart shattering to pieces. Sehun’s watery eyes fly open and there is a pang of guilt struck across his face. They both stiffen and gawk at each other, both just coming to the realization.

Sehun opens his mouth to say something, but Kai halts him. “I’m not him,” was all that Kai could bring himself to say with the sob choking his throat and blurring his vision.

“Kai, I’m so sorry,” Sehun rasps, chasing after Kai as the latter storms out of the room with furious haste. “Please, just listen—”

“No, Sehun,” Kai says with pure exhaustion as he hurtles down the stairs. “This shit is spiralling out of control and I honestly have enough on my plate. Your grandfather is fucking haunting me. Our parents are missing. Who knows if they’re even alive right now...” The words leave a bitter taste in his mouth and his stomach churns. “I don’t even know if I want to sleep anymore. I really don’t need this right now.”

“Will you just listen?!” Sehun hisses, grabbing Kai’s elbow when they reach the ground. Kai faces him.

“What? You’re gonna apologize for what you did? I’m not sure apologies actually fix every little mistake that you make. Just out of curiosity, not that it’s ever going to happen, but if we slept together, would you be thinking about him? Oh, wait, when we kissed, did you think about _him_? Did it feel like you were kissing him?! Is that why you kissed me in the first place?! Do you know how cheap and low that is, even for you, Asherton?!”

“Jesus Christ! You’re just as stubborn and thrice as mouthy!” Sehun groans and Kai grimaces at him in shock. “You will literally be able to talk the hind legs off a donkey, but you can’t hear me out for one second?!”

“Fuck you, Asherton,” he spits and wends his way to the wall. “Stop fucking comparing me to him.”

“I…” Sehun trails off and falls silent behind him.

When they join the others again, Kai hands Mark the logbook. “Here. Mark, we have to go grandma’s.”

“What?” Mark blinks. “Why?”

“I think she might be able to answer some of our questions.”

Mark agrees with a nod again. “Okay. You’re driving?”

“Yeah. Did you call Donghae and Yixing?”

“Yes. I can ask them to meet us there.”

“Okay. Oh, and Mark, do you think we can find a Locator Flairer? They could help us find our parents.”

“The only Locators I know work with the Snatchers. Maybe I can talk to Amber or her father in the morning. Again, they might not help.”

“It really sounds like we’re on our own,” Shixun sighs heavily.

Kai doesn’t spare Sehun a single look. Kris climbs into the front seat. Shixun decides to ride with Mark and Kai hopes to hell that Sehun would to, but unfortunately, Sehun climbs into the backseat.

Oh, he is mad, all right. He is so mad that he’s the one getting the shit from day one and Sehun always has the upper hand only because he can hurt Kai with the snap of his fingers.

When they are back on the road, Kai dares himself to glance at the rear-view mirror through which he sees Sehun’s deep frown. It hits him out of nowhere, then. He never actually thought about how hurt Sehun might be. He did, after all, throw everything away for the happiness of others. He threw his life away. He sacrificed way more than Kai and the others ever will.

He is being unfair. He wonders how lonely Sehun must have felt all this while. Kai grips the steering wheel hard. Not fair. Not fair at all. Why does Sehun always have to squeeze and glide his way into Kai’s heart every time Kai tries to throw him out? Not _fucking_ fair.

 _No, don’t do this to yourself_ , he thinks to himself. Everything just falls on him all at once, it is unbearable. But Kai actually prefers facing Arthur than to ever face Sehun again. But he knows he will face Sehun again. He knows he will pathetically crawl back to Sehun and beg him. And he knows he will be left broken-hearted in the end. But that can all wait until they are done with this Arthur bloody Prescott.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, heads up. There could be some smut in the following chapter(s) ;)


	26. Twists and Turns

This is far from what Sehun had expected, because he certainly had not bargained for a cloistered homestead in a completely isolated countryside. The small house is old, bricks unforgivingly grey under the moonlight, albeit everything about it and its surrounding is beautiful. Even the air here feels like home. Home seems like a distant object now. Sehun does not even know where his home is anymore.

The homestead is old, but it looks like it belongs in a children’s storybook. For as far as Sehun’s senses could stretch, he sees nothing but beautiful strands of nature and hears nothing but the calmness of the wind blended with the chime of crickets. He knows all of this will be painted on a more vivacious canvas in daylight. He now perceives why Kai must like to come here. There is a barn within a stone’s throw of the homestead. 

He silently follows the rest to the door. Kai and Mark are discussing something under their breaths, and although Kris is also included in the discussion, he isn’t participating. Shixun just looks tired and more confused than Sehun is. None of them had gotten any sleep and all that Sehun wants right now is a bed. He doesn’t even know which parts of his body are sore and throbbing, besides his face and wrist, anymore. They need to look for their parents, but none of them actually knows where to start. It seems like Kai is quite confident about coming here, though.

When Mark knocks on the door, it takes a moment for a well-aged woman to answer the door. She looks fully awake and fresh, unlike what Sehun would have anticipated. It is only then he realizes the sun is about to come up. The first light of the day is upon them.

“Mark?” the old woman, whom Sehun deduces to be their grandmother, gasps. “Kai, Kris. What in the world are you doing here?”

“Hey, Nana,” Kai is the first to launch forward for a hug. His grandmother is taken aback, but she does not refuse him the embrace. Kai does not let go for a moment as he presses his face in her shoulder, looking like he might just pass out. Or cry. Something tugs in Sehun’s stomach out of guilt.

“Come on in, dearies,” she ushers everyone into her very country-styled home. Every corner, every brick resonates her warmth and offers comfort. If only Sehun isn’t too terrified, he might have just crashed the ground and fallen asleep. Even the ground looks comfortable. Durham quilts on the sofa looks incredibly comfy. The house smells like bread and something else that spikes Sehun’s hunger. “I would say this is a pleasant surprise if you don’t look like you have seen ghosts.” Her eyes momentarily flits to Sehun and then to Shixun. “And you’ve brought Grevan’s grandkids over. Sit.”

Mark excuses himself to attend a phone call as the rest take their seats at the wooden dining table. Kai tiredly flops his head on the table and wraps his arms over it while his grandmother hastily rummages through the cupboards.

“Which one is your lover?” she asks, glancing to Kris as she boils some water in the kettle.

Kris straightens up uneasily and Shixun simply keeps his gaze on the flowers on the table. “Nana,” Kris mumbles in protest, gritting his teeth.

“I haven’t seen any of you in a year,” she sighs. It is very obvious to see that she is trying to soften the atmosphere and get them to loosen up. But Sehun can also see the curiosity and concern dancing in her eyes as she frantically makes them something that smells like coffee. “Is it this one? Shixun, is it?” she faces Sehun with a wry smile and Sehun helplessly looks to Kris. Shixun scowls. It is clear to see she does not know the twins that well. She probably knows Shixun because her grandson is or was dating him.

“No, Nana,” Kris sighs. “And that is not… We’re not… Kai,” he yaps, kicking Kai’s leg under the table and Kai’s head shoots up. His eyes are red and filled with fatigue. “We’re in a pickle, Nana.”

Scrubbing his face, Kai lets out a heavy breath. “We need your help, Nana,” Kai says carefully.

His grandmother blinks. Then, lifting a finger, she hurries to pour the hot water into the mugs in portions. Mark joins them with an exhaustive greyness to his complexion. “What happened to your wrist?” he inquires Sehun as he perches on the empty chair beside Sehun. It actually feels like they are all gathered for a casual dinner.

“Kai broke it,” Kris mutters without any enthusiasm.

“I did not break…” Kai starts, but trails off with a huff. “Nana, do you know anything about Arthur Prescott?” he asks blatantly. His grandmother freezes with a tray of mugs in her hands as she turns to face them. Kai takes it from her and settles it on the table.

“Wh-what is this about?” the old woman says with hesitancy as she flumps on one of the chairs. “How do you know of him?” her eyes are quivering with tremor.

“Do you know him, Nana? If you do, we need you to tell us what you know about him,” Mark says.

Shixun helps himself to the coffee because he looks like he terribly needs some.

“I don’t really know much about that wretched bastard,” she mutters, taking Kai’s hand in her wrinkled, trembling ones.

“But you know something, don’t you? I need you to tell us,” Kai explains calmly.

“What do you mean? Has something happened?!”

“No, no,” Kai lies. “We just want to know.”

His grandmother nods her head. “Dillan was friends with his children. I’ve only heard that he tried to lock one of them up. He… he is not like the others. Flairers, I mean. People said he had his own purpose and he cared very little for his family.” She gazes to Sehun and Shixun briefly, and hesitates.

“It’s okay, Nana. They’re family, too,” Mark reassures her and Sehun notices the pang of pain in both Kai and Kris’ expressions.

“He wasn’t always like that. It was just that he became like it all out of a sudden. Word had it back then that their mother and her sister weren’t really born to… him.”

Sehun isn’t sure if it were the fatigue or the ignorance, but he could not react the way he probably should have. Shixun looks more surprised than he is.

“What?” Kai lets out. “Was it… true?”

His grandmother shakes her head. “I don’t know, of course. The Prescott family was very secluded. They kept everything to themselves. Dillan once told me that the girl’s father was furious when she eloped with that Grevan’s kid.”

This is news to Sehun. Grace had eloped with Faiion?

“Grace?” Kai asks.

“Was that her name? I’m not sure. They were really young. Your mother and father,” she tells Sehun. “It was then when… Arthur tried to lock your mother up. He couldn’t use his Flair because she was able to use it against him. I don’t know what really happened, but one day, Arthur just died. I only heard he tortured his wife until she died.”

“Tortured how?” Sehun asks.

“I don’t know, but I believe it was inhumane. He even looked like a monster.”

Something unsettles Sehun’s stomach. He glances to Kai, who is draining the second mug of coffee, which is supposed to be Sehun’s. “So, he’s a psychopath,” Kai sighs. “Figured as much. Did you go to his funeral?”

“No. I distinctly remember when the news reached me I was with your mother as she gave birth to you.”

Kai looks disgruntled for a moment. Then he asks, “Nana, have you ever come across a Flairer, who’s not exactly a Recherché, but is just as powerful as one?”

“Of course. Plenty. Why?”

“Do you know anyone with telepathic Flairs?”

His grandmother contemplates it for a moment. “There is their mother’s twin sister, right?”

“Apart from her.”

“No,” she says. “What she had was a truly a gift.”

“You should rest,” Mark says and rises to his feet. The sky is bluing outside.

“Oh, yes, you should,” the woman says and stands. “I don’t have enough rooms for all of you.”

“I can sleep on the couch,” Kris offers and does not wait for a response as he retreats to one of the sofas. Kai snatches the mug from Shixun’s hand and drains what’s left in there as he walks around the table.

“Someone should keep an eye on him,” Shixun mutters when Kai has vanished down the hallway.

“What? We can’t keep him from sleeping forever,” Sehun retorts.

“I honestly think we can’t risk it right now,” Mark says. “I have to go meet up with Donghae and Yixing. So it has to be one of you,” he glances to Kris who is already snoring on the couch. “I called Amber. She said she has a Locator, so we’re gonna have to go to Gawlreng in the morning. We’ll rally at Gawlreng later, okay? Tell Kris and Kai. Nana,” he turns to his grandmother, who is draping a quilt over Kris. “I have to go,” he walks over to her and pecks on her cheek.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Work.” He flashes a smile before he hurries out of the house. Sehun glances to Shixun.

“Nope,” is all that Shixun says. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Sehun gets up with his backpack and bids Kai’s grandmother goodnight.

“Will you be all right?” the oblivious woman asks with the kindest intentions.

“I’ll be fine, thank you,” he says with a smile, which is returned shortly. As the old woman turns to entertain Shixun with a platter of homemade biscuits, Sehun follows Kai’s footsteps in the hallway and finds himself in the room in the far end.

It isn’t a bedroom. There is furniture, but no chairs and there is Kai, sitting on the floor with his arms hugging his knees as he aimlessly stares at the floor. Sehun looks for the switch and switches it on, but is disappointed at the result. Only a dim lightbulb lights up in the room, providing scarcely any brightness.

He closes the door.

“Are you okay?” he asks in a low voice. He knows Kai wants to sleep. He knows _he_ wants to sleep. They both need to sleep. They are both tired and Kai has never looked this exhausted.

“Coming here wasn’t exactly helpful,” Kai murmurs, still keeping his head hung low.

Sehun kneels before him. “Well, we needed a place to rest.” He unzips the backpack and pulls the logbook out. “Maybe we can find something in here.”

“I’m sorry,” Kai blurts out.

“What?”

When Kai looks up, his eyes are sheening with remorse. “I shouldn’t have said those things. It was uncalled for.”

“Oh.” He means what he said at FLAC. “It’s okay,” Sehun whispers. “You didn’t say anything that isn’t true.”

“No, I should have tried to understand your situation.”

“But, you did.”

They pause for a moment to swallow each other’s gazes.

Sehun settles on the floor beside Kai and flips the logbook open. “Mark told us to meet him at Gawlreng later,” he says without lifting his eyes to see Kai’s reaction.

“Why?”

“Amber apparently has a Locator.”

Kai falls silent. Then after a moment, he says, “This seems pointless. What are we going to do? We have absolutely no help.”

Sehun does not know how to offer his solace. Whatever he does always ends in some sort of dispute between them and he knows he hurts Kai. “We have each other, Kai,” he says quietly. “We’re Recherchés. There’s no one more powerful than all of us combined. And worse comes to worst… I can do something about it.”

“What do you mean?” he arches an eyebrow tiredly. Sehun drops his gaze to the tattered pages.

“I can alter destinies, remember?” he smiles lifelessly and Kai stares at him in horror.

“Whose destiny are you planning to alter now?” he demands and there is obvious anger in his tone.

“It’s just an option.”

“No, it isn’t,” Kai spits, hand involuntarily gripping Sehun’s bandaged wrist. He releases it immediately when Sehun hisses in pain. “Sorry.”

“Kai, I can’t afford to be selfish. If it’s the best decision—”

“Making yourself miserable again and again is not the best decision, Sehun,” he growls, fist clutching Sehun’s shirt by the chest in a bunch. “I don’t care what sort of a saint you are, but I’m going to fight that bastard even if I have to die. You are not going to alter anyone’s destiny, you hear me?!”

Sehun isn’t sure what he is more shocked about. The fact that Kai cares for him this much or the fact that the Kai he loves had been supportive of his decision to alter Grace’s destiny in the previous fate. This Kai is stubborn and headstrong. More than the other, Sehun daresay. “You… didn’t try to stop me when I did it before…”

It takes Kai a moment to understand what Sehun means. When he does, his loosens his grip on Sehun’s shirt, but his hand is still pressed to Sehun’s chest. Shit, because Kai could probably feel how fast Sehun’s heart is racing right now with their faces so close together that Sehun could feel Kai’s furious breaths on his lips. “Well,” Kai exhales, lowering his eyes to look at Sehun’s trembling lips. “Sorry for tragically disappointing you.” He releases Sehun’s shirt and throws his head against the wall. “Are you really… that… miserable in this life?”

“I never said that, Kai,” Sehun says gently.

Kai heaves a sigh. “You should get some sleep.”

“It’s okay.”

“Sehun, sleep. It’s fine. You don’t have to babysit me. I’m not gonna fall asleep.”

“I actually have to wash up.”

“The lavatory’s outside.”

Sehun stands up, slinging the backpack over his shoulder.

“Do you like me even a little, Sehun?” Kai’s question halts Sehun in his tracks. He glances back to Kai, who has his eyes staring the opposite wall down. “No, don’t tell me.”

Sehun doesn’t. He storms out of the room. He can’t tell Kai that he likes him because he knows Kai will never believe him now.

 

* * *

 

It’s odd. Sehun had been so sure that he does not feel any sort of affection for Kai. But from the moment he saw all the little things that Kai had stashed away—all the things Sehun had given him, which he had tossed into the trash—something shifted in his heart. When he heard Kai confess so beautifully with so much pain… when he heard Kai say that he wanted him… Sehun had just succumbed. The innocence, the chastity between them… That moment, everything they feel for each other had amplified.

When he exits the lavatory after freshening up and changing into new clothes, he is met with the glorious, cerulean sky of dawn. He draws in the frisk scent of the country air. His jaw falls slacking when he spots Kai leaning against the barn door with his arms crossed over his chest. He is glaring directly at Sehun.

“Kai?”

His heart beats in his throat when Kai pulls away from the barn door and furiously stomps towards Sehun. He looks so miserably exhausted and desperate at the same time. He looks like a man who is about lose everything, but he is still holding onto the last silvers of hope.

The wind is knocked out Sehun’s lungs with a gasp when Kai grabs the sides of his waist and slams him up the outside wall of the lavatory. Before Sehun could object, Kai’s mouth covers his. It is a rough kiss, full of desperation, forlornness and sheer hunger. The backpack slips to the ground as Sehun closes his eyes and slides his fingers into Kai’s hair. He clutches Kai’s hair at the back of his head as Kai cuts every line of air, shoving his tongue into Sehun’s mouth. He bites, licks, sucks, and Sehun does not protest, but only encourages Kai with shivery whimpers and moans.

Kai’s fingers are curling and gripping Sehun’s hip and Sehun gasps into Kai’s mouth when Kai’s knee presses between Sehun’s thighs. It’s like an electric jolt and Sehun shudders. Kai’s hand glides into Sehun’s shirt while their tongues swirl around one another in an erotic dance. Their lips are making obscene noises as a sound resonates from the back of Kai’s throat, which drives Sehun crazy. Kai grinds his hardened cock against Sehun’s thigh with his hot palm thirsting after Sehun’s skin. It is pressed to the planes of Sehun’s stomach and when his fingers slip beneath the navel, Sehun’s head spins harder.

Kai breaks the kiss suddenly and pants for air. “I know you don’t love me. Just think of me as him. I’m sorry—” he starts, but Sehun yanks his hair, pulling him close again.

“Shut up.” Sehun leads the kiss this time because Kai seems too surprised for it. Sehun’s cock in his pants aches for friction, which Kai soon offers him. His hands snake around Sehun’s hips and desperately bites into Sehun’s ass before he hoists Sehun up.

As Sehun wraps his legs around Kai’s waist, back braced against the wall, and grazes his teeth on Kai’s swollen lower lip. When Kai breaks the kiss for the second time, Sehun wants to groan, but he ends up moaning in pleasure as Kai drags his lips down his neck. He clenches his eyes, tilting his head back with a string of moans escaping his throbbing lips. Kai is slamming into his crotch, grinding their cocks together while his lips ravage Sehun’s skin on his collarbone. He keeps his hands firm under Sehun’s thighs to hold him up and oh, how deliriously stunning it feels to have Kai’s hard cock driving against his. Sehun completely loses his breath as Kai thrusts harder while his mouth travels all over Sehun’s neck and face.

When they come down from their high, Kai falls apart completely with his red lips parted so beautifully. He lets Sehun’s thighs go, but Sehun could only hold his footing for a moment before his knees buckle and he drops to the ground with his entire body wrecked. Kai sinks with him and they catch their breath, leaned against the lavatory’s wall.

Sehun, flushed and spent, turns his gaze to Kai. Kai is panting laboriously, staring up at the sky. He extends his arm and slides his hand over the back of Kai’s. Kai drops his head and glances to Sehun with a guilt-stricken expression.

“Please don’t tell me it’s a mistake, Sehun,” he whispers, eyes brimming with sorrow.

Sehun’s heart clenches so painfully, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. What should he say? Why did he even do that?

“It’s okay,” Kai withdraws his hand. “It was my fault.”

“Wait,” Sehun rasps and grabs Kai’s shirt with his uninjured hand. “I was only thinking of _you_ , Kai,” he breathes out, leaning his forehead on Kai’s. “When you kissed me, when you touched my body… when I came.”

Kai pulls back, wide-eyed. “Wh-what? A-are you—” he is startled by the shriek of the cockerel.

“We should talk,” Sehun says with a sigh. “But later.” He stands up and holds a hand out to Kai.

Kai stares at his hand for a moment. He takes it.


	27. Timeless Aching

He must have fallen into a pretty deep slumber, because when he wakes up, he has no idea of where he is or what the time is. Sehun sucks in a sharp breath through his nose and blinks his tired, sleep-laced eyes. His spine hurts and somewhere in his neck stings when he tries to lift his head that has been resting against the car’s window, possibly for hours. The sunlight burns his eyesight for a moment and the subtle vibration of the car grumbles beneath him. It isn’t the car. It’s his stomach. Kris is driving now and Sehun is pretty sure he does not have a driver’s license. Kai isn’t asleep, but he is slumped against the front seat, looking unbelievably sleepy.

Sehun checks the time. 13:07. At least Kai and Kris’ grandmother had packed them some sandwiches. He glances to Shixun, who is staring at him. “Slept well?” he asks and Sehun isn’t sure if it’s meant to be sarcastic.

Kai raises his head and looks back to Sehun at once. Sehun smiles at him, but Kai does not return it as he turns his gaze ahead. “Where are we?” Sehun inquires in a hoarse voice as he grabs the sandwich that Shixun offers.

“Almost at Gawlreng. Good that you woke up,” Shixun says. It looks like he had some sleep as well. Sehun takes a bite of the egg sandwich.

Sehun has been to Gawlreng before. But this is not how he remembers it. The Gawlreng he had been to was in ruins and was devastated. The town Kris drives them into now is just as any other ordinary town. The buildings are taller than they should be and the people, although are staring, don’t seem hostile when they see the foreign car enter their gated community. There are even private houses and gardens, but it is mostly a town with many shop lots.

The car comes to a halt out of the sudden and Kai is the first to exit the car. The rest follow him promptly. Men and women watch them with intent as they amble past them.

Mark is waiting in the parking lot with Yixing and Donghae by his sides. Sehun is surprised to see Xiomara behind them. Why would Mark let her tag along? And he is even more surprised to see Xiomara clad in leather pants and a tank top with her silver hair tied in a high ponytail. She has her arms crossed over her chest with a scowl etched to her face. That might be because of the scorching sun.

Kai looks guilt-stricken when his eyes lands on Xiomara and Sehun fights the urge to take hold of his hand to comfort him.

“You look terrible,” Yixing remarks when Kai walks up to him. “When was the last time you slept?”

“When I almost smashed my brother’s skull,” Kai says reluctantly.

Yixing heaves a sigh and rests a hand on Kai’s shoulder. “Mark told us everything. We… couldn’t… We don’t know where our parents are either.”

Kai nods, as though he had expected that. “We’ll find them.”

Donghae lets out an exasperated breath and says, “You should have told us all earlier.”

“I know. I should have,” Kai sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Sehun says, stepping in, but he pauses when Kai glares at him.

“You don’t have to defend me, Sehun,” he spits and much to Sehun’s shock, Kai turns his face sharply away from Sehun. “Where is she? We don’t have time to waste.”

“Yes, she said she’ll meet us here,” Mark says. “Let’s wait for a moment.”

It isn’t like they have any other option anyway. This Locator might be their last chance at finding their parents. As they wait, Sehun dismisses the idea of Kai treating him coldly because of the embarrassing thing that Sehun had confessed and walks over to Xiomara. If there is one thing Sehun pines for so badly, besides Kai, it is to be friends with Xiomara again.

She looks up at him without any expression. “Hey,” she says with a sigh.

“How are you?” Sehun inquires.

She shrugs. “I guess, there’s no point in moping around now that I know who…” she trails off with a glower forming on her eyebrows and lips.

Sehun opens his mouth to comment on her brash reply when everyone shifts. He looks ahead and sees Amber wending her way towards them. “Took you long enough,” Kris snorts.

“Hey, remember, I’m the one doing you lot the favour,” Amber retorts with her hands stuck in the pockets of her sweatpants. Her hair is all mussed up as if she’s just got out of bed. “Here,” she hands Kris a piece of paper. Mark takes a look at the paper as well.

“What is this?” Mark demands.

“The address of your Locator.”

“Are you kidding me?” Mark growls. “Didn’t you say you have a Locator?”

“I did, but I didn’t say I have him in my pocket. He’s an impossible brat, so you gotta go fetch him yourselves. Why do you need a Locator, anyway?”

“That isn’t any of your business.” He groans.

“You come into my town, asking for my help, you make it my business,” Amber spits and Sehun can see that she is still the same. He doesn’t know why that offers him some comfort.

“We should go to the Ministry, as I said,” Donghae snarls under his breath. Mark looks at him, as though he is considering it. “Mark, we need their help. To at least find them if not help us solve this problem. I can maybe talk to Vaughn.”

Mark nods his head. “Let’s do that. Kai, here,” he hands Kai the piece of paper. “We’re not gonna get too far with just a Locator. We have to try something. I’m going to the Ministry to lodge a complaint and see if they could send a search party. You see if there’s any luck with the Locator.”

Kai clenches his jaw so hard that Sehun worries he might snap it. “We should stick together,” Kai says.

“That is not efficient at the moment.” He claps his hand on Kai’s arm. “Go. See what you can do. We’ll see what we can do.”

Kai does little to protest and argue. So they divide up again. “Why are you giving me the cold shoulder?” Sehun asks under his breath when they are making their way back to the car. Kai looks to him with ballooned eyes.

“What?” he sounds truly surprised.

“I told you, I don’t think of it as a mistake, Kai,” Sehun whispers, blushing when he recalls the brief encounter of sheer lust and desperation.

Kai blinks his heavy eyes. “I know. I’m sorry if you thought that. I’m a little… groggy. I can’t even focus,” he huffs out a sigh.

“Oh,” Sehun bites his lower lip. “You have to sleep, Kai.”

“You think I don’t know that?” he says, but there is no animosity in his tone. Sehun can see that he can’t get Kai to talk in his right mind before he gets the chance to rest his eyes.

“Stop,” Sehun grabs his arm. “You _have_ to sleep,” he repeats. Kai looks too tired to argue. “Let Kris and Shixun get the Locator.”

“While you watch over me as I sleep?” Kai yanks his arm free. “Forget about it, Sehun. Get in the car.”

“What’s going on?” Kris asks as he joins them.

“He needs to sleep,” Sehun informs him and Kai grunts at him. “You can be stubborn later.”

Kris sighs. “How about we go get the Locator and then someplace for Kai to rest? I’ll stay with you.”

Kai finally nods his head. “Okay, fine.”

“Are you coming?” Kris yaps at Shixun, who is hugging Xiomara. “We don’t have all day!”

Shixun pulls away from Xiomara and shoots Kris a ferocious glare. “Oh, yes, Kris. I’m coming,” he spits and the way he says it as he stomps over to them makes Kris blush to the tip of his ears. Shixun’s shoulder slams against Kris’ before he climbs into the car.

 

* * *

 

The address leads them to the outskirt of Gawlreng, where it looks like nothing good ever happens. Alleys and ginnels reek of smoke. The building Kris parks the car before is tall and grey, but also spooky. It would have intimidated Sehun if he hadn’t already seen spookier things. He uncomfortably rubs the bandaged wrist as he follows the others up the stairs.

It looks like an apartment building, but of the worst sorts. Kai knocks on the door when they reach the apartment.

Kai shakes his head, rolling his eyes as he pounds his fist on the door again. He looks grumpier than before and Sehun knows better than to comment on it.

The door swings open after a moment and Sehun almost chokes on the smoke that gusts out the door. The man, who stands before them, is tall, fiercely broad-shouldered, clad in a white t-shirt and ripped blue jeans, with a thick, luscious mane of brown hair. Well-muscled and toned, he looks young, but not as young as them.

“Can I help you?” he asks in a coarse voice with a cigarette dangling between his fingers.

“Jaehan?” Kai inquires.

“Yeah?” the man cocks a thick eyebrow. He is a very handsome man, but not in the kind way. His grey eyes are like knives, so is his jaw.

“Amber sent us,” Kris says. “We need a Locator.”

“Amber sent you?” A corner of Jaehan’s lips quirk into a smirk. He looks to Sehun and Shixun, and blinks in surprise, noticing the twins for the first time. “Sorry, I’m not really in the business anymore,” he says with a sort of coolness that sends a chill down Sehun’s spine. “Bye-bye.”

Kai shoves the door open when Jaehan starts to close it. “We really need your help,” he says in a lowered voice

“Find someone else.”

“Please,” Shixun begs, stepping forward. Jaehan’s immediate focus is on him.

“Sorry, pretty face. I don’t do it anymore.”

“Our parents are missing and… we’re afraid something might have happened or will happen to them. Please. We don’t have much time, you are pretty much our only hope at the moment. If we don’t hurry, they might…” he trails off, hanging his head. Then lifting it up again, he earnestly looks at the taller man. “Please? We’ll pay you handsomely if you want.”

Jaehan lours at him with a lockjaw. Then groaning, he takes a drag of his cigarette and puffs out the smoke in Shixun’s face. “Wait here,” he disappears for a moment before returning with a jacket. “You’re gonna need to take me to a place where they last were. Or at least somewhere they recently had been to.”

Kris nods hastily. “The mansion. It’s closer.”

“And I also need something of theirs,” Jaehan says. “Hair, a clothing or anything.”

“We can arrange that,” Kai blurts out. The sudden spark of hope is so obvious in his eyes. “Come on. Let’s get going, then.”

“Thank you,” Shixun mutters to the older guy as they hurry down the stairs.

Jaehan looks irritated for a second, but then he smirks at Shixun with a shrug. “You said you’ll pay me.”

“Of course.”

Sehun doesn’t miss the frown Kris tosses in Shixun’s way and neither does Shixun.

 

* * *

 

“Wow,” Jaehan whistles out when they enter the soulless mansion. Kris flicks the lights on and Kai is constantly making himself scarce among them. He had barely said more than a word ever since they left Gawlreng. Shixun hurries up the stairs to grab some of Faiion and Grace’s things. “How rich are you people?” the man inquires with an arched brow, glancing around the entrance hallway.

“That is not the matter at hand,” Kris rebukes. “What else do you need? Candles, herbs?”

Jaehan turns his cocked brow to Kris. “I’m a Flairer, not a witch.”

“There!” Shixun hurries down with a hairbrush and a shirt. “Here you go,” he pants a little, handing them to Jaehan.

“This might take a while. You kids might as well sit down or something. And you,” he stops Shixun. “Scribble your parents’ names down on a paper and get me a lighter.”

“Are you gonna burn them?” Kris asks and Jaehan grimaces at him.

“No, I need to know their names.” He rolls his eyes. “And I need the lighter for a cigarette.”

“Sehun,” Kai’s raspy voice grazes the back of Sehun’s neck and Sehun jumps before he turns around.

“Ka—oh!” Sehun grunts when Kai collapses against him. Kris lurches forward with a hand extended. “It’s okay. I got him,” Sehun assures him, curling a steady arm around Kai’s back. Kai garbles something in whispers, leaning almost all of his weight on Sehun. “I’m gonna take him to bed. Stay close, though.”

Kris nods with concern crossing his face. He still has a hand held out in case he needs to catch his brother as Sehun drags Kai up the stairs. Kai tries to keep up with an arm draped over Sehun’s shoulders, but Sehun knows he is already half asleep.

They stumble in the hallway and Sehun struggles to keep Kai standing as he fumbles with the doorknob. He decides to let Kai sleep in the room he shares with Shixun since he couldn’t haul Kai all the way up to Kai’s room.

They spill into the room and Sehun presses a hand to Kai’s chest to hold him up. “Come on,” he grunts and lugs Kai to his own bed because that is the closest. He doesn’t even need to push Kai on the bed, Kai dives into it himself.

Sehun turns to yank the shoes off Kai’s feet, but a gasp escapes him when Kai grabs his wrist and wrenches Sehun onto the bed. “Kai!” Sehun hisses in a breath as he kneels beside Kai. He scowls at Kai. He’s tired and sleepy, but his grip is still so fucking strong. Thank God he’s not gripping the injured wrist.

“It felt… so good,” Kai mumbles into the pillow, half asleep. Sehun stops fighting and quietly watches Kai. “I felt like I was going to die. My heart… was about… to jump out my… chest.”

Sehun purses his smiling lips and carefully brushes a lock of hair out of Kai’s forehead. “Me, too.” He unbuttons Kai’s flannel shirt and flops Kai to lie on his front as he peels the shirt off.

“I love you, Sehun,” Kai whimpers as Sehun pulls his shoes off. Sehun straightens up and stares at him wordlessly. “Stay… Please.”

Sehun swallows and with half a heart, he lies beside Kai. “Sleep now. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I won’t… hurt you,” Kai’s voice is barely hearable now. “I promise.”

“I know.” He slides his fingers into Kai’s hair and gently strokes the strands. After a moment, Kai shifts and settles his head on Sehun’s chest. Completely paralyzed, Sehun stares at the ceiling as Kai quickly falls asleep, nuzzling his face into Sehun’s chest. He could probably hear how fast Sehun’s heart is racing right now.

Is this real?

Sehun closes his eyes. Everything suddenly feels all right now. Sehun feels like he is going to be all right now. For once, it feels so good, so comforting, so loved to have someone depend on him. Kai depends on him, if not for anything, then for affection. Sehun can relate his despair to Kai’s.


	28. And the Storm Calms

A couple of hours pass and Sehun does not rest his eyes even for a minute. Every twitch and movement he sees in Kai’s body as the man sleeps gives him comfort. From time to time, Kai tosses on the bed and even cracks an eye open, which offers Sehun a great deal of relief. Sehun had retreated to Shixun’s bed some time ago to provide Kai enough space to roll around, which Kai has been utilizing rather well. He occasionally mumbles Sehun’s name to ensure Sehun is still there and it flutters Sehun’s heart in an incomprehensible way.

He does not love Kai. Not this Kai. Sehun is certain of that. Such strong feelings would hurt him and for the time being, he can only regard Kai with a mixture of wariness and friendly familiarity. He cannot trust Kai with his heart, he can’t even get close to giving Kai such a responsibility. However, he looks at Kai with favour now.

What happened between them thus far is all but muddled. The kisses, the desperate moment of intimacy, all of them happened on the spur of the moment. They might mean something great to Kai, but they are nothing but a hazy release for Sehun. He could never stop himself when he is with Kai, but if he could, he would not have let it happen. They would have talk about this at some point and Sehun isn’t sure what he should tell Kai. He isn’t ready to share such an intimate relationship with him and he isn’t sure if Kai will understand him. For some odd reason, Sehun does not want to alienate Kai more than he already has. He does not want Kai to move further away from him, but he isn’t exactly prepared to open his heart for another man, even though it _is_ Kai. Sehun suspects it will also be a problem for Kai.

Sehun wonders if he could catch a wink or two while another hour passes, but his attention is sparked when Kai huffs out a heavy breath, stirring in the bed and buries his face in the pillow. “It smells like you,” he mumbles sleepily and Sehun sits up straight.

“Are you awake already?” Sehun asks in a low voice and Kai’s eyes flutter open. He sheepishly grins at Sehun with a side of his face pressed into the pillow.

“Any luck with the Locator?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t left the room.”

“Hmm,” he hums and closes his eyes again. It is a nice view, to watch Kai sleep. It isn’t the first time Sehun’s witnessed this, but this is still pleasant.

A few more minutes and the door springs open. Sehun almost growls at Kris for interrupting Kai’s sleep, but the flustered look on Kris’ face alarms him.

“Has Jaehan located them?” Sehun inquires.

“No, he couldn’t! But they’re back!” he gasps and Kai pulls himself up.

Sehun gets off the bed. “What? _Who’s_ back?”

“Your parents! Faiion and Grace are downstairs!”

Sehun gapes at him with a slack jaw. “Wait, what?”

“They just waltzed in and asked us what we’re doing with a stranger in the house.”

Both Sehun and Kai scamper out of the room, and all three of them race downstairs. When Sehun sees his parents in the living hall, inquiring Jaehan of his identity, his mouth falls hanging open. Shixun looks unbelievably flushed and confused as he also stares at his parents, who are in one piece, looking healthy and as they were the last time everyone had seen them.

“Well, this is anticlimactic,” Kai remarks under his breath, furiously crossing his arms over his chest.

“Mom! Dad!” Sehun yelps and his parents turn to him.

“Oh, for God’s sake, I told you to stay at Dillan’s place,” Faiion sighs heavily. Sehun involuntarily vaults forward and pounces onto his mother.

“Sehun,” Grace gasps, wrapping her arms around him. “I’m fine. It was just a mild concussion.”

“But you were gone, no one could reach you!” Shixun cries with palpable anger in his tone.

“My phone had died and we just needed to get away from everything for a while,” Faiion says. “I suppose we should have told you, but we were only gone for one night. And you were supposed to be at Dillan’s.”

“Everything was destroyed in our house,” Kris cuts in. “We don’t know where our parents are either!”

Faiion raises his eyebrow and Grace looks just as baffled. “What are you talking about, Kris?” Grace says. “We talked to Dillan only a moment ago, didn’t we?” she looks to her husband.

“Arthur!” Kris exclaims. “Isn’t he the one doing all of this?!”

The confusion in Grace’s face only deepens. “Arthur?”

“Your father Arthur,” Kai says, stepping in. “I… opened the tomb”

“Ooh, family drama,” Jaehan coos, settling down on the couch and lights a cigarette.

“What tomb? Arthur is indeed my father, but I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” says Grace. “How did you even know about him?”

Both Kai and Sehun exchange a perplexed glance. Then Sehun notices similar stupefaction on Kris and Shixun’s faces.

“Our house… we saw…” Kris says breathlessly.

“Kris, go home,” Faiion says, clapping a hand to Kris’ shoulder. “Your parents will be looking for you.”

Kris looks like he might shout. And Sehun is sure all four of them feel the same. “The tombstone!” Kai snaps out of the sudden. “Arthur has been haunting us ever since!”

Grace fixes Kai a shocked glare. “Kai, calm down. I don’t know which tombstone you’re speaking of.”

Kai rolls his jaw. “Fine.” He turns on his heel and dashes up the stairs. Grace and Faiion pass each other a scrutinizing look before they hurry after him. Sehun jogs up the stairs behind them. “Here!” Kai points to the door.

“Kai—” Faiion starts, but he stops himself when Kai stomps over to the door and rips the locked door open.

Sehun’s blood runs cold in his veins and his stomach twists in knots when Kai’s hands fall to his sides. A broomstick keels over from the supply closet, which is filled with all sorts of odds and sods. There is no stairway that leads down, there is no tombstone.

Kai’s eyes frantically searches for Sehun’s and when they find them, all that Sehun could do is stare back at him.

“Kai, I thought you said…” Shixun trails off, louring at him.

“I swear… there was…” Kai clasps his hand to his mouth and scrubs his face.

Faiion presses a hand to Kai’s back and says, “You must be stressed, Kai. We all are.”

Kris fishes his phone out of his pocket and answers it. “Mark?” his face whitens as he stares to glower at Kai. “Okay,” he sighs and hangs up. “Mark wants to come back now. Home. Mom and Dad are back.”

“This isn’t… possible. I know I wasn’t imagining things!” Kai barks and Sehun licks his lips.

“He’s telling the truth,” Sehun chimes in. “I was… here.”

“What is this about my father?” Grace inquires.

“Mom, Kai and I…” Sehun pauses, looking to Kai, who is shaking his head.

“Look, I can see that you are all very tired. Kris, Kai, go home. And take the stranger with you, for crying out loud,” Faiion chides them. “Enough of this nonsense.” He doesn’t wait for any reply as he escorts his wife up to their room.

When they are left alone in the hallway, Kai aimlessly stares into the supply closet.

“Are you sure it wasn’t an earthquake or something?” Kris rasps tiredly and his eyes dart to Shixun, who raises his hands in defence.

“Wasn’t me,” Shixun shrugs.

“We made all this stupid fuss over nothing?!” Kris spits.

“They were all gone, Kris,” Shixun says.

“Yeah, as if they never are?! Fuck, this is all just a colossal misunderstanding!”

Kai slams the door shut and with his hands clenched into fists at his sides, he starts toward the stairs.

“Kai,” Sehun calls out, following him down.

“He’s fucking with us,” Kai harrumphs, coming to a halt at the bottom of the stairs. “He’s fucking with us big time.”

“I know, I know, I believe you.” He curls his fingers around Kai’s arm.

Kai’s scowl only seems to harden. He tears his arm free. “ _Believe_ me? You _know_ it is real!”

“That’s not how I meant,” Sehun frowns. “Kai, calm down.”

“He’s messing with our heads,” he pants out, turning his face away. “I have to go.”

“Wait—”

Kai does not wait. Sehun’s heart hammers against his chest as the frustration overwhelms his senses. He doesn’t understand what is going on and he isn’t sure his brain could process anything at the moment, except for the fact that he wants to be by Kai’s side.

“Kai,” Kris calls after him. “What are we going to tell the others?! About screwing up big time?!”

“I don’t fucking know, Kris! I am not lying, okay?! I am not crazy!” Kai hisses, spinning around and grabbing Kris by the shirt collar.

“Okay, okay. I didn’t say you lied,” Kris yanks Kai’s fist off his shirt. “But you could have misunderstood everything.”

“That’s what he wants you all to believe,” he scoffs.

“Kai, that’s enough.”

Kai rubs his temples and he doesn’t linger around for another minute as he storms out of the house.

Jaehan follows him and Kris with a smug look.

“I haven’t paid you,” Shixun says, halting Jaehan on his way.

“Well, I haven’t exactly located them. So,” he smirks and presses a piece of paper in Shixun’s hand. “Call me,” he winks at Shixun, who could only gawk at the taller, stupidly handsome man.

 

 

* * *

 

Kai isn’t sure if he feels thankful or horrified as he stands in the mess of his house. “It was an earthquake,” he hears Mark mutter to his father in the corner as their mother and Kris try to salvage whatever that’s left good. “We had been running around all day for nothing.”

“We’re sorry. We just got caught up with work.”

“My fault. I just ran around listening to Kai. Even dragged Donghae and Yixing into it.”

Allis and her husband apparently had the same excuse. Most of Kai doesn’t buy a single word of it, but he could only argue so much until his words are just noises. Mark is convinced that they had just seriously misunderstood a series of uneventful situations and Kai’s theory is nothing but a hogwash. It was all a coincidence, he said. Kai could have convinced them, if he could prove it to them that they are all Arthur’s doings. He couldn’t. Sehun could vouch, but having been dragged all over the place for no reason, neither Mark nor the others are willing to even hear another one of Kai’s words.

He is exhausted. He tried and he lost.

Kai silently questions himself if any of it had actually been real or is it all just his imagination? He would have opted for the latter if Sehun hadn’t encountered all the anomaly himself. So why just Sehun and Kai? What is Arthur trying to prove? What is his motive? Why is he keen on driving them both crazy? Why _them_?

_‘Sometimes, you need not fear your weaknesses. Embrace them. And your fears will fear you. Let the speck of light guide you through your darkness.’_

Arthur… or the voice had told them that his own children had locked him up in the tombstone. Children. He never said Grace and Gwenna. He aims for Sehun. He hasn’t threatened Kai. He has threatened Sehun’s life. More than once. He wants revenge. There is no warranty that he has vindictive motives toward his daughters. Whom does he behold the grudge against?

Who _is_ he?

“Earthquake,” Kai mumbles, turning around to face his older brother and father. “Seriously?”

“Kai, we will hear no more of this,” Mark snaps. “If something’s troubling you, we can help.”

Kai snorts. “What? You think I’m going insane? Sehun was there! He saw everything!”

“Okay, fine, Kai!” Kris yelps behind him. “So what? Sehun said he saw you roaming around the place. He never said he saw Arthur. Maybe something _is_ wrong with _you_!”

“Kris!” his mother upbraids him at once. “You will stop yelling at each other this instant! Kai, I have no idea what made you think, of all the things you could have theorized, Arthur’s soul did this. He died many, many years ago, Kai. I was there. I can assure you there is no tombstone, no vengeful soul about. Now you will drop this notion. We will talk more about your… problem later.”

“I don’t have a problem, Mom!” Kai snarls. “God! Forget about it.” 

 

* * *

 

Some weeks later…

Dried leaves take to the air, swaying along with the flow of the autumn wind outside the window. The sun wanes too soon these days as the year nears a cold winter with Halloween around the corner. He greets his bed after weeks of solitude and brooding.

Perhaps Kai isn’t ready to come back to this room, but he is left with little options. Stay home while his own family looks at him like he’s a Freak, who constantly blabbers about having a spirit after them, or return to FLAC and just forget about everything for a moment. Even with the occasional nightmares that he suffers at night, he prefers the night when no one is around to the day. During those weeks of rest and period of relaxation, no one and nothing had bothered him. Everything has gone to normal. Well, not exactly. Kai feels like a completely different person now. His mind is bothered almost every waking hour. He thinks about the dark more often than before. His family looks at him different and well, nothing is fine anymore.

Upon hearing from Sehun, Kai’s mother adamantly forced Kai to meet a Flairer specialist, wondering if it could be Kai’s sub-Flair. Plainly put, Kai’s seeing a shrink. But apart from that, Kai hasn’t even seen Sehun in weeks and maybe it’s a good thing. He can only imagine how confused Sehun is as well and he would probably seek some answers, which Kai doesn’t have.

Kai drops his duffle bag on his bed before he flumps on the edge. He sucks in a sharp breath and drops his face in his hands. Arthur just disappeared all out of the sudden and Kai grows more agitated every single day.

He stands and pulls out a pair of sweatpants to change into. He takes a quick bath and clads himself in the sweatpants, discarding the used t-shirt. Without bothering to pull a shirt on, he flops on the desk’s chair and opens a book. He must have fallen behind in every class and although he knows he will barely pass the semester, as all other semesters, he should at least try to catch up.

The door opens and Kai’s head perks up in surprise. When Sehun steps into the room, their eyes lock and Sehun looks taken aback, though Kai is fairly nonplussed himself. He had thought Sehun is still on leave, but when Sehun saunters into the room with his messenger bag slung on his shoulder, Kai realizes he must have come back here before him.

“You’re… back,” Sehun says, closing the door behind him.

Kai’s flushes to the tips of his ears. Sehun must think of Kai as a coward, who had run away from confrontation since Kai had not said a word about… whatever that is going on between them.

Settling the bag on his desk, Sehun perches on his bed, facing Kai. “How… are you?” he asks hesitantly.

Kai lowers his head, clutching the edges of his textbook. “Fine,” comes the response.

“I’m sorry… about everything.”

What is he sorry for? Is he sorry because Kai had made a fool of himself? Is he sorry because he supported Kai in the first place? Does he still believe everything was caused by Arthur?

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this,” Kai mutters.

Sehun is silent for a moment. “How have you been?”

“If you’re asking whether I’ve been in my right mind, I have. I mean, you’ve nothing to lose. I’m the one who’s losing my mind here.” He drops his gaze to the book.

“Do you… need any notes?”

Kai clenches his jaw and eyes, drawing in unsteady breaths. “Doesn’t it bother you at all?” His eyes fling open and he faces Sehun. “One moment we’re both believing that we’re being hunted down and the next, everything goes back to normal?!”

Sehun lets out a sigh. “Trust me, Kai. It bothers me the most that you never cared to check up on how I’m doing.” That is a knife to the heart. Sehun pins Kai with a miserable look. “I couldn’t sleep at night. I was… scared. For _you_. I was scared why… why this is happening.” He exhales a flabbergasted breath. “I know you don’t… I know I’m not part of your life, Kai. And you’re not part of mine. But it hurts a little that you think you’re alone in this.”

“Are you with me, then?” Kai asks, glowering at him.

“Kai, I was with you when it happened. Even if no one believed, I believe you as you believe me. And I don’t think any of it was a coincidence. I did talk to Grace… My mother says her father had died a peaceful death. He was a… bad person, but there was nothing else. Part of me doubts that it’s Arthur that’s after us, but if it’s a soul, then he’s the perfect candidate.”

“I thought the same,” Kai sighs, scrubbing his face with his palms. A silence falls between them and Sehun looks greatly distressed, if not tired from the day. “We just assumed a lot of things.”

“We did,” Sehun murmurs, looking down at his shoes. “He hasn’t… bothered you?”

Kai shakes his head. “You?”

It’s Sehun’s turn to shake his head.

“What if… it isn’t Arthur’s soul?”

Sehun raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Kai shifts in his chair. “Remember how he called you _son of Faiion_? And he said his _children_ locked him up in the tombstone.”

“He also said he won’t be scavenging for _his_ body. Did he mean yours or…?”

“I don’t know. Sehun, whatever the fuck he is, Gwenna knew. He wanted Gwenna out of the picture.”

“It’ll be so great if we could talk to Gwenna.”

That idea both amused and horrified Kai. They remain silent for another stretch of time. When Kai decides he has had enough of this talk for the evening, he retires to his bed. Sehun is still watching him— _waiting_ for something.

Kai licks his lips as he takes his seat on the edge of his bed and faces Sehun. Only the narrow gap between their beds separates them and their knees are almost brushing. “I want to just forget about this for a while and… go back to my old life,” Kai says slowly.

“It’ll be impossible.”

“Wow, you’re really optimistic, aren’t you?” Kai snorts and catches Sehun smiling so fucking insanely beautiful. “Listen,” he starts again with a deep breath. “I like you, Sehun… And I know you have your own hell to struggle with, but… neither of us has to do this alone. I know I’m not your preferred… _Kai_ ,” he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that. “But I… I want to be close to you. Please, don’t friend-zone me. If you’re not… comfortable with me yet, let’s just… get to know each other better. Just… being with you makes me happy, to be honest. Actually… I feel like I’m suffocating sometimes, but it still… I don’t know. I don’t know how to describe. I want you to be there, Sehun. When I’m having these horrible nightmares, when I wake up from them. I want to see your face and feel that everything is all right and that I am still alive and that I’m not lost in the darkness. It’s like I want you… to be the light that guides me through the… darkness…” the words spill out languidly. “I know you can’t move on and I understand. If I could fall out love with you, I would, Sehun. Trust me. Nothing hurts me more than seeing your every day, knowing that you don’t—”

His body freezes as Sehun’s soft petals gently presses into his lips. His breath hitches, but he doesn’t fight it. Not in the least. He closes his eyes, slides his fingers into Sehun’s hair and kindly clutches it. The sweet, chaste kiss deepens slowly and Sehun is leaning his weight with his hands on Kai’s knees.

When the kiss breaks, Sehun withdraws an inch and keeps his half-lidded eyes on Kai’s slightly parted lips, which are aching for more. “Give me some time?” Sehun asks in a whisper. “I like you, too, Kai. But… I need some time to… move on and start something completely new.”

Kai nods lightly, loosening his grip around Sehun’s hair. “Is it really that difficult?” he asks. “Do you really love him that much? Do you… think of him every time I touch you?”

Sehun only sighs as he pulls away completely. “I don’t want to hurt you, Kai. It is never my intention. But if you want this… you’ll need to know that I do and I might always love _him_.”

Kai grits his teeth, with the strong taste of Sehun’s lips still lingering on his lips. He leans back against his headboard and stares ahead. “And what if I don’t like to share your love?”

Sehun does not reply, perhaps he couldn’t bring himself to reply.

“Would you go back to him if you could?” Kai turns his face to meet Sehun’s eyes, but Sehun has already averted his gaze. “You can be honest.” He doesn’t think Sehun could hurt him any more than he already has.

He notices Sehun’s hands balling into fists on his lap. “In a heartbeat,” he whispers and Kai throws his head back on the headboard, letting out a dejected sigh. He is right to think that he is _hopelessly_ in love with this boy, whose heart he can never win because it is already won by another. No one forgets their first love. Perhaps Sehun wants his first to be his last. Perhaps Kai has no room in his heart.  


	29. The Art of Pain

“Just saying, if you told us or the librarian what you’re looking for, you might find it sooner,” Chanyeol chimes as he juggles with the paperweights, perched on one end of the table. The girl from the table nearby fixes him a subtle lour and he offers a grin as an apology. Then with a lowered voice he says, “You’ve been spending an awful lot of time in the library lately.”

Baekhyun sneers at him as Sehun continues to rake the shelves for informative materials on Flairs. He hasn’t exactly been focused on anything—but the attempt to find something, anything—ever since he had returned to FLAC. So far, he knows that whatever that is after him and Kai has a mixture of incredible Flairs, so he must either be a Recherché or something he does not know of yet. If it isn’t Arthur, then Sehun knows he needs to do some research. And Kai does not exactly seem like he is in the right state of mind to get into this at the moment. It is good enough that nothing has been bothering them for a while now, but something tells Sehun that it is very temporary.

“I’m just looking for random encyclopaedias on Flairs,” Sehun mutters, dragging his fingers along the spines of books.

“Why? For a class?” Chanyeol asks, tossing the paperweight in his hands.

“Hmm.”

“You know, Chanyeol. Since you’re in the library, you might as well take a book out and read it,” Baekhyun playfully chides, his eyes looking at Chanyeol ever so endearingly.

“I did not befriend a nerd,” Chanyeol snorts, prodding a finger into Baekhyun’s forehead. “Besides, I have a study buddy now.”

That makes Baekhyun frown, but Chanyeol is oblivious to it as ever. Sehun does not know why Shixun has agreed to “tutor” Chanyeol, but he knows the arrangement appeals to neither Baekhyun nor Kris. Kris, in particular, has been trying his level best to win Shixun back, but all that he earns in return from his ex-boyfriend is a cold shoulder or a smug smirk when Shixun is deliberately throwing himself onto every guy that shows an interest in him. It really isn’t Sehun’s business to poke his nose somewhere it doesn’t belong. But he can clearly see how it’s hurting Kris. Or in the case of this new arrangement of Shixun and Chanyeol, he can see how annoyed Baekhyun is. It is kind of hilarious. Shixun resents Baekhyun for having a fling with Kris a long time ago, they weren’t even properly dating apparently and now Baekhyun loathes Shixun for being the center of Chanyeol’s attention.

Meanwhile, Sehun and Kai have a much bigger problem.

“I’m not sure why you need a study buddy in the first place,” Baekhyun mumbles, lowering his eyes to the book he is no longer reading. “And he’s actually a nerd.”

“He’s funny, you know,” Chanyeol snickers to himself. “And he’s not a nerd. He’s smart. And hot—no offence, Sehun.”

Sehun shrugs. “None taken.” He pulls a book out of the shelf.

Baekhyun abruptly jolts up to his feet, gathers his things and storms out on them. Chanyeol, with a slack mouth, gapes at his absence. “What was that about?”

Sehun pins him with a narrow glare. “How would I know?” It isn’t Sehun’s place to confess Baekhyun’s obvious feelings for Chanyeol. He shouldn’t be the one to take that away from Baekhyun. His attention is entirely averted when he sees Kai strutting toward them with a smug look plastered to his face.

“Whoa, did you drop by to get a quiet place to sleep?” Chanyeol asks Kai, seeming genuinely surprised.

“You. Leave. Now.” Kai’s tone is kind, but the threat is real in his voice and smile. Sehun sighs and looks to Chanyeol, who rolls his eyes and jumps off the table.

“Fine,” he sighs. “Remember, it’s a library.” He winks at Sehun, who flushes immediately.

“Did you… tell him?” Kai hisses with a blush spreading over his bronze cheeks. Sehun leans back against the bookshelf, hugging the book to his chest.

“Tell him what?” he smirks and Kai groans silently, slumping his side on the bookshelf beside Sehun. The library is quiet, they are standing close enough to hear each other’s breathing and all that Sehun could think about is how good Kai’s lips feel against his every time they kiss. Kai hasn’t pushed him away and he isn’t forcing Sehun to move closer, either. This feels just fine, to be completely honest.

“About… us,” Kai mutters, keeping his gaze low.

“What about us?” Sehun pushes, supressing a smile.

“Stop it, Asherton,” he glowers up at Sehun. “Whatever… that’s about us.”

“You mean, us making out from time to time?”

“Is that all that we have?”

Sehun lets out a sigh. “For the time being, yes, Kai.”

Kai bows his head reluctantly. “So listen,” he raises a hand to the back of his head and rubs it uncomfortably. “Um… so I was thinking… Uh…”

“What is it?”

“Are you going to the Halloween ball?”

Sehun blinks at him. “I thought we have to go home.”

Kai sucks in a loud breath. “I really think I need some time away from my family.”

Sehun sniggers at that. “Your brother studies in the same school and your mother is the Headmistress.”

“Yeah, you’ve no idea how hard it is for me to avoid them.” His eyes dart to the book Sehun is hugging. “What are you doing in here?”

“How did you know you’d find me here?”

“I looked everywhere in the school.” He fishes a couple of energy bars from his pocket and hands them to Sehun. With a flustered high colour in his cheeks and neck, Kai says, “Here. Thought you might not have had any lunch.”

“Thanks,” Sehun accepts the bars and helplessly smiles. “Anyway, I was looking for something on Flairs. Something to match the… whatever that’s after us.” He starts towards the unoccupied table and Kai follows him. They sit across one another and Sehun flips the book open.

“So have we decided it’s not Arthur?”

“No, but if it is him, he has some pretty awesome Flairs.”

“Tell me about it,” Kai sighs and stares at Sehun.

Sehun tries to pretend like he isn’t aware of Kai’s eyes piercing through him. “You know, if you’re going to the ball—”

“Will you go with me?” Kai blurts out blatantly and Sehun’s eyes shoot up.

“What?”

Kai purses his lips, hands rolling into fists on the table. Then he says in a low voice, “Sorry… Just forget I asked.”

“No,” Sehun extends a hand across the table and wraps it around Kai’s fist. He notices how Kai flinches, but he lights up like Christmas. “I… I would… like to go with you.”

“Seriously?” he rasps, eyes fluttering in shock. “You would?”

“It’ll be nice to ditch the craziness in the family for a while.”

Kai bites on his lower lip as Sehun retrieves his hand. He continues to stare while Sehun skims through the pages.

Only after a moment does Kai break the silence. “Sehun,” he calls with a stern voice and Sehun glances to him.

“Yes?”

Kai’s expression has darkened and he looks way too bothered to even look straight at Sehun. “I thought about what you said.”

“What I said?”

Kai fidgets with his wristwatch and clears his throat. “About, you know… talking to Gwenna.”

“I just said it without thinking, Kai,” Sehun says with a sigh. “I know it must have sounded crazy.”

“No, no, I was just thinking about something,” he shifts in his seat and glances around them as though to check no one is watching them. No one is. “Gwenna is supposedly the only one who knows… everything. She probably knows who’s after us. What if… we… _you_ can see her again?”

Sehun gets what Kai is hinting at, but it sounds absurd. “Kai, I thought we agreed on not changing her destiny. I’m not sure I can even do that now that she’s dead.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. I don’t want you to… suffer any more than you already have. But,” he draws in a deep breath before continuing. “Gwenna was all right in that… other fate you were talking about, right?”

Sehun arches an eyebrow. “Mostly. Why?”

“What if… what if you could just… go back? For like a day or maybe some hours. Re-alter Grace’s destiny. Reverse it. Whatever.”

Sehun could not have possibly described the way his heart painfully clenches in his chest at that moment. “Kai,” he breathes out, jaw dropping.

“Isn’t it brilliant?!” Kai rasps with an exhilarated grin.

 _Brilliant_?! “Kai, what are you even talking about? I can’t… go back.”

“But you _can_ , Sehun.”

Sehun shakes his head. “No, I can’t. I don’t know what would have happened to all of us if I didn’t change my mother’s destiny that night.”

“Exactly. So you can’t be sure it was all bad. We either don’t do anything about it until it’s too late or we take our chances. I don’t ever want you to get hurt, but by the looks of it, you _could_ get hurt if we don’t find a way to deal with this.”

Sehun sits up straight and stiffens. “I’m not sure you know about the consequences of what you’re suggesting, Kai.”

“I know. I might not exist. None of this will. You’ll go back to your old life, to _your_ Kai. But you can return, can’t you? All you need is to find Gwenna, just for a moment and get some answers. So far I don’t see a downside.”

“How about the fact that Grace would destroy everything in her path?”

“She wouldn’t hurt you because according to what you said, she needs you. As she needs Shixun.”

“Kai, please, stop,” he starts to plead. The idea is too tempting and for all that Sehun knows, with any more encouragement, he might actually do it. Not to find Gwenna, but to just return to his old life and as Kai had put it, return to _his_ Kai. To his family. “It’s too much risk.”

Kai smiles, much to Sehun’s surprise. “You think I don’t know that? I will cease to exist, well, not really, but it won’t be _me_. But Sehun, look, you can come back. If you choose to.” There is so much pain in Kai’s smile. He stretches an arm and takes Sehun’s hand into his. “Now that you know what happens if you’d altered Grace’s destiny, you don’t have to worry much. You will return to all of this. But… you can also be with him for a while, Sehun. I know you want to see him. I know you want to go back to him.”

Sehun pulls his hand from Kai’s and jolts up to his feet. “I don’t want to hear any of this anymore, Kai. It sounds ridiculous.” He picks up the book.

Kai stands with him. “You and I both know it doesn’t, Sehun. It makes sense. You’ve got nothing to lose. You are not going to create an entirely new world. You’ll just be going back to the old one and… hopefully will return to new one.”

It is way too tempting. Why hasn’t Sehun thought of it himself? But he can’t possibly go with it. There are way too many risks to wager.

“No,” he says with a finality in his voice and Kai gives in with a heavy sigh.

“All right. Okay.”

 

* * *

 

Sehun is all aware of Kai’s eyes on him, even though Kai is settled in his bed and is supposed to be revising for the upcoming autumn test. Shifting in the chair of his desk, Sehun tries to ignore Kai and focus on his revisions. What Kai had told him that afternoon keeps resonating in his head and there is only so much that Sehun could do to not to think about the possibilities of going back. Of course, he wouldn’t know anything for sure, but Kai is right. They desperately need Gwenna’s help before anything worse could happen. Or maybe Sehun is just starting to convince himself of it, although he clearly has ulterior motives.

It’s not fair to Kai, is it? He can only imagine how hurt Kai must have been when he suggested that.

A groan from Kai gathers his attention briefly. Kai slams the books shut and toss them aside. He looks to Sehun and holds his gaze for a moment before saying, “Hey, do you wanna play chess?”

Sehun stares at him. “I’m studying.”

“I’m bored.”

Sehun gnaws on his bottom lip. “Kai, you should go back to studying.”

Kai rises from the bed and walks over to his wardrobe before pulling out a box. “Come on. Please?” his smile is deliriously beautiful.

Darn him.

Sehun abandons the books and climbs into Kai’s bed as Kai begins to set the pieces up on the board. “What’s the stake?” Kai asks and Sehun looks at him in confusion.

“What?”

“We need a bet to make it interesting, no?”

“Kai, I used to be locked up in my room a lot, so I’m kind of an expert at chess.”

Kai laughs. “Really? I always thought Shixun was the one who’s super good at chess.”

Sehun shrugs. “It’s one of my many hidden talents.”

“I’m sure,” he scoffs and makes himself comfortable on the bed across Sehun. “That’s great. I like a challenge. What about you?”

“You seriously underestimate me, Kai.”

Kai smirks. “Even better. So you won’t back down from challenge?”

“Name your bet,” Sehun says.

“Strip chess.”

“What?” Sehun’s face wilts almost immediately, Kai lets out a furious guffaw.

“Never played it? You take a piece of clothing off every time you lose a piece. Also, the loser in the end must do whatever the winner asks of him.”

“That is too vague.”

“Okay, fine. If I win, you will go back.”

“I’m not gonna play this,” Sehun starts to get off the bed, but he freezes when Kai catches his wrist.

“Don’t chicken out, Asherton. It is so unlike you.”

Sehun clenches his jaw. “If I win, you should be my personal squire for a month. You must do everything that I tell you to do.”

“Deal. Although that’s more like a privilege to me,” he grins and Sehun rolls his eyes.

“Hope you wore your underwear,” Sehun mutters as he makes the first move. He glides his pawn over the board and Kai confidently moves his pawn without thinking too long.

“Well, I hope you didn’t,” Kai says under his breath.

Sehun is the first to take one of Kai’s pawns. With a victorious smirk, Sehun tacitly orders Kai to take his shirt off. But Kai doesn’t. He takes his wristwatch off.

They continue. It is Kai’s turn for victory and Sehun, left with not many options, peels his t-shirt off and sheds it to the floor. He half-expected Kai to ogle his body, but Kai, having the decency, keeps his eyes on the chessboard, though a smirk lurks on his lips. Sehun grabs the pillow and lightly hugs it as they proceed.

Sehun takes Kai’s bishop and Kai pulls his shirt off. Well, Sehun does not have the decency, so he outright stares at Kai’s toned chest and abs for a moment before averting his gaze when Kai catches him staring. The back of Sehun’s neck burns.

It is Kai who strikes Sehun’s pieces down straight in a row. The socks come off first, one for each piece. Then the belt. Then Sehun is stripped down to his boxers while Kai still sits there in his pants, carefully watching him as Sehun pulls his pants off.

It’s too late to back out now.

Sehun flumps back on the bed, holding the pillow close to his body as he moves another piece forward. His head is clouded and all that he can think about is Kai’s fierce heat. Kai loses a piece this time and he yanks his belt off.

“Checkmate,” Kai ends the game and Sehun’s heart sinks. He looks up at Kai with blood filling the rest of his cheeks. Kai licks his lips, his lustful gaze travelling down Sehun’s bare collarbones and arms. Sehun sets the pillow aside and instead of getting off the bed, he knocks the chessboard away and kneels up on either side of Kai’s thighs, straddling his hips. As Sehun’s fingers tangle in Kai’s hair, Kai latches his hands on the sides of Sehun’s waist.

“You’re going back,” Kai whispers, lips brushing against Sehun’s stomach and Sehun helplessly shutters his eyes, hands fisting in Kai’s hair. Kai hooks his fingers into the waistband of Sehun’s boxers and looks up as Sehun arches down. Their lips barely touch before Kai drags his mouth down Sehun’s neck.

“Kai…”

“I love you, Sehun,” Kai says for the nth time and Sehun could never bring himself to respond coherently to it.

Kai presses his lips to Sehun’s navel and kisses along the thin trail of hair before he glances up at Sehun again, with so much hesitancy in his eyes. Sehun does not want to do this. Not like this. Kai does not deserve it. Kai lowers his hands to Sehun’s thighs and his fingers slip into the boxers from under. Kai’s eyes are closed and his parted lips are trembling. His breaths are hoarse and raspy.

He presses his face into Sehun’s stomach and shivers with trepidation. Kai is nervous because he is finally holding something that is so precious to him and Sehun knows Kai doesn’t want to lose it. But he will and even Kai is aware of that.

“You have to go, Sehun,” Kai exhales against Sehun’s flat belly, arms snaking around Sehun’s waist.

Sehun retreats slowly and looks into Kai’s eyes. “I will come back to you, Kai.”

Kai smiles a little. “Best not make promises you can’t keep, Sehun.”

Sehun staggers off the bed. “Everything could go wrong,” he says, picking up his clothes from the floor.

“I know,” he says. “But you’re not any happier here anyway.”

Sehun frowns heavily. “That is not true, Kai.”

Kai shakes his head, a little bleary-eyed. “We need Gwenna’s help. And you need a closure. A proper one.”


	30. Time to Return

The bitterness of the air in the room is what he encounters foremost when he rouses. His eyes flutter in a daze as his brain warms up to conceive the physical world. The spine-chilling sensation suddenly registers to him and he shifts his weight on the mattress. He does not make any abrupt movement when he notices the shadow looming by Kai’s bedside. His eyes fling open as his heart jumps to his throat.

Propping himself up on his elbows while his vision clears, Sehun sucks in a shaky breath and sits up with a start when he realizes it is Kai. Except that Kai is also lying in his bed, tucked under his blanket. Sehun’s heart stops for a second as his eyes bounce from that Kai to the Kai, who standing on the side of the bed, miserably watching the Kai that is sleeping on the bed. Completely frozen, Sehun breathlessly stares at Kai with his blood running furiously cold.

For a minute, all that Sehun could do is grimly gawp at the nightmarish scene before his eyes in the dark. Then swallowing the wad in his throat, Sehun quietly pushes the blanket aside and sits up on the edge of the bed. He isn’t sure if he is dreaming, but almost all of him believes that it isn’t. He knows what this is.

His lungs burn as he struggles to breathe. When he rises to his feet, Kai does not look up at him. His entire concentration is on the sleeping Kai. Sehun crosses the gap between the beds and drops to one of his knees on the floor. He looks to Kai, who is sound asleep with an arm draped over his eyes. Sehun shifts his gaze to the standing Kai.

“What are you doing?” Sehun says in a low voice, but he doesn’t acquire Kai’s attention. “Kai?”

A tear rolls down Kai’s cheek as he watches himself sleep. A grip clenches Sehun’s heart.

“Kai,” he calls again, pushing himself up to his full height. He extends an arm, reaching out to the Kai standing on the other side of the bed. “Kai. Look at me.”

There is nothing that he could do. He could feel Kai’s struggle. There is a painful pang in his chest. Then Kai raises his head. His eyes do not look directly at Sehun, but it feels like he is staring right through him. With a blink, he vanishes and Sehun’s jaw slacks.

He takes a step back with a start when Kai stirs on the bed, pulling the arm off his face and flops onto his side. Licking his lips, Sehun raises a knee to the bed and leans forward. “Kai?” he whispers, clasping a hand to Kai’s arm. He gives it a gentle shake. “Kai!” he hisses with his heart thundering in his chest. An annoyed moan escapes Kai’s throat and he cracks an eye open.

“Sehun?” he mumbles in a hoarse voice.

Sehun finally lets out a sigh of relief. “Kai, wake up.”

“No,” Kai groans and tosses on the bed, clenching his eyes shut again.

“Wake up,” Sehun grunts, trying to yank Kai’s arm, but with an effortless tug, Kai does not only pull his arm back, he hauls Sehun down with it. “Kai!” he lets out a heavy breath, trying to get off the bed. “Get up. I have to—”

“You’re neither my boyfriend nor my husband. Why should I do anything you ask me to do?” he mutters and his sleepy voice is not helping the situation one bit.

Straightening up, Sehun clears his throat. “I saw you.”

Kai opens his eyes and blindly tries to locate Sehun in the darkness. “What?”

“You were standing right here.”

Kai pushes himself upright and stares at Sehun, drowsily fazed. “You mean…”

“Yes.”

Kai covers his face in his palms and scrubs it. “So it isn’t over.”

“But we already knew it isn’t.”

“Fuck,” he slumps back against the headboard. Sehun lowers to sit on Kai’s bed and tiredly slouches forward. “Sehun,” he utters under his breath and Sehun glances to him. “Do you… think one day I might just… get lost and not return?”

“I won’t let that happen, Kai,” Sehun glides a hand over the mattress and rests it atop Kai’s. Kai drops his gaze to their hands for a moment before looking up at Sehun again.

“God, now I don’t know how many times this has happened. What do I do when I’m… out of my body?”

Sehun shrugs with a heaviness on his shoulders. “Nothing, Kai. You just… stood there tonight. You didn’t do anything.”

Kai looks bothered. He retrieves his hand from Sehun’s to run it through his mussed hair. “What do I do when… Shit, I’m so confused.”

“Why am I the only who can see it?”

Kai cocks an eyebrow. “I really don’t know.” He scoots closer. “But you know, we can find out.”

“No, Kai, I’m not doing it,” Sehun says firmly and starts to get up before Kai catches his arm and forces him to sit back on the bed. Sehun obliges.

“Why?”

It is Sehun’s turn to cock an eyebrow. “ _Why_? Kai, I didn’t… sacrifice everything to just go back and see the people I care about suffer.”

“The people you care about are going to suffer either way, Sehun.”

“Everyone has a better life now.”

“ _Everyone_?” Kai’s eyes narrow.

“Oh, please. You had a horrible life and now you’re—”

“Living on rainbows, hugging unicorns?”

“That’s not what I—”

Kai sits up straighter. “You know what, Sehun? You always think that my life is so good.”

“I don’t think that.” Of course, he doesn’t. For God’s sakes, Kai is facing more problems than Sehun ever did. But for some reason, the older Kai was living a life that he did not want to live.

“No, you do,” he sighs. “That isn’t the issue right now. Sehun, what’s the worst thing that could happen if you went back?”

“Everything, Kai. And I don’t get it. Why are you so keen on it?!”

“Because I feel like I’ll go crazy, Sehun! And what bothers me the most is that every moment, I’m scared something will happen to _you_!”

Sehun’s breath hitches silently. He gapes at Kai with his face wilting direly. “Kai…”

“Arthur… _He_ said that he will kill you. And I’m scared to even go to sleep when you’re around. I… I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t, Kai.”

“I already did once, Sehun,” he clenches his jaw. “How could you actually bring yourself to be around me?”

Honestly, Sehun is just afraid, but he isn’t going to push Kai away for that reason. If anything, they should stick together right now. “Okay, calm down. Nothing has happened. You didn’t do anything. Let’s just think this through calmly, okay?”

“I have to do something,” he blurts out, rubbing his eyes on the hilt of his palms. “Shit. I’m sorry. Sehun, we shouldn’t sleep in one room.”

“Kai—”

“If it isn’t much trouble, can you bunk in with Chanyeol or Shixun?”

“I’m not going anywhere. You caught me off-guard that night. It won’t happen again.”

“Okay,” he lets out a humourless laugh. “Never thought this would happen. You… have to be on your guard around me all the time.”

“That isn’t—”

Kai shakes his head and lies back down on the bed. “If you won’t help, then I’ll find some other way.”

Sehun looks out the window and greets the night with a sombre lour.

“We’re not going to find any answers and we _will_ lose,” is the last thing Kai says before he falls silent.

Sehun clasps his hands together and hangs his head, gritting his teeth. “I thought you loved me,” Sehun breathes out and every second the silence stretches thereon makes his mouth drier.

“So?”

He glances to Kai and holds the older man’s dour gaze. “Then why would you just want me to… go back? To leave you? Are you that confident that I will come back or are you really that selfless?”

Perhaps his tone is harsher than intended, Kai’s expression hardens. “ _Selfless_.” He raises a knee and rests an arm on it. “Why do you think like that?” he asks with a tinge of anger.

“What do you mean?”

“It never even crossed my mind,” he spits, scowling harder. “Whatever that I do for you, I don’t think of a reason to do it. I don’t care about you because I have my reasons for it. I have never even thought of it like that. Would you ask your mother why she wants you to be happy?”

“But that’s my mother. I’m her son. That’s taken as read.”

“Oh, so what? I have to prove it to you that I love you without having ulterior motives? First of all, I want you to undo Grace’s fate so that we can contact Gwenna and find out whatever the fuck that’s going on. Secondly, no. I don’t think for shit that you will come back if things are good in that life. This isn’t about me being selfless and loving you without expecting anything in return. Trust me, I expect a lot of things in return. But I don’t have a reason to want to see you happy, Sehun. I just want it. For some fucked up reason, my whole life is revolving around that goal right now.” With an exhausted snarl, he falls back on the pillow and throws an arm over his face. “I want you to be happy. Period. Selflessness and expectations play no part in it.”

How could Kai confess something like that without feeling overwhelmed or burdened? Listening to every single word is like taking a dagger to the heart.

“How are you so sure that I… will be happy if I changed everything again?”

“Tell me a part of you… maybe all of you still doesn’t wanna know how things would have gone if you hadn’t altered Grace’s destiny.”

Sehun falls silent. Then when the moment has passed, he says, “You don’t really know me, Kai.”

“I know that you love him and you miss him and you’d give anything to go back to him. Even if it’s just for a second.”

Sehun swallows and it almost hurts his throat. “It’s not an option anymore.”

“It is. You know something? I realized… we both must love you equally. I mean, it’s you. And it’s us.” Kai chuckles lifelessly. “Funny. Sometimes I feel like you’re my destiny and boy, what I’d give for that to not be true.”

“You don’t want me to be your… destiny?” Sehun doesn’t know why it hurts him more than it should.

Kai is staring at the ceiling. “Don’t take me wrong. It’s just… the pain is sometimes too much for me to handle and I find it very emasculating,” he lets out a dry laugh.

“Kai… I need time. And maybe with it, I might… Things might work out between us.”

“Stop, Sehun. I’m tired. Not physically, but… You get the drill.”

They don’t utter another word for a long stretch of time and when Sehun finally gets drowsy again, he is reluctant to return to his own cold bed. His heart is filled to the brim with an agonizing sorrow. Kai is right. Sehun would give anything to go back even if it’s just for a second.

He looks to Kai, who has his eyes clamped tight, but Sehun knows he isn’t asleep. He picks on the hem of his t-shirt for a moment before he decides to lie down next to Kai on the bed. Kai stiffens behind him, but he doesn’t get up. They lay next to each other with Sehun’s back facing Kai and eventually, Kai adjusts the pillow to share it with Sehun before he pulls the blanket over them.

They need to get to Gwenna. Kai _and_ Sehun will not be able to rest until they’ve sorted this out. And God knows how long they have until the next storm strikes. The sooner they find out a way to solve this, the better.

Sehun’s thoughts are interrupted when Kai curls an arm around his waist from behind. He freezes and closes his eyes as Kai’s arm tightens, hand slithering down Sehun’s stomach. Sehun opens his mouth, but instead of a protest, only a raspy breath gushes out.

Kai presses his lips to the nape of Sehun’s neck and a soft moan flows out of Sehun’s mouth when Kai palms his crotch over the boxers, pinning his own hips on Sehun’s ass. A breath catches in his windpipe and Sehun’s neck burns where Kai’s lips have touched.

“Ugh,” Kai exhales, planting a kiss on the nape as his hand fondles Sehun’s quickly hardening cock, the fabric of the boxers creating beautiful friction.

Sehun doesn’t dare to turn around and meet Kai’s gaze, but even the image of Kai’s expression right now overwhelms him. He clenches his teeth and growls his moans into the pillow as Kai massages his cock. “K-Kai…” he finally gasps out, fisting the sheets.

It doesn’t take Sehun too long before he is edging his climax. He lets out a ferocious moan and reaches a hand back to grab Kai’s hair. Kai drags his lips along Sehun’s neck, breathing heavily as his hand sloppily, but effectively works on kneading Sehun’s cock. “Come for me, Sehun,” Kai whispers breathily, brushing his lips on Sehun’s ear. He does. He comes so hard that he couldn’t even bite back on his scream.

They lay still for a moment before Sehun finally turns around, but he doesn’t face Kai. He couldn’t. Because if he did, he knows he will want to give Kai so much more than this and right now, it isn’t fair. He can’t hurt Kai like that.

He buries his face in Kai’s chest and without any comment, Kai wraps his arms around him, holding him in place while Sehun gathers his breath. He lids his eyes and nuzzles between Kai’s collarbones. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Kai sighs, brushing his lips on Sehun’s forehead. “I’d rather you just use me than just push me away to be honest. Staying close to you is much better than staying away.”

Sehun’s hands fists Kai’s shirt in a bunch. “I’ll come back.”

Kai doesn’t reply. Sehun sucks in a deep breath and tries to concentrate on reversing Grace’s destiny. He doesn’t know where he’ll wake up. But he sure as hell hopes this will satisfy Kai. Both of them.


	31. Returned

It isn’t the hard mattress he is used to waking up on over the past few months. it is soft, but comfortable. That is the first thing that registers to his brain as his senses return to him in pieces. His face is buried in the pillow and his body is cocooned in a feathery duvet. The warmth of the sun is radiating on his back and with great effort he pulls his eyes open.

His dry throat is no help when he tries to swallow, eyes sleepily focusing on the chaise lounge. There is a sideboard against the white wall adjacent to the chaise lounge and a table topped by a vase full of flowers. Sehun shifts with a heaviness in his chest and his heart skips a beat when he sees the elaborate chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

He sits upright, propping himself on his elbows and glances around the rest of the room. He has never before even seen the room before and the extravagance of the room does little to comfort him. He is lying in a huge silken bed. Pushing the duvet aside, he swings his legs over the edge and stares at the windows. He gulps.

 _Did I do it?_ he wonders, scanning the room yet again. If he _did_ , what is he doing sleeping in a king-sized bed? Something churns his stomach and he feels the bile rising up his throat. “Shit,” he hisses under his breath and pushes himself up to his feet. Okay, so he has two arms, two legs. He is definitely alive. He drags his feet to the mirror and his eyes widen. His hair is short, but it is certainly longer than the last time Xiomara had cut it. That is not even the icing on the cake. His hair is greyish green. God, did he do this in his right mind? He runs his fingers through his hair and notices the chain around his neck. Rolling his shoulders back, he steps away from the mirror. Everything else seems to be fine. He makes his way to one of the two doors and yanks it open. It is a closet. There are all sorts of clothes, varying from casual to suits. He fishes out a t-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans. The other door leads him into the bathroom. He assumes the toothbrush is his and takes less than five minutes to wash up before he exits the room.

The hallway, however, is much familiar. A rough lump forms in his throat as he follows the hallway, which eventually ends at the top of a staircase. This is a crazy idea. But if it did work, then he might as well use this opportunity. _Remember, find Gwenna and go back._

But insofar, he is one piece and he is somewhere that looks like home. There isn’t a war, the world hasn’t ended and he isn’t locked up in some dungeon. Did he really reverse Grace’s destiny or did he make a mistake? He is pretty sure he did it right, but this doesn’t seem right. A part of him doesn’t want this to be right. If everything was going to be all right even if he didn’t alter Grace’s destiny, the fact that he did it at all will have no meaning and for the past few months, everything that he faced will be pointless.

And Kai. Oh, Kai. Sehun’s heart pounds harder when he thinks about Kai. The younger Kai, whom he left. Who will be waiting for him, even though he practically does not exist now. He made him a promise and he will go back. But why should he?

He slowly descends down the stairs and when he sees the entrance hall, he recognizes the place almost instantly. It’s Grace’s house.

 Clenching his fists at his sides, he wanders into another hallway. He shudders when he almost bumps into one of Grace’s Minders. He bows his head as Sehun struts past him.

What on earth is he doing here? Did Grace win the fight that night? Is he being held captive here? It doesn’t seem like it. Is Shixun here, too? Shixun. Oh, god, Shixun.

“Uh, wait,” he yelps at the Minder, who turns around at once. “Do you know where my mo—Grace is?”

The Minder gives him a dubious look and says, “Madame Grace is not here.”

“Do you know where she is?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh, okay. Um… Shixun,” he ends the question there, hoping to get something out of the Minder.

“I haven’t seen him. Maybe he’s not up yet,” he unconsciously points a finger upwards. Sehun’s heart jumps inside him.

“Thanks,” he mutters and hurries up the stairs again. He comes to a halt when he runs into an old man. It takes him a second to recognize the man. It’s the butler or whatever the man is supposed to be. Sehun gasps a little and the man stares at him, startled.

“Did you need something, young Master?”

_Young Master._

Sehun shakes his head. And then nods it. “I need Shixun.”

The butler arches an eyebrow. “Do you need me to get Master Shixun?”

“Um, yes. Now. Can you help me wake him up?”

After a moment of hesitation, the butler heads up the stairs and Sehun quietly tags along. When they reach a closed door, the butler raises his fist to knock, but Sehun stops him.

“No, uh, that’s fine. I’ll wake him up. You can leave,” he tells the butler, who pins him with a confused look. Sehun flashes a stern smile before the man treads away.

He thinks about giving the door a knock or two, but decides against it as it doesn’t really matter. He bursts into the room and shuts the door behind him. The room is just as exorbitant as the room Sehun had woken up in and Shixun is on the floor—doing push-ups, his shirtless body bathed in sweat. He stands to his feet, panting hard as his toned, thick chest muscles heaved while he pants for air. “Sehun,” he says, adjusting the chain around his neck.

“Shixun, oh god,” Sehun rasps and lurches forward to pounce on his brother. He tightens his arms around Shixun and for a moment, he doesn’t ever want to let go. This is Shixun. It isn’t like Sehun hasn’t seen Shixun in a while, but this is _Shixun_. The Shixun that doesn’t find him annoying. The Shixun that wants to be a brother to Sehun, that wants to be Sehun’s strength and had once expected Sehun to be his.

“What’s wrong?” Shixun asks, pulling back with his eyebrows furrowed into a concerned scowl.

Clasping his hands on Shixun’s shoulders, Sehun takes in a breath. “You have no idea how… happy I am right now.”

“Uh… okay… But you saw me last night,” he mutters confusedly.

“No. You don’t understand. Christ, I have a lot to tell you,” he glances back to the door and then to Shixun again. “Is it… safe for us to talk here?”

“Sehun, you’re freaking me out.”

“Sit.”

“It’s okay. Tell me what’s up.”

Sehun has his own set of questions, but he figures it would be simpler to tell Shixun his side of the story before asking his questions. “Do you know about my Destiny Manipulation Flair?”

Shixun scoffs. “The one that you once thought you had? The one that we all depended on and didn’t work?”

“No, no, god. It worked,” he gives Shixun’s shoulders a vigorous shake. “It worked, Shixun! I did change Grace’s destiny!”

Shixun falls completely silent as he stares into Sehun’s eyes as though Sehun is rambling like a madman. Then after a moment, he whispers, “What?”

“I swear! It worked. I changed her destiny and I changed our lives.”

Shixun finally sits down and scrubs his face with his hands. “I wanna believe you, but I’m still here, trying my best to stay optimistic about this shitty life.”

“I’d like to come back to that, but listen,” he drops to his knees before Shixun. “I did it, Shixun. We… you, everyone had a great life.” He elaborates on that for a few minutes until Shixun seems like he’s buying it. Sehun leaves out a significant proportion of the story, but he can narrate that to his brother when he has some time to kill. “But… something happened. Something bad. And now I had to reverse Grace’s destiny so that I can contact Gwenna again. Look, I don’t have much time. I can’t linger in this fate for too long because things will change in the other fate. I have less than 24 hours, Shixun.”

“What?” Shixun finally brings himself to say, although he looks a little breathless. “Why do you have to contact Gwenna?”

Sehun licks his lips, dropping his gaze for a moment. “Gwenna died. In the other fate. She is the only one who can solve our problems. But now I’m afraid… Is she… okay?”

Shixun looks pained for a beat. “She isn’t okay, Sehun. No one is,” he scowls. “You shouldn’t have undone anything, Sehun.”

“I had to, Shixun. But I will go back and I will make everything fine for you again.”

“I don’t get it. So… if you changed the destiny, then why do I still exist?”

“I don’t think you will if I re-altered the destiny. We can only exist in one dimension. That’s what Gwenna told me at least. Please, I have to meet her.”

“How? Grace has them all locked up.”

Sehun’s eyes bulge out. “Locked up?! Where?!”

“God, you really don’t know?”

“No. I don’t know anything that happened after the coronation, Shixun. What about Faiion? Wasn’t he able to stop Grace?”

“How could he?” he groans. “You should go back, Sehun.”

“I can’t, Shixun! Not until I get some answers. Come on,” he jolts up to his full height and hauls Shixun to his feet. “Get dressed. We’re getting out of here.”

“Sehun, we…” he trails off and Sehun waits for him to continue. “We surrendered, remember? Everyone did. We… we hurt people, Sehun.”

That makes Sehun limp. “What do you mean… we hurt people?”

Shixun rubs his temples. “We’re on her side now.”

“No, we’re not. How could you just… give up and be on her side?”

“Because she has everyone that we care about as her prisoners, Sehun. Whilst you might have a huge family that cares for you, I only have my father and… Kris. I can’t afford to risk their safety.”

Sehun lets out a heavy sigh. Just as he had feared. “You forgot me.”

A faint smile lurks on the corners of Shixun’s lips. “And you. But you have to leave, Sehun. Undo it now before Grace finds out about it. Before she finds out that about your Flair.”

Sehun grabs Shixun’s arm. “Shixun, I need to speak with Gwenna. I _need_ to see her. Kai is… he’s suffering. And I’m scared for him.”

“Kai,” Shixun echoes. “What happened to him?”

“Something is after him. I don’t have the time to give you the details. Please, if you don’t want to help me, can you at least tell me where I can find her?”

Shixun hesitates as he hangs his head. Then sucking in a breath, he grabs the t-shirt from the bed. “She keeps in them in the fort after she seized it, too.”

“Faiion’s Fort?”

“Yeah.” He pulls the t-shirt on. “I doubt we’d be able to get in, though.”

“I’m sure you know how to sneak in.”

Shixun shrugs. “Maybe. We’ll get into a lot of hot-shit if this goes south.”

“Sounds like your cup of tea.”

A smirk forms on Shixun’s lips and nods at the window. “Can climb down a pipe?”

“Does the bear shit in the woods?”

Sehun pushes the window open and climbs onto the ledge. He grabs onto the pipe and carefully slides down before Shixun follows him. Landing on the ground, Sehun glances around him. “How is Grace in the other fate?”

“Nice. World’s Best Mom,” Sehun says, frowning.

“It’s a pretty long walk,” Shixun leads the way into the grove that surrounds the house. “I can’t believe you actually did it.”

“Me neither.” Sehun couldn’t help but smile in spite of the sticky situation he is in. Maybe it’s because of the assurance that he can change all this in a split second. He is stupidly happy to see Shixun and excited to meet the others, nonetheless. It feels like he is finally home and he is about to see his family again.

Shixun breaks into a jog and Sehun follows, trying to keep up. His own body actually feels firmer and stronger with a steadier stamina. He definitely in a better shape and his lean body is lightly muscled. Shixun looks the same as well.

“Shixun, how are the others?”

“You mean, Kai?” there isn’t any humour in Shixun’s expression as they cease to a walk again.

“I mean, everyone,” but his heart skips a beat just thinking about meeting Kai again.

“I don’t know, Sehun. Not anymore. I haven’t seen them in months. When I last saw them, Kris was… almost dying. Kai fought until you surrendered.”

Sehun frowns. “And… Xiomara?”

Shixun offers him an apologetic glance. “They caught her as well.”

“She will never forgive me.”

“I don’t think anybody blames you, Sehun.”

“No one knows I actually changed Grace’s destiny.”

“Look, you get Gwenna. You get your answers. And you go back.”

Sehun nods his head. “Though you’re a pain in the ass in the other fate.”

“What?”

“Seriously.”

Shixun looks overly bothered by the information. “Like I’m not in this fate?”

“Uh… fair enough.”

“You’re grinning like a moron for someone walking into his funeral.”

“I know. I’m just so happy to see you.”

“I was there in the other fate?”

“Yeah, but… I was mostly non-existent in your life. You treat me like I’m invisible. So…”

“I sound like dick,” he says with cocked eyebrows.

“Nah. You’re not that bad. I just wished… we’d be closer.”

Shixun keeps mum, lost in his own thoughts as they course past the trees. Then he says, “Tell me more about the other fate.”

 

* * *

 

“Fuck,” Sehun hisses. Shixun heaves a sigh beside him as they stay hidden behind the rocks on the hill, giving the outside of the fort a onceover. Grace’s Minders are swarming the place with weapons and Restrainers. “How do we get in?”

“The citadel has a catacomb. There’s a door at the back that leads down to it. If we can distract the Minders,” says Shixun.

“That can be relative easy,” Sehun mutters and takes a step back. Then staring up the clear blue sky, he lifts a hand. A lightning splits the sky into halves before a ferocious of the thunder follows. It feels good to use the full power of his Flair after so long.

As soon as the raindrops bullet to the ground, soaking both Sehun and Shixun’s hair and clothes, the Minders scamper around, seeking shelter. “Come on,” Shixun rasps and frantically, but steadily scuttles down the hill.

When they reach the citadel and climb over the walls, Shixun grabs a Minder from behind and twists his neck until it snaps mercilessly. Sehun gapes at him, but Shixun doesn’t catch it as he hurries toward the trapdoor.

“You just killed him. Like it was nothing.”

“Yeah, so?”

Sehun gulps, wondering how many people they both had killed already and it makes him shudder. He just hasn’t witnessed much violence in a while.

“This way,” Shixun whispers, hauling the trapdoor open. Sehun scurries down the ladder and Shixun enters before he closes the door. “The oubliette is nearby. That must probably where she keeps them. You know she likes to be dramatic.”

Sehun takes note of the rat carcases and cobwebs adorning the catacomb as they wend their way out onto another unlit entryway. He is rain-kissed, but he barely notices the wetness seeped into his clothes and body while the rain rivulets trickle down his face. “What if they’re not here?”

“We’ll find them. Somehow. You need Gwenna.” Shixun understands Kai and Sehun’s plight. He also understands that almost everybody is having a good life in the other fate. He wants to help Sehun perfect it now.

Sehun’s stomach knots. He fears of what he might find here. He is dead scared for his family. Yixing, Jungkook, Donghae, Mark, Xiomara, Faiion, Gwenna and Kai, even Kris. Shixun told him earlier that he hasn’t seen Chanyeol or Heva and probably neither has Sehun.

“We can’t save them, Sehun,” Shixun says and his whisper echoes through the pathway to the dungeons. “Grace will find us and she will kill them all.”

“I know,” Sehun sighs.

When they finally reach the rusty gates of the dungeons, Shixun pushes it open. It makes an eerie squeaky noise, but not loud enough to attract attention. Sehun’s heart starts racing as his breath quickens. He presumes Shixun must feel the same way.

The dungeons are empty.

It is a knife to the heart. “What now?” he asks Shixun, who looks pretty stumped.

Shixun opens his mouth, but he shuts it when he hears the rattling sound of chains emitting from the far end. Then the sound of footsteps echoes into the dungeons. “Go. Check. I’ll take care of them,” Shixun assures Sehun before he runs in the direction of the source of the sound of the footsteps.

Sehun hurries to the end of the dungeons and his body freezes for a mere second when he realizes there is someone locked behind the bars, but the darkness makes the captive seem like nothing more than a shadow. The chains rattle again. Sehun retreats a step and raises his foot to the lock. He gives the lock a few merciless stomps until the five-bar gate gives in and unlocks.

He staggers into the cell and stops for a moment while his blood runs bitterly cold, but his ears and eyes burn. It’s Kai. All chained up in Restrainers. That instant, Sehun feels like he could die right now and he wouldn’t care.

It’s _Kai_. His Kai.

“Sehun?” Kai breathes out hoarsely, pushing himself up to his knees.

“Kai, oh my god,” he blurts out and crashes to the ground. He starts to tug at the Restrainers, but Kai grabs the sides of his face and there is nothing for Sehun to do except give in when Kai rams their hungry lips together as his hand slides around Sehun’s head to fist his hair.

Kai only pulls back when he tastes the salt of Sehun’s tears on his lips. He wipes Sehun’s tear-stained cheeks with his thumbs and leans in for a softer, gentler kiss. Sehun clenches Kai’s shirt and presses into the kiss, wanting to kiss Kai like it is the last time he’ll be able to do it.

When Kai withdraws for the second time, Sehun sniffles and Kai presses their foreheads together, hands clasping the sides of Sehun’s head. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here, Sehun?” Kai whispers, drawing away and frowning miserably.

“Long story short,” Sehun smiles with painful tears in his eyes. “I’ve missed you.”


	32. Hearts United

“Took you long enough,” Kai lets out a lifeless and exhausted snort. Sehun’s head feels as though it is floating mid-air. The lightness makes him dizzy. Kai is here. Right here, before his eyes, in his arms again. Except that the relief is not as strong and overwhelming as he thought it would be. He sees Kai. Just Kai. Not another version of Kai. Although his body and mind are reacting the way they should upon meeting Kai again, he just feels a little indifferent. Like Kai had never left in the first place. “I was expecting you,” Kai says, his rough hands cupping Sehun’s face.

Sehun closes his watery eyes as his eyelashes clump together and leans into the touch. “I missed you so much, Kai. Like crazy.” He throws his arms around Kai and buries his face in Kai’s shoulder. “It felt like nothing could make me happy anymore.”

“I was the same, Sehun,” he whispers coarsely, nuzzling his nose into Sehun’s hair. “You finally came.”

Sehun withdraws from the embrace and blinks the tears away. “I… didn’t come for you, Kai.”

Kai arches a brow. He looks unbelievably dirty—covered in muck, grit and maybe soot. He’s a mess. “Ouch?” he smirks, despite the fact that he is still in chains.

Sehun shifts on his knees. “No, no. Listen,” he takes hold of Kai’s shoulders. It feels somewhat weird, too. Kai is obviously older, but Sehun just got so used to the younger Kai that he wonders if he can treat _this_ Kai as his equal. There’s no time for all this brooding. “I came here for Gwenna.”

Kai stares at Sehun for a moment. “Uh…”

“Kai, I did it. I altered Grace’s destiny,” he whispers. Kai pins Sehun with a stoic, confused look. “I’m from… the other fate.”

“What?” Kai tries to take Sehun’s face in his hand.

“I don’t have time, Kai. I can’t stay for too long.”

“Whoa, stop. What are you talking about, Sehun?” he frowns.

“I came to look for Gwenna. Long story.”

Kai’s eyebrows furrow into a glower. “Well, she isn’t here.”

“I know. I already checked the cellars.”

“No, she isn’t _here_. Grace took her away.”

“What?” Sehun’s heart drops to the furthest pit of his stomach. “Gwenna’s not here?”

“No.”

“Where is she?”

“I have no clue, Sehun.”

Sehun palms his forehead and exhales a worn out breath. “Shit.”

What now? He could just go back. But this would have all been an unproductive effort and he needs answers. He needs answers for Kai. He has to at least try to help him. “Sehun, what is going on?” Kai demands.

Gritting his teeth, Sehun inspects the restraints Kai’s in.

“Hey, I don’t wanna ruin your moment,” Shixun exclaims as he surges into the cell. “But we gotta leave.” He shakes a bunch of keys.

Sehun glances back to his brother. “Where did you get that from?”

“Knocked out a guard. Not the issue right now. Come on.”

“Gwenna’s not here,” Sehun sighs.

Shixun looks stumped for a moment as he rubs the back of his neck and groans. “Of course, she isn’t.”

“What do we do now?”

“We can find her, Sehun,” Kai says. “She’s maybe in Gawlreng. Or somewhere close, I’m sure. Grace won’t keep her far away.”

Shixun is fidgeting and he starts to pace the cell. Footsteps can be heard, but they aren’t from anywhere close. “Right, come on.” He drops to the ground and fumbles with the keys to unlock the shackles around Kai’s wrists. When he is released, Kai rises to his feet and he almost staggers before Shixun curls an arm around Kai’s back and steadies him. “You okay?”

“Fine, kiddo,” Kai sighs tiredly, ruffling Shixun’s hair and pulls away from him. “Now, why are you looking for Gwenna?”

Sehun jolts up to his full height. “I’ll tell you, but let’s get out of here first.” He takes hold of Kai’s hand and hauls him out of the cell.

“What about the others?” Kai rasps. “We have to—”

“No, Kai. We can’t,” Sehun blurts out. “I only came for Gwenna. Please, I beg you to trust me.”

They come to a halt in the catacomb when they hear rapid footsteps. “Go,” Shixun urges them. “I’ll distract them.”

“What?” Sehun snaps. “No, we’re not leaving you.”

“Sehun, you need to find Gwenna, don’t you?” Shixun hisses under his breath. “ _Go_. Kai can take you.”

Kai is the one who speaks next. “Shixun—”

“Sehun _needs_ to find Gwenna. I’ll be fine, for god’s sakes. I’ve practically done this my whole life,” he winks and gives Sehun is light punch on the arm before he darts in the direction of the approaching footsteps.

Sehun looks to Kai as the older man firmly grips his wrist and they run for the trapdoor. When they are out, Kai almost grunts at the rain that immediately soaks him from top to toe. As they bolt to the hill with the rain bulleting the top of their heads, a Minder spots them and pulls the trigger.

The bullet only grazes Kai’s arm before Kai vaults forward, grabs the gun, spins around and plunges his elbow into the Minder’s face. He twirls around and stomps on the Minder’s chest, sending the man to the ground before he pulls the trigger of the snatched gun and dives a couple of bullets into the man’s chest. The storm muffles any noise of the struggle, which Sehun is glad for. He can’t waste time fighting here. “Come on,” Kai holds out the hand that is not gripping the gun and Sehun takes it before they run up the hill.

 

* * *

 

“You wanna explain?” Kai snaps as soon as they are in the mansion. He locks the front door, as though that would help. It’s Gwenna’s old mansion. Something aches in Sehun’s heart as he glances around the place. It is a mess in here. Almost everything is ruined, the evidences of the fight, which they all lost. Kai flicks the switch to turn the lights on, but it doesn’t work. He curses under his breath and tosses the gun onto the sideboard.

“Why are we here? Grace would find us here.”

“It’s called hiding in plain sight. And besides, we don’t have anywhere else to go. Not to mention I’m not going anywhere until I get everyone out of there.” His voice sounds stern and irritated. “Sehun!” he grabs Sehun’s arm and forces him to meet his eyes when Sehun starts turning around. “We could have saved them.”

He rummages through the drawers until he has found a lighter. He picks up the candles from the floor and lights them up.

“No, we couldn’t have, Kai. I didn’t come for them. I didn’t even come for you,” Sehun says, lowering his eyes. Parts of his body are burning, even though he is completely wet from the rain.

“What the fuck do you mean you didn’t come for us?!” he tugs at Sehun’s arm and Sehun winces a little when his grip tightens painfully. Kai releases his arm upon noticing the distressed look on Sehun’s face.

Sehun flumps on the bottom of the staircase to catch his breath. They had run all the way here and though Kai hardly seems affected by it, Sehun doesn’t have his stamina. “I told you, Kai. I changed Grace’s destiny. And everything turned out well. Until… until Gwenna died.”

Kai stares at him. Of course, Sehun had expected this reaction.

“Can you sit?” Sehun says. “Let me tell you everything.”

Kai takes his seat beside Sehun.

“I know you might not believe me,” he starts with a heavy breath. Kai slips his hand between Sehun’s clasped ones.

“When have I never believed you, Sehun?” he says in a gentle tone. Sehun meets his eyes and holds his gaze for a moment. Odd. Now that he sees it, he realizes it is the exact gaze, the exact eyes, the exact soul behind them. It is Kai. And Sehun had been seeing those eyes all this while. “What’s going on?”

“After I altered Grace’s destiny, I woke up… someplace else. Shixun was there. Everyone was there. Even Allis.” Kai’s eyes widen a little. “Yeah. I know her now,” Sehun smiles faintly. “Everyone was there except… Dee. Grace, my mother married Faiion and Gwenna was married to her former Champion, Dezmond.”

“You know Dezmond?” Kai blinks.

“Yes. Everything was… fine. Perfect. Everyone was happy, Kai. You… were there, too.”

There is no change in Kai’s bewildered expression. “I… was?”

“Yeah,” Sehun laughs. “We… we’re not… a thing, though.”

Kai frowns. “Why not?”

“It’s complicated. I’m here, I reversed Grace’s destiny because of you. It’s another long story. But we have someone after us and he is trying to hurt us. He… hurt Gwenna. And she died. I’m here now to find her so that I can ask her what we’re supposed to do.”

Kai rubs the stubble lining his jaw and sucks in a breath. “You did it…”

“I did it,” Sehun sighs. “I wasn’t going to come back. I mean, I wasn’t going to re-alter anything again. And I will turn everything back to normal, as soon as I find Gwenna.”

“So… you live a completely different life now?”

Sehun nods his head. “Yeah. And I must go back. I can’t… it’s not fair to anyone here. I can’t be… selfish.”

“Why do you think you’d be selfish if you stayed?”

Sehun stares into Kai’s dark eyes and raises a hand to a side of Kai’s cheek. “Because I want to be with you.”

Kai smiles. “I’m there in the other fate, too.”

“It’s not the same.”

“I’m sure I’d love you in any world, any fate, Sehun.”

Sehun’s heart skips a beat as his breath quickens. Oh, god. How could one man shatter all of his walls in a single second with a handful of words? “It’s not about you loving me, Kai,” he says miserably, keeping his eyes low. “It’s about… my feelings.”

Kai withdraws his hand and straightens up. “So you need to find Gwenna.”

“Yes,” Sehun states. “I can go back, but we’ll be helpless, then.”

Kai nods his head. “What happens when you go back?”

“I guess you… this world won’t exist.”

Kai looks confused. “Right. No two same dimensions can exist simultaneously.” He scrubs his face with his dirty hands and rises to his feet. “We’ll find her. We can find her. I didn’t pull her back from the Darkness Dimension after I had sent her there.”

“What?” Sehun blinks and stands up. “You didn’t?”

Kai shakes his head. “No, I didn’t get a chance. I can find her. In the Darkness Dimension. I’ll just need to focus.”

“You can do that?”

The corners of Kai’s lips quirk into a cocky smirk. “You underestimate the capabilities of my cursed Flair. Yeah. I can. I’ll have to step into the Darkness Dimension myself first for that and let’s hope that I don’t get lost. I need to regain my energy first.”

“Okay, okay. That’s great,” Sehun finally breathes easy. “All hope’s not lost, then.”

Kai nods, licking his lips. “First, I need some sleep.”

Sehun understands. Kai should rest before he would able to focus. Kai grabs one of the lit candles and starts up the stairs. “Kai…”

Kai comes to a stop to look back at Sehun. “What is it?”

“What did… Grace do? To you… She kept you… locked up.”

Kai hesitated for a moment. “She was experimenting with my blood. With the Snatchers.”

Sehun’s stomach knots painfully. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He drops to sit on the step again as Kai proceeds up the stairs. Sehun swallows, worrying about Shixun for a minute. He knows Shixun is fine, he doesn’t know why, but maybe it’s the bond that they share now, after the concatenation. He feels as though his heart beats in sync to Shixun’s. It is a consolation.

He can’t just wait here. What if Kai could not find Gwenna? Sehun needs to think of something. Where could Gwenna be? How can he find her? To come to think of it, he and Kai had actually thought this would be so simple and easy. This will be one hell of a story to tell Kai when Sehun goes back. Kai needs a good smacking on the back of his head.

Sehun smiles despite himself, but the smile quickly falters when he realizes he is here. He is here with _his_ Kai. This won’t last long. God, this might end before the night does. Something cold wraps around Sehun’s heart and he feels the tears burning at the back of his eyes.

He pushes himself up to his feet and slowly makes his way up the stairs. Everything in the hallways is either destroyed or knocked over. Sehun kicks past them with a sour lump in his throat. He finds the dim light of the candle flickering from a room. It is still day outside, but it is dark enough inside the mansion for him to stumble. The room seems to be in order with nothing disarrayed. He hears the shower running. Well, it is only fair for Kai to want to take a shower since he probably hadn’t showered in a while. Besides, he needs proper rest before he could put his Flair into work.

He is already pulling his t-shirt over his head when he enters the room. He undoes the fly of his pants and kicks them off before stripping down to nothing. His heart aches in an ocean of sorrow. If he leaves, _when_ he leaves, he will have to say goodbye again. And he is sure he doesn’t have the strength to do that. He’ll be crushed all over again. It’s better to just leave without goodbyes. But he wants this. He wants all these promises to hang between them. He wants there to be hope. He wants Kai’s body as much as he wants his love, his comfort.

It is partially dark in the bathroom. It smells of soap and hot water. Sehun pushes the shower cubicle’s door open and Kai turns his head halfway around with his hands pushing through his wet hair as water rivulets trickle down his bronzed, muscled back. Sehun’s breath catches when Kai turns to face him. The water from the showerhead cascades down Kai’s chest and abdomen. Sehun licks his lips and steps in.

His eyes give in and the tears start rolling down his cheeks as he brings his hands to the sides of Kai’s face and presses their lips tightly together. He clamps his teary eyes and lets out a trembling breath when their lips parted. It feels new. But it also feels familiar. Kai feels like home. He is home.

The water runs down Sehun’s face and body, between their lips, as their chests are pinned against each other. Kai latches his hands to Sehun’s hips and tilts his head a little before he kisses Sehun. The kiss heats up at breakneck speed and before Sehun even knows it, his back is slammed against the warm glass wall and his legs are wrapped around Kai’s waist while Kai’s hands grip the back of Sehun’s thighs. “Sehun,” Kai breathes out and suckles Sehun’s lower lip. Sehun clutches Kai’s hair and moans into Kai’s mouth when Kai rams his cock against Sehun. Not once, but again and again that Sehun begins to see stars every time their cocks collide. He wants to feel, taste every inch of Kai’s skin and he wants Kai’s mouth to touch all of him.

There is so much desperation in their kiss and when Kai breaks it, he does it with great disinclination. “Kai, ah,” Sehun lets out, arching off the wall and into Kai’s body when Kai’s lips travel down his neck. “Fuck me, please. Please, Kai. I want you inside me. Now.”

Kai raises his head and looks into Sehun’s watery eyes. “Sehun,” he lowers Sehun to the floor and cups Sehun’s cheek. “I love you. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” he rasps and surrenders submissively when Kai slams their mouth together and crushes Sehun’s lips under his. His hands glide all over Sehun’s body and they furiously claw into Sehun’s ass. Kai turns Sehun around and presses his front to the wall. Sehun braces himself with his palms on the glass as Kai grinds his hard dick between Sehun’s ass cheeks. Sehun doesn’t care if he is properly prepared or not. He wants to feel Kai inside him. He wants to feel the pain. He wants to be pierced, penetrated and destroyed.

Kai’s lips ravage all over Sehun’s shoulder and back, and when he grabs a handful of Sehun’s hair and yanks it back, a delirious moan escapes Sehun’s lips, followed by a gasp as Kai slides a finger into him. “Ah, oh, god, Kai.” He throws his head back on Kai’s shoulder and cries when Kai forcefully shoves another finger in. He pulls both fingers out and sucks on them, smearing them with spit before he inserts them back into Sehun’s aching hole.

Another tear trickles down the corner of Sehun’s eye as Kai whimpers into his ear, fingering Sehun with three fingers now. They knead the soft insides, curling around nerves until the shower cubicle is filled with Sehun’s sensuous moans.

Kai pulls Sehun to turn around before he hoists Sehun up again. Enveloping his legs around Kai’s waist, Sehun plunges his tongue into Kai’s mouth and as their tongues swirl around one another, abusing their lips, Kai carries Sehun out of the shower and to the bed.

Regardless of the wetness they are both covered in, they burn against each other. Kai drops Sehun on the bed and drags his wet lips down Sehun’s chest. He only pauses to suck on the pink nipples before he licks the water beads down Sehun’s stomach. Sehun fists the sheets and raises his knees as Kai loops his arms under his thighs. “God,” Sehun gasps when Kai’s hot tongue teases his leaking slit and licks off the precome. His hands reflexively grab Kai’s hair when Kai sinks in.

Sehun has to bite his tongue and clench his eyes to refrain himself from coming as the tip of his cock slams into the back of Kai’s throat. Kai pulls back and leaves sloppy wet kisses on Sehun’s thighs before he folds Sehun’s legs forward. With his knees now pinned to his own shoulders, Sehun’s mouth goes dry and his throat is sore due to the uncontrollable moans. He can scream as loud as he wants and no one but Kai will hear him.

Kai’s tongue slithers along his opening and Sehun shudders before he starts chanting Kai’s name like a prayer to save his life. The tip of Kai’s tongue pushes through the opening and he tongue-fucks the hole for a good while until Sehun could not even think anymore. “Kai, fuck me,” he whimpers, eyes flinging open.

Kai gives the puckered hole one last suck before he lowers Sehun’s legs to the bed and crawls forward to kiss Sehun full on mouth. He thrust his tongue into Sehun’s mouth, planting himself between Sehun’s legs. He strokes their cocks together, grinding their hips mercilessly. Sehun needs air, but he doesn’t want to breathe either. “I want to come inside you so bad, Sehun,” Kai breathlessly pants into Sehun’s mouth, pounding his crotch against Sehun’s. “And I want to look at your eyes when I’m doing it.”

Sehun locks his legs and arms around Kai. “Please… please, now.”

Kai doesn’t let him beg any further. Lips sealed, body penetrated, hearts united.

* * *

 

(A/N) Hey, guys. So I wrote another jongkai, so jongkai shippers, go check it out!  ;) **[StarKissed](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8052094)**


	33. Unbosoming of Promises

He hadn’t planned to fall asleep, but when he wakes up, he barely has the energy to even manage a groan of frustration. The room is darker than before he nodded off in Kai’s arms, though there are some lit candles melting on the table in the corner. His body is sore beyond comprehension, but it is a discomfort he welcomes with both arms open. It is the only form of pain he allows himself to cherish. He wants to remember every ounce of the pain and every beautiful bruise on his body to remain forever. He smiles to himself, keeping his eyes close and shifts on the bed, under the duvet. His lower half of the body throbs and he licks his lips, casting his mind back to some hours ago when Kai was fucking him into the sheets, allowing him even a second to catch his breath. Their mouths had been all over each other’s bodies, discovering all their sensitive parts. When Kai had come inside him, Sehun had felt full, complete and whole.

He must have been asleep at least for a couple of hours and Kai’s heat is no longer radiating on his back. The bed feels empty. Sehun stirs and flops on his other side only to find that Kai isn’t there. His heart clenches and stomach flips. Then the door creaks open.

Kai steps in, clad in a pair of clean jeans, which must belong to either Mark or Yixing, or maybe Donghae, but they’re definitely not Sehun’s. “Oh, you’re awake,” Kai says, smirking as he walks in with a couple of beer cans and a bag of chips in his hands. “Found them in the pantry. I don’t think they’ve expired.”

Sehun props himself up on his elbows and helplessly grins at Kai, who settles on the bed beside him. Kai’s hair screams sex and so does his beautiful body. He even smells like sex. He smells like _Sehun_.

“What?” Kai asks, catching Sehun staring at him.

Sehun shakes his head. “Nothing.” He sits up and cups the back of Kai’s head, stroking the hair there. Kai, smiling, takes hold of the side of Sehun’s waist and leans in to press a kiss onto Sehun’s dry lips. Sehun’s fingers tighten around Kai’s hair as Kai deepens the kiss, almost shoving Sehun back down on the mattress. “I don’t think… I can,” he breathes out when Kai’s hand begins to crush Sehun’s hipbone.

Kai retreats at once with a smirk playing on a corner of his lips. “Was I… too hard?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, old man,” Sehun scoffs and sits upright again before snatching the bag of chips.

“No, I’m serious,” Kai sighs, nuzzling into the crook of Sehun’s neck. Sehun freezes as Kai rests his head on his shoulder, hand gently stroking his waist. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

“No, Kai. I’m not. I love you. You can never hurt me.”

Kai raises his head to cup Sehun’s face and softly kiss his lips. “I couldn’t hold myself… I’m sorry.” His thumb lightly brushes Sehun’s cheekbone.

“Good. ‘Cause I didn’t want you to.” He pecks on Kai’s lips. “Did you… find Gwenna?”

Kai straightens up with a frown. “I didn’t, Sehun. But… she’s there. I can feel it. I just couldn’t find her. I’ll try again.”

Sehun lets out a heavy breath. “So she’s alive, right?”

“I think so. Besides, Grace wouldn’t just kill her.”

“Where would she be keeping Gwenna, then?”

“Somewhere dramatic,” Kai shrugs, tearing the bag of chips. “Somewhere we won’t try to look for.”

“You need to find her, Kai.”

“You know, you sound cockier now.”

Sehun arches a brow and accepts the beer can Kai offers. “I do?”

“Yeah,” Kai chuckles. “I mean, you always have been disrespectful, but now you just… god, I recall how demanding you were a while ago. Is it something you picked up in the other fate? You sure do order me around now.”

Sehun feels the blood rush to his cheeks. He slips a potato chip into his mouth. “I think it’s because you’re younger in the other fate. And you’re aggravating.”

“Younger?” Kai’s eyes widen.

Sehun loudly munches on another chip and takes a sip of the bitter beer. “Yeah. You’re only a year older than me. Here’s the kicker. We’re roommates. God, I swear. You are the most frustrating boy I’ve ever come across in my life. I often want to drop a big ass rock on your head when you’re sleeping.”

“Yep, that does sound like me,” Kai looks incredibly astonished as he sits up straight and blankly blinks at the wall. “Wow.” He seems to have been lost in his own thoughts for a moment as Sehun fills his stomach with chips and beer.

“But you’re not all bad,” Sehun finds himself to be thinking about the other Kai, reminiscing the _good_ moments they shared. It makes him smile faintly. “You’re just childish. With a good heart. A kind soul. You have an ear piercing and tattoos, too. You hide a lot of things. I think you build too many walls, so that no one will ever see your vulnerable side. You’re young… and very dumb at times. Your jokes are often rude, but everyone likes you. I… can only _act_ like I don’t like you. And I know it hurts you… I…” he closes his eyes for a moment and when he opens them, Kai is staring at him.

“You love me,” Kai says, smiling.

“Of course.”

“No, I mean… the other me.”

Sehun blinks at him. “No… No, I don’t. I can tolerate you now. And yes, I definitely care—” he is cut off when Kai shuts him up with his lips. The kiss is playful and brief, but it leaves Sehun lightheaded as always. “Kai.”

“I couldn’t have asked for more, Sehun,” he whispers, pressing his lips to Sehun’s cheek. “You have no idea how hard I wished every single day that I had met you before Ren. That I knew you back then. That you had been born several years earlier and that I had fallen in love with you first. Would have saved me a whole lot of hell and pain.” He pulls back and looks into Sehun’s eyes. “We probably would be married and have a couple of kids of our own by now.”

Sehun’s heart skips a beat. “Kai… please, don’t,” he breathes out, pinning his hands to Kai’s chest.

“No, no. Listen,” he takes Sehun’s face in his hands. “Sehun, I would give anything to live a life with you. A full, happy life without all these complications. And now we can.”

“It’s not the same, Kai,” Sehun frowns. “He is… you. But it isn’t the same. I love _you_ and I want all that, too. But with _you_.”

“I’m too damaged for you, Sehun. I would kill to start anew and _not_ do all the mistakes that I did. I want to be with you. Look at me, Sehun.” Sehun brings his eyes up. “I love you. And I can assure you if I had met you many years back, I would have fallen in love with you just as hard. Soulmates, remember?” he smiles. “So don’t ever doubt my love for you. I don’t have anything to live for anymore, but you. Now I have the chance to build a life with you.”

“Kai, you don’t get it.”

“Why, Sehun?” Kai holds him close, almost pressing their lips together. Sehun sucks in a sharp breath and blinks the tears away. “I know how I am when I was young. Was I really that repulsive that you can’t love me?”

“It’s not about not loving the other you, Kai. It’s about already having given _you_ my heart and there’s no room for anyone else.”

“We’re the same person.” Kai says, drawing back. “I need you to at least try to believe that, okay?”

Sehun nods, letting out a sigh. “I’m so surprised you’re very… excited about this.”

Kai flashes a lopsided grin as he takes a long swig of the beer. “Imagine us in 30 years. In the other fate, I mean. We’ll be growing old.”

“ _I’ll_ be growing old,” Sehun scoffs. “I can see that you’d still look amazing.”

“I’m not 50, Sehun,” Kai fakes a scowl and empties the beer can. Sehun immediately thinks about the younger Kai.

He draws in a breath. ““This is a horrible breakfast.”

“Don’t whine, kid. It’s what I could find that’s not either rotten or half-eaten by the rats.”

“Kai, I can’t stay for too long.”

“Will you be a day late?”

“Or I could go back a day earlier. I don’t know how the timeframe works. Gwenna promised she’ll help me work on it, but she…” he sighs. “We have to find her.”

Kai bows his head and leans back against the headboard. “I’m gonna try again.”

Sehun gets out of bed and heads to the bathroom to clean himself up. They are lucky there is still some water left, but it will run out eventually. He takes a very brief shower and slips into his clothes before stepping out. He finds Kai still on the bed with his head in his hands. “Kai?”

Kai lifts his head, looking incredibly tired. “Fuck,” he hisses under his breath, rubbing his eyes to the hilt of his palms.

“You okay?”

“It’s difficult. It still is.” He looks both frustrated and angry.

“What is?”

“The darkness.”

Sehun wordlessly stares at Kai for a moment. “You’re… still bothered by the darkness?”

“Yeah. How do you know I… oh,” he licks his lips. “Of course. You’d know. Did I tell you?”

Sehun nods his head. “Something like that. You have a lot of nightmares.”

“I did. It was so much worse when I was young. I had no control over it and all the shit that came with it.”

Sehun takes his seat on the bed and rests a hand on Kai’s shoulder. “It’s okay.”

“You have to find Gwenna.”

“Maybe Grace keeps her somewhere obvious. Like you said. Hiding in plain sight.” He thinks about for a moment. “Is there somewhere sentimental to Gwenna and Grace?”

“Well, they’re your mothers.” Kai shrugs and Sehun sneers at him.

He strains his brain, wondering if Grace has a getaway spot. There’s the family mansion, but he doubts it exists here. The country house. And then it strikes him. He jolts up to his feet. “I know where she could keep her,” he gasps. Kai cocks an eyebrow. “Gwenna once showed me this place. This house where they used to live as children. Where Grace was locked up for most of her life. She pined for Gwenna’s life, while she was held captive in her room. It would make sense if she brought Gwenna there.”

“Are you talking about the abandoned summer house?”

“What?”

“My mother brought me and my brothers there once. She told me the four them always hung out there until Gwenna and Faiion started dating.”

“So you know where it is?”

“Not really. It was years ago.” He is already climbing out of the bed. “But we can find our way.”

Sehun agrees and they hurry out of the room. Kai grabs an oversized t-shirt from another room before they wend their ways downstairs. The cars are still in the garage, which makes things a lot easier.

“The keys,” Sehun sighs. “We can’t find them in that mess.”

Kai smirks and plants a kiss in Sehun’s temple. “They’re not locked, and that’s good enough. Get in.”

Sehun does as he’s told and slides into a car. Kai jumps in the driver’s seat and Sehun watches him with great intent as Kai yanks out the wires under the board. “You can hotwire a car?” he rasps with ballooned eyes.

The engine revs and Kai buckles his seatbelts, gesturing Sehun to do the same. “Who is after you? And why do you think Gwenna can solve your problem?” he asks, as though to spark a conversation, pulling the car out of the garage.

Well, Sehun supposes he’s telling Kai everything after all. “We think it’s Grace and Gwenna’s father. His soul at least. It’s hard to explain. He’s been trying to hurt us and he’s the one who… killed Gwenna. His Flair is Dark Astral Projection, so he can just snatch souls. He’s doing that to you. When you go to sleep sometimes, you don’t wake up and you… roam around. Your soul roams around. I saw you. Your soul. He’s going to hurt you. That’s why we need Gwenna.”

Kai steps on the break and Sehun lurches forward as the car comes to an abrupt halt. For a long stretch of moment, Kai aimlessly stares ahead with his jaw slacking.

“Kai?” Sehun mutters, bringing a hand to Kai’s knee. “What is it?”

“Sehun… You… saw me… my _soul_ when I was right there?”

“Yes. Why? Kai… do you know something?”

Kai sucks in a deep breath, eyes clamped close. “Shit… Sehun, no one’s after you,” he flutters his eyes open and pins Sehun with a miserable look. “Oh, god. There’s no one… It happened to me. When I was young. I was the… I did it. It’s me. It’s the other… _thing_ that I accidentally created in the darkness.”

Sehun isn’t sure he heard him right. “What are you talking about? No, Kai. I don’t think you understand—”

“I’m getting tired, don’t I? I space out. When I fall asleep, I get lost in the darkness and the other guy takes over. Fuck, Sehun. You have to go back right this instant and take me to Allis. Don’t ever tell me that it’s _me_. Let me believe what I believe now.”

Sehun could only blink in a frenzy as he gapes at Kai. “What the hell is going on?!”

“Listen!” Kai takes his hands. “Gwenna can’t do anything to help. But Allis can. She was the one who helped me before. Sehun, you have to return _now_. Don’t let me lose myself to the darkness.”

“Kai, I don’t get it,” he pants, fisting Kai’s shirt in a bunch. “What are you saying?”

“If you don’t get rid of the other guy, you’re going to lose me, Sehun. It’s like this character that I created. In my head. But he is _real_. He is fucking real. And he is dangerous. I need you to be my strength, be my light. Don’t let him win over me.”

_‘Sometimes, you need not fear your weaknesses. Embrace them. And your fears will fear you. Let the speck of light guide you through your darkness.’_

“Do you understand? What made me think it was someone else that’s after me?”

“I might have… suggested it.”

“God. That explains it. No, Sehun. _I_ am after myself. You need to go to Allis.”

“But why… Why are you trying to hurt us? Why… what, Kai, it doesn’t make any sense!”

“I know,” Kai clasps his hands to the sides of Sehun’s face. “Listen carefully. Something must have happened for me to trigger the darker side of me. He is a totally different thing. He’s not me and you need to believe that.”

“No!” Sehun shoves Kai’s hands off. “You’re not making any sense.”

“Jesus Christ!” he grabs Sehun’s face again and smashes their lips together. He kisses Sehun until there is no breath left for both of them. “You should have told me this first. You need to make sure that I… don’t know or I will end up hurting you, Sehun.”

“Kai—”

“I love you, but I want that life with you, Sehun. I want to be able to live a perfect, complete life with you,” he smiles, although tears are sheening in his eyes.

“Kai, no—”

“Two kids, no more.” Kai pulls him into a feverous kiss again and this time, Sehun couldn’t find the strength to resist. A tear trickles down the corner of his eyes as he weakly kisses Kai back. “I love you.” He kisses both Sehun’s eyes and then the lips again. “I need you, Sehun. In the other fate more than in this.”

“Please, don’t make me go…” Sehun drops his face onto Kai’s shoulder to sob into it. “Not yet. Maybe we should get to Gwenna. Maybe she—”

“Do you trust me, Sehun?”

That is all that Kai needs to say to destroy all the fight Sehun has left in him. “I do, Kai.”

“Then trust me when I tell you I will do anything for a life with you. Go back to me. And give me a chance.”

Sehun clenches his eyes shut and leans into the embrace, burying his hand in Kai’s hair. “I will. I will.”


	34. Looking After Number One

With a vicious scream of anguish, he jolts up and gasps in an exhaustive breath. His body trembles as his throat cries for a drop of water. It takes Sehun a moment to swallow the brightness of the room. His room. In FLAC. But he isn’t in his bed for that it stays vacant on the other side of the room. In an uncontrollable frenzy, he sucks in several breaths to calm his pounding heart.

It feels like he has woken up from a really good dream, but at the same time, he feels as though he has returned to a nightmare.

However, as soon as the warm member snakes around his back, he freezes and clenches his eyes shut for a moment to calm his breathing. He had not wanted to say goodbye to Kai again, so he didn’t. And now, his heart is all but shattered, waiting for someone to pick all the pieces up. All over again.

“You okay?” comes a hoarse, half-sleepy voice from behind. Sehun musters up the courage to turn his head and glance over to Kai, who is lazily blinking his half-hooded eyes. Sehun gulps hard. They are fully clothed, which Sehun is suddenly grateful for. But were they cuddling in a bed all night?

He’s back. He has left Kai for the second time. He has left the life that he will never stop pining for. He didn’t even get the chance to meet Xi or the others, or say goodbye to Shixun. He didn’t, because he has to be here for Kai. For what Kai wishes. It is the only thing Kai has ever asked of him. How could Sehun not give the man he loves the one thing he asked? Kai deserves a second chance at the life he had once lost.

But there is a more serious matter at hand, which he must attend first. Kai had refused to elaborate on him having created another personality in the Darkness Dimension and at the moment, it makes just about zero sense to Sehun. Kai had begged him to seek for Allis’ help and Sehun plans on doing just that. As soon as he comes up with an excuse to convince Kai to pay her a visit.

“Fine,” he lets out, running a hand through his hair, which is back to its longer length. He glances out the window, wondering if he had even missed a day. From the looks of it, he is probably several hours behind. He is still clad in the t-shirt he was wearing before he went back to the other fate. Kai still has that exhausted, lusting look about his face. Something tells Sehun that one day he is going to have to pay big time for messing with the timeline and universes or whatever it is.

Kai sits up and yawns, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth. He, then checks the time on the wristwatch resting atop the bedside table. “We still have an hour,” he drops his head back on the pillow, but keeps his languid gaze on Sehun. “Did you have bad dreams or something?”

Sehun pushes himself off the bed. It is Kai. It is the same Kai. Except with an ear-piercing, a wild hair and whole set of insufferable attitudes. It is Kai.

Except that it isn’t.

He flumps on his own bed, which is cold under his palms when he grips the edge of the mattress. Kai wanted Sehun to give him a chance. He cannot love this Kai thinking that they are the same. He cannot convince himself of that. If he were to give this Kai a chance, he’d have to genuinely fall in love with him and completely give himself to him. And for that to happen, he needs to move on. And that isn’t the least of his problems.

When he looks up, he finds Kai staring at him with his head propped on his hand and elbow on the pillow. A shudder runs down Sehun’s spine when he recalls seeing an image Kai standing right here in this very room as Kai slept right before his eyes. So was that? Kai or the personality he had created? What if Kai was wrong? What if it is Arthur or someone else that is after them? The tombstone. The library. The so-called earthquake. How powerful can this darker ego of himself be? It terrifies Sehun to even think that Kai could possibly harbour that much of dark power, all derived from the energy of the darkness, which his Flair feeds on. How uncontrollable and invincible would Kai become if he had access to the full potential of his Flairs? It explains so much why everyone held such high respect and fear for him in the other fate. There would be no doubt he will be one of the strongest Recherchés, perhaps even the strongest of them all.

But Kai doesn’t even know he has that potential. He is completely unaware of having created something that appears for the darker part of him. How stupid of Sehun to think it was Arthur that was after them…

“If you’re silently ogling me, do inform me, so that I can take some pleasure from it,” Kai says, snapping Sehun out of his school of deep thoughts.

He shakes his head, unable to entertain Kai’s humour at the moment. “When did we… play chess?”

Kai sits upright with a cocked brow. “You mean, when I beat your ass and shut your smart mouth?”

“Was it last night?” he doesn’t receive an answer from Kai, only a dubious look. Letting out a troubled sigh, Sehun rises to his feet. He is clad in his boxers, which reminds him of the little moment of weakness he shared with Kai… last night. It makes his breath catch in his throat. He looks to Kai again and bets that it is all the bastard is thinking about right now. God.

When Kai finally tears his gaze from Sehun’s exposed thighs and fixes it on Sehun’s face, he says, “You seem to be having some sort of an episode. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Do you… do you remember what you said last night?” Sehun asks in a breathy whisper.

Kai exhales heavily and pushes his thick hair out of his forehead. “I said a lot of stupid, soppy bullshit, I know. No need to punch a man when he’s at his weakest,” he scoffs and starts to get off the bed.

“No, no. I mean, about… going back to the other fate to find Gwenna.”

“Yeah. Have you… thought about it?”

 _Thought about it?_ He had gone back, seen his brother, slept with his lover and learnt some pretty horrid things about him. So Sehun is indeed several hours early. It’s probably better that Kai doesn’t know any of those stuff.

Sehun shrugs. “I’ll think about it.”

Kai smiles and jumps to his feet. “Great.” He grabs a fresh pair of jeans and walks into the bathroom. Sehun settles back on his bed and drops his head in his hands.

_“You still haven’t figured it out? Why my own children locked me up in a tombstone? Oh, I will have my revenge. Now, that little Gwen is out of the picture, no one can get into my mind and stop me. I can’t rip your soul from your body, Sehun. But I won’t need to. Soon, you will be left all alone that you’d want nothing more, but to die. Once I’ve regained my full power, I won’t be scavenging for his body.”_

Sehun’s head snaps up and he vacantly blinks. He had heard it. He was there when the so-called earthquake happened. With Kai. It wasn’t Kai, was it? How could it be? He said his _children had locked him up in a tombstone_. But he also said that once he’s regained his full power, he won’t be needing his body. Unless… What if it were Kai and Kai was simply using the opportunity to convince Sehun _and_ himself that it was Arthur? To create a show? Which would allow him to roam more freely if Kai doesn’t try to contain the darker personality.

Allis. Allis would have the answers. For now, Sehun knows that Kai is in more danger than himself.

When Kai exits the bathroom dressed in just his skin-tight jeans with a towel to dry his wet hair, Sehun nervously smiles. How can he be subtle? Kai had told him to never tell this Kai about the dark personality he has created under any circumstance probably because it will put them both in greater danger. So Sehun will have to tiptoe around the topic. Maybe he can ask Shixun about where Allis lives. Or Kris. But he is darn sure Kris will say something to Kai.

“You sure are staring a lot today,” Kai snorts, tossing the towel onto the bed before he fishes a grey long-sleeved t-shirt out of the wardrobe and pulls it on.

Sehun clears his throat and gathers a set of new clothes to change into before he wends his way to the bathroom.

“Hey,” Kai calls out of the sudden. “You wanna… get some breakfast with me before class?”

Sehun blinks at him for a moment and then nods. “Sure.”

 

 

Sehun probably does not know what his eyes often do to Kai’s chest. It hurts. So bad. But at the same time, it is the best feeling ever. Every glance that Sehun spares for Kai alone makes every horrible thing in life easy and less horrible. Plainly said, Kai wants to die while looking into Sehun’s eyes. That’s how beautiful they are. That’s how powerful and merciless his gaze is.

He seems to be lost in his own thoughts as they make their way to the feast hall. Kai isn’t complaining, though. He likes watching Sehun like this. When he isn’t being a total pain in the neck or listing down all the horrible things about Kai. He usually looks like he has a lot on his mind, but he is extra unfocused today. Which is, again, a good thing. Because he doesn’t seem to notice Kai staring at him or mentally kissing the shit out of him ever since they had walked out of their room. God, that frown, that pout, that worried expression. If only Kai could kiss all of them away.

Perhaps he is thinking about what they had talked about last night. Or just generally about last night. The strip chess, the spontaneous handjob and consequent cuddling, and of course the eerie appearance of his soul, which had freaked Sehun out. Then the request for Sehun to go back to the other fate. Kai wants him to do it. But a huge part of him wishes that Sehun wouldn’t. And all of him wishes that Sehun would not choose to go back to the other bloody Kai.

He wants Sehun for himself. All of Sehun. Yeah, he’s selfish, he’s stingy and all of him is for Sehun, too. He will never be able to share Sehun’s love with anyone, but unfortunately for him, Sehun’s love is for someone else. So the least Kai could do is to encourage him to be happy and do whatever that will make him happy. Even if it means he has to give Sehun up to someone else.

However, that isn’t to say he is simply surrendering. Hell, he’d fight the other man if he had to, but he couldn’t exactly beat the shit out of himself, can he? His older self, which Sehun loves, at least. It’s stupid, but Kai really wants to bash the other Kai with a pillowcase filled with bricks. If only he could…

They pass some students in the corridors, but Sehun is too deep in his thoughts to even bother to return their greetings. Kai licks his lips and rubs the back of his neck, glancing to the lawn. The autumn breeze is refreshing.

He swallows when his knuckles brush Sehun’s. Sehun doesn’t seem to notice that either. He is too busy avoiding bumping into people and pillars. Kai feels ridiculous. He had Sehun’s cock in his hand last night. Why is he so nervous to hold Sehun’s bloody hand?! He feels like a dumb schoolboy trying to hit on a dumb schoolgirl that’s too dumb to realize he wants to bang her blind in one of the supply closets.

Sehun’s eyes sharply dart to Kai in a shock when Kai slowly and hesitantly laces their fingers together. Then he yanks his hand away like he is stung by a bee. Kai plunges his hands into the pockets of his jeans and clenches his jaw.

“Good. That snapped you out of whatever that’s running in your mind,” Kai mutters, failing miserably to hide his disappointment.

“I was thinking,” Sehun says.

“Ah, that’s a first.” His chuckle dies when Sehun starts to scowl. “Okay, okay. Kidding. You know, you’ll get wrinkles if you frown so much.” He playfully curls an arm around Sehun’s waist at the back and Sehun jumps, shoving him away before he looks around them. “Easy, princess—”

“Hey!” His snarky comment is cut short when he hears the howl in the corridor. He glances back to see someone jogging up to them. He immediately recognizes the blonde man. It’s the warden’s son. In the daylight, he looks even more beautiful. It’s surreal. For a Pootle, that is. “Hi,” he rasps, drawing in rapid breaths as his chest heaved. Kai arches an eyebrow at him.

“Hi.”

The guy runs his hand through his beautiful fair hair and hands Kai a cup of coffee. “I was hoping I’d run into you today. Here.”

Kai accepts the cup and smirks. “Thanks. Ren, was it? A coffee to make up for an irremovable stain on my favourite shirt. That’s a nice gesture. But I don’t fraternize with Pootles.” He takes a swig of the lukewarm coffee and turns on his heel to walk away. But something inside him stirs. For some odd reason, he wants Ren to stop him and say something rude.

“I didn’t catch your name,” he hears the man say. Smirking wider, Kai turns to face him.

“I never told you my name.” He shrugs and proceeds toward the feast hall. He comes to a halt when he realizes Sehun is no longer at his side. He takes another sip of the sweet coffee and looks back to see Sehun glaring at Ren like a maddened kitten, all up for a fight with an Alaskan Malamute. “Oi. You coming?”

Sehun has his lips snap shut and jaw locked as he spins around. He stomps over to Kai and out of the blue, grabs Kai’s t-shirt by the chest, fisting it in a bunch before yanking it close. Kai stumbles forward and for a second, he thinks he might pass out. Sehun’s lips are so warm and soft against his own. Kai’s heart feels like it has stopped as he latches a hand to the side of Sehun’s waist while Sehun presses their lips tight together.

Then releasing the t-shirt, he shoves Kai back and furiously marches away with his hands rolled into fists at his sides. Kai, lightheaded and in a faze, glances to Ren, who is simply staring at him. Licking his lips where the taste of Sehun’s lips still lingered, Kai hurries after Sehun.

“What was that?” he asks, truly confused.

“What was what?” Sehun snaps without bothering to look at Kai.

Kai swallows. “Uh… Why do I have a feeling… that you’re angry about something?”

Sehun shakes his head and walks into the feast hall. He stops for a second and stomps back to Kai. He snatches the coffee cup from Kai’s hand and chucks it into the trashcan before proceeding to the table where Chanyeol and Baekhyun are seated at.

Yeah, he's definitely angry about something. Kai scratches the back of his head and walks over to Kris, who is plating food from the counter.


	35. Full of Beans

“Are you getting anything?” Kris mumbles, diverting Kai’s attention.

“Huh?” Kai blinks, rubbing the nape of his neck and drops his gaze to the crepes on his brother’s plate. “Oh, yeah.” He grabs himself a plate and turns his head halfway around to glance at Sehun, who looks like he is listening to whatever that Baekhyun is saying, but the absent expression on his face suggests that his mind is elsewhere. Was Sehun trying to pull a stunt like Kai had that day in the feast hall? But it doesn’t make sense. Unless he wanted that warden’s kid, who was being nothing but nice, to witness it. Again, that sounds absurd.

“Kai!” Kris yelps out of the sudden and only then does Kai realize he is filling the plate with chocolate sauce. “What the hell are you doing?”

Kai shakes his head and helps himself to the crepes and strawberries. “This is confusing,” he says in a low voice as Kris fills a cup with hot water.

“What? Why do you look like you left your brain in your room?” he says, glowering.

“Nothing,” he mutters and turns around while Kris continues to glare at him. Kai weaves his way to Sehun. Concealing the perplexity and bafflement in his face, he squeezes between Baekhyun and Sehun on the bench. “Well, good morning,” he chimes, facing Baekhyun with a smirk. Sehun glides away from him with a vexed scowl etched on his face.

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow when Kai winks at him. “Why are you sitting here?” Baekhyun demands.

“Your friend promised to have breakfast with me,” Kai mutters nonchalantly, turning to face Sehun. “Didn’t you?”

“I didn’t,” Sehun spits out, grabbing a piece of celery from Chanyeol’s plate. Kai’s smile falters as he hangs his head, wondering what made Sehun dive into such a sour mood all out of a sudden.

“Wow, this is new,” for a moment Kai thinks it is Sehun that has spoken, but when he raises his head, he sees Shixun taking his seat on the bench beside Chanyeol. “Has something possessed you?” he asks Kai, settling his books on the table.

“I was wondering the same thing,” Baekhyun mumbles.

“Sleep well?” Chanyeol inquires, smiling a full smile at Shixun.

“I actually did,” Shixun says. He is literally glowing and Kai knows for a fact that it isn’t because of Kris.

“Crepe?” Kai offers in a timid voice, feeling a little ridiculous himself as he slides the plate in Sehun’s way. Sehun lets out an exasperated breath, shaking his head. “Did I do… something?” he asks in hushed tones and Sehun finally meets his eyes.

“What are you doing after classes?” Chanyeol says and Sehun shifts his gaze to his friend. “You wanna do some revision?”

Shixun grins sheepishly and Baekhyun harrumphs silently beside Kai. “Actually, I can’t. I’ve got a date.”

“You do?” Sehun rasps, eyeballing his brother.

“Yep,” Shixun bites on his lower lip.

“With whom?” Chanyeol inquires. “Kris?”

“No. Please. Kris and I are ancient history now.” He scoffs. Kai couldn’t help but feel a little discomforted about this whole Kris and Shixun’s breakup. Everyone believed they would settle down and live a boring lifetime together. They were practically an old couple, almost as interesting as wet cardboard, Kai always thought. So to see the strongest couple of the school break up over something that isn’t even that horrible is sort of terrifying. But it is their lives and Kai doesn’t exactly have much say in it.

“Wait, you’re seeing someone else?” Baekhyun wheezes, suddenly looking perky.

“Yep,” Shixun’s eyes briefly flit to Kris, but he instantly averts them back to Baekhyun. “His name is Jaehan.”

Kai almost chokes on his own spit and Sehun gives a similar reaction as they both gape at Shixun. “Isn’t that the Locator?!” Sehun huffs.

“Isn’t he like too old for you?” Kai adds and he captures Sehun’s glare sent in his direction. “I mean, what’s with you Ashertons and older men?” he snorts.

“At least they know what they want and are not easily swayed by every single pretty butt they see,” Sehun retaliates with a strong antagonism in his voice and for a moment, Kai could only blink at him.

“I feel like you’re hinting at something and I’m not sure how it’s associated with me.”

“Of course, not. Because you’re oblivious to everything, aren’t you? Like a child!”

“Oh, _I’m_ oblivious to everything, huh? You think of yourself as the sharpest shed out there?”

“Whoa, guys,” Shixun cuts in with a nervous laughter. “Knock it off. It’s my business and I like hanging out with him, that’s all.”

“This isn’t about you, Shixun,” Kai snaps and turns to face Sehun as Shixun and Chanyeol exchange an odd glance with a shrug of their shoulders. “What is your problem?” Kai demands and Sehun’s scowl deepens. “Why are you always like this? You pull me close and then push me away all the fucking time, for stupid reasons.”

Sehun shoots up to his feet. Without sparing Kai another glance, he storms out of the feast hall. Clenching his teeth and balling his hands into fists, he treads after Sehun with heavy, angry steps.

“Sehun,” he calls through his grit teeth. Sehun doesn’t stop as he walks into one of the back corridors, which are almost never used by anyone. They come to the stairs of a tower and Sehun finally halts to a stop before he spins around to face Kai.

“You are never to see or talk to that Ren again,” he spits fiercely, prodding his index finger into Kai’s chest.

Blinking, Kai stares at him for a good minute. “The warden’s kid? He’s nobody, Sehun. I bumped into him once, literally. Why are you acting so crazy over him?”

Sehun turns his back to Kai and starts pacing the ground with his hands stuck into the pockets of his cardigan. The finally flumping on the step of the staircase, he plants his head in his hands and Kai frowns. “He ruined your life.” he hears Sehun whisper.

“What?”

Sehun brings his head up to meet Kai’s bewildered gaze. “He existed in the other fate.” That grabs all of Kai’s attention. Sehun stands again, running a hand through his greyish-green hair. “I… You… you loved him. Part of me believes that you still do love him. He was your first love and he… destroyed you. And I saw how you looked at him earlier. I saw how _he_ looked at you.”

It makes so much sense now. But still, Kai couldn’t make himself move or say anything.

“I never thought I’d run into him here. He might have genuinely loved you, Kai, but I don’t want him to ruin you again. I don’t want him to take away the life you should rightfully live. But… maybe he isn’t the same in this fate. Maybe if you guys got together, it will last forever. Maybe—” he is cut off when Kai grabs hold of his arms and gently presses his back against the wall. Staring into Kai’s eyes, Sehun’s breath quickens.

“Is that why you kissed me? Out of jealousy?”

“No. No. I want him to stay away from you. I changed Grace’s destiny, not yours. So if he existed in your life, I’m worried he might end up hurting you as he had in the other fate. I don’t want you to go through anything that you did—” he is interrupted again as Kai cups his chin and jaw, and silences him with a brutally passionate kiss. It makes Kai mad. How much influence Sehun has over his willpower, how his heart reacts to every word that Sehun utters. It makes him viciously furious.

Sehun doesn’t pull away or push Kai away. He splays a hand over Kai’s chest as though to feel his heartbeat and curls an arm around Kai’s shoulder to fist his hair by the nape. He kisses Kai back as Kai softly sucks on every inch of the throbbing lips. Kai slides a hand down to Sehun’s hip and slithers it into the shirt. The warmth of Sehun’s skin against his fingers makes his chest tight and blood stir in his neither regions.

Sehun lets out a shaky breath against Kai’s lips when Kai breaks the kiss with a fine line of saliva connecting their bottom lips. “Thank you,” Kai exhales, wrapping his arms around Sehun’s waist and drops his face onto Sehun’s shoulder. “For caring about me.”

Sehun goes still as he braces himself upon the wall. “Kai, I always do care about you.”

“You care about _me_.” _Not because I’m him_ , Kai doesn’t say the last part. Then raising his head, he cups the sides of Sehun’s face and gazes into his eyes. “Look. I might have loved that guy in the other fate. He might have been my first love. But you don’t have to worry about me now. Because I love you. And I plan on doing that until I die. Or lose my sanity. Or when I start dating Megan Fox.”

“Megan Fox?”

“You’re not my only childhood crush,” Kai rolls his eyes and Sehun groans. “Things aren’t the same now, Sehun. I didn’t fall for him first. I fell for you. You’re my first love, so unless you’re planning to destroy me, I’m gonna be fine.” He pulls away from Sehun half-heartedly.

“I hope you will,” Sehun mutters, licking his lips.

Smirking, Kai grabs the sleeve of Sehun’s cardigan. “It’s still cute that you got all jealous.”

Sehun glowers for a second. “I told you, I wasn’t jealous.”

“You certainly don’t like the idea of me and that blonde hottie hitting it off.”

“Yeah, because—”

“Really? Were you all full of beans about him in the other fate?”

Sehun frowns. “No, but—”

“What if I actually fell in love with him now and we actually live happily ever after?” Kai asks, cocking a brow.

Sehun falls completely silent as he gapes at Kai. Then pulling his cardigan free from Kai’s grip, he starts walking away. Kai seizes his hand to stop him.

“I asked you a question, Sehun.”

“I don’t know, Kai,” he blurts out, refusing to meet Kai’s eyes.

His heart skips a beat. If only he had the words to describe his feelings that instant. “What does _I don’t know_ mean, Sehun?”

Sehun lets out a heavy sigh. “I don’t like him.”

“I don’t care about who you _don’t_ like.”

Sehun’s gaze flings up and locks with Kai’s. “I have to go get my books. Class is about to start.” He frees his hand from Kai and walks away, leaving Kai to gawk at his back.


	36. Subtle Repose

The insides of his cheeks throb from having been chewed on relentlessly for a long stretch of time. His leg vibrates as he tirelessly taps his foot on the floor before he brings the pen to his mouth to gnaw on the tip of the pen. He has to think of a way to meet Allis without raising any suspicion. If that isn’t enough trouble, Ren just had to show up to make everything worse. Sehun supposes he shouldn’t let it bother him too much, but it does. It bothers him so much. All that he could think about after seeing Ren in the corridor is the way Kai had looked at him. His body trembles every time he replays the image of Kai smirking at Ren like he is so smitten by the blonde guy. And Sehun isn’t proud of it, but it makes him viciously furious. Kai isn’t Ren’s. Ren does not deserve him.

Who does, then? Does _he_ deserve Kai, then? Sehun doesn’t even want to answer that question. Is he jealous? He might have been jealous of Kai loving Ren in the other fate, but he doesn’t have to worry about it in this. Because for starters, Kai does not love Ren in this fate. And secondly, Sehun does not love Kai, so he shouldn’t be too bothered about it. Or at least, he is convinced so.

Okay, maybe he is a tiny bit jealous of Ren. And the fact that he and Kai are bound to share a history together in any fate certainly irritates Sehun. But darn him if he ever let Kai know that.

Let’s just say Sehun isn’t here. Would Kai have ended up with Ren in this fate, too? Well, Kai didn’t exactly end up with Ren in the other fate. Maybe Sehun _is_ meant to be Kai’s destiny. Maybe Kai is Sehun’s in any fate.

The door creaks open and his thoughts dissipate momentarily. Kai slides into the room without making too much noise and when he spots Sehun at his desk, his lips curl into a mischievous grin. Sehun wonders where he had been all evening, but he isn’t going to ask, because if he did, then he will be having a conversation with Kai, which would most certainly lead to the topic of them kissing earlier today. Sehun supposes there could have been some other way to keep Kai from Ren rather than just kissing him in front of Ren, but at that time, it was all that Sehun could come up with. He was furious, confused and in that moment, he wanted Kai’s eyes to be only for him. Sehun has never been the type to keep his cool when he’s angry. So yeah, he took it out on Kai.

But the tension has faded and Sehun is ready to deal with this matter rationally.

“You’re not asleep,” Kai blatantly states as he collapses on his bed without bothering to take his shoes or jacket off.

Sehun shrugs and briefly drops his gaze to his book, which he hasn’t really paid much attention to. “I have homework. You do, too.” He turns to face Kai and his sheepish smirk again. “Have you done it?”

“Do you even know me?” Kai scoffs.

“If you’re planning to pass this term, you should start bothering a little.”

Kai sits up. “Relax. It’s the weekend tomorrow. And I’ll just borrow notes from your brother when the time comes.”

Shaking his head, Sehun returns his gaze to his books and fiddles with the pen. “Where were you?” the question just slips out of his mouth and he regrets it almost instantly.

“Out. With Kris.”

“You guys snuck out?”

“Yeah. He’s finally wallowing over his breakup and I was pretty bored.”

Sehun raises an eyebrow. “Wallowing how?”

“Well, few shots of tequila and some dirty jokes about beautiful blonde boys, who could or could not be the warden’s son.”

Sehun groans. “Not funny.”

Kai lets out a breathy chuckle and Sehun realizes he is slightly tipsy and heady. “It’s a little funny.”

“Are you… drunk?”

“No. I didn’t drink that much.”

“You certainly look drunk.”

“I’m not drunk, Sehun. I know not to come to my room, where the boy I have multiple wet dreams about and wank off to sleeps half naked without any protection, while I’m drunk.”

Sehun’s breath catches in his throat. God, this bastard. “Fine. I have to study, so try to be quiet.”

“No problem,” Kai stretches out on the bed after kicking his shoes off. “I’m so darn tired anyway.”

Sehun watches him until he has closed his eyes. He’s been fine all day, but there is no guarantee that things won’t get worse tomorrow. There has to be a way to get Kai to Allis as soon as possible. He doesn’t really know how Allis would be able to help him. He doesn’t even know what Flair she possesses. But for the time being, he will just have to put his faith in her.

“Hey,” he mutters and it takes Kai a moment to crack an eye open.

“Hm.”

Sehun shifts in the chair and clears his throat. “Is Xiomara still… staying at Jungkook’s?”

“Think so. Why?”

“Nothing. I’m gonna pay her a visit tomorrow. Maybe stay there until Sunday evening.”

Kai pushes up and props himself on his elbows. “You’re… going to see her?”

“Yeah.”

“So, you won’t… be here for the weekend?”

“Uh… I don’t think so? I mean, I miss Jungkook, too.” He shrugs and deliberately turns away from Kai. “We haven’t really been… that close in this fate.”

For a long moment, Kai just stares at the wall without uttering a word. When he decides to break the silence, he does it with hesitation. “Um… Can I… go with you?”

Sehun internally screams victoriously. This is easier than he thought. “You wanna come along? Why?”

“I don’t know,” he mutters. “I miss Xi. And I’m worried about her. Besides, I’m assuming you don’t know where they live.”

Sehun helplessly smirks at him.

“What?” he asks, annoyed. “Stop.” He dives back into his pillow and throws an arm over his face. “I can borrow my mom’s car and drive us there.”

“Great.”

“Great.”

 

* * *

 

“Are we there yet?” Sehun asks, glancing out the car’s window for the nth time. It hasn’t even been an hour since they left FLAC, but it makes him unbelievably nervous to be trapped in a car with just Kai. He has been trying to avoid looking at Kai altogether. He isn’t sure why driving with Kai unsettles him. That isn’t the only thing that unsettles him, though. In the morning, Kai told him that he should get dressed in formal clothing because Allis is fussy about boys being sloppy. So, Sehun is clad in the loosest-fitting, oversized blue shirt, which he borrowed from Chanyeol. He isn’t sure how this doesn’t make him look sloppy, but he must look good enough because Kai can’t seem to take his eyes off him. Which is even more bothersome.

Kai, on the other hand, looks sharp as usual in a neat black shirt tucked into a pair of black jeans with a belt and black boots. His hair is also swept back neatly. He dons a wristwatch and sports a black stud on his ear. God, Sehun has never admired and appreciated Kai’s appearance this much before. It makes it all the harder to be trapped in this confined moving box of metal with him.

That isn’t even the worse thing. Whatever aftershave that Kai is wearing, it is making Sehun’s heart flutter and stomach churn. It would be so great if he could touch Kai’s freshly shaved jawline.

 _Damn it_.

“Are we there yet?”

“You know, you’re really starting to sound like Donkey,” he laughs and Sehun wonders if it is some sort of funny reference. “Donkey? Shrek? The movie?”

“You watch a lot of TV, don’t you?”

Kai chuckles, shifting the gear as he steers the car to the right at the junction and Sehun swallows. They are near the outskirts of the city where all the lands might possibly be owned by filthy rich people. “You look… good.”

Sehun’s gaze darts to Kai again and he gapes at him for a brief moment. “Uh… thanks.” _You look good_. Is he serious? Sehun has a baggy shirt clinging to his shoulders and a bad hair day. Or was he being sarcastic?

He pulls the car into the compound of the only house situated in the area. It is a really modern city house and even the exterior design of the huge house boggles Sehun’s mind.

“Have I been here often?” he asks Kai as the car is pulled over. Kai unbuckles his seatbelt, shaking his head lightly.

“I don’t think so. Aunt Allis and Daehun always worked when we were young. Donghae and Yixing were at FLAC and Jungkook was in boarding school until last year. I told mom to call Aunt Allis and let her know we’ll be popping by. Don’t worry.”

“Okay.” He unfastens the seatbelt and opens the door. That is when Kai’s hand grips his wrist and he freezes.

“Sehun, have you thought about… what I said?”

Sehun blinks. “What you said?”

“About going back to the… other fate? Reversing your mother’s destiny. Gwenna.”

“Oh.” He licks his lips. “I’ve thought about it.”

“And?” he cocks an eyebrow.

“Well… I’m not ready for it yet.”

“Sehun, we don’t know when we’d need Gwenna’s help.”

“Kai, I know you’re worried. But trust me. I will do whatever that’s necessary.”

Kai heaves a sigh. “Right. Okay.”

They leave their backpacks in the backseat to be fetched later as they make their way to the front door. Sehun glances back to Kai, who is treading on his footsteps and glares when he catches Kai staring at his butt while twirling the car keys in his hand. Kai’s eyes quickly fly up to meet Sehun’s scowl and for a moment, he flushes in embarrassment. “I wasn’t—”

“Save it,” Sehun hisses and rings the doorbell. Kai rubs the back of his neck, pursing his lips tightly.

“It’s just that when you walk—”

“Kai, I said save it,” he growls.

Kai licks his lips and swallows hard that his Adam’s apple bobs prominently. His eyes suddenly drop to Sehun’s hip and then his butt.

“Oh, my god.” Sehun snaps, moving away from the guy.

“No, no. I swear I wasn’t ogling your ass!”

The door opens and Sehun meets a very cheery Yixing and his mocking smirk. “It’s a beautiful Saturday to ogle asses, ain’t it, Kai?”

“Oh, god,” Kai murmurs, hanging his head. “Hey, Yixing.” He sighs and exchanges a manly embrace with Yixing.

“And hello to you, Sehun.” He turns to Sehun and throws an arm over Sehun’s shoulders, ushering him into the house. “Mom was up early today and she’s been in the kitchen all morning, preparing food for you guys.”

Kai smiles and it is possibly one of the most genuine smiles he has ever smiled. “I miss her food. Aunt Allis makes one mean wedge salad.”

“That isn’t the only thing ‘mean’ about her,” Yixing laughs, clapping his hand to Kai’s back. The interior of the house is just fashionable as the exterior. It is almost like these people live on riches. “Sit. I’ll go see if Jungkook is up. Mom! They’re here!” he crows as he leaves them in the common area.

Sehun takes his seat on one couch while Kai settles for the other.

“Sehun, I swear I didn’t do it on purpose,” he says in a low voice. “It’s just that when you walk, your butt sort of sticks out and it’s impossible for me to not stare at it. One goes up and one goes down and you know which part of me wants to go up. Don’t think I always check you out. Or your butt out at least. It’s not what I’m after. Well, maybe a little. But not today. But your jeans are just _so_ tight, I don’t even know how you fit your… uh… never mind.”

Sehun clenches his jaw. “You are in no way making this any better. Shut up,” he hisses under his breath.

“Ah, boys!” a high-pitched voice clamours its way into the room. Allis shows up, clad in a gown and a blue apron with not a single hair out of place. “So nice of you to finally find your way to my house.”

Kai nervously smiles and rises to his feet to give her hug. Sehun mimics his moves and does the same. “Sorry, Aunt Allis. Been really busy with… well, I just had a lot on my plate recently.”

“Yes, your mother told me about your meltdown.” She gives Kai’s chest a pat and Kai sighs. “And you, Sehun? How are things?”

“Fine, Aunt Allis,” he tries to smile. He isn’t really sure about how tight his relationship with her is supposed to be. But sometime today, he will need to talk to her and tell her everything. Everything.

“You will be having lunch _and_ dinner here. No way you’re leaving before that.”

“We don’t plan to,” Kai says. “Actually, we thought we might spend the night.”

“Oh, that’s marvellous!”

Their attention is diverted when they notice Xiomara descending down the stairs. Her eyes widen when she spots Kai. “And the prodigal daughter returns,” Kai says with a low chuckle as he hurries to the staircase while Xiomara begins to rush down the steps.

“Kai!” she yelps and throws herself onto Kai for Kai to lift her off the ground. “Oh, I’ve missed you!”

“Same here, kiddo.” Kai settles her back on the ground before grabbing her face and pecking on her forehead. Sehun’s stomach flips with a tiny bit of jealousy and a tiny bit of guilt. What would Kai do if he were the one who actually caused Gwenna’s death? Would Xiomara ever forgive him? Would Kai even forgive himself?

 _Kiddo_. It’s something that Kai often says. Sehun’s heart swells.

“When do you plan on going back to school?” he asks Xiomara as they wend their way to the couch.

“Meh. I’m thinking about just dropping out,” she says, flumping on the couch. “Oh, hey, Sehun.”

“Hey, Xi,” he flashes a smile. Allis has disappeared and Yixing joins them again with some drinks.

“Where’s Shixun? Why didn’t he come along?” Xiomara inquires.

“I don’t know. Actually, Sehun was the one who wanted to see how you’re doing,” Kai says and Xiomara looks to Sehun in surprise.

“Really?” she asks. “That’s… nice of you.”

“So, what’s the real reason you came by?” Yixing snorts, perching on the armrest.

“No, that really is the reason.” Sehun mutters.

“Where’s Donghae?” Kai asks.

“He’s not home,” Yixing says. “I don’t think he came home last night. Did you see him, Xi?”

Xiomara shakes her head. It’s nice to see her smile, to be honest. “Maybe he’s hanging out with his new boy toy.”

“He has a boy toy?” Kai rasps with his eyes bulging out.

“No, he doesn’t. Xi,” Yixing rebukes. “He’s not a boy toy. Donghae really likes him.”

“Whoa, Donghae _likes_ someone?” Kai gasps this time. “That’s a first.”

“It’s a Pootle, too,” Xiomara snickers.

“What?! Are we talking about _our_ Donghae or is this some Donghae from a fantasy land?”

They share a laughter and even Sehun finds himself to be smiling.

“Shh,” Yixing hisses. “Mom doesn’t know,” he whispers. “Not yet, at least. She knows he’s been hanging with a Pootle, but she doesn’t know he’s Donghae’s… person.”

Sehun lets out a laugh. “Maybe Donghae needs someone to protect. You know?” he says and everyone falls silent for a moment. “I mean… he’s the type that would want to look after everyone. So, maybe he needs someone he could care for.”

“Ooh, I want to know more about this Donghae you speak of,” Yixing says and fakes a shudder. Sehun rolls his eyes as Xiomara and Kai guffaw.

* * *

 (A/N) Guys, I've updated KLP, after a long time!! So check it out :D <http://archiveofourown.org/works/7592749/chapters/18815828>

 


	37. Rough Embrace

“Look what I found,” Jungkook says with a hint of excitement in his voice when he takes his seat at the dining table with a thick book in his hand. It has been a pretty good day thus far, filled with banters, laughter and Lord of the Rings. Xiomara had forced them to watch all three movies and to be fair, Sehun hasn’t had this much fun in a long time.

“Oh, my god, is that a photo album?” Xiomara rasps.

“Settle down,” Allis yaps while serving when Xiomara starts to snatch the album from Jungkook. “There will be no menace at my table for the billionth time.”

Xiomara, with an exasperated sigh, sinks back in her chair. Sehun’s stomach growls as though on cue when Allis places something that looks like potato with cheese and cream on his plate. “Thank you,” Sehun mutters, hands itching to grab the fork and dig in. He hasn’t eaten good food in a long time after returning to FLAC and based on the lunch that he had eaten earlier today, Allis is indeed a great cook.

“So, how’s things at school?” Allis’ husband, Daehun inquires. He has just come home from work and he has been nothing but polite to everybody.

“We have a ball coming,” Kai says.

“The Halloween Ball?” Allis asks.

“Yes,” Sehun replies instead. “Kai and I were thinking maybe we’ll go to it.”

“Oh, so you are not planning to be there for the family gathering?” Daehun asks.

“Maybe not this year,” Kai says and Daehun nods his head considerately.

“That is fine. So long you kids have fun.”

“Look! It’s you, Xi!” Jungkook giggles, pointing to the album. “Pink ribbons, O-M-G.”

“Jungkook! Put that away,” his mother rebukes, but Jungkook does not pay any heed to her.

“And you, Yixing!”

Yixing nods his head without bothering to even take a look at the photograph. “I was a cute kid,” he mumbles with a nonchalant shrug.

“Key word— _was_ ,” Kai scoffs, seated all the way on the other end of the table. Good. Sehun doesn’t want to be anywhere near Kai for the rest of the day.

“Kai,” Jungkook giggles again, flipping through the album. “That’s you, isn’t it? In diapers, playing with mud.”

“Oh, dear,” Daehun chimes. “That isn’t mud.”

“In diapers? Where?” Sehun rasps, already pushing himself up.

“Yep. That’s enough. Give me that,” Kai grabs the photo album from Jungkook and puts it away, glaring at Sehun, who grimly settles back in his seat. But he wants to see Kai in diapers…

As soon as Allis has taken her seat at the table, they begin to gobble the food down. Kai was right. Everything that Sehun put in his mouth is either freshly crisp or soft, it melts like the divinest butter. It hits the spot.

“Oh, sweet Jesus,” Kai moans with his eyes clamped down. “Oh. God. So good, Aunt Allis.”

“Easy there, player. Leave my mother’s name out next time. You sound like you’re having an orgasm.” Yixing snorts under his breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear. Allis chokes on her spinach, Daehun coughs while Xiomara, Jungkook and Sehun burst into laughter. Kai clenches his jaw and looks daggers at Yixing, who smirks and winks. “Hey, I don’t know what your fantasies are.”

“Yixing!” Allis snaps. “Don’t make me shove a spoon down your throat! Keep your mouth shut and eat!”

“Mom, I can’t eat with my mouth shut.”

His mother and Kai do not find it humorous, but everyone else does.

“I’ll remember to pay you back later,” Kai hisses at Yixing through his grit teeth.

Sehun couldn’t possibly describe how good this feels. To have a family, to have a home to belong to. To have this playful banter during dinner. He supposes if he tried to fit in, this will be his family. All of them _are_ his family. Only he hasn’t given them a chance to _be_ his family. Only he keeps pushing himself away from them.

No, this isn’t the matter he needs to focus on right now. He needs to get Allis alone so that he can talk to her.

“Kai, will you be staying here tonight?” Xiomara asks, eyes full of excitement and hope.

Kai nods his head with a full mouth.

“Oh, goody! We can watch more movies, then!”

“You can’t keep them to yourself all night, Xi. We’re going out,” Yixing says, clasping a hand to Kai’s shoulder. A corner of Kai’s lips quirk into a naughty smirk. Sehun wonders if they have something planned.

“Where are you going? I wanna come along,” Xiomara says, jumping in her seat.

“It’s not somewhere you can go, sorry.”

“Oh, where is this _somewhere_?” Allis inquires.

“Trust me, mom. You _don’t_ want to know that.”

Allis raises a hand to Yixing as she wipes her lips with the napkin. “Please, spare me from the disgust.”

“Sehun, you’re coming along, too, right?”

Sehun stares at Yixing for a moment before his eyes flit to Allis. He, then shakes his head. “Nope. I… I was thinking I’ll watch movies with Xi and Jungkook. Spend more time with them.”

The doorbell chimes, paralysing everyone at the table for a moment. “Ah, that must be Donghae. I’ll get it,” Yixing says and excuses himself from the table.

“He’s really home late. Again,” Allis says in a sour tone. “He hasn’t come home for two days.”

“Maybe he did,” Jungkook cuts in. “Maybe he teleported himself to his room and left. He does that sometimes.”

“I know he didn’t come back. Besides, I strictly told him to not to teleport unless the situation really requires him to do so.”

“Honey, he’s old enough to look after himself now,” her husband says, taking a bite of the creamy potatoes.

“Exactly. He’s old enough now. We should get him married or something.”

“Can we discuss this some other time, darling?”

“And since when does he—” she cuts herself off when they hear the cheerful chortles that surge into the dining hall.

“Well, you have to come along,” Yixing says as he walks into the room. Behind him, Donghae is smiling with his hand pressed to the back of a guy, whom Sehun does not recognize.

“Kai!” Donghae rasps and when Kai stands up, he pulls him into a rough embrace. “Hey, Sehun,” he says, grinning in Sehun’s way. Oh, god. He really does look happy.

“Eunhyuk,” Allis perks up immediately and jumps up to her feet. Donghae instantly pulls himself away from the other guy. “So nice of you to join us,” she says, ushering Eunhyuk to the table. “Oh, have you washed your hands?”

“I haven’t, Mrs Haflan,” says the guy named Eunhyuk.

“We’ll wash up and join you guys in a jiffy,” Donghae speaks up and grabs Eunhyuk’s arm before hauling him away. Sehun returns his gaze to Kai, who is whispering something too quiet to hear to Yixing. He looks a little disgruntled.

“That’s his friend?” Daehun asks his wife.

“Yes,” Xiomara is the one who answers with a mischievous smirk.

They talk about all sorts of issues once Donghae and his friend have joined them. Most of the topics circled around Eunhyuk, who is also Sehun’s item of interest at the moment. He is the Pootle they were talking about earlier. Sehun doesn’t see what about the guy might have interested Donghae. But then again, Donghae is a simple guy with anger management issues. Eunhyuk looks like a simple guy, too. A little too simple.

As soon as dinner is over, Yixing rallies Kai, Donghae and his friend to head out together. “We’ll take Kai’s car,” Yixing tells his parents, who don’t seem much interested about their outing.

“Come, Sehun,” Jungkook says.

“You guys go set up. I’ll be there. Here, Aunt Allis, let me help you,” Sehun offers to help Allis with the dishes as the rest storm out of the dining room.

“It’s fine, Sehun. You go ahead,” Allis says, smiling pleasantly, but she seems a little worn out.

“No, I insist.” He assures her with a flashy grin. She does not refuse.

When they are alone in the kitchen, sorting out the dishes, Sehun finally musters the courage to speak. “Aunt Allis.”

“Yes, Sehun?” she lifts her head to face Sehun.

Sehun settles the plates on the sink counter and sucks in a deep breath. “I have to talk to you,” he says in a low voice. Allis waits for him to say something more. “Uh… it’s going to be a little unbelievable. I’m not even sure where to start. But Kai needs your help.”

Allis straightens up, blinking in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Sehun’s heart begins to hammer against his chest. “I have a lot to tell you, Aunt Allis. Something is wrong with Kai. He is going to be a danger to everyone and himself. It all started with the tombstone and—” he pauses as a random thought surges into his mind.

“Sehun, what is it? What tombstone?”

Sehun lowers his head, lips parting as his breath quickens. The last time he and Kai had mentioned the tombstone to someone else was Faiion before they had the chance of telling Grace. How could it completely slip his mind? Why didn’t even Kai remember it? Faiion knew about the tombstone. His father _knew_ about the tombstone, and yet he later pretended like he didn’t.

Sehun staggers back and clasps his hand over his mouth.

“Sehun, tell me what is it?”

“Yeah, Sehun. Do tell.” Kai’s voice booms into the kitchen and Sehun spins around with his heart beating in his throat. Kai’s eyes are red, but he looks more hurt than angry. He is clutching the car keys in his hand like he might crush it. “Do tell us all what is _wrong_ with me.”

“Kai,” Sehun gasps as his stomach shifts painfully. “No, I didn’t—”

“I’m sorry, Aunt Allis. I have to go.” He turns on his heel and stomps out of there. Sehun’s head spins for a moment as blood pounds in his ears. He glances back to Allis one last time before he runs after Kai.

“Kai! Kai, please. Listen to me,” he pants, grabbing Kai’s arm. Kai ferociously yanks his arm free and bares his teeth as though he might snap Sehun’s neck off right there.

“Not you too,” he spits. “Is this why you wanted to come here?! To ask Allis to _help_ me?! Because I’m nuts?! Because I’ve gone fucking mental?!”

“God, no. Can you just hear me out for a second?!”

Kai locks his jaw and starts toward the door. “Fuck you, Sehun. Go fuck yourself.”

This is bad. This is so bad. “Kai!”

Kai does not bother to leave excuses as he zooms past Yixing, Donghae and Eunhyuk. “Is something wrong?” Donghae inquires Sehun. Sehun shakes his head, swallowing the lump in his throat as he hurries behind Kai.

“Please, Kai. I wasn’t going to… Kai, listen to me.”

Kai jumps into the driver’s seat and Sehun enters the vehicle as well. “Get out,” Kai hisses through his grit teeth. “I can’t bear to see your face right now.”

“No!” he takes hold of Kai’s hand only to have Kai pull it back and clench Sehun’s shirt with it.

“What were you going to tell her?!” he demands.

“Nothing!” Sehun lies. “Nothing, Kai. You have to calm down. Please.”

Kai retrieves his hand and slumps back against the seat, clutching the steering wheel instead. “Fuck,” he curses under his breath and slams his hands against the wheel before he starts the car’s engine. Sehun, with his chest tightening, fastens the seatbelt. He doesn’t know how to calm Kai, hell, he doesn’t know how to calm himself right now. His hands won’t stop shaking.

“Kai—” Sehun speaks again when they are back on the road.

“What is wrong with me, Sehun?! Come on, tell me!”

“Nothing! Oh, god, nothing is wrong with you! I shouldn’t have said that. What I meant to tell Allis is about the problem you have.”

“I have a problem. Of course,” he scoffs and Sehun could see the veins protruding on the back of his hands as he clenches the steering wheel tighter. “It isn’t _my_ problem! It’s Arthur’s! Arthur is the one—”

“I know, Kai. I know. Please, calm down and don’t be angry.”

“What I don’t get is why you think Allis could help us with it. What made you think she could help us when you barely know her?!”

Sehun’s heart begins to thump louder and harder by the second. “Kai—”

“I’m just fucking confused! Were you pretending to be okay with me all this while?! Were you too thinking that I’ve lost my mind?!”

“Oh, my god, no! Kai, if anything, I believe you the most! I don’t think I’ve ever trusted anyone more in my life!”

Kai steps on brake and the car lurches to a stop. “Then, why?!”

“Because… because… fuck, because I don’t want anything to happen to you, Kai,” he breathes out, suddenly feeling too tired to even raise his voice. “Because I feel like… this is my destiny. You are my destiny. Making everything right for you is my destiny. And I want to do everything I can to make sure of that. I guess that’s the least I could do for someone I love… and loves me.”

He expects Kai to lash out again. But he is completely taken aback when Kai plunges his fist into the steering wheel and the lonely road by the outskirt of the city reverberates with the screeching noise of the honk.

“That doesn’t answer my bloody question, Sehun! Why did you see the need to tell Allis about it?! Why would I need _her_ help?! You think you know everything, don’t you? You think whatever that you believe is correct! And that I’m wrong! ‘Cause I’m stupid! I asked you to go back and find Gwenna! Because she’s the one who can help us, not Allis! But you were specifically asking Allis to help _me_! Why?! Do you think there’s something up with—” he is cut off when Sehun grabs his shirt collar and hauls him close.

“Kiss me,” he pants breathlessly and Kai, for a moment, looks like he’s seen a ghost.

“Wh-what?”

“Kiss me, kiss me, Kai!” He needs to calm down. They both need to. And right now, Sehun is too tired to bother with literally everything. He is far too tired. He wants to forget all of this for a brief moment and just let himself go. Get fucked, get released or whatever, he doesn’t care. He gives up. He gives in.

Kai doesn’t seem like he has calmed down when he cups the back of Sehun’s neck before he aggressively clenches Sehun’s hair and pulls him close until their mouths crash against one another. Sehun rips Kai’s shirt open and drags his nails down Kai’s toned chest before he shifts over to Kai’s seat to kneel on either side of Kai and over his lap. Their tongues swirl and dance with erotic desperation, and Sehun lets out a moan when Kai bites down on his lower lip, sliding a hand between Sehun’s thighs. Kai’s hands rip Sehun’s shirt open before they fumble with the buckle of Sehun’s belt.

Sehun’s head hits the ceiling of the car as Kai breaks the kiss and drags his wet, hot lips down Sehun’s neck, chest and he spends a good minute peppering Sehun’s stomach with obscene kisses. Sehun lowers to sit on Kai’s lap and claims Kai’s mouth again as he begins to rock his hips. The car is soon filled with their moans and gasps due to the stunning friction created by the fabric of their jeans between their cocks. Kai is rough. He is still angry. He leaves sloppy marks all over Sehun’s neck and collarbones while his hands bruise the sides of Sehun’s waist.

Kai shoves Sehun until his back is pressed against the steering wheel and the honk screeches without a rest as Sehun pushes his crotch forward, rocking his hips harder and faster to grind his cock against Kai’s. Kai grabs onto the sides of Sehun’s torso and leans down to lick and suck the planes of Sehun’s stomach before he pulls his mouth down to the fly of Sehun’s jeans.

“Oh, fuck,” Sehun pants heavily, fisting Kai’s hair as Kai sucks and licks Sehun’s cock over the jeans. Then yanking the hair, Sehun kisses Kai full on mouth.


	38. The Unreachable Compromise

It isn’t like Kai isn’t aware of the fact that Sehun will only push him away once this is over. He knows Sehun’s game now. He is far too tired and furious to play Sehun’s game. He also knows the beautiful jerk’s angle for begging him to kiss him. It isn’t the first time Kai had heard Sehun say derogatory and slighting comments about him. Yeah, Kai knows what Sehun really thinks of him. But saying something like that to Allis takes things to a whole new level of insult. Kai is hurt. More hurt than he would like to admit. A part of him wants to believe that Sehun did it with the best of intentions, but Kai is just so tired of him treating him like a mindless child. Kai is a man, not a foolish younger version of the Kai Sehun knows and loves, and it’s about time Sehun’s acknowledged that.

His own family thinks that he is losing his mind, and maybe he is, but all this while, Sehun must have believed it, too. Was he just putting on a façade to convince Kai that he can trust him? Sehun has plans of his own and he doesn’t want to clue Kai in. Why? Because he doesn’t trust Kai? Because he believes Kai has a _problem_?! He can be a danger to himself and others?! Why would Sehun even think that?

He doesn’t want to answer of these questions, hence the manoeuvre to shut Kai up by making out with him. Fine. If this is how Sehun wants to play.

Kai’s hand splayed on Sehun’s chest shoves him back until Sehun is pinned against the steering wheel again, and he juts his tongue to lick along the trail of fine hairs from the base of Sehun’s V-line to the navel. A raspy moan escapes Sehun’s lips when Kai sucks the soft spot above his navel and leaves it red. Then wrapping his hand around Sehun’s neck, Kai plants sloppy wet kisses all over his sternum.

This whole thing is horrible. This is not how Kai wants things to be between them. He isn’t even sure if Sehun _wants_ this. Sehun cares about him, but it isn’t love, is it? He might be just enduring this for the sake of shutting Kai up. It only makes it more painful. Kai can’t read Sehun. Maybe he should just give up.

He fumbles to unbuckle Sehun’s belt and wonders if Sehun would stop him. He doesn’t. Sehun buries his hands in Kai’s hair and breathes hard as Kai peppers his body with hasty, ferocious kisses. His skin burns everywhere Kai touches and kisses. He grips the corner of Sehun’s waist, which is bound to leave a bruise. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. The boy of his dreams is offering himself, but not wholeheartedly. Kai knows they will both regret this later on. And he knows this will affect him more than it will ever affect Sehun. Even so, he doesn’t want to let go of Sehun tonight.

“Kai,” Sehun huffs out, fingers clenching Kai’s hair as Kai undoes the fly of his pants. “You don’t… have to,” he breathlessly mutters and Kai pauses for a moment, looking up at Sehun.

“I don’t have to? I _want_ to, Sehun. I fucking want to!”

Sehun falls silent. They both do. Sehun slowly lowers to sit on Kai’s lap, pressing his palms to Kai’s burning chest. Kai takes a breath and calms himself, although his emotions are still all over the place. He tries to suppress his anger as he gazes into Sehun’s guilt-stricken eyes.

“I…” Sehun exhales, dragging a hand down to Kai’s abs while his eyes are fixed on Kai’s lips. “Not like this,” he says at last. “It’s your… first time… I don’t want it to be… like this.”

“You think I care?” Kai hisses. He _does_ care. But he isn’t going to show it. He isn’t going to let Sehun see his vulnerable sides anymore. “And who the hell said it’s my first time?”

Sehun freezes, eyes slightly widening. “Oh.”

“You went behind my back. You asked me to kiss you to shut me up,” Kai growls, grabbing the collar of Sehun’s unbuttoned shirt. “And _now_ you care about my feelings?”

“Oh, my god, Kai,” Sehun sighs. “I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry, okay?!”

“Shut up, Sehun,” Kai spits and grabs a fistful of Sehun’s hair at the back of his head and yanks it until Sehun’s neck is bared for his lips. Kai smashes his mouth on Sehun’s protruding Adam’s apple and grazes his neck with his teeth before marring the skin with brutal kisses. That is when Sehun clutches Kai’s hair and he slams Kai against the seat. For a moment, Kai, dumbfounded, watches Sehun slip his hand between Kai’s legs. Letting out a moan, Kai leans his head back on the headrest and clenches his eyes when Sehun’s warm hand massages his rapidly hardening shaft over the jeans. His eyes fly open as Sehun rams their mouths together and violently kisses him. Their tongues curl around one another and Kai sinks his teeth into Sehun’s lower lip and pulls it.

Sehun straddles Kai’s hips and sits on Kai’s cock. He begins to rock his hips, providing amazing friction for their cocks and it almost drives Kai insane. Then kneeling up, arching his neck while the top of his head hits the ceiling of the car, Sehun grabs Kai’s hand and brings it to his crotch. The car is soon filled with moans and gasps as Kai rubs and clutches Sehun between his thighs. Sehun’s face and neck have gone entirely red, and Kai’s mouth waters to taste the pink, pebbled nipples. He yearns for more contact between their skins. He wants to taste every inch of Sehun.

Kai breaks the kiss and smashes his lips to Sehun’s navel to lick and suck it. Sehun, then grinds their cocks together again, insistently riding Kai’s hips, and he claims Kai’s lips, moaning into Kai’s mouth.

“Fuck, I’m gonna…” Sehun pants, picking up the pace of the rocking of his hips. Kai holds onto the sides of Sehun’s waist and kisses him full on mouth before he cups Sehun’s crotch and kneads it.

“Come,” he moans into Sehun’s mouth and within seconds, Sehun is a crying mess as he claws into Kai’s shoulder bones.

 

* * *

 

Maybe an hour might have passed. Kai hasn’t exactly kept count of the silent minutes that hung between them. They haven’t uttered a single word to each other and being trapped in the car with the scent of sex all over the vehicle does not make it any easier.

Sehun continues to keep his gaze out the window while gathered his thoughts together. There is no point in lashing out at Sehun. Kai buttons his shirt up and lets out a heavy breath.

“What now?” he sighs, glancing over to Sehun.

Sehun turns his head to face Kai. He wears an unreadable expression. “I… know you think I think you have a problem.”

“Uh, no. You _said_ I have a problem. You certified it, Sehun.”

Sehun rubs his temples and shifts in his seat. “I need you to trust me, Kai.”

“Why the hell should I?!” he snaps. “I did trust you, Sehun. But now I’m starting to think I have no reason to trust you.”

Sehun’s eyebrows furrow into a frown. “What does that suppose mean?”

“I mean, what are we? Roommates? Friends? Friends with benefits now? Am I just a shadow of your boyfriend? Fuck, Sehun, I don’t want to be any of those.”

“You are so upset over something this petty?” he scowls. “I haven’t told Allis anything!”

“You don’t get it! I’m upset because you’re pretending.”

“I am not pretending, Kai!”

“You think I am nuts, Sehun!”

“I do not! How many times do I have to apologize?!”

“What were you going to tell her?”

Sehun snaps his lips shut and stares. Then exhaling exasperatedly, he says, “I was going to ask for help.”

“Why do you think she can help us? You think she can deal with Arthur? You barely know her, don’t you?”

Sehun bites his lip. “Kai… I want to tell you. I really do. But you’re just going to have to trust me.”

“No! I’m not going to trust you, Sehun. I give up.”

“What?”

“I give up on you. You are never going to let me in. This is all just dawning to me.”

“Kai, you’re overreacting.”

“I am fucking not!” he slams his fist into the steering wheel and Sehun flinches. “You have way too many secrets. You hide things from me. You don’t even treat me like a friend, to be honest.”

“You think I’m that low to… do what we just did when I don’t regard as someone… I… want?” his voice completely dies at the end and Kai only glower at him.

“You’ve gone lower before, Sehun. You’re a selfish person. What? Next time you do something wrong you’ll be offering to suck my brothers’ dicks?”

That does it. Sehun exits the car and slams the door shut. He does not look back as he starts to walk along the roadside with his arms crossed over his chest, hugging his body.

Kai presses his forehead to the wheel and sucks in a breath. Then getting out of the car, he jogs after Sehun.

“Sehun!” he grabs hold of Sehun’s elbow and spins him around.

Kai’s senses abandon him for a second when Sehun’s palm strikes a side of his face out of the blue. “You’re an asshole, do you know that?” Sehun spits as Kai clenches his jaw. “Just because I can’t accept you yet, it doesn’t mean I would sleep with you to manipulate you! I like you, Kai! I care way too much for you and you of all people should know that I haven’t cared much for my _own_ happiness in a long time! You dare call me selfish?! I am dying day and night thinking about you. I want to make everything right for you! And if you can’t see that, yeah, I think you should give up on me and move the fuck on, if that’s what you want!”

Kai licks his lips, still unable to believe that Sehun had just slapped him.

“You know what, Kai? I am going through a lot of shit. I don’t want any of this! I wish I never went to FLAC. I wish I never met you and I wish this, _you_ weren’t my destiny! I was a Freak before and I am a Freak now! I never caught a break because I am always worried about making everything right! I’m not a hero, okay? I am a person with flaws and I can’t be perfect! You can hate me, you can even think that I’m shallow for all this push-and-pull. I wanted to solve this problem and look, hey, I’m the one who’s paying for it. Again! You think you’re the one who’s the victim here, but guess what! I am more fucked than you are! I did not kiss you because I wanted to shut you up, Kai! I didn’t let you touch me or push me up walls and kiss me because I had ulterior motives! Trust me! I don’t have the energy for that. You expect me to tell you everything, but why should I?! Like you said, what are we?!”

“Are you done?” Kai mutters as Sehun catches his breath.

“No, I’m not! You couldn’t listen to me for one minute about what I wanted to say! You had to lash out! You make assumptions as always! You know what, I am not going to explain myself! I did say you have a problem, didn’t I? Well, you _do_ , you bastard! If you want me, then just take me! Strap me to a bed, tie me down! Stop trying to guilt trip me every single time just so that I will be okay with making out with you! You are the manipulative one here! You’re giving up on me?! Well, I’m giving up on _you_!” he prods a finger into Kai’s chest. Sehun’s eyes are glimmering with furious tears.

“Are you done, now?” Kai sighs.

Sehun grinds his teeth. “Yes.”

Kai nods his head and steps forward. He takes Sehun’s face in his hands. “Be my boyfriend.”

Sehun blinks. “Did you… hear anything that I just said?”

“Every word of it. In summary: I’m a dick.”

“You are,” Sehun scowls.

“We’re both tired, Sehun. I shouldn’t have lashed out. I should have given you the chance to explain. You always have… reasons. And… this is life. I want this. Hooking up and then fighting. Fighting then hooking up.”

“Sounds like a classy start to a classy life,” Sehun scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Kai smirks. “I’m sorry.”

“I want to tell you, Kai. I really do. I asked for Allis’ help for a reason.”

“I know. But _I_ can’t know about _my_ problem, which _you_ know?”

Sehun silently stares at Kai before he raises a hand to Kai’s cheek. “Sorry I hit you.”

“You change subjects like a pro. Though, apology’s accepted. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Sehun lets out a heavy sigh and withdraws. “So what? You… you’re not mad anymore?”

“If you’re not.”

“I’m not.”

“Then, I’m not.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Sehun rubs the back of his neck and out of the sudden, he lunges forward and grabs Kai’s nape before he kisses Kai. It’s a strong, solid kiss. The kind that would leave one breathless without even trying. Kai keeps his hands on Sehun’s hips as they clench their eyes while Sehun heavily clings onto Kai’s neck. Then breaking the kiss, Sehun presses their foreheads together and draws in a couple of breaths. “I… want to be your boyfriend, Kai,” he whispers. “I want you… to be my boyfriend. But give me some space to grow into it. I will… try.”

Kai smiles and presses a gentle kiss to Sehun’s lips. “I can work with that.”

Sehun pulls away. This time for good. He starts stomping back to the car and Kai chases after him. “We’re going to my parents’.”

“What? Why?”

“I have to see my Dad.”

“Now? Why? Are you going to kvetch about me being an ass to you so that he can punch my teeth in?”

Sehun comes to halt. “Do you remember when we told my Dad about the tombstone?”

Kai blinks at him in confusion. He recalls the incident all too well. When he made a fool of himself. “Yeah. When I fucked up big time.”

“No, no. Before that. We told just my Dad about the tombstone.”

“We did?” he cocks an eyebrow.

“We did. Drive me there,” he orders and gets into the car. Kai, a little boggled and baffled, jumps into the driver’s seat.


	39. Reverse of Chance

“Sehun, this is what I’m talking about. When something happens, I don’t want you to shut me out and keep things to yourself,” Kai says, breaking the silence in the car. Sehun notices how relaxed Kai is right now compared to ten minutes ago when they were yelling and crowing at each other. Sehun does not know how much longer this night could be extended, but it definitely isn’t coming to an end any time soon. So, recap of everything that has happened in the past hour.

  * Kai had an outburst.
  * They humped in the car out of pure frustration.
  * Kai got hit in the face.
  * Sehun had an outburst.
  * They had become boyfriends.



Sehun seriously needs to jot these things down. It would be a great story to tell his grandkids one day. Of course, he’d leave the humping in the car part out.

To be honest, he is tired. He is beyond tired. He is tired of trying to handle everything on his own. He needs an ally. He needs someone he can depend on; someone he can trust. Many people get into a relationship first before they would fall in love, right? Maybe Sehun could try that. Maybe he needs to surrender. Maybe he needs to just give in and fall for Kai to catch him. For the time being, this will work. They can take things slow hereon. Sehun can’t deal with this odd relationship he has with Kai while focusing on fixing the conundrum they are caught in. So, he will give this a shot. He will give Kai a shot.

Now, that is out of the way, he has a bigger confrontation ahead. His father.

“Sehun?” Kai calls again and Sehun snaps out of it.

“I don’t know why you forgot about it. It had slipped my mind, too. Amidst everything that happened.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Kai… Well, no. But…” he trails off, leaning his head back against the headrest.

“Do we have to do this now? I mean, we just… you know.”

“Why would Dad pretend like he didn’t know about the tombstone later when we told my Mom?” Sehun mutters to himself.

Kai shifts the gear and the car slowly decelerates. Sehun notices the frown that begins to form on Kai’s face before his eyes follow Kai’s strained gaze. “What the…” Kai lets out and Sehun’s eyes narrow, focusing hard on the solid black figure standing on the middle of the road. Kai eases on the pedal as they both gawk at the faceless figure that hasn’t moved an inch from the road. The car edges closer to figure and Sehun’s heart starts to pound in his throat.

“Kai,” he rasps in a breath, clasping his hand over Kai’s, which is gripping the gear stick. “Stop the car.” Kai continues to stare at the figure the car approaches without hitting the brakes. An odd sensation bubbles in Sehun’s chest as image of a thick, blurry figure, just as the one standing on the road, looming behind _Kris_ keeps appearing before his eyes. The night Kai had attacked him… “Kai, stop the car!” he rasps, grabbing the sleeve of Kai’s shirt.

“Shit,” Kai spits out when the dark figure on the read lifts a hand and everything that happens next topples Sehun’s entire world. His body flings forward, held back by the seatbelt. The airbag that hits his face knocks him back and the back of his head slams into the headrest as the car bounds off the road and flips back. His body hits the car’s door and head crashes against the window. It feels as though his skull might have cracked.

Nothing registers to him thereon. He is aware of being tossed up and down and sideways as the car rolls, banging onto the road. His vision dies and the few seconds of the car crash feel like a lifetime of agony.

Then it stops. There is a whirring noise as smoke suffocates him. He isn’t dead, but most of his body is. Sehun, out of breath—nose clogged with blood—opens his eyes. The car’s shattered window shows an upside-down world as the senses slowly return to him, which is not necessarily a good thing because the pain is eminently excruciating, which numbs his mind.

He croaks out a breath and realizes that the top of his head is pressed against the ceiling of the car. “K-Kai,” he lets out, but there is no reply and he could not turn his head to look for him. Kicking the dashboard, he releases himself from the seatbelt and wriggles out through the window with great effort.

He does not pick himself up immediately as he falls on the road and catches his breath, registering every pain in his body and head. Then forcing himself to kneel up, using the upturned car’s tyre for support, he struggles to say, “Kai?” With hot, fresh blood trickling down the sides of his face from his temples and from his nose, he forces himself to stand. It is then when he realizes he could not move his right arm and the pain on his shoulder joint occurs to him. It must have been dislocated. Cursing under his breath, Sehun rises to his feet, tears rolling down his cheeks uncontrolled.

He makes it to the other side of the car and drops to his knees. “Kai,” he whimpers when he finds Kai unconscious, but alive and breathing. He musters the strength and lifts a hand to summon the wind. He steps away from the car as the wind begins to swirl and twist. He grunts and cries, adding more violent rotations to the column of wind, making multiple small whirlwinds. Then taking another step back, he shoves his unharmed arm forward, driving the whirlwinds against the car. With a single hit, the car flips right side up and Sehun dismisses the wind before hurrying back to the car.

He rips the door open and pulls Kai out of the car before dropping him on the road. “Kai,” he calls with whatever voice that’s left. He presses his left hand to Kai’s chest and lets out a sigh of relief. “Kai,” he mutters again, checking Kai’s jeans pockets for a phone. He finds none. Unlike himself, Kai isn’t bleeding anymore. His wounds have healed. And Sehun does not even have the strength to blink anymore.

He almost collapses on the road, and that is when Kai’s eyes fly open and his hand springs up to clutch Sehun’s neck. Before Sehun could even defend himself, Kai flops him and slams him against the road. Something else in Sehun’s body breaks and the pain spreads all over. He lifts a hand, but Kai stomps on it, breaking the bones of his only good, useable hand for the time being. Unable to move and completely defenceless, Sehun gives up. He could not even scream for help when Kai’s hand wraps itself around his neck and begins to cut the oxygen supply. Sehun’s half-lidded eyes stare into Kai’s dark ones. They are not Kai’s.

“Fight it, Kai… Fight… him,” Sehun mewls out with one of his last remaining breaths. He sees a corner of Kai’s lips quirk into a smirk. “Don’t… don’t let him…”

The smirk dies out of the sudden and Kai’s eyes turn sombre for a moment. Then clenching his teeth, Kai releases Sehun’s neck and stumbles back, bracing himself against the car. While Sehun gasps for air, Kai holds onto the sides of his head and lets out a muffled scream, eyes clamped shut and jaw locked.

Sehun sees it. The black figure, looming beside Kai, extending an arm to reach Kai, but something is preventing it from touching him. And then Sehun sees him, when Kai lowers to crouch, gripping his hair and still growling. Sehun sees Kai, but not the Kai that is crouching on the ground. Standing right behind him, a hand choking the black, shapeless, faceless figure’s neck to keep it away.

Then with the blink of an eye, they disappear and black starts to seep into Sehun’s vision. His eyes fall back to Kai, who slowly lifts his head. “Sehun!” he gasps and hurries to Sehun’s side. “Fuck,” he hisses, cupping the sides of Sehun’s face. His eyes are sheening with tears as they scan Sehun’s ruined body. He then runs back to the car and spends a minute or two before he finds his phone.

 

* * *

 

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

It all feels like a bad dream.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Except that it isn’t a dream. It is real.

The _beeps_ continue to ring in his ears. When he opens his eyes, it feels like waking up from a deep, dreamless slumber. It all comes back to him. The fight, the kiss, the car crash that night. Along with the images of Kai trying to kill him.

Sehun lets out a heavy breath and looks to the tube that runs along his nostrils. He is not in the hospital. It is his room. His room back in the mansion. He looks to his right and finds a monitor. An IV line is inserted into his arm. An arm which he cannot move due to the shoulder brace. He turns his head and finds a head and a muss of hair on the bed. Kai is asleep, head on the edge of the bed while he is seated in a chair on the side of the bed.

Sehun raises his left hand and blinks at it. The cast around his hand is signed, _“Amputate Here!~love, Chanyeol”_. Sehun smiles at it. Then he reads the sign below Chanyeol’s. _“When u finger her too hard. Kris.”_. God. And another tiny sign on the cast near his thumb. _“Get well.”_ Must be Shixun’s.

How long has he been under sedation?

The autumn sky is grey outside when he glances to the window. Letting out a soft sigh, he strokes Kai’s hair with his casted hand without flexing his fingers.

Kai’s head shoots up at once and he blinks violently. He does not say anything as his eyes search for a sign of life in Sehun’s face. Sehun smiles at him, but Kai only stares at him with a guilt-stricken gaze. Then he jolts up to his feet and starts for the door.

“Kai,” Sehun calls and Kai comes to a halt. “It… wasn’t your fault.”

Kai faces him with an unreadable frown. Again, without saying anything, he storms out of there and Sehun drops his bandaged head back on the pillow. A moment later, Grace enters the room in frenzy and gasps, “Sehun! Oh, god!” She rushes to his side with tears in her eyes. “How… how do you feel?”

“I feel… like I’m floating,” Sehun mumbles, trying to sit up, but his mother prevents him from doing so.

Grace smiles. “Lie down. I’ll have the doctor come over immediately.”

“Mom… I’m starving.”

“And I’ll have Mrs Gump make some porridge for you.”

“Porridge? Can I get a cheeseburger with curly fries and a big chocolate milkshake?”

Grace carefully runs a hand over Sehun’s head and presses a kiss to his forehead. “Of course. Everyone’s on their way to see you.”

“Mom, can you… send Kai up here on your way?”

“Honey, let’s not blame… it on him, shall we?”

“I’m not, Mom.”

“Okay… Good. He already feels miserable for having done this to you.”

Sehun’s heart clenches. “I want to talk to him.”

“Can’t this wait? You just woke up.”

“Please, Mom.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” she leaves him with a smile on her face and Sehun patiently waits. He has probably slept enough for a decade, but he still feels a little drowsy.


	40. Passing From Sight

He helplessly winces when his eye is blinded by the flash. When the light is removed, he is met with the doctor’s smile. “You will be fine,” the doctor says, clapping a hand to the back of Sehun’s uninjured shoulder. “But I would recommend that you take a month’s rest at least, two weeks’ bedrest. Don’t strain your arm, although it should be completely usable again in a couple of days. However, as for your left hand, there’s been a lot of fractures and…” he turns to face Grace, who looks worried beyond comprehension. Behind her, Shixun grinds his teeth, appearing to be just as flustered. Sehun, on the other hand, is finding all of this quite amusing. It has been a while since he had someone look after him like this. Even Shixun seems worried and he is on leave to be by Sehun’s side. Which is a nice gesture, Sehun presumes. Nevertheless, Kai is not here. Apparently, he had left right after Sehun woke up. “I wouldn’t advise him to use his left hand at all. Would he have problem at school?”

“I can bring notes,” Shixun offers instantly. “We can study together in the weekends and he will catch up.”

“That’s wonderful,” the doctor faces Sehun with a pleasant smile and he swings the stethoscope around his neck. Sehun wonders if he is also a Flairer. Must be. “I suppose you would be considering consulting a counsellor? Just to ensure the accident hasn’t traumatized you.”

“I’m fine,” Sehun blurts out. He _is_ fine. For the most part, at least. The IV line and the tube are removed.

“Just consider it, anyway,” the doctor says, gathering his instruments. “Give me a call if something happens. All the assistance he’ll need is you now.”

“Thank you, Doctor. I’ll see you out,” Grace says and escorts the doctor out of the room.

“Faiion isn’t home?” Sehun hears the doctor say.

“He is at work, but he’ll be here shortly.”

Sehun averts his gaze to Shixun, who is staring at him. “Do I have something on my face?” Sehun asks playfully.

“Yeah. Like a huge bandage,” Shixun scoffs, rolling his eyes before he walks over to the bedside and takes his seat on the chair. “Um…” he licks his lips. “How do you feel?”

“Actually, not that bad.”

“Painkillers.”

“Figured.”

They sit in silence for a moment. Shixun is one of those people who aren’t that expressive. Especially when it comes to family.

“How long was I out?” Sehun inquires.

“A couple of days, that’s all.”

“Oh.” He glances to the cast. “You know, you don’t really have to skip school to be here.”

“What are you talking about? My brother just got in an accident. Of course, I have to be here.” He scowls a little and Sehun could not help but smile. “The car is… completely wrecked. I get how Kai survived, I mean, he would survive. But you…” he trails off, frowning heavily. No one knows that Sehun did almost die. He had survived the car crash, but he would not have survived Kai if Kai had not stopped.

“Well, don’t think you can get rid of me that soon.” Sehun chuckles, but Shixun grimly glowers.

“You’re not funny.”

“Sorry.” He clears his throat and looks up when a crowd surges through the door out of the blue.

“He lives!” Yixing crows, bursting into the room as he, along with Jungkook, Xiomara, Allis and Daehun, rush to Sehun’s sides.

“Oh, my God, a cast!” Jungkook yelps and goes to look for a pen. Sehun grins, sitting up higher to let Allis hug him.

Eventually, Dillan’s family, Dezmond and Faiion show up, too. Everyone shows up, but not Kai.

 

* * *

 

Though Sehun is not looking forward to going back to FLAC anytime soon, he wants Shixun to go. It’s not that he isn’t enjoying their little bonding time, but he knows Shixun would sulk about missing the classes when he isn’t around Sehun.

The two weeks pass by without much fuss and Sehun must admit that he loves the attention. It is usually just him, Shixun and their mother in the mansion, but he is frequently visited by people. Even Chanyeol and Baekhyun had paid him a couple of visits. Sure, he isn’t allowed to get out of bed as often as he’d like to and can’t really utilize both of his hands, but his arm has mostly recovered and his mind is much more relaxed now. He has had a lot of time in his hands, though. To think things through, to recall everything that had happened the night of the accident. He waits for the right moment to get a hold of his father and get some things cleared, but he isn’t sure if he should confront his father while Kai has gone AWOL.

Sehun can’t say that he is mad at Kai for disappearing like that. But it does upset and distress him to think that Kai hadn’t even thought about how Sehun would feel if he vanished without giving them a chance to talk things through. And to come to think of it, they had just become boyfriends.

It frustrates him that Kai hasn’t even come to visit him. Chanyeol told him that Kai is in school, so he hasn’t gone anywhere far. As upsetting as it is, Sehun, for the time being, focuses on his recovery, just as the rest of his family. He knows he cannot deal with anything until he gets his health back in shape.

So far, he knows that his father knows something about the tombstone, something or rather someone is after Kai and Sehun. And whoever that is, he is growing stronger. He almost has a figure now.

“You don’t have to do this,” Sehun mumbles, swallowing the ice-cream that slithers down his throat. “I can use my right hand.”

Shixun ignores him as usual and scoops another spoon of ice-cream before shoving it into Sehun’s mouth. “You are a very slow eater.”

“Hey, I didn’t ask you to feed me.” He rolls his eyes and adjusts his arm sling. He doesn’t think he needs the arm sling anymore, but his mother insists on it. “Change the channel.”

“Watch it.”

“It’s National Geographic.”

“So?”

“It’s nerdy.”

“It’s educational and informative.”

“It’s about freaking hippopotamuses!”

“Fine,” Shixun grabs the TV remote and flips the channel. “There.” He tosses the remote away after changing the channel to the channel that is playing a melancholic, boring old TV show.

“You’re cruel.”

“It’s Downton Abbey! You can’t whine about that!”

“What the hell is Downtown Abbey?”

“ _Downton_ Abbey, for God’s sakes.”

“You’re really hoity-toity, you know?”

“No. I’m just fine. You’re the tasteless, senseless goon.”

Sehun tries to shrug, but only manages to lift a shoulder. “Wait, what do you mean _tasteless_?”

“Have you seen the way you dress?” Shixun glances down to Sehun’s shirt and Sehun follows his mocking gaze.

“What’s wrong with this shirt? Why does everyone think I have such a bad sense of fashion?”

“Because you do. You must be the only gay person in this world who doesn’t know how to dress well.”

“How do you know I’m even gay?”

“Oh, please. I notice things.”

“Notice… things like… what?”

“Like how you and Kai make stupid boyfriend-eyes at each other. It’s like _‘Hey, I hate you. And I’m gonna keep pretending like I hate you. You do the same, because you know, admitting that we like each other and date like normal people is too mainstream and overrated.’_ That sort of things.”

Sehun gulps. “So… you know.”

“So, I know. I mean, I’m not an idiot. He kissed you in front of a lot people in the feast hall.”

“That’s just—”

“Hey, look. I don’t really care if you guys date or whatever, okay?”

“But why? You’ll be comfortable with me dating Kris’ brother?”

Shixun falls silent for a moment with his hand fiddling with the spoon in the ice-cream tub. “Kris and I are over.”

“You can never look straight whenever you say that, you know.”

Shixun’s eyes fling up from the tub. He bites his lower lip and drops his gaze back to the spoon. “It doesn’t matter. I’m seeing someone else now. He probably is, too.”

“Have you asked him that? How is he doing without you?”

“He’s fine, Sehun. He’s not going to die from misery without me,” he groans and jolts up from the couch. “Besides, men like him should just be single and sleep with whoever the fuck they want.”

Sehun falls silent, unable come up with an appropriate reply. Shixun returns to the common area after a moment and takes his seat back on the couch. “I guess you won’t be going to the Halloween Ball this year?”

“I am. Jaehan thinks it’ll be a great idea.”

“Jaehan? Oh. The Locator. So, you guys are an item now?”

“Not yet,” he says unenthusiastically, changing the TV channel. The doorbell chimes and Shixun gets off the couch with grunt. “I’ll get that.”

Sehun glances down to the new cast around his hand and he sighs. It’s about time he confronted his father. There is no guarantee things will go the way Sehun wants them to and there is no guarantee that anyone would believe him if he told them about how the accident had happened.

“She’s fussing over the zucchini patch outside with Mrs Gump,” Sehun hears Shixun say. “She’s been acting crazy.”

“Well, that’s your Mom.”

“I’ll go get her.” Shixun disappears into the kitchen.

Faiion walks into the room and ruffles Sehun’s hair. “How’re you doing, kiddo?”

“Fine and dandy,” Sehun waves his left hand as his father starts towards the kitchen. “Um… Dad.”

“Yeah?”

Sehun sits up straighter and clears his throat. “Can I talk to you? For a moment?”

His father stares at him for a moment, then says, “Oh, of course. What is this about?”

“Maybe you can sit?”

Faiion nods and takes his seat on the edge of the coffee table, facing Sehun. “What is it, son?”

“Dad… It’s about the accident.”

“Okay.”

“Um… Kai didn’t… crash the car. He didn’t lose control.”

Faiion keeps mum, staring at Sehun.

“Dad… something… did it.”

“What do you mean _something_ did it, Sehun?”

“I don’t know. It’s something. Someone. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I just thought Kai would show up sooner or later and we could explain it to you together. But… it doesn’t seem like he’s gonna show up anytime soon, so…”

“Sehun, what are you talking about?”

“There was someone. There was someone that night who caused the accident.”

“Who?”

“I don’t really know. It was just a… a figure. Faceless. Like a shadow.”

Faiion palms his face and rubs his temples. “Sehun, that does not make sense.”

“Dad, I’m not making this up.”

“I didn’t say you were, Sehun,” he sighs and pauses for a moment. “But… are you sure?”

Sehun grits his teeth and shoots up to his feet. “Dad, you knew about the tombstone. You know about it, didn’t you?”

“What? God, again with the tombstone,” his father shakes his head.

“Dad, I know, okay! I remember! We told you about the tombstone and you reacted like you knew it!”

“What is going on in here?” Grace storms into the room with Shixun by her side.

“I honestly don’t know,” Faiion breathes out, scratching the back of his neck. “He’s talking about the _tombstone_ again.”

“And Arthur Prescott!” Sehun yawps. “Mom, your father. What happened to him?! Didn’t you lock him… his soul up in a tombstone?!”

Grace looks utterly confused. “What? Sehun, what on earth are you talking about?”

“There was a tombstone down there! Kai opened it. Ever since, something’s been tormenting us. Tormenting Kai. He needs help. I know none of you will trust us, no one is going to trust _him_ , which is why he doesn’t even want to ask for help, but this is what family is for! You have to help him, Mom. Dad. I don’t care whether you believe me or not, but just please, help him.”

Grace and Shixun could only gape at Sehun while Faiion looks terribly tired.

“Sit down, Sehun,” his father says.

“No! I need to know why you’re pretending like you don’t know about the tombstone, Dad!”

“Sehun, relax,” his mother rushes to his side. “You need to calm down. There is _no_ tombstone, Sehun. And I heard from Dillan about Kai’s… problem, too. Trust me. They are already trying to help Kai. We can’t simply interfere.”

“Oh, my God! You don’t get it!” Sehun rasps. “He does not have a psychological problem! I am vouching for him, what more do you need?! I saw it. I saw all of it! The tombstone, the destruction at Kai’s house, the _thing_ that caused the car accident! Sometimes, I see Kai… roaming around while he’s…” Sehun stops himself. He doesn’t know how to elaborate on that. His family members are already looking like they are witnessing some miracle or a really horrible event. Should he even tell them that Kai tried to kill him? Twice? That would only make them think Kai is losing his mind. “You know what. Forget about it.”

“No, Sehun. Sit down,” Grace says. “And tell us calmly what has happened. From the beginning to the end. Without leaving a single detail out. No one said that we don’t believe you, okay, darling? You are just very… frustrated right now. So, sit. And you can tell me everything.”

Sehun sucks in a few breaths and slowly nods his head. Just when he is about take his seat, the doorbell rings again and everyone freezes for a moment before Grace hurries to get the door. Sehun looks to his father and finds the man frowning.

“Dad, what are you… hiding?” Sehun asks in a low voice.

“Sehun, this is—”

“Um, Sehun,” Grace appears back in the room. “It’s for you.”

Sehun’s heart furiously skips a beat when he sees Kai, whose hands are plunged into the pockets of his leather jacket. Gritting his teeth, Sehun marches towards him. “Mom, can I…” he bites his tongue as he pulls his arm out of the arm sling and grabs Kai’s arm before he hauls him upstairs to his room. Locking the door behind him, he turns to face Kai. “So considerate of you to finally show up.”

Kai hasn’t even shaved. He looks like shit, to be plainly put. “Is this a bad time?”

Sehun lets out an exasperated breath. “I told my parents.”

“Told them what?”

“Everything. Well, most of the things. But I can’t do this alone. And you can’t run away, Kai. You can’t just abandon me like that because one thing went wrong!”

“One thing went wrong? I… I almost killed you, Sehun,” his voice barely makes it out of his mouth. “Again.”

“I’m not blaming you for that!”

“You should, Sehun! You fucking should!”

“You and I both know it wasn’t you, Kai.”

“Yeah. But you were around _me_ when it happened. This wouldn’t have happened to you if I weren’t around you!”

“Oh, my God,” he runs his right hand through his hair for the first time in two weeks. “Don’t do this.”

“I never should have… come closer to you.”

“Stop,” Sehun lets out and crosses the distance between them. “You can’t do this. Okay? You are not allowed to do this. You don’t get to pull me close and when I finally want to be close to you, you can’t push me away.” He presses his good hand to Kai’s chest. “You can’t run away from me because of one bad thing.”

“Sehun,” he whispers, pressing their foreheads together. “I don’t want to. But…”

“I want to do this with you, Kai. I want to… be with you. And honestly, I… couldn’t think of a better way to die than in your hands. So, I’m not really that upset about it.”

Kai clasps his hands to the sides of Sehun’s face and presses his lips hard against Sehun’s. He does not give Sehun a single second to breathe as he kisses him, abusing Sehun’s lower lip with his tongue and teeth.

Sehun kisses him back, twice as hard and pulls one of Kai’s hands down his chest and abdomen. He lets Kai slip his hand into his shirt and Kai makes a soft noise when his cold palm is splayed on Sehun’s burning stomach.

“Kai,” Sehun breathes out, breaking the kiss. “I want you.”

“I have to stay away from you. I’m going crazy, Sehun. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“I… Come down. Let’s talk to my mother. It’s about time she knew everything. Please?”

Kai nods his head, a hand cupping Sehun’s cheek, thumb pressed to the cheekbone and another hand feeling the planes of Sehun’s stomach. “Okay.”


	41. Conceding Defeat (Second Last Chapter?????)

Grace is the first to react once Sehun is done narrating most of everything that has happened. Of course, he left the part about dating Kai out, in this fate and the other. But he has managed to tell them everything, leaving nothing else out.

His mother rises from her seat and begins to pace the room with a hand clasped over her mouth and eyes sheening with tears. Faiion, on the other hand, has his face buried in his palms. Shixun just looks baffled, but he seems to be digesting the information as well. Sehun tightens his right hand around Kai’s and waits for one of them to say something.

Eventually, Grace does. “Did you know anything about this?” she asks Faiion, almost out of breath. Her husband raises his head with a guilt-stricken frown etched to his face. “Did you know anything about this, Faiion?!”

“No! No, Grace. Why would you think I did?!” he yawps, jolting up to his feet from the couch.

“Oh, God,” Grace plants her hands in her hair and grips it. Sehun’s stomach churns with anxiety. He had told her everything from scratch. How and why he had to change her destiny, how he ended up here, how they opened the tombstone and everything that had happened since. He hasn’t, however, told her the part where he went back to the other fate and came back with the information that Kai has created a second self from the Darkness Dimension.

“So, we all had different lives,” Faiion says, facing Sehun. “And Gwenna knew.”

“Yes,” Sehun sighs. “Only she and I knew. And this isn’t coming from Kai, Dad. I had the front row seat to all of this. And I am not crazy. I’m losing my mind. I’m not making this up.”

“I know you’re not,” Grace says. “Why couldn’t you have told your own mother about this?!”

“Because you weren’t my mother, Mom,” Sehun lets out with a heavy heart. “You were… you are now. But when I altered your destiny, you were just this woman who wanted to destroy all our lives. Gwenna advised me to not to tell you anything. To not to tell anyone anything. It wouldn’t do anyone any good.”

“Look at where that had got you.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Mom, you have to believe me.”

Grace looks greatly distressed as she flumps back onto the couch and presses her face into her hands. “The tombstone,” she says, bringing her head up again. “I didn’t even know it was in my house.”

“I did,” Faiion says and takes his seat beside his wife. “I knew. Gwenna knew. Gwenna warped and contorted the basement, so that no one will find out about it. Especially you.”

Grace stands up and gapes at Faiion, so does Sehun. “You… you did know about it, then,” says Kai.

“Yes. Yes. But no one should have been able to access it without Gwenna removing the warped curtain! You shouldn’t have found it! I checked it myself after you had mentioned it on the night of Gwenna’s service and the tombstone was still chained and locked. But that’s all. I was planning to remove it myself after Gwenna’s death, but… that night when Kai wanted to show us the tombstone, it was gone. I was… I was confused, too and I didn’t know how to tell you, Grace. I knew you’d be mad.”

“What the hell was in the tombstone?!” Grace ferociously growls at her husband.

Faiion rubs his forehead, keeping mum.

“Faiion!” Grace shouts, losing her temper at last.

“I really don’t know, Grace. I swear.”

Silence falls between them and Grace wobbles shakily to the mantelpiece and hangs onto it. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“Gwenna begged me not to. She thought it best to not to tell you. She only recently brought it here and asked me to keep it for a while. She never told me if she kept something in there.”

“Why wouldn’t Gwenna want me to know? Then, she could have just brought and kept it elsewhere. Why here?”

“I had a dream about the door of the basement where the tombstone was kept,” Kai says in a low voice. “It was the first time I… I felt so… drawn to the door, the tombstone. It was calling to me. I… I couldn’t stop myself.”

“We thought it might be your father, Mom,” Sehun cuts in.

“My… father?” Grace arches her eyebrows. “We buried him ages ago, Sehun.”

“Wouldn’t Gwenna have known where you buried him?” Shixun speaks up for the first time and he immediately has everyone’s attention.

“She would,” Grace mutters. “Why did she bring the tombstone here? And,” she faces her husband. “You never thought to ask her what she kept in it, Faiion?!”

“I… I couldn’t, Grace.” Faiion’s voice is almost dead.

“Why, Faiion?”

“I just couldn’t… She was… I don’t know. I just couldn’t tell you.”

Grace’s face wilts for a moment. “Did she…”

“I don’t know, Grace. Now that I think about it, she might have.”

“What?” Sehun interrupts. “What are you talking about?”

Grace shakes her head. “No, she wouldn’t have.”

“Whatever that was in that tombstone, it’s messing with my head now,” Kai says. “He’s using me to travel… or whatever. It’s like my body is his premise.”

“Because you had opened the tombstone?” Shixun asks.

“Why did no one tell me about this earlier?!” Grace snaps. “You all had to wait until someone got really hurt to tell me this?! This is… this is unbelievable.”

“Mom,” Sehun sighs. “There’s something else. I see Kai out of his body. I thought it was… his soul while your father’s soul is occupying his body. But… in the car crash, there was a figure. And it caused the accident. But that’s not just it. I saw it trying to… reach Kai. And I saw Kai while Kai was _there_. Another Kai. A shadow of him. I don’t know. He was keeping that figure away from Kai. It was him, but… Mom, Kai might have created another self. From his Darkness Dimension.”

“Darkness… Dimension?” Grace echoes.

“Yes. I heard it from Kai. In the other fate. He told me to go to Allis for help. He said that when he was younger, he had created a darker persona of himself and that with day, the persona grew stronger and more powerful.”

“How do you… know that?” Kai demands, shooting up to his full height. Sehun meets his confused glare. “When did you…”

“I did go back, Kai. I… I went to look for Gwenna. I met… you.”

That instant, the way Kai’s face dies almost kills Sehun. In a single second, Kai’s entire expression turns miserable. He averts his gaze from Sehun’s eyes and drops back onto the couch.

“And you’re sure of this,” Grace says.

“No. But I had seen the… the other Kai, Mom. While Kai was still there. For some odd reason, I’m the only who can see him. And I had seen the figure, too. And if we did unleash something from the tombstone, it is that figure.”

Grace nods considerately, although she looks beyond perplexed and dumbfounded. “And Allis can help with this because she can enter any dimension.”

“I don’t… know. I don’t know what Aunt Allis’ Flair is.”

“Okay,” she scrubs her face with her palms. “Okay. I’m going to call her this instant and have her come over. Let’s deal with Kai’s problem first. Then we’ll try to figure this... tombstone thing out.”

“Grace—”

“I don’t want to talk to you right now, Faiion,” Grace spits. “You didn’t only not tell me, but you weren’t there for our son when he needed you!”

“Grace, I couldn’t—” she cuts him off with a wave of her hand and bolts upstairs and Faiion hurries after her.

Kai rises to his feet and storms out of there, wiping his face with his bare hands. Sehun exchanges a glance with Shixun before he goes after Kai.

“Kai,” he calls once they are out of the house. The cold air of the night slithers down his spine and he shudders. “Kai, wait.” He grabs Kai’s arm and stops him.

“You didn’t tell me,” Kai says in a monotonous voice with his eyes glossed with fatigue. He looks like he might surrender and collapse to the ground. “Why?”

“Because… because you told me not to.”

“Because I told you not to.”

“Yes. You said that I shouldn’t let you know under any circumstance, but I can’t help you leaving you out.”

“You saw him.”

“I… saw you.”

“No,” Kai shakes his head, pulling his arm free. “You told him about our problem.”

“Yes, I did. And he… you told me that you had created a personality in the Darkness Dimension and it is taking you over.”

“Wow,” Kai says unenthusiastically. “You sure did have quite a conversation there, didn’t you?”

“Kai—”

“For how long were you with him?”

“God, please—”

“Why did you come back?”

“Because I wanted to.”

“Why did you come back, Sehun?” he asks through his grit teeth.

Sehun is silent for a moment before he says, “You wanted me to. You… wanted a second chance. A better life. You told me to go back and… and make your life better for you. For us.”

“So, when you said you wanted to make everything right for me, you meant that you were doing it for _him_.” Kai advances forward with his hands balled into fists at his sides.

“Kai—”

“Not because you cared shit for _me_. Not because you love _me._ You agreed to _try_ because this is what he wants. Well, guess what! I am not him!” his hand flings up to clutch Sehun’s shirt collar.

“Stop,” Sehun says, eyes stinging with tears. “Kai, that’s not true.”

Then out of the sudden, Kai clenches his jaw and eyes, at the same time his grip on Sehun’s shirt tightens. He opens his eyes and growls at Sehun. “Did you sleep with him?” he snarls, shoving Sehun back.

Sehun, stumped and breathless, gapes at Kai’s pitch black eyes. They are completely black. “Kai…”

“Answer,” he spits through his clenched teeth.

“Kai, you’re…”

“I do have a problem, Sehun. And you know what? _You_ are my problem,” his eyes return to normal as he releases Sehun’s shirt and turns his back to Sehun.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ve decided that I don’t want your help,” he says, facing Sehun again. “I don’t need _his_ help. I am fine on my own.”

“That isn’t you talking, is it?” Sehun breathes out, chest heaving a little. “Kai, come back inside.”

“No.” He starts to walk away again.

“Kai!”

“You stay away from me, Sehun. Just… keep everyone away from me.”

Sehun pants for air, leaning against the shrubs. This is bad. This is really, really bad.

 

* * *

 

“Where are you going?” Grace inquires from the chaise lounge when she sees him sauntering past the living room. For the past two days, his parents had done nothing but rack their brains, trying to sort everything out and find a solution.

“To FLAC. There’s a cab waiting for us outside.”

“Are you barking mad?! Why?”

“I have to talk to Kai, Mom,” Sehun says, shrugging into the cardigan. “We shouldn’t have just let him go.” It has been two nights since Kai had just stormed off like that. Sehun hadn’t gone after him for several reasons. But he should have.

“No. Sehun, his parents will talk to him. Dillan said she’ll take care of it.”

“Yes, but… Mom, I have to see him.”

“It’s not safe.”

“You can’t keep me under house arrest just because grandpa might attack me out of nowhere.”

His mother scowls. “ _Grandpa_.”

“Yeah,” Sehun shrugs. “It is basically grandpa.”

“We don’t know that for sure. And you’re not leaving the house, Sehun. You almost died.”

“I am alive. And Mom, I’ll be safe. Shixun is going with me,” he jerks his thumb towards his brother, who is waiting for him near the door. “And FLAC is technically the safest place on earth with hundreds of Flairers around. In the morning, at least. I’ll be home before the sun goes down.”

“Sehun, Kai will get help. One way or the other. You don’t have to feel obligated to talk him into it. You have enough on your own plate. This is Kai’s problem.”

“No, Mom. He is the one that is suffering the most now. I’m not even directly involved in what he’s going through. I want to be there for him.”

His mother finally sighs. “Fine. You have your phone with you?”

“Yes.”

“Can I at least drive you there?”

“No. Mom, trust me. I have been through worst. Kai won’t hurt me.”

His mother still looks sceptical. “And all the time you’ve got hurt you were with Kai. I’m coming with you.”

 

* * *

 

Sehun is grateful for Shixun keeping their mother mostly distracted as soon as they have entered the castle. The drive here has almost been unbearable with Grace drilling Sehun for more details than what he has already given last night. Sehun looks down at his left hand as they wend their way to the towers. The doctor had removed the cast this morning, which is another thing he is grateful for. He doesn’t need classmates walking up to him, asking what happened to his hand.

“Mom, can you wait down here?” Sehun asks when he reaches the tower staircase.

“Why?”

“I’ll go see if he’s in his room. Maybe you can find Dillan in her office.”

“I’ll do that. You stay here,” she tells Shixun, who makes a tired face. “If something happens—”

“Oh, for God’s sakes, Mom,” Shixun cries. “Kai is not going to jump him and slit his throat! He would have done it sooner if he wanted to, okay?”

Well, they do not know about the fact that Kai did almost kill Sehun that night.

“Be quick. Allis will meet us back at the mansion shortly.” With that Grace, disappears. Sehun mouths a _thanks_ to Shixun before he leaps up the stairs.

The door is not locked, thankfully. And when Sehun pushes it open, he finds Kai in the room. “Hey,” he says and Kai brings his head up to meet Sehun with surprised eyes.

“What are you doing here?” he asks blatantly.

“I wanted to…” Sehun’s gaze drops to the clothes Kai is holding in his hands and then shifts to the half-filled backpack and duffle bag on Kai’s bed. “Talk to you.” he finishes with a whisper. “What are these? Are you… are you going somewhere?”

Kai does not answer as he stuffs the shirts into the backpack and zips it up.

“Kai,” Sehun calls, crossing the room. “What are y… Kai!”

“What do you want, Sehun?” Kai asks, annoyed and glowering.

“You’re… leaving?” Sehun’s heart almost jumps out of his chest. His breaths quicken and his hands begin to shake. “Where are you planning to go? You’re running away?! Why?! You’re that afraid to face your problem?!”

“I’m afraid I’m going to hurt you, Sehun!” he bursts. “Whenever I close my eyes these nights, all that I can think about is you and trust me, it’s not the mushy, cuddly kind of thoughts.”

“That isn’t you! It’s… it’s the… the other… Kai, please. Let us help you.”

“Why would you? This isn’t anybody’s problem but mine. I brought it upon myself. I opened the tombstone. I created this other persona that you mentioned. If anything, I am the weaker one that has let everyone take over my mind and body!” he throws a couple of shoes into the duffle bag and zips it close.

“So, your idea of dealing with all of this is by disappearing?!”

“What will happen if I disappear, Sehun?” he asks in a calmer voice, but his eyes are anything but calm. “Whatever shit that is tagging along with me disappears, too.”

“Kai, we are all trying to help you. Mom and Dad have even talked to the Ministry to find a solution.”

“Yeah. My mother has been trying to talk to me all day. She even wanted to lock me up.”

“Kai, we’re going to help you get rid of the other persona _and_ Arthur.”

“I won’t let you…” Kai mutters to himself, lowering his head.

“What?”

“I… I sometimes… talk to myself, Sehun. It’s been happening for the past two weeks. I hear myself say… stuff. But…” he shakes his head. “Don’t. Just stay away from me.” Only then does Sehun realize that he is edging closer to Kai. He comes to a halt.

“Kai, you can’t leave,” he pleads pathetically with tears burning the back of his eyes.

“You’re not going to stop me, Sehun,” he palms his face and rubs his forehead before he turns to face Sehun. “You once asked me what my tattoos mean.” He takes a step closer and gently cups a side of Sehun’s cheek. “They mean our names, Sehun. World and virtue. And victory.”

The instant freezes for Sehun as his heart sinks along with his body. Kai’s touch alone keeps him erect and still breathing. “Why… would you…”

“I was young. And dumb. I just thought there has to be a way to never… erase you from me. A way to always keep us together. Of course, back then I just convinced myself that I love virtue and victory and Sanskrit,” he scoffs. “It’s never easy to love you, you know. But… falling in love with you was the easiest thing in this world. I did it without even realizing it. I’m never going to forget you, Sehun. I still believe you are the light in my darkness. But you… you don’t deserve me.” he retrieves his hand and turns to attend his bags.

“And you just decide that for yourself?”

“I am not going to change my mind.” He straightens up after slinging the bags over his shoulders.

“Kai.” his voice comes out as a whisper as Kai starts towards the door. Kai pauses and his back muscles stiffen. Then dropping the bags to the floor, he spins around and lurches forward. An arm grapples Sehun’s waist and hauls him close until their chests are pressed together, and a hand grabs the side of Sehun’s face before Kai crushes Sehun’s lips under his.

Sehun could not move his lips. But he keeps his eyes clenched tight as Kai softly kisses his bottom lip before the heat disappears. Sehun cracks his eyes open again when he hears the door slamming shut.


	42. Final Chapter

He knows that it is only a matter of time before his family would try to locate him and come for him. But perhaps they will not. And even if they do try, he is determined to never return. It is better this way. He also knows there aren’t many options left for him, but removing himself from the lives of everyone he cares about is better than hurting them again and again.

He looks down at his palms and clenches them into fists. The night is getting colder and he isn’t sure where he should go. He isn’t even sure about where he _is_. And it has been days since he left. He brings his head up and glances along the seemingly endless road, which is kissed by the autumn rain. He should probably pick himself up from the large piece of rock he has been sitting on for possibly hours and follow wherever the road takes him. The moon has shifted in the sky and the air is becoming heavier by the second.

He is already too far from FLAC, far from home, far from Sehun.

_You’re a fool._

Kai grits his teeth and shuts his eyes. “Get out of my head,” he grumbles to himself.

_I’m not in your head. I am you. You are running away like a fool when you could just get rid of him. Get rid of everyone._

“Shut up,” Kai shoots up to his feet and shakes his head.

_Where are you planning to run to? The end of the world? Go back._

“No,” he spits and slings his bags over his shoulders before he starts towards north of the road. Ever since the accident, Kai has been hearing his own voice echo the thoughts of his deepest, darkest desires. The desire for malice, for cruelty, for darkness. He could not stop the voice, he could not stop his own thoughts. He has to leave. There is no other option.

The moment he realized he was killing Sehun, that his hand was choking the life out of Sehun… He will never forgive himself for that.

_You are weak. Let me make you stronger. Yield. Give in to me. Give in to the darkness._

Kai frowns at the gravel on the road as he comes to an abrupt halt.

“You will not find your light on this path, Kai,” says a distant, but familiar voice.

Kai spins around and stares into the dark of the night. He frantically glances around, wondering if this is just an imagination as well.

“You are almost lost in your own darkness,” the female voice calmly chimes like the silent wind.

Kai’s breaths quicken as the voice slowly registers to his brain. Grace. But no, it is not Grace. He turns around, gasping, “Gwenna?”

His heart almost jumps out of his chest when faces Gwenna, standing only a few inches from him, clad in a long black gown, looking… alive. That instant, all that Kai could do to remain calm is absolutely nothing. He freezes right after staggering a few panicked steps back. Gwenna’s long dark hair cascades on one side and her thin lips stretch into a smile.

Gathering his breaths, Kai wheezes out, “Th-this… this isn’t… you… you can’t be…” he drops his bags to the ground, blinking his eyes rapidly. “Aunt Gwen?!”

“What are you doing, Kai?” she chides in a cool tone and Kai finally realizes this is real. _She_ is real. And she is standing right in front of him. “Do you think you can escape from your Flair? It makes you who you are. The darkness is who you are.” She takes a step closer and Kai, unable to even turn a hair, gapes at her in both horror and confusion.

“Am… am I… imagining… this?”

“No, you’re not, Kai,” she whispers, lifting a hand to Kai’s face. Her cold fingertips brush a corner of Kai’s cheek and it sends a jolt down his spine.

“Oh, my god,” Kai lets out, eyes almost popping out.

Gwenna does not remove her hand from Kai’s cheek. “You can’t run away from your darkness, Kai,” she says.

_Run. Run now._

Kai clenches his eyes tight and opens them again, only to meet Gwenna’s smile. “You want to run,” she hums.

“N-no… I don’t. What is happening?! How are you not… dead?!” he grabs Gwenna’s arm.

Her smile does not falter when she says, “I was never dead, darling.”

Kai releases her arm.

_Get away from her._

“Is this… real?” Kai pants out.

“You are very confused. The darkness, the nothingness is starting to consume your mind, body and soul, isn’t it?”

That moment, the only thing that Kai could think to say is, “H-help me…”

“You are weak,” she mutters gently. “Finally.”

“What?”

_Kill her. Now._

Kai retreats a step. “What is happening, Aunt Gwenna? What the hell is going on?!” A sharp chill runs down Kai’s back and he turns around only to see the black, blurry, faceless figure lifting an arm towards him.

“Unlike you, _he_ knows how to manipulate darkness. And you have the Flair for it,” says Gwenna and Kai turns to face her again. “I control _him_ , _he_ will control _you_. Your body and your Flair can be overtaken by another soul that can access the darkness and my father harvests energy from the darkness for his astral body, and fortunately for me, I can control the mind of my father’s soul than I can ever control yours. Especially the darker side of you. But you are so weak now.” She clasps her hands to the sides of Kai’s face and presses her thumbs to Kai’s temples. Kai could not even lift a finger. He could not even focus on moving his body. “You have such a strong willpower. But the weaker part of you is vulnerable now.”

“What are you doing?” Kai stammers out.

“ _His_ soul needs a premise and you will share your body with him. _He_ is strong enough now. He has fed from your soul. Don’t worry. I won’t let him hurt you. I just need you to share your power with _him_ so that I can access the Darkness Dimension through him.”

“Wh… Why?”

“Because controlling all four of the Cataclysmic Dimensions will make me the ruler of all dimensions and worlds, Kai. The Phantasmagoria Dimension, the Non-Temporal Dimension, The Afterworld Dimension and finally, _your_ Darkness Dimension. I do not want to harm any of you. So… be a darling and surrender.”

“You,” Kai croaks out painfully. “You made me… open the tombstone. You’re the one who gave me the nightmares…”

“You had to be the one to release Arthur. I’m sorry,” she says, though her eyes seem remorseless. “When my father died, his soul was meant for your body. I went through a great deal for this moment. Our soul is our soul. The body might change, but the soul remains. I can travel through dimensions, along the thread of the fates. And thanks to my beloved nephew, my soul remains in this fate as well. He made my plans all so possible. I do, however, have a favour to ask of you now, before you become a doorway for me to access the Darkness Dimension.”

Kai would have dropped to his knees if it weren’t for Gwenna’s hands that are holding his face. He could not even open his mouth anymore. And he knows the eerie entity still lingers behind him.

“I want you to break the _bond_ between Sehun and Shixun, by any means necessary. Please?” She pulls her hands down Kai’s cheeks, gently caressing them. “And to ensure that you succeed, my father will suppress your soul within your body. You will be trapped, but at least you will not roam aimlessly without a body.” With a smile, she retrieves her hands. “I really am sorry, Kai. I wish there was another way, but there really isn’t.”

That is when Kai falls to his knees, out of breath and half dead. “No, please” is the last thing he manages to say before he is enveloped by the smoky, shadowy limbs of the dark entity, then by the darkness.

“You will come back to me as soon as you have done what I’ve asked for. And perhaps, we can talk more later.”

 

 

“Bowtie or necktie?” Sehun holds them up both for Chanyeol to examine and judge.

Chanyeol, lying recumbent on Sehun’s bed, all primped and ready in his vampire outfit. He even has the fangs and all the shebang. “I still can’t guess what you’re gonna be tonight.”

“Drunk, hopefully,” Sehun rolls his eyes and turns to face the mirror. “Necktie it is.” He struggles with the necktie as his hands haven’t really healed completely and then adjusts the lapels of his black suit jacket. He was not planning on going to the Halloween Ball after all that has happened, but he did not want to go home since things aren’t exactly good there either.

This is Chanyeol’s idea. Though he doesn’t really know all the details of what has happened, he somehow senses that Sehun has been feeling nothing but miserable as of late. So, this might be a good distraction. Except that Sehun knows it won’t.

“Thanks for dyeing my hair and the haircut, though,” he says, spying his neatly gelled, new brown hair.

“Can I know now what you are ‘cause so far, you look like you’ve jumped out of a Bond movie.” He sits up on the edge of the bed and adjusts his Count Dracula cape.

Sehun turns to face his friend. “I’m the future Shixun. The renowned head of the Ministry or the owner of NASA.”

Chanyeol blinks for a moment and then his eyes flick to Sehun’s hair. “Shit, that’s clever as fuck.”

“I know,” Sehun smirks, buttoning the suit jacket.

There is a sudden knock on the door and Sehun freezes for a moment. No, he needs to stop hoping that every time someone walks through the door, it’s Kai. Kai is gone. Kai chose to leave instead of facing his problems. Sehun has to stop worrying over this. He must focus his energy on something else.

Yes, for a huge part, Sehun is indeed mad at Kai. He is furious at him. Kai would rather push him away, although his reasons are justifiable, than trust him and let him fight with him by his side. Yes, Sehun is also tired of this.

But not a single hour has passed for him without the tormenting thoughts about Kai’s welfare and whereabouts ever since Kai has left. Grace had assured him that Dillan and her husband are going to give Kai a little time to let off some steam, though they are keeping a tab on him. Everyone is convinced that Kai will not accept any help until he willingly wants it, and that he will return sooner than they think. They are all more focused on Arthur for the time being.

Chanyeol gets the door and he scowls at Kris, who seems surprised to see Chanyeol in Sehun’s room. “Oh, great. Another reason for you to _suck_ ,” Kris scoffs at Chanyeol, scrutinizing his vampire costume.

“What do you want?” Chanyeol asks. He is a little bitter about Kris cheating on Shixun, Sehun supposes. Shixun accidentally let his guard down around Chanyeol once and apparently, Chanyeol read his mind, and he also found out that Shixun is still miserably in love with Kris, but is too thick-headed to admit it. Chanyeol also isn’t a fan of Kris because Kris happens to be his best friend’s ex-boyfriend.

 “Sehun’s back?” Kris asks.

“I’m here, Kris. Come in,” Sehun calls out and Chanyeol groans a little before he walks out of the room.

“See you later, Sehun,” Chanyeol says and disappears.

Kris steps in, clad in a simple t-shirt and a hoodie with jeans. “You’re not going to the ball?” Sehun inquires as Kris shuts the door.

“No. And I figured there’s no point in going home either since—”

“There’s no gathering.”

“Yeah,” Kris sticks his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and gnaws on his lower lip, looking down at the floor. “So… you… don’t know where Kai went? No clue whatsoever?”

Sehun heaves a sigh and faces the mirror. “He just took off, Kris. I don’t know if he’s coming back.”

“I heard about… everything.”

“It’s a shitstorm.”

“Yeah,” he pushes his hair out of his forehead and lets out a heavy breath.

“Is that… what you wanted to ask me?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he murmurs, trying hard not to make eye-contact. “You… you really look like Shixun.”

“Did you miss the memo saying that we’re _twins_?” Sehun gently smiles.

Kris smirks as well. “What are you going for here?”

“The future Shixun.”

“Are you kidding?” his eyes widen.

“No?” Sehun laughs.

“Wow.”

“Exactly.”

“That has got to win the best costume tonight.”

“You should really come.”

Kris shakes his head.

“Why?” Sehun asks. “Because of Shixun?”

“He’s gonna be there with his brand-new boyfriend and I’m just not up for it,” he breathes exasperatedly. “I just wanted to check on how you’re doing now that you’re back in school.”

“I’m fine. Thanks, Kris.”

Kris nods his head, licking his lips. “You know, the last time I saw you, you were… you were…”

“I get it,” Sehun sighs. “Well, I’m not dead.” He shrugs.

He nods again and finally looks up at Sehun. He smiles and steps forward. He brings his hands up to adjust the necktie and Sehun stands still. “I’m glad you’re fine.”

“Thank you. I am fine. I really am.” Physically, at least. If only Kris could see into Sehun’s head, he would be appalled by the chaos in there.

“I have to go look for Kai.”

“What?”

“I can’t just let him handle this shit on his own. My parents might think he’s strong enough, but I know him better than them. He would never abandon me if I were in his shoes and vice versa.”

“Kris, you didn’t abandon him.”

“He has two brothers and yet he’s alone.”

“That’s his choice,” Sehun says, though he doesn’t think so. Kai had another a choice, a better one. One that would include Sehun and both their families. “Trust me. He is not going to listen to any of us.” And Sehun himself doesn’t believe that. He wants to go now. He wants to go look for Kai right this instant, but he knows it will be a futile effort.

Kris sighs, straightening the collar of Sehun’s black shirt. Sehun keeps his eyes on Kris’ hooded ones. Then Kris meets his gaze. For a very brief moment, Kris lightly latches his hands to the sides of Sehun’s neck and with only inches away, he lowers his languid gaze to Sehun’s lips.

Alarmed, Sehun clears his throat and withdraws with a start. Kris’ cheeks crimson and he sucks in a breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “I should go,” Kris mutters and turns on his heel.

“You’re not going after Kai, are you?”

Kris pauses by the door before he storms out of there without saying anything more.

Letting out a loud breath, Sehun flumps to sit on the bed.

Kris is right about one thing. If it had been Sehun or Kris, or anyone Kai cares about for that matter, who’s in Kai’s plight, Kai wouldn’t hesitate a single a minute before he would have gone after them.

 

* * *

 

“This is insanity,” Sehun gasps, entering the hall. Everyone is dressed impeccably well for a Halloween night. Sehun spots a number of zombies, some superheroes and several witches within the first two minutes. Kyungsoo is dressed up as a carrot and he is talking to a faculty member. Jack-o’-lanterns, gravestones, green lights, witch brooms, skeletons and cobwebs strung all over the walls and ceiling adorn the hall.

“You’re late! Here!” Baekhyun comes rushing to his side, clad in a milkmaid costume, which makes Sehun gape for a moment. But damn, it suits him perfectly. He hands Sehun a cup of something green.

“Thanks!” Sehun yells with the music blaring all over the hall. “This doesn’t seem much like a ball!”

“What were you expecting? A dance with Beast?” Baekhyun laughs and winks at Chanyeol. When Sehun looks to Chanyeol, he helplessly grins at his friend whose jaw is on the floor as he gawks at Baekhyun.

“I don’t know about a dance with Beast, but I’m sure a dance with Count Dracula is possible!” Sehun howls and nudges Chanyeol towards Baekhyun.

Shrugging, Chanyeol yanks Baekhyun towards the dancefloor with a toothy grin etched to his face as Sehun takes a swig of the green drink. It burns a little, but it is light. And it is minty, but sweet. Sehun glances around the hall to scan all the costumes. Everyone is either dancing or drinking. Sehun plans on having a couple of drinks before retreating to his room.

He spots Shixun near the food table and blinks several times. Shixun is not in a costume. He is just filling, draining and refilling his cup. “Hey,” Sehun says, walking up to him.

Shixun jumps a little with a full mouth and swallows the drink before glaring at Sehun. “What are you doing here?” his eyes scan Sehun from top to toe. “What are you wearing?”

“I’m the future you. Get it?” he grins.

Shixun scowls harder. “I’m just here for the booze and I’m out. And how can you think of partying at a time like this?”

“I’m not here to party, Shixun.”

“Certainly looks like you are.”

“I really am not. I came for Chanyeol and Baekhyun. They forced me to wear a costume, so this is sort of last-minute costume. And I thought you’re bringing Jaehan tonight.”

“Yeah, that was before all the crap and Kai left.”

“He will be… fine, Shixun.” He lies, clasping a hand to Shixun’s shoulder and watches his brother pour a cup of the green drink into his mouth. Then tossing the cup away, Shixun stiffens for a moment before he leans in and drops his face on Sehun’s shoulder. Sighing and patting Shixun’s back, Sehun asks, “You… wanna get out here?”

“Yes, please,” Shixun mumbles. But even before they could move an inch, Shixun whimpers and breaks into tears. Taken aback, Sehun wraps his arms around his sobbing brother and hopes that Shixun doesn’t cry out loud.

“Oh, god, Shixun, what’s wrong?” Sehun says into Shixun’s ear.

“I don’t know!”

“Come on, Shixun.” He pulls Shixun towards the exit. Sehun loosens his necktie as they take their seat on one of the railings in the corridor near the hall. “What happened, Shixun?” he inquires as Shixun sniffles and cries into Sehun’s shoulder.

“I’m worried about you. I’m worried about that stupid Kai. I don’t want to date Jaehan. He’s an asshole. I know I seem like the last person who would give a damn about this situation, but I can’t bear to see you hurt, Sehun. I almost lost my mind when Mom called and told me that you got into a serious car accident.”

“Oh, my god,” Sehun lets out, draping an arm over Shixun’s shoulders and buries his nose into Shixun’s hair. “I’m… I’m okay, Shixun.”

“And I miss him. I miss him so much.”

“Who? Kris? Jesus,” he lifts Shixun’s face to meet his eyes. “You guys are being crazy. Some of us can never be with people we love. But you guys can and you’re just throwing it away. Put your egos aside and go talk things out, for god’s sake.”

“I don’t think it’s the time to focus on it…”

“Shixun, don’t wait for the right moment for things like this. There will never be a right moment. You just have to risk it.”

Shixun wipes his cheeks with the back of his hands and he sucks in a deep, shaky breath. “You like Kai, don’t you?”

Sehun licks his lips. “I guess.”

Exhaling a breath, Shixun gets on his feet. “Let’s just get back to the ball and grab more drinks.”

Sehun nods, smiling. “Let’s do that.”

“Ah, just the people I wanted to meet.”

Sehun glances up, halting by the entrance and his heart hops up to his throat when he sees Kai walking towards them. Kai.

“Kai?” Shixun gasps with ballooned eyes.

“Kai, you’re… here,” Sehun says as the music blasts in the background. “When did you…” he trails off as Kai continues to advance forward. He looks different. His eyes are almost completely black. Sehun’s stomach clenches.

Kai has his jaw locked and he stomps closer. He grabs an unlit torch in the corridor and wrenches it off the wall. He swings and tosses the torch in his hand. Sehun stares at him wordlessly and as Kai edges closer, his heart begins to pound harder. Kai does not approach Sehun. He stomps towards Shixun instead.

“No!” Sehun cries when Kai stops before Shixun and without any mercy, he drives the sharp end of the torch right through Shixun’s chest. Blood splutters out of Shixun’s mouth. In the grip of panic, Sehun paralyzes. His brain stops functioning, like it is pickled in brine. His heart stops and he reflexively lurches forward with a shrill scream with brain synapses firing like a cannon. Kai yanks the concatenation chain Sehun wears around his neck out the shirt and snaps it off before he lifts his hand and waves it once.

A blink of an eye is all it takes when reality fades away, replaced by nothing, but pure darkness. He is enveloped in a cloak of blackness. He sees _nothing_ , he hears _nothing_ , he feels _nothing_. He does not hear the sound of his own heartbeat. Yet, he knows he is alive. He is conscious. Then slowly, he feels the emptiness seep into his soul, into every cell of his body.

There is absolutely nothing that he could do. He is just there. With nothing. His heart empties out and his mind slowly fades. He exists, but not in a dimension where he _can_ exist. He is static. He is unmoving. He is not human.

Then he hears it before he sees it. His eyes are pulled open and he feels bound, trapped. He gasps and looks around the dark. He is not standing, but he is not lying down either. It is just dark and there are whispers, whispers everywhere. He does not know where they come from, but they are all over him. Something is holding him back, keeping him in place. And then he feels them. The hands, the arms. Tens, hundreds of hands. All gripping him and holding him back. Something screeches in pain and Sehun could call for help. He could not fight it. Fear and terror have his stomach up in knots, and the dread creeps over him. He turns numb, but at the same time, he is in pain. Emotional pain and yet, he couldn’t scream for help.

_Help._

And then the darkness disappears all of a sudden.

Sehun drops to his knees as he returns to the actual physical world and he pants for air as his senses come back to him. Kai has vanished.

Beside him, Shixun is on the floor, immobile and floating in a pool of blood.

“Shi... xun?” Sehun’s voice comes out as a dead whisper. “No… No. No! No! No! Help! Somebody help!” he screams, scooping Shixun up into his arms as tears uncontrollably flows down his cheeks.

 

_To be continued..._


	43. Cosmic Pandemonium

>>>>>>>>PART 3 OF PRODIGIALIS **[COSMIC PANDEMONIUM](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8486176)**


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